He's On Your Mind
by kouichi kimura 4eva
Summary: When faced with life changing decisions that may mean the end of Stan and Kyle's relationship, Kyle debates with himself whether he should come clean with his love for Stan or if he should continue keeping it a secret and risk losing Stan to Wendy.
1. Super Best Friends

A/N: Wow this is the first time that I've written in years. I guess inspiration just kinda came to me suddenly. But anyways, chapter one is a bit short right now since it's kinda like an introduction, but not really one. I dunno. I just hope you enjoy this. I'll try my best to finish this story since I am planning on to. Oh, and please, no flames.

Thanks,

yaminohikari (aka Kouichi_Kimura_4eva)

* * *

1.

Super Best Friends

**Kyle**

'_Why?'_

I had asked myself this question over and over again. Every fucking day it's the same question. Every time I look at him and her holding hands or kissing I would question myself '_What is it about her that's so much better than me?'_ I mean we're exactly the same except for the fact that she's a chick and I'm kinda...not.

Like right now. The way Wendy Testaburger is holding onto my best friend's arm and the way he is smiling back and nuzzling against her makes me wonder why I can't be the one in her place right now, holding my best friend the way she is.

I drop my gaze from them and bargain with myself what I would give to have him look at me the same way he does with Wendy. As I try to ignore his chuckling at some comment she made about yesterday's math homework that Mr. Garrison assigned, I pull out my Calculus textbook and 'pretend' to study. I doubt he even know what she's talking about. With the way he's always running to me for homework help I doubt he even knows the difference between a square root and a derivative.

He's such a fake. Doing that just to impress her. At least with me he wouldn't need to put up such a facade to impress me. At least I wished I had that problem.

"...yle? Kyle?"

I look up from my 'reading' to find a pair of familiar blue eyes gazing at me, making me stumble back and hit the wooden bus pole with a dull 'thud' sound.

"Ow. Uh...Sorry I was studying." I fumble while fixing my green ushanka.

He laughs casually. "I can see that." he mumbles as he brushes snow off of my jacket which makes my heart skip a beat. Shit, any kind of contact from him makes my heart jump as dumb as that sounds. Immediately feeling like a school girl I change the subject by clearing my throat to somehow divert his attention away from my reddened face.

"W-where's Wendy?" I question his missing arm accessory.

"She left like fifteen minutes ago, dude." Stan chuckled again with a hint of worry across his face. "Dude, what's the matter with you lately?"

I clench my textbook closer to my chest almost like some sort of security blanket. I guess in some way it is, with the way I bury myself in my studies to ignore what's really going on around me and to pretend that the only world that exists for me is school while the rest is just some kind of retarded world that I don't belong in. Or in better words, a world that I can't be in. See, my world and Stan's world are polar opposites. He's the captain of the football team in our high school, he's popular with everyone and he also has this aura around him makes everyone he meets like him immediately. Whereas with me, I'm just 'around.' Whenever Stan hangs around with me people are surprised as to why the most popular guy in our high school would hang around with such a nerd. Of course they don't say anything directly to him because who would want to risk their friendship with _the_ Stan Marsh. And the only time that anyone ever talks to me is to get close to Stan. Despite how similar we were when we were little, we were bound to go our separate directions sooner or later.

He doesn't belong with me and I don't belong with him.

"Don't worry. I'm just stressed with the midterms that are coming up." I lie as I normally do whenever he asks me the same question. I can sense by the way he's looking at me that he doesn't buy it for a second. But as usual he sighs and gives a nod. Sorry Stan I can't tell you without risking what's left of our relationship.

"So you wanna come hang with me if you're not busy now?"

My face lights up. Whenever we hang out Wendy would always be there because Stan always asks whenever she's around. But this time, for the first time in God knows how long she isn't here!

"Goddammit Stan of course!" I practically shout making Stan flinch back a bit, resulting in him giving me a "he's outta his fucking mind" kind of look. But knowing Stan he'll just smile and shrug it off and think that there's probably some reasonable explanation for my moment of insanity.

Stan chuckles "Dude did you like get good mark back from one of your assignments or something?" he shrugs. Typical Stan.

"No. I'm just happy to be alone with you for once." I reply without thinking and immediately smack myself for saying such a thing out loud. My heart races in my chest as Stan stares at me with surprise. '_Oh no! Now you've done it Broflovski! He's gonna be all weird now!'_ he inner voice teases me.

Stan focuses on the snow covered pavement as he walks "Same here Kyle." He suddenly says. "I mean I like Wendy and all, but I really miss just the two of us being together." He pulls on the corner of his hat almost as if he's trying to hide his face out of embarrassment. But I'm probably just over thinking. I shouldn't get my hopes up since he probably was just trying to fix his hat because it was crooked or something.

Right?

As we enter Stan's house he suddenly goes quiet. A bit too quiet for Stan. But then he turns around and smiles at me. "Kyle. I'm going to New York University with Wendy! It's all thanks to your tutoring! I was going to tell you later but I'm too happy!" he exclaims excitedly.

Before I can even process the information I was receiving he pulls me into a hug. So that's why Stan came to me in such a panic to tutor him. So that's why he worked so hard.

All for her.

"L-let go of me..." I whimper quietly.

"Huh? Kyle, what's the-"

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I shove him off and before I knew it I am dashing down the sidewalk with tears blurring my sight. But I don't care. I don't care where I am running towards, I just wanted to be away from him. My super best friend. For once in my entire life I wanted to be AWAY from my super best friend.

There's definitely something wrong.

* * *

TBC


	2. Sociopath

2.

Sociopath

**Stan**

What in the world just happened?

One minute I was telling Kyle how happy I was about my acceptance into university and the next, he shoves me off and runs away!

I shouldn't have told him. I knew there was something wrong going on. Ever since I asked him to tutor me he's been distant. It was almost as if he didn't trust me or better yet, like he didn't think I was capable of his level of intelligence. His constant sarcastic remarks and frustrated sighs were enough to give away his annoyance. But I didn't care. I was willing to endure whatever ridicule that came my way to show Kyle that I was just as worthy to be successful and not remain 'the dumb jock' for the rest of my life. Wherever I go and who ever I meet I am always looked down upon. The only reason I even get a bit of respect out of this poor excuse of a town is because of my talent in sports. The damn talent that brought our high school up in ranking in Colorado. But I don't want to be trapped in that label forever. I want to prove to myself that I can get into university and not hold myself back by going to a community college. Until I can prove myself worthy, I can't tell Kyle how much I've always loved him. The fact that I can't even break up with Wendy shows how weak I still am.

But that hope of ever telling Kyle how I feel seems to be lost.

The way he ran out like that...Could it be that he's upset that we won't be in the same university? Or maybe he's just fed up with me setting myself up for failure. Or worse yet, maybe I'm holding him back?

I hear a knock on the door and it pulls me out of my thoughts. For a second, it occurs to me that it might be Kyle so I practically dash towards the door and swing it open as fast as I can. But to my dismay it was only a familiar blonde with his trademark orange parka standing there with a smug look on his face.

"Yo!" he grins.

"Oh, hey Kenny.." I step aside to let him in. To be honest, this isn't the best time to have company but I can't just kick him out.

"So how's it going?" he asks as he unzips his jacket while kicking off his sneakers.

"Oh...uh...fine. Fine. Everything's just fine." I lie. The last thing I need is for my friends to get involved with my own personal problems. The last time that happened it almost ended with Kyle killed by Cartman. Stupid fatass.

"Then can you explain why a certain Jew ran into me with tears in his eyes from your house and when asked what was wrong said Jew pushed me into oncoming traffic that almost got me killed (again)?"

Oh crap.

Well, it's obviously too late to continue my lie. With the way he's staring at me so intensely is enough to make me succumb to my fears and crack. Kenny may seem like a perverted laidback kind of guy, but when he's serious he means business. Especially if there's a possibility that one of his best friends might be hurt. He cares way too much.

He steps closer to me with that intense look still locked on. "Stan, what happened between you and Kyle?"

I can tell that it is more than just friendly concern on Kenny's part. He wants to know because he wants to help. I fidget my fingers and drop my gaze to the side, not knowing how to go about explaining this to Kenny without it sounding like some kind of domestic spat. "I...er..." I stumble with my words. Dammit, that look isn't exactly helping me compose myself enough to gather comprehensible words.

"For fuck sakes, Stan! I know you two had some kind of fucking marital spat! I just want to know what exactly happened! Jesus!" he flung his arms in the air with frustration as he sighed.

Goddamn him.

"I-I told Kyle that I was going to New York University and he ran out crying...happy?" God, that sounds so fucking gay, even for me, being apparently the most sensitive one out of the four of us.

"Uh huh. I knew it was some kind of domestic fight." He shrugs as he makes himself comfy on the couch, propping his feet onto the coffee table. I'm going to have to wash that later before my parents get home.

"Dammit, Kenny! What the hell is up with this 'marital' and 'domestic' crap you keep going on about!"

Kenny sighs "Oh for God's sake. Every time I bring up something about you and Kyle boning each other or having gay fantasies of one another in class you scream bloody murder even though you clearly want him...all for yourself." he smirks mischievously like the Cheshire cat in Wonderland. "Who knows," he continues. "for all that it's worth, it might have been all your fault that Kyle ran out crying like a little pussy today." He teases me with that smug look still wiped around his face.

Kenny never fails to anger me with his attempt to pry into my mind. He's like some kind of fucked up psychiatrist...no...more like a sociopath. Manipulative and cunning with a superficial charm (1) but then not exactly...because he cares. His capability to love and to care about his best friends is what distinguishes him from a sociopath. Or better, distinguishes him from Cartman. Kenny would not hesitate to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, but it's never at the expense of his best friends. He would never put his own interests ahead of us. THAT is what separates him from being a full-fledged sociopath. Rather, he would helps us at the expense of those he could care less about. I guess it would be appropriate to say that he would not hesitate to kill for our sake.

With that I pull Kenny up by the collar of his shirt. I glare at him but it doesn't faze him the least. He just continues on with that stare looking into me with an 'I've already figured you out way before you've even figured yourself out' glint in his eyes. But on the inside I know that this is just one of the ways Kenny forces me to talk, making me be honest not only with him but with myself as well. Like that other time when Sparky died, I refused to talk to anyone or show my devastation. All I did was act normal and masked my sadness with cheerfulness. It was all going well with no one really noticing anything-not even Kyle. But Kenny saw through me and refused to let it go until I was able to recognize what I was feeling and stop ignoring it. I can still remember the words that knocked me out of my daze and the serious tone he had when he said: _"Yeah, I'm so sure Sparky would really love watching you star in your own melodrama and make a total ass out of yourself in front of the people that care about you."_ Eventually it ended with him receiving a few punches to the face and with me bawling in his arms afterwards about how much I missed my most cherished companion.

But he cared.

Despite his harshness. He cares...a lot. And like I've said a million times, he can figure me out way before anyone can. The mentality of a sociopath is complicated...

"Face it, you're a coward, Marsh." He looks away almost with disappointment in his eyes. The same look he gave me the year Sparky died. Overrun with guilt, I loosen my grip and he relaxes. "Look, all I'm saying is, stop trying to impress Kyle and just tell him how you feel already. I'm sure he likes you the way you are."

My head shots up to meet his eyes. "Wait! How do you..?"

Kenny bursts in laughter and smacks my back. "Seriously? You seriously need to ask me such an obviously question. Good lord! I think you and Kyle are the only ones completely oblivious!" Kenny places a friendly arm around my shoulders, like one does when giving coaxing advice. "Stan, my man, let me just run through only a couple out of the hundreds of examples that are just screaming 'GAY' in my head right now."

I swallow hard as I wait for the possible embarrassment on my part that is about to take place.

Kenny holds out one finger "One. Just the other day when Kyle was going on about whatever the fuck the teacher was talking about in Biology. You laughed like an idiot and constantly said 'Uh huh,' 'I know,' and 'I totally get what you mean dude' even though you didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. Plus, you couldn't stop staring at his lips."

My face reddens like a beet. "What? How the hell did you know I was staring at his lips?"

Kenny taps the tip of my nose with his finger. "I don't. I lied. But now I know." He smiles sweetly to mask his sinister nature. Damn him, again.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU TRICKED ME!" I yell but he cuts me off again.

"Two. Last week while we were waiting for the bus, Wendy was talking to you. BUT you were barely paying attention and spent the entire time staring at Kyle's ass. His ass, Stan! I'm sorry to tell you this but even Cartman knows. Hence, why he's always calling you two fags."

"Okay, okay, no more." I wave my hand in front of his face to show defeat. "So now that you've proved how obvious my feelings for Kyle are, I don't see how this is going to help me with my problem of making him 'cry like a pussy,' Kenny."

"I'm just trying to prove that you don't need to hide your feelings for the guy, dude. I mean, just tell him and save yourselves from all this drama, okay?" he says sympathetically. Sympathy. Something I can always count on Kenny for since he's been through his fair share of shits. It's as though he feels the same pain as I am feeling even without having experience the same situation. He just...understands.

I smile at the blonde. "Thanks, man."

"No problem. Just keep in mind that no matter how dumb or how much of a fucking pervert you are, he'll accept you no matter what if he feels the same way as you do. Kyle's not the type to do that. So you don't pressure yourself to impress him with all this New York University shit, alright?"

"Gee, thanks Kenny." I say sarcastically at the previous insults at my intelligence and my sexual behaviour.

"You're welcome. I'm always here for a buddy!" he smacks my back hard making me cough. I couldn't help but laugh at this. Kenny's right, if I tell Kyle why I'm aiming for N.Y.U he'll understand and I'll also find out how he feels about me too. I mentally smack myself for not considering this sooner. I was so held back from my fear that the thought of just telling Kyle the truth didn't even register.

"I'll go tell him right now!" I shift to the side getting ready to leave the couch and make my way to go after Kyle. But Kenny grabs my wrist and stares at me seriously.

"Look dude, I don't think it's such a good idea to run into this without breaking it off with Wendy first."

Wendy! Oh God, I completely forgot about her. "Yeah, I forgot. Dammit..." I grumble to myself.

Kenny eyes me and then sighs sympathetically. "I would offer to break it off with her for you, but that would be a dick move. As much as I don't like her, even she doesn't deserve to be dumped through her boyfriend's best friend."

I wince at his statement. "I've told you before Kenny, please stop referring to me as Wendy's 'boyfriend.' It makes me feel awful for lying about my feelings for her all these years."

Kenny waves a hand at me "Yeah, yeah. And you also don't want to come out as the bad guy in this relationship because she's still a good friend and blah blah blah."

Kenny has always told me to just break everything off with Wendy if I stopped liking her but I never had the courage to. But I never knew that he was aware WHY I didn't love her anymore. I intended to keep that exclusively to myself. At least I thought I could have. Who knew that the way I felt towards Kyle was so obvious to everyone. Well, obvious to anyone who isn't him. But I think there's more towards Kenny's disapproval to my relationship with Wendy. Whenever she's around us Kenny always looked cynical, almost like there was something that he figured out about her that even he is unable to express because it would cause a lot of hurt if the secret was revealed. But out of all the times I've spent with Wendy I've never seen anything detestable about her. Despite the fact that I no longer love her the way I used to, she's a really good friend to have. She's always there when I'm in a pinch and is always willing to land a hand. Perhaps Kenny just doesn't like her. Maybe their personalities just clashed?

"Well, you better get your act together. Don't forget about our graduation dance tomorrow."

I raise my eyebrow "Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing. Except for the fact that you're going with Wendy." He says casually as he gets up to leave.

"Oh shit! What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't be thinking about my own stupid problems right now! I have to make sure I don't fuck up her night." I fumble while I attempt to process all the things that just went on.

"Dude! You're still going with her after all the shit we just talked about?" he raises his voice in disbelief. I don't blame him though. If it were me I'd probably be yelling at myself too.

"What the hell do you suggest I do? I already agreed and if I blow it off the friggin' night before she'll kill me!"

"Then let her!"

"I'm sorry to inform you Kenny, BUT NOT EVERYONE COMES BACK LIKE YOU DO!" I counter his argument, resulting in an exasperated 'good grief' from him.

I slump down on the couch in defeat. "I'm royally screwed. I pissed off the one I love and am forced to go to a dance with the one I...well...don't love!" I pinch the bridge of my nose the way I normally do when frustrated. A habit I've continued over the years. All this because I was too much of a pussy to tell Kyle.

Kenny places two reassuring hands on my shoulders. "Get get ready for the dance tomorrow and leave everything to me. I'll take care of it. Trust me." He smiled warmly at me.

"Why are you so intent on helping me?" I ask suspiciously.

"You're one of my best friends first of all. And I'm also curious of how this will play out." He smiles slyly. "So I guess you can say I have my own selfish reasons too."

I knew it. That sociopath bastard.

"Well, I gotta get going I don't want the wife to be on my ass again. Be ready for tomorrow okay?" he puts on his jacket and gives me one last smile before he heads to the door. Maybe not a smile but more like a smirk. An evil smirk to show that by the end of all of this someone is going to get fucked over.

"Alright. See you tomorrow." I wave at him as he steps out my door to leave. Kenny winks at me and immediately I know that he's up to something. But not exactly something bad. Something...sly. He knows something that I don't and right now all I can do is wait. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to break up with Wendy AND tell Kyle how I feel on the same night.

Yeah right. Maybe in a perfect world.

Life sucks.

* * *

(1) Description of a sociopath .

I know, the way I depicted Kenny as a special kind of sociopath may not be accurate but it is all just to make him more appealing in the fanfic. It's nothing more than a superficial quality. So please no rude remarks about it.


	3. Goodbye To You

Chapter 3

Goodbye to You

**Kyle**

I haven't been out of my room since. Even when my mom constantly knocked on the door to beg me to come eat I refused her and stayed in my room, wallowing in my own goddamn misery. A misery that I didn't think my own best friend would cause me.

I bury my head into my not so comfortable pillow and try to forget what an idiot I am. All this time I've been helping him get closer to Wendy while thinking that he actually wanted to work hard and get into the same university as me. I thought that if he couldn't love me the way he did with Wendy then he would at least be close to me while she was away and we'd still share our super best friend relationship that's only exclusive to us. But he wanted her. He wanted to endure any kind of torture required to get into N.Y.U for her and I was such a fucking idiot for being taken in by him.

I cry for the fifth time since I crashed in my room and it doesn't seem to be helping me. It's only making me feel worse by reminding me over and over again of what I don't have with every tear that falls out of my eyes. Reminding me that the only reason why I'm crying is because I don't have Stan by my side. Reminding me that after this month I won't see him like I did before. I will lose Stan to Wendy for good.

The pillow soaks up my remaining tears and dries my face. I groan at the discomfort and slowly sit up from my bed while glancing at the clock on my nightstand that's currently flashing 8:00 pm. It is then I realize that I've been in my room for five hours straight...crying.

Pathetic.

Pathetic for the fact that I even considered a chance of Stan and I being together. I should have known by our opposite personalities that we would not mix. He's always so lightheaded and sensitive while I've always got my nose stuck in a book and a bit on the tense side. People say opposites attract but that's all just a bunch of bullshit to me. Being the logical person that I am, I don't think there are definite rules in love. It's more like a cruel game. There are those who lose and those who win. Simple as that.

Unfortunately, I'm one of those losers.

"Bubbalah! You have to come out to have something. You've been in there all day, Kyle." my mom calls out with light raps on my door.

I sit up in alarm at her sudden loud voice echoing from the other side of my door.

"Go away! I'm not hungry!" I shout back.

"Now young man don't you use that tone with me. You better come down here this instant!"

I hear her footsteps fading away and fall back onto my bed sighing. I can't even wallow in my own misery without interference. I can't catch a break can I?

The moment I close my eyes to rest, Stan's words continue to run through my mind like a broken record.

"_I'm going to New York University with Wendy..."_

My eyes well up in tears again as a familiar pang strikes through my chest again. It's like a twisting sensation that increases my pain with every twist. And to think, this pain is caused by the last person that I thought would hurt me. My best friend...no...my super best friend.

I shift to the side as an attempt to comfort myself enough to fall asleep until I hear a light tap on my window. I decide to ignore it thinking it's just the wind, but as the small raps continue I sit up with alarm, but who would be stupid enough to climb up to my window at night especially when you can't see shit at this hour and can easily fall off the narrow ledge?

"Hey!" comes a muffled voice on the other side of the window.

Someone as stupid as Kenny.

I quickly run towards the window to let him in out of fear that the bastard will die again this week except with it being my fault this time.

I pull him hard and he slides in on the floor with a loud 'thud' which would have looked amusing if I wasn't already in such a pissy mood.

He perks his head up and smiles. "So what's up?"

"What the hell are you doing climbing up my house?"

Kenny sits up and shrugs as if almost falling down from the third floor of my house was not a problem. But then again, it IS Kenny. He would have just been back next week anyways even if he did end up falling head first down on the ground.

"I just wanted to know if you're going to the grad dance with anyone." He brushes himself off.

Did he have to bring that up? Maybe I would be going in a perfect world where Stan and I are together. But seeing as how that's not the case, no I am not going with anyone.

"No I'm not." I reply flatly. "And frankly I'm not planning on even attending all together." I add while crossing my arms to let him know that I'm being serious.

His eyes me with no surprise. It's almost as if he's saying through his look that it was something that he had expected me to answer. He chuckles and fingers his hood while looking at me.

"What?" I ask him out of annoyance.

"Wanna come to the dance with me then?" he smirks.

I roll my eyes at him "I just told you that.."

"But of course you'd only be missing the best celebration before we all go off to university if you decide to pussy out of it." he interrupts as he steps in front of me.

"Kenny, that's kinda...." I blush out of embarrassment.

"Faggy?" he finishes the sentence for me .

"No. I was about to say 'weird'." I correct him. It's true, it would be weird if I out of the blue show up tomorrow night with Kenny after what happened between Stan and I, especially if we hang around with the rest of the gang. I can just imagine everyone looking at us with wonderment and asking countless questions about whether we're both romantically involved with each other or not. Besides, showing up with Kenny would also mean stirring up problems between him and his 'wife.'

Kenny laughs again and flops on my bed. "Don't worry about it. Just show up with me. We don't even need to be together the whole night."

I walk around my room and glance at my cell phone flashing that I had missed 35 messages. All from Stan.

"I don't know Kenny." I sigh again and started deleting the messages from my phone. Well, I guess I could go if I didn't have to be Kenny's 'date' since this is probably the last time I get to see everyone before we all move on. The last time I get to see Stan. It makes my heart heavy that I might not see him for a while since New York as far as hell from Colorado. Dammit, I feel like such an idiot for already missing him even though he's doing this all for Wendy. It would be a different story if we were together but had to maintain a long distance relationship because of our different paths or if one of us got accepted into the university we were both aiming and one didn't. All of that wouldn't matter and I would be justified to feel hurt because Stan would be doing all that work for me. But this situation is just too pathetic. I should be mad, not missing him when he could care less about me while focusing all his attention on Wendy. Regardless, I have nothing against Wendy at all, she's a great friend to have, but it's just all this time I thought Stan was working so hard because of me. His super best friend that he promised to go to the same university with since we were in grade school. Has he already forgotten that? Sure, N.Y.U beats South Park University by a shit load in terms of ranking, but we both promised each other. It makes it worse that he decided to tell me at the last minute too when there's no going back from applying at our respective universities. And that means...

...he'll be gone for sure.

I can feel my eyes glaze over while deleting my messages and I can also feel Kenny's eyes on me. I can tell he already knows that this isn't the best time to talk to me.

"I'll be by at six to pick you up." He mutters heading for the door. "Be ready by then." With that, he closes the door behind him.

I can hear a muffled surprise response followed by a greeting from my mom as Kenny's footsteps gets fainter. She must have noticed him right when he reached the last step. I can hear them chat for a while before the front door opens and then closes.

That Kenny.

He really doesn't care about the consequences for anything. Even when he decided to leave out my bedroom door he probably didn't even care that it would have looked a bit questionable to my mom that he came out of my bedroom without any explanation of how he got there in the first place. If it was Stan he would have jumped back out the window in fear that my mom would have thought we were 'doing' something 'inappropriate' in her words. Thus, I can't help but think that there's a motive behind Kenny asking me to the dance with him.

I sigh to myself and rest on my bed and cover my face with my pillow. I'm just thinking too hard again. It's Kenny for crying out loud. He just feels bad for me because he sensed there was something wrong. He's just a nice guy like that. Right?

I don't understand him.

"Kyle! Get down here young man. Your brother needs your help with homework!"

I growl and whip my pillow at my door. I ignore her and go back to my sulking.

What a lie to get me to come down. Ike's a fucking genius he doesn't need my help on homework.

Such bullshit.

**Stan**

I barely got any sleep the night before due to all the unnecessary worrying I did about tonight's graduation dance. Kenny said to leave everything up to him and didn't bother to tell me anything else afterwards. Even though I trust him, I'm a little worried that he might just do something that we'll all end up regretting. But if it'll give me a chance to talk with Kyle then I'm willing to take that risk.

I check my cell and Kyle still hasn't returned any of my calls. I guess it was a stupid move to call him after what happened. Of course he wouldn't answer his phone since I know I wouldn't if he pissed me off.

I check myself one more time in the mirror before making my way over to Wendy's. Ignoring the faint black rings that have formed under my eyes I deem myself acceptable and leave with my car keys. Taking a deep breath I start the car and drive to Wendy's house hoping that Kenny didn't do something to her as part of his plan to help me. I'm immediately relieved when I see Wendy stepping out of her house right when I pull up to her driveway.

Good she's alive.

I get out of the car "Hey." I manage to force a smile.

She runs to me with a hug and pecks my cheek. "You look a bit tired Stan." She touches my face with worry.

I manage to pull away from her and sidestep her grip to go back into my car. "Uh...yeah...I just couldn't stop thinking about you last night." I lie. I was thinking of someone but not her out of all people. I sit back in the driver's seat with her following in the passenger seat.

She beams at the comment "Oh Stan. You're so sweet." She smiles the smile that would have had my stomach churning up my lunch years ago. Unfortunately for her it died down over the years. But has transferred to Kyle instead when he gives me those smiles. Whenever he makes my heart pound I need to dash as far away as possible to vomit so he wouldn't question my odd behaviour. Old habits die hard I guess.

"Stan?"

"Hm?" I look up at Wendy with confusion.

"Are you okay with driving today?"

"Oh. Sorry Wendy." I finally start my car. I really should resolve this with Kyle. It's really making me lose focus on...well...my whole life.

We arrive at the same time everyone else is pulling up in front of the school. At least the school made some effort to decorate for the occasion with all the balloons and ribbons hung in front of the doors. As soon as I park I look around and notice Craig and his gang already heading in along with some of the girls in our classes. Our teachers are standing guard outside the entrance and checking everyone's passes while some are just walking around the area having idle chatter with other teachers. Overall, it was a typical scene outside a dance. Except...

...no Kyle.

I glance around to further search for him hoping that he's just engulfed by the big crowd of students but still find nothing. It couldn't be that he really decided to skip out on this did he? He already said he was coming before. Unless...

I feel a tug on my arm and notice that Wendy has locked arms with me and is snuggling really close. "Oh Stan. This is going to be such a magical night." she sighs.

"Maybe for you." I mutter but not loud enough for her to hear. I also look around for Kenny but he's nowhere to be found either. Did Kenny also decide to chicken out at the last minute of the dance even though he always has shown up to places that he promised to go. Much to my relief something catches my attention and I glance down the sidewalk and see Kenny with...Kyle? I take off my sunglasses to make sure that I'm not just seeing things through the dark lenses but I was right. Only he could have a mop of red hair so distinguishable even at such a far distance. But what were they doing together? Walking side by side to this dance? Is this Kenny's idea of a plan? To come to our grad dance with the person I wanted to go with?

Kenny is starting to irritate me no matter how well he means.

"Oh look Stan! There's Kenny and Kyle!" Wendy waves at them while pulling me towards the pair with her. Way to draw attention Wendy.

As we approach them, I keep my eyes on the ground to avoid Kyle's gaze. I don't think I can face him after our fight yesterday and I don't want to make him feel any worse than he already is. To be honest, I doubt he even wants to face me anyways, he made it pretty clear that he didn't want to be anywhere near me.

Kenny clears his throat as if he had picked up on the awkwardness between Kyle and I and we both look up without our eyes meeting, thankfully. "Well, don't you two look nice." Kenny compliments with especial attention on me as he looks back at Kyle.

"Yeah. You two look great." Kyle replies half-heartedly and the fact that I caused his discontent stabs me hard.

Wendy chats with Kenny completely oblivious to the silence between Kyle and I as we both stand as far away from each other as possible. For some reason we both come to the same conclusion that physically distancing ourselves would somehow makes things less awkward between us. I don't know what kind of logic is that but for some reason is seems reasonable for Kyle and I. I think Kenny is the only one that notices since every now and then he glances over at the two of us.

"Hey, Kyle we should start heading in, okay?" Kenny tells him after concluding his talk with Wendy with which she does the same and pulls me towards the entrance of the dance in the opposite direction as them. Before heading their own way, I feel Kenny placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder and then smiling at me. Immediately, I feel relieved and smile back to let him know that I trust him.

We all head in with Kenny and Kyle joining Craig's gang while Wendy pulls me over with the rest of her friends at the table near the center. Without knowing what the hell the girls are talking about I divert my attention to Kyle's direction and see him laughing along with Craig's gang. They all go quiet until Token says something funny that sends them all in an uproar of laughter again with Clyde laughing especially hard while patting Kenny on the back. Kyle suddenly blushes and that catches my attention.

Just what the hell are they talking about?

I grunt and stare at the middle of our table covered with bits of purple and pink confetti. I rest my chin on my hand and play with the bits of colour rather than listen to the girls bitch and complain about how this girl's dress is uglier than that girl's.

"What do you think, Stan?" Bebe winks at me suddenly.

I looked at her with the most confusion on my face. "What do I think about what?"

"About Wendy's dress! Isn't it just so much prettier than Heidi's? That girl's dress is just so last year, right?" she along with all the other girls look at me hopefully.

"Yeah. I guess?" I shrug.

"What do you mean 'you guess'?" Bebe raises her voice.

"Okay! Okay! Yes!"

I sigh in relief when the girls return to their previous conversation. Jesus, I can't catch a break anywhere.

Just as I was relaxing again, I jump with a poke from behind me.

"Kenny?" I say out loud.

"Hey Wendy, I'm gonna borrow your boyfriend for a minute, okay? I'll return him unharmed" Kenny smiles at the girls.

The rest of the girls giggle while Wendy just nods and send us off in order to return to their earlier conversation as quickly as possible much to my relief. I'll never understand why girls care so much about how other girls look.

"Oh thank God, Kenny. I was so bored."

"Don't relax just yet, dude. You're gonna talk to Kyle right now." He jabs my chest with a finger.

"What now? Isn't it a bit too soon?"

"How long do you plan on leaving this for?" he retorts. "Until you leave for university?"

That's right. After tonight, I'll be getting ready to move out to New York and then I probably won't be able to see Kyle until summer rolls around. I can't believe I almost forgot about something like that.

"Oh man..." I grumble.

"The guy probably won't talk to you if you asked him up front." Kenny pondered for a moment.

I roll my eyes "What? Then how do you expect me to even talk to him at all then?" I protest.

"But that's where I come in." He explains as we walk to the hallway where we are away from everyone. "Don't get me wrong Stan, he wouldn't have come if I didn't promise that I'd take him."

"Oh." So that's why Kenny showed up with Kyle. I guess it could have been problematic for us to talk if Kyle didn't show up at the dance.

Kenny elbows me and glances at his wristwatch. "You think you can stick around here for a bit?" he points at the spot we're standing on.

"Sure. I guess. But why?"

"I'm gonna try to get Kyle to meet you here. So don't run off."

"Wait-!" Before I can even react, Kenny disappears around the corner and heads back into the dining hall where all the students are. I slump back on the wall and groan as anxiety starts to kick in. The last time I felt this feeling was when Wendy broke up with me and dated Token instead. I remember I felt that nothing mattered anymore and completely shut out other people. Especially Kyle since he was the one that was most persistent out of everyone who wanted to cheer me up. Over and over again I told him to piss off but he just kept on coming back to knock me out of my daze. Now that I think back about it, I must have really hurt the poor guy who didn't want anything but his best friend to be back to normal. All the time I stayed in my selfish funk he was being anything but selfish all for me.

I can be such a dick.

This present feeling is now multiplied by at least thousand times along with my regret and is yanking at my chest. I have hurt Kyle before and for some reason I did something to hurt him again this time. I need to undo the shit that I caused even though it's either a win/win or a lose/lose situation here.

I chuckle to myself thinking how it's so funny that I was so heartbroken when Wendy kicked me to the curb for Token but now that I have her back I don't even want her anymore. Rather, I want my best friend more than anything.

Goddammit.

**Kenny**

This is going to be a pain.

Even after I told Stan that I'd bring Kyle to him, I still have to think of a way to actually get Kyle to meet him in the hallway. And fast too before everybody settles down enough to notice that Stan is missing. I thought everything would work smoothly but totally neglected the idea that Wendy is here with Stan. And sooner or later she's going to start looking for him and will get in the way of them having any kind of reconcilement. That's why I need to act fast. Fuck. I had such a good plan but now I have to resort to a shitty backup to compensate all because I forgot about Wendy.

I frantically search for Kyle and curse him for leaving the spot he was in before.

"Shit!" I practically yell when I bump into someone.

"Oh hi cutie we are you heading?" one of the Raisins girls wink at me.

I grab her shoulders "Porcha, have you seen Kyle? You know, Jewish with a huge ass mop of red hair?" I describe.

She thinks for a moment and points to the direction of where the drinks are "Over there, honey."

"Great thanks." I peck her cheeks quickly in which she swoons to and force my way through the crowd towards Kyle before her other friends come running at me asking for kisses like they did last week down at the club. I still regret that I stuck around and chatted after kissing her for getting me a drink. But what the hell, I am a nice guy after all.

I'm finally within reaching distance of Kyle and grab hold of his shoulder with which he turns around. There's something a bit off about him, he seems a bit out of it in terms of behaviour.

"Oh hey...Ken..."

"Er...come with me." I grab his arm and he stumbles a bit.

This isn't the time to be analyzing things when it's a beat-the-clock situation. Besides he'll probably be back to normal once him and Stan sort things out. And hopefully a certain pussy in the hallway can muster up enough balls to dump Wendy's ass after the dance of course. I can always hook her up with Cartman or something so there's no need to pity her. It's not like there isn't any sexual tension between the two anyways.

"Kenny? Where are we goin'?" he asks groggily. He must haven't gotten much sleep last night. All that crying must have drained him since he had already looked like shit when I paid him a visit yesterday. I wanted to say something but I had a feeling that he didn't want his mom barging in just in case he decided to bawl in my arms. Plus, he was likely worried about today as much as Stan was. Sorry Marsh, there was no way you could have hid the reason behind those black rings around your eyes from someone like me.

"The principle wanted to talk to you when she saw you walk in. Er...something about a scholarship?" I lie horribly. Usually I'm fine when lying but in this situation there really isn't time to think of anything good.

"Oh ok. Cool." He replies much to my surprise. I was prepared to bullshit my explanation until we reached Stan if he hadn't believe me and then just shoved him out in the hallway next to the guy when it was too late to turn back. That's strange, I guess he just doesn't have the energy to argue tonight.

We finally reach the corner where Stan is waiting on the other side and I grab Kyle and push him around the corner as hard as I could. He must have crashed into Stan because both groan quiet "ows" before acknowledging each other.

"K-Kyle..." Stan says again with a hint of nervousness in his voice. I roll my eyes and cannot believe the ridiculousness of him addressing his own best friend in a way one would address a complete stranger. I hear them talking quietly for a while but can't really make out what they are saying without moving closer and risk being seen. So I decide to stay in my position until they solve everything.

"Kenny?" my head turns around in alarm at the voice.

Shit! Wendy!

I grab her and cover her mouth with my hand making her squirm under my grasp with many attempts to bite my hand. I curse under my breath at the shitty luck tonight. Stan and I were probably gone longer than expected and his absence must have finally caught her attention enough for her to look for him. Why couldn't the girls have distracted her more with talks about Gucci fashion and all that shit?

"Quiet!" he whisper harshly in her ear.

I can feel her breathing quickening with panic. I don't blame her, if I were her I'd probably kill the person grabbing me. Thank God she's not the type who views killing as a solution to everything. She starts to calm down when she hears Stan's voice around the corner and begins to listen in curiosity. Her attention perks up when she also hear Kyle's voice responding to Stan.

"Kyle, will you listen to me?" Stan pleads desperately.

Kyle starts laughing loudly with sarcasm filling his voice. "Listen? Who th' hell do you think you are tellin' me to fuckin' listen?" he shoves Stan.

I take a moment to process Kyle's behaviour and a dreaded realization hits me hard. He was wobbly back there, he's slurring his words...and he's being more violent than usual.

Oh.

Fuck.

That fucking Craig. He must have snuck alcohol in and spiked the drinks. What fucking maturity. Only that bastard has enough balls to do something like that. Going on to university and he goes and sneaks alcohol into a fucking school with teachers everywhere. Shit, even I have more morals than that.

I start debating on whether I should step in before things get out of hand or let things play out and hope that Kyle will come to his drunken senses and work things out with Stan. Otherwise...I don't even want to think of that. I pray to God that nothing bad will happen. The last thing I need is to have this on my conscience all night long. Plus, the 'wife' would kill me.

"You kno' what Stan? Why did yo' even try to work so friggin' hard for university? You'll never make it in th' real world, you fuckin' dumbass! Shit, the only reason why you got into NYU 's cause of me and you burdened me so fuckin' much with your idiocy. So go fuck yourself asshole!"

At the same time as Wendy breaking free and giving me a good slap across the face, I hear a loud slam from the other side and footsteps stomping loudly away. Wendy runs to the other side calling after Stan to coax him while leaving me to deal with the drunken Jew.

I sigh and make my way around the corner to find Kyle holding a bloody nose while leaning against the wall. My anger fades when I see him in the condition that he is in; barely able to stand up and leaning weakly against the wall. I hear a couple of sniffs that I assume are the results of the blood running down his nose. But when he looks up at me I finally realize that he's actually crying. Crying really hard.

Instead of scolding him I wrap my arms around him to console him while trying to soak up the blood with my sleeve.

"You okay?" I ask.

"So was I convincing?" he suddenly whimpers.

I pull away just enough to see his face. "What are you talking about?" I touch his cheek to get him to relax.

"I know I might have over did it with the swearing and maybe my slurring was a bit inaccurate...shit I don't even know how it feels to be drunk... but I...I just couldn't distance myself from the guy without a reason." he chokes."I...I wanted him to be away...from me without it hurting." he continues in between sobs.

"Wait...you're not..?"

"No one can sneak pass security with alcohol, Kenny."

Oh.

Chapter 3-End

TBC

* * *

I bet you still don't know who Kenny's 'wife' is. There's probably a LOT of grammar/spelling mistakes. But I do not want to fix them. If you can spot them, let me know. Thanks. :)


	4. A Reason for Goodbye

A/N: I would just like to make it clear that I don't hate Wendy. :)

* * *

Chapter 4

A Reason for Goodbye

**Stan**

So it's true after all.

This whole time I've been trying so hard for him and all he did was see me as a fucking idiot. He had been looking down on me while I was trying so hard to show him that I'm just as capable as he is in getting into university. I never should have gone to him for help. I never should have put myself through all that hell to impress him. I never should have thought that there would have been something between us that was more than super best friends. And I never should have fucking fallen for him. I can't believe I let myself be blinded by such a stupid fantasy of him and I being together. I had thought that if I can be as good as him in everything I would be ready to start a 'real' relationship with him. Not like the one that I have with Wendy right now where it's just based on guilt on my part. Guilt from her doing more for me than I ever did for her. How can I possibly hope to be with Kyle when I can't even bring myself to tell Wendy that all the time we've been together I wanted Kyle to comfort me instead of her. But here I am sitting here crying my eyes out with Wendy comforting me and talking to me like I'm some little kid.

"Stan, please what happened?" she begs me to tell her as she rubs my back soothingly like she always does when I'm upset about Kyle.

"T-that's it...we're leaving tomorrow, Wendy." I say in between sniffs. This is just all I can take. I can't bear to be around Kyle anymore. I always had a feeling that he's been looking down on me but when he outright said it tonight it hit me hard that I've been denying reality all this time.

Wendy hesitates and brings my head to rest on her shoulder. "Don't you want to have a few days to say your goodbyes to the guys?"

"No! Screw them." I bury my head in her neck and sniff.

She continues to coax me by whispering that everything will be alright and that I shouldn't let these small things get to me. Small things? She clearly doesn't see how important Kyle is to me. She's too caught up in her own selfish fantasy of her being the only thing that matters to me to understand how I really feel about Kyle. Then again, if she knew she wouldn't be sitting here comforting me.

As we sit silently in the hall, I can faintly make out mine and Kyle's favourite song being played where all the students are. The song's chorus pulls at my chest after making me remember why we both decided on that being 'our' song in the first place. I remember that we decided how the song represented our friendship even though it meant more to me than it did for him.

"_Hey Stan, you're my wonderwall."_

_I stare at him in disbelief as I look up at him."Dude, doesn't that sounds a little gay?"I blush out of slight embarrassment and the fact that Kyle is oblivious to the undertone of his statement._

"_I don't think so. We're always there for each and stuff so I think this is 'our' song!" he plays around with his ipod._

_I can't help but smile. I know for a fact that he's just talking about our friendship, but to me that means a lot. So I guess it makes sense that this would be 'our' song._

"_Yeah, you're my wonderwall too, dude." I smile at him and lean on his backside as we both continue to listen to 'our' song._

"We don't have to stay, Stan. If you're that upset then maybe we can just head home for tonight."

That does sound like a reasonable solution but there are people in the school that I want to spend some time with before we head off tomorrow. Like Kenny and Cartman, not to mention Craig and those guys. I don't know if it was the end of middle school or right at the beginning of high school but our groups just merged together and we all became really close. Craig stopped being such a dick, well to us anyways, and the rest of his guys just kind of warmed up to us. And that is also how Kenny got close to his now beloved 'wife.'

"No that's fine, Wendy." I kiss her on the cheek. "I wanna hang with the guys before we go off. I'm sure you want to have your goodbyes with the girls too, right?" I say standing up with her.

"Are you sure, Stan?"

There it is again, her extreme concern makes my situation a whole lot worse for me. That unconditional love that just pulls at my guilt for being a selfish prick who doesn't care about her feelings for me. The least I can do is tough it out for the night so she can have a good time.

"Yeah, it's fine." I rub away the remaining tears on my cheek. "Just don't let the others know I was crying." I force a chuckle to confirm just how 'fine' I am.

Wendy eyes me with concern again and I avoid her gaze to lessen my guilt. She nods and decides not to question any further. "Okay." She smiles and takes my hand to head back inside.

"Actually you go on ahead. I gotta use the bathroom. I'll see you inside alright?" I break away from her hand and make my way to the bathroom. She gives a slight nod before going back in by herself.

I'm such a hypocrite.

I'm not going to the bathroom I'm going to look for Kyle. Before I walked off I heard Kenny approaching Kyle from behind and asking the typical questions you would ask someone that's upset. It was obvious that after Kenny shoved the guy in front of me he was still there around the corner. What a great plan, just shove both of your friends together and hope that they will make up while you're stilling standing nearby listening in on everything being said. What a great fucking plan Kenny. And here I thought he would have came up with something better and put more thought into it. But then again, it IS Kenny. The guy that never puts thought into anything until the consequences arise.

I look around the place that Kyle and I were at and see nobody. I curse under my breath and walk around some more hoping that somehow he would materialize out of nowhere. I shouldn't be caring but I just can't help being curious at whether he had really meant what he said or not.

I check the time on my watch and groan that there's still a long way to go before the celebration ends. I just can't believe that all of what just happened between Kyle and I took less than an hour when it felt like an eternity. Of course, torture would feel like it's longer than it actually is.

I take one last look around before going back in. Perhaps Kyle left with Kenny after all. That or they're back inside.

Just as I step inside and curse my luck I see them chatting with Craig and the others. Well, Kenny's the one that's chatting anyways, Kyle's not saying too much and only keeping his communication levels down to a few nods and smiles. I start to debate on if going over is a good idea especially after the obvious incident. Should I hang out with them or intrude on Wendy's time with the girls? Either option is weighed against me so I turn around. Maybe hanging out in the bathroom by myself isn't such a bad idea after all.

"Hey Stan! What are you doing standing there like a dork?"

I turn around and wave at Craig who I plan to give hell later. His voice was loud enough to draw the attention of the entire room let alone Kyle. Speaking of Kyle, who I look at and see that he has looked away and is pretending that there is something interesting in his drink. I approach them with the knot in my stomach getting worse with every step I take. My chest is pounding and I am wishing that I could just crawl into a hole and not come out until the dance was over.

I stop in front of them and freeze. There is no way that I can take that only available seat next to Kyle. No way in fucking hell.

"Comon sit you retard!" Craig pulls me down and I nearly fall next to Kyle on the seat beside him. Great.

"Where the hell have you been for the past hour? We all saw you come in but then you like disappeared." Craig asks practically accusing me of something suspicious.

"I...er...was in the bathroom fixing my hair. The damn thing just can't cooperate with me on special occasions." I lie through my teeth.

I hear Kyle give a scoff that practically screams "LIAR" next to me and I tense up. Looks like he doesn't want me here as much as I don't want to be here.

"Try using something called gel." Clyde muses and everyone chuckles. Except for Kyle.

"Yeah, ha ha... asshole." I roll my eyes at his oh-so-funny joke and try not to be reminded that I'm sitting right next to the last person I want to be near at the moment who is currently distracting himself by texting someone on his cell. Probably Ike.

"Um, hey! We're the only ones sitting here why don't we all join everyone else on the dance floor?" Kenny interrupts to cut in on the awkwardness that's probably obvious to the three of us.

"No way, man. I'm gonna pass" I tell him.

Kenny grins and pulls me up "Too fucking bad. You're dancing with me."

I pull back and glared at him. "Shouldn't you be dancing with your 'date' for the night?" I ask sarcastically and direct my look towards Kyle who in turns glares daggers at me.

"Stop being an asshole and common." he yanks me so hard that I stumble onto the dance floor.

"Would you let go of me?" I demand as I manage to rip my arm away from his grip.

Kenny pulls me close again and brings my ear to his mouth. "Look man, I'm just trying to help you out. You and Kyle over there are all awkward at the moment and I'm just trying to cut you two a friggin' break here."

"Yeah, and the awkwardness is no thanks to you!" I retort.

"I kinda forgot about her." He points towards the girls and immediately I know that he is talking about Wendy. "My original plan was to have the seating arrangements for you and Kyle switched to a table for two to give you guys a more 'romantic' atmosphere but your 'girlfriend' was latched onto you the whole time and I couldn't have done it without her leaving the two of you alone."

"So you shove Kyle in my face as a solution?"

"What the fuck was I suppose to do under five minutes? Besides I had to act quick before she found you two."

It's true she DID find us in the end. But that's beside the point since it still doesn't fix the problem between Kyle and I. He said what he said and that still doesn't change the hurt he brought onto me. To be honest I don't think I can even forgive him. What he said hurt. All my life I thought Kyle was the only one who thought differently of me and didn't judge me for the type of person that I am. But I guess I was wrong.

Kenny starts moving his body to the music and grabs me to dance with him. Unfortunately, it's a fucking slow song.

"Dude, comon, people are watching."

"Look, I feel like this is my fault." He begins. "But don't worry about Kyle ok?" he says as he leans against me and places my head on his shoulder.

"Kenny, seriously people are-."

"And I know I shouldn't interfere anymore but go talk to Kyle again. That's all I'm saying."

I look at him with surprise on my face. "Kenny if you know something please tell me."

"Nah, if something bad happens again I can't have it on my conscience the whole night." He smiled smugly. "Enjoy the night with all of us, Stan. We might not see each other for a while so don't worry about Kyle until after all this is over." He smiles at me and twirls me off to the side towards Craig and the others then disappears in the crowd of dancing people. Somehow this makes me feel somewhat better about the situation. Whenever Kenny has that reassuring smile it means that things will turn out from his perspective. And is he right about things all the time? No. But the hope he gives softens the blow when things don't turn out. It makes you realize that even though it didn't work out it's not the end of the world. If things are meant to be then they will turn out for the best even if the road leading up to it is bumpy no matter how long it takes. If not, then it'll make you stronger. Kind of like a learning experience.

"Hey did you have fun dancing with Kenny?" Craig comes up behind me and smiles.

"Oh piss off. Shouldn't you be off dry humping some slut?"

"That's rude. And you say I'm the dick." I takes a drink from my cup.

"Okay, then shouldn't you be off sneaking alcohol into the drinks or something?"

Craig rolls his eyes. "For fuck sakes, that was once and in grade nine. I'm not stupid enough to do THAT again."

"Tch. Yeah right." I believe him enough though. After getting nearly the whole school hammered and forced to practically be Mr. Garrison's personal slave as punishment was likely very traumatic. I doubt anyone is dumb enough to try something like that a second time. I think it was the first time I ever saw Craig cry.

Kyle's still sitting in the back with Tweek and Token chatting. He looks completely fine from here but I know he's not. I resist the urge to go up in front of him and tell him straight up that I know that he did not mean what he said. But like Kenny said, I'll wait till the end of the night when I can get away from Wendy. Right now would probably be too soon anyways, I'm still pissed off and he could probably use some time to cool off as well. When we talk I have to make sure to apologize for being a burden and show him how much I appreciate him helping me with school. Then...I'll tell him how I feel. And If he just wants to be friends then...I really don't know what I'll do.

Oh well, at least I would have tried.

I glance over to the side and our eyes meet briefly before we both turn away.

As the night goes by, there was a lot of bawling from my classmates about how they'll all miss each other. And I have to say, it is becoming a really emotional scene. But I noticed from what my sister said about her graduation is that the ones that are overly emotional are the ones who tend to totally forget about who they were crying over when they look back years later. I can't even count the number of people Shelly has cried over at home after the night of her grad and also how many times she has said "Who were they again?" after asked the whereabouts of her classmates. But the scene before me keeps reminding me that I'm going to be away from Kyle even though I shouldn't care after that nasty fight.

I sigh at the thought. I just don't get why he isn't happy that I was even able to make it into university in the first place. He's the one that told me that I could pass my tests if I put my mind to it. He's the one who said that I can get 'A's' on my assignments if I put enough work into them. And he's the one that he'll always be around to help me even if I do fuck up every now and then.

I clench my drink. I guess I shouldn't have a right to be angry at what he said to me. After all, I am the one who kept him up late at night because I couldn't get some of the math problems the teacher taught us and also the one who bugged him during finals week to help me study in something that he was having trouble with as well.

I guess I can see why he was mad. I didn't even show him appreciation and just abruptly blurted out that I'm going to N.Y.U. without as much as a thanks for him helping me.

Now I see.

I have to go find him.

**Kyle**

That look he gave me was heart wrenching.

I've never seen him give anyone that look before, not even Wendy when she broke his heart. With her, all he did was bitch about her for a week and gave everyone the silent treatment when he wasn't talking about her. But I knew he wasn't THAT hurt judging from the way he acted. Tonight was different though. It made what happened between him and Wendy a couple of years ago seem trivial. I was expecting him to punch me out the same way whenever we fight about something stupid or call me an asshole and then storm off. The second I saw him tearing up I was caught off guard. I knew I was going to anger him but I didn't know that I would hurt him like that.

But he's hurt me way more.

I want to push him away before he hurts me to the point of no return.

The years I had to put up with his relationship with Wendy and supporting them to fulfill my duty as a best friend. All the times I had to sit there and listen to him agonize over someone that wasn't me really hurt. I mean, realizing that the one you love cares so much for someone that isn't you really isn't the best feeling in the world. So enough is enough. I can't always be there for Stan as his support at the expense of my own happiness. For as long as I can remember I've always been there for Stan and practically went out of my way to keep him as happy as possible. All for what? So that he could go off and be with Wendy?

The dance is coming to a close and everyone's running around to say their final goodbyes to their friends before finally setting foot into the real world. It's funny that a couple of people that I never really talked to even came up and hugged me tearfully. I wonder if they will genuinely miss me or f they were doing it to keep up their appearance. It did make me feel a bit better though.

"You leaving soon?" Token asks me after saying his goodbyes to some girls that I've never really talked to either.

"I guess. I still gotta wait for Kenny though."

"Oh ok." He nods.

Speaking of Kenny I haven't seen him all night. He pretty much vanished into thin air after dancing with Stan and haven't reappeared since.

"I gotta get going. Clyde's having a party after this and he's invited the entire school." He sighs with exasperation. "Are you and Stan coming?"

"Uh...I dunno about Stan but I have to get home."

"I see. Well then, I hope we can hang out before we all have to get back to school." He pulls me into a hug and chuckles.

I smile back at him. "Don't worry. We're going to the same university." I laugh at his reaction.

"Yeah, well we only have a couple of months before we're stuck in school again. Be seeing ya." he breaks the embrace and goes off to find Craig and the others.

"Have a good night, Token."

"I hope things work out with you and Stan." He disappears out the door.

Are my problems with Stan that obvious to everyone?

A little over half an hour has passed and I'm still waiting for Kenny. I'm starting to wondering if I should go look for him or leave him alone since I really don't want to be walking in on something I don't want to see. I don't mind anyways, this is the first time since I got here that I'm able to have some time alone. I was always surrounded, if not by one person but by the other. Whenever one left another would appear in their place and start talking as if we had let off our conversation at some point.

I slump in my seat and grumble while fiddling with my cell phone to make myself look busy. I can't help but play over and over again the things Stan and I said to each other in the hall. It was like a blur but I know for sure it DID happen. What I said to him just gushed out of me so fast that I couldn't even stop myself to think things over. I couldn't even hear myself properly. It felt good at the time to hurt Stan as much as he hurt me but I just feel regretful after that.

I clench my cell phone shut and I try to suppress it but the effort is proving to be in vain.

"_K-Kyle!" he looks at me surprise when I crash into him._

_I groan as the impact leaves me with a sore forehead and also because I don't want to see him at the moment._

"_I-I'm so glad you're here. Look we have to talk about something..."he steps forward and I pull back with a grimace on my face._

"_Don't touch me..." I mutter._

"_What?" I can hear the panic in his voice. I can tell that he just wants to apologize for being a trouble for me during our tutoring sessions so he can go off to N.Y.U. with a guilt free conscience. _

_This angers me._

"_What do you want to talk about?" I manage to keep my cool for a second._

"_Look I know why you're mad. I'm sorry all this time I've been selfish and thinking only of passing everything without realizing how much trouble it is for you. If fact Kyle I really-."_

"_Stop right there."I cut him off. I knew it. The asshole just wants to live happily with his girlfriend without having to worry about me. In other words, he doesn't want the guilt of pissing me off to RUIN his time with Wendy. Now that I think about it, he doesn't want me interfering with his happiness. Even though all these years I would put everything aside to worry about Stan whenever he had a problem, he can't even bring himself to be concerned about me. _

_Fucking selfish asshole._

"_You know what Stan?" my voice hitches and he looks like he's ready to ask whether I'm okay or not. I feel my eyes warming up with tears. There's no way I will be able to say what I have in mind in this state. For sure, I'll start crying and then he'll feel even more obligated to comfort me or apologize. Not only that but it hurts too much to actually say something like this to someone who has been with me since childhood. I cast aside my emotions temporarily and hope that what I'm about to do can keep my emotions bottled up for at least another two minutes._

_I force myself to laugh obnoxiously loud which elicits a worried look from him. Possibly questioning my sanity at the moment. But I could care less, anything to drive him away from me._

"_Kyle, would you just listen-."_

"_Listen? Who th' hell do you think you are tellin' me to fuckin' listen?" I shove Stan backwards and he stumbles a bit. I'm starting to think that my drunken act might be a little overboard. I honestly don't know the first thing about being drunk but I've seen Stan and Kenny do it often enough for me to pick up a few things here and there. _

_I take the limited time that I have before I start bursting into tears to push Stan further. _

"_You kno' what Stan? Why did yo' even try to work so friggin' hard for university? You'll never make it in th' real world, you fuckin' dumbass!" I deepen my glare at him he starts to quiver his lips. One more push should do it._

"_Shit, the only reason why you got into N.Y.U. 's cause of me and you burdened me so fuckin' much with your idiocy. So go fuck yourself asshole!"_

_To my surprise, he doesn't punch or insult me back right away. He's just standing there and letting his tears stream down his cheeks. He whimpers something incoherent and I'm starting to feel myself break down from watching him fall apart in front of me. I just need to a few more seconds._

"_You're not my best friend anymore, Stan."I force myself to say those forbidden words out loud and I immediately start to hate myself or it._

_Stan slams me against the lockers and bawls in my chest. Faint pleads of 'why' and 'please stop messing with me, Kyle' can be heard in between his sobs. _

_I look away before I finally start to tear up as well. It hurts too much to see him in this pain. I restrain myself from wrapping my arm around him and tell him that I was indeed just joking and that in reality I really love him. I just...want to do that. But can't._

_I pull him away from me. _

"_Fuck off, Stan."_

_Stan clenches his fist and punches me straight in the nose. I make no effort to retaliate to something that I deserved anyways. _

"_FUCK YOU, KYLE!"_

_Rather than angry, Stan continues to look at me with those pleading eyes still expecting me to tell him that I didn't mean it. But when I make no effort to fulfill his wish, he storms off without looking back. The further he gets from me, the better anyways. _

"_I love you Stan..." I finally say to myself before succumbing to my emotions and flooding my eyes with tears. "I love you so much." I sob into my hands but he's already gone too far away to hear me. _

"_I love you..."_

I watch as Wendy approaches me with a smile. Probably wants to say goodbye. Either that or she's looking for Stan. I cringe at the latter thought.

"Did you have a good time Kyle?"

I hesitate to answer because she along with Kenny is fully aware at the earlier incident with Stan. It was hard not to figure out that she must have heard a great portion of our conversation to go after Stan the way she did when he stormed off. I just wished Kenny would have dragged her back into the dance instead of standing there with her.

"Somewhat." I say to make it obvious that we are both aware of what happened.

She nods in return and stands next to me. "Up for a walk?" she suggests.

"Sure, why not." I shrug. Kenny's probably going to be a while anyways doing whatever he's doing. It wouldn't hurt to get away from the booming music inside the dining hall.

We wander around the back of the school for a while in complete silence. Not an awkward one but more of a comfortable silence where we're both relaxing away from the loud music and just having some time to sort out our thoughts. Both our minds are likely on the earlier incident between Stan and I. It wasn't exactly something one would forget right away.

"Nice night isn't it?" she smiles into the night sky filled with the stars that are rare in South Park.

"Yeah. Sure beats having a freak heat wave in the middle of December like last year."

She chuckles at the memory. It was so hot that year that having even the tiniest bit of clothes on was torture, and my thick hair didn't exactly help either.

The thought makes a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. It was a memorable "winter" indeed. Aside from seeing Stan walk around his house half naked whenever we hung out we always did something fun with the guys. Whether it was spending our whole day at the water park or lazing around, it was all precious to me.

"I am going to miss those memories though." Wendy smiles faintly. "I mean we all practically grew up together."

There's something about her voice that tugs at my heart. I guess because it reminds me that her and Stan are going to be gone after tonight and I won't be able to see them the way I always did.

"Don't worry, you and Stan can still come back to visit us." I smile weakly. Here I am again supporting Stan and Wendy being together while I suffer.

I pull Wendy into a friendly hug to comfort her. She's still a good friend to me after all. "Don't worry Wends, it's not like we'll all fade away after you and Stan leave. We'll still be here when you two come back during the holidays."

Wendy parts slightly and smiles back at me. "That's sweet of you Kyle."

"Well I'm a sweet guy." I joke with her to lighten the mood a bit.

Wendy looks at me "I mean, you're so selfless all the time. You're always so worried about Stan. And he mostly runs to you to whine about his problems." Her face changes. " Now that I think about it he runs to you way more than me. In fact, I can't remember the last time he actually 'talked' to me."

"Er...I'm just trying to be a good friend. We are best friends." Maybe the word 'was' would have been more appropriate to describe our current relationship.

"I know, but you seem to really care for him. I mean he's always talking about you too."

I am taken back for a second. Stan talks about ME to his GIRLFRIEND? The very thought just astonishes me. I thought he totally forgets about my very existence in the presence of Wendy. I mean at least that what it seems like when we're both hanging. He's always talking about her too...oh. He talks about her to me as well. So I guess he's just the type that likes to talk about one person to the other. Besides, he's always bitching about Wendy to me so I wonder if he complains about me to Wendy as well.

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up for that brief moment.

"I mean he talks about you as if he..." she stops.

"As if he what?" my voice hitches as if we've reached the climax of an epic story and are waiting for things that will be a big part of the story to unfold themselves.

"...Kyle is there something between you and Stan?" she asks with devastation.

The guilt inside me makes me grab her arms to prove that what I'm about to say is the truth and nothing but the freaking truth.

"There's absolutely nothing between Stan and I, Wendy." I grip her shoulders a bit too hard. "I-in fact, I honestly don't think there ever will be. W-we're both guys, that's gross." I force myself to sound as convincing as possible. The last thing I need is to lose a friend over something stupid like this. That, and I also don't want to be reminded of what I can't have. It just wouldn't be right to fight Wendy for Stan. I just can't break them up so I can just have a chance with him based on his relationship status. Now if he felt the same about me...then that would be different...at least I would be justified to break them apart. Not that I haven't fantasized about doing that before.

"I-I don't love him." I repeat again to make sure she hears me correctly. "You and Stan have a good life in New York." I change the topic and force a smile on my face.

"There you go again worrying about mine and Stan's wellbeing." She smiles.

Alright, now I'm a tad confused. Was she not just interrogating me about some possible involvement that I might have with Stan? Or is she worried that I might be too selfless and stressing out over other people's problems?

"I'm relieved that you're just worried about both Stan and I rather than...just Stan alone."

"I understand." I nod. "But don't worry I have no intention of taking Stan from you. I worry because you're both my friends." I reassure her once again and give her a friendly pat on the shoulders. I'm not lying entirely, it is partly true.

"No! Kyle I don't think you understand!" she pulls on the front of my dress shirt.

Now I am definitely confused as fuck and I apparently express it quite visibly since her face drops in disappointment that I don't understand what she's talking about. I rack my brain to try and figure what I am missing from the big picture. Had she said something before and I somehow missed it? I could have sworn that I was paying full attention to her like I always do when I talk to people especially if it's something as important as the subject we're on right now.

"Wendy, what are you talking about?"

"You're missing the big point Kyle."

I break eye contact with her and look at the surrounding area pointlessly, trying to find some answers to this difficult riddle.

"B-but, that IS why you're relieved right? The fact that I'm not having some affair with your boyfriend? That IS what most girls would be relieved about isn't it?" I protest in disbelief showing my frustration that there might be something that I don't know about my super best friend. That there might be a possibility that he's hiding something from me.

"Kyle. I'm happy you don't feel for Stan because I don't want you to think about anyone besides...me."

Wait...what?

She takes my face in her hands affectionately. "Kyle, I love you and I don't want anyone else to come between us. Not even Stan."

Wait...what?

"Please understand how I feel. It wasn't fair that Stan got to have you all for himself. It's ridiculous that I barely got to spend time with you except at the beginning of classes in the morning."

Wait...what?

Wendy moves closer to my face. "And because of that, you didn't even realize how I feel about you." She brushes her pink lips against mine.

WHAT?

I immediately pull her off of me. This can't be right. This can't be fucking right at all. I...I...

"Wendy please tell me you're fucking with me. It's not funny." I wipe my lips. Stan hates me enough as it is, I don't need him to think I'm trying to steal his girlfriend as well. I'll look like the world's biggest douche. Then he'll definitely won't want anything to do with me anymore.

"I'm not joking! You would have known this earlier if it weren't for Stan!"

"Stop saying that! Stan didn't do anything!" I yell back at her, furious that she would blame Stan for this happening. "I...just...stop."

Wendy pants as she's out of breath from all the yelling as well. "I can't help how I feel Kyle."

"Then why the hell didn't you break it off with Stan earlier! For fuck sakes, you both are going to be leaving tomorrow AND living together in New York!" I just can't believe she would do something like this at such a time. At least if she had told Stan sooner he wouldn't have to work his ass off to get into N.Y.U.

"I had my own reasons!"

"That's no answer, Wendy!"

"I wanted to keep him away from you alright? I just can't stand how he latches on to you like a leech. Every time he has a problem he goes crying to you and won't leave you the hell alone! And when that happens both of you guys ditch me to go off on your own. Do you know what they say around the school Kyle? Everyone thinks that you both are seeing each other behind my back! Everyone feels SORRY for poor little me! That their president of the school was dumped for a boy! Now do you know why I did it?"

I can't believe what I'm hearing. This all seems like a horrible dream except I'm the bad guy here. I'm going to be the one who gets fucked over at the end while justice is restored to those who I have wronged.

"Then why go to New York with Stan when you don't even want to?" I ask defeated.

"I'm not going."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and breathe loudly. "Goddammit Wendy...what the fuck are you planning?"

She just looks away and doesn't say anything to me.

"Stan doesn't know does he?"

Wendy shakes her head in response and for a second I stop breathing. So Stan doesn't know that she's not going with him to New York.

"How could you do something like that Wendy? That's not like you..."

"Then you must see how much I'm willing to do to be with you." She protests then she grabs my hands. "Stan doesn't need to know about us. It's already too late to change his mind about N.Y.U. so he won't be able to bother us."

I shake off her grip on me in disgust. I can't even look at her right now let alone touch her. She's always been so nice and considerate to others and the possibility that that could all have been an act angers me. The fact that she is doing this to my best friend angers me even more. H-he's completely oblivious to all of this and he's being lied to with me involved.

"You are unbelievable Wendy..." I grumble at her in the most angry tone possible. I hate her. I hate her with every fibre in my body. And yet, I'm hesitant to do anything because she is one of my good friends and I also cannot do anything that'll hurt someone that Stan cares about.

I've had enough.

"I don't want to deal with this Wendy. I'm sorry you're going to have to tell Stan."

"Wait does that mean-?"

"No Wendy. You're a friend, okay?"

Wendy drops her gaze in disappointment. "I-it's Stan right? You don't feel right about getting involved with his girlfriend, right?" she asks hopefully.

"I can't say that's not partly the reason. But that's not how I see you okay? You've always been a friend to me and always will be. And also...never mind." I shake my head.

Wendy bites back her lower lip and her eyes water. "I see..." she mutters "But give it a little time and we'll..."

"No!" I shake her. "I don't love you and what you did to Stan is awful!"

Wendy wraps her arms around me tightly "You don't understand, Kyle. I've always loved you but you were so preoccupied with Stan to even notice me! You and I are the same and the rest of the guys won't understand us." She pleads.

"No I'm not the same as you...I wouldn't do what you did to Stan."

"Do you love Stan?"

I pause. I don't how many times I've been asked this question but every time I would deny it to avoid trouble. But right now I don't even know if I should come clean so she can back off or keep quiet so Stan doesn't lose the one person he cares about more than anything in the world. If I was a complete dick I would flat out tell her so her and Stan wouldn't have any chance of getting back together. But then I wouldn't be any better than her because that is what she did and is doing to Stan and I. I can't hurt Stan for my own selfish reasons, I want them to at least try to put all this crap behind them and have a chance to work things out.

"No. I already told you. I don't love Stan at all."

Wendy just stares at me and it's making me uncomfortable. I almost forget that her arms are still around me and before I can pull her away, she pulls me closer and locks lips with me.

My whole body freezes, unable to process anything going on at the moment.

"_This is wrong! This is wrong!"_ my mind screams but I can't seem to move.

Finally, I struggle with her to get away but the grip she has on me right now will make it impossible for me to force her off without hurting her. I would shove her on the pavement but I'm too much of a pussy to hurt a friend. Well, unless it was Cartman.

"I can't believe you two."

I'm immediately relieved when Wendy pulls away before she can stick her tongue further down my throat. I turn around to praise whoever it was that saved me but dread hits me the minute I meet eyes with him.

"So that's how it is, huh?" Stan sarcastically mocks.

It's evident that I'm not the only he's pissed at as he glares at Wendy too. He walks up to us and shoves me to the ground.

Why the hell is he so mad for? If he heard the whole conversation than he must have heard me say that I don't like Wendy at all. For crying out loud I said it more than once to her. Unless...

"So you two were planning on running away together after tonight or something?" he hisses.

He must have walked in on us near the end of the conversation. Wendy! Is that why she suddenly kissed me?

"You just can't leave us alone can you Stan? You always have to latch onto to him like some little kid!"

"Some little kid? What about you? You always bitch at me for the smallest things!"

Just what is happening?

Just a couple of hours ago Stan and Wendy looked like the typical happy couple spending their last night in town with their friends before heading out to the real world. But now...it's like things took a 360 turn for the worse.

Their arguing becomes louder and louder and I'm tempted to cut them off before someone nearby notices us.

Wendy fumes angrily. "You're always in the way!"

Stan stops. She must have hit a nerve with what she said because now he's quivering. Ironically, like a child.

"I see so that's how you two feel..." he chuckles.

What?

Stan turns around to leave without as much as a word.

"Stan, wait!"

Stan elbows me hard and almost knocks the wind out of me. I cough and fall to the ground again as he glares down at me with tearful eyes. "Just fuck off, Kyle. I never want to see you again."

I cough a few times in pain. Shit, he really is strong.

"Kyle! Are you okay?" Wendy kneels down next to me and helps me up.

"Stan! Stan..! Wait!" I look up to find him.

"He's gone, Kyle."

* * *

Chapter 4-END

TBC


	5. Meant To Be Or Not

Oh God...I am so tired from editing this. There's probably still spelling mistakes and grammar problems but whatever. Enjoy. And like I said, I don't hate Wendy :)

* * *

5.

Meant To Be Or Not

**Kenny**

"_Just promise me you won't tell Stan why I did it."_

"_But-."_

"_Promise me, Kenny."_

Why the hell did I make that promise? If only I had just dashed off without saying anything then I could just tell Stan what the hell was going through Kyle's mind when he acted 'drunk'. But now, if I told him I would be breaking a promise to Kyle. And I never break promises as stupid as that sounds in this kind of situation.

The majority of the student have already started to leave since apparently there's going to be a killer party after this. I'm not the one who misses a good party but I have somewhere else I need to be tonight. Two of my fucked up friends really need comforting now and I'm not leaving them. The only thing I need to figure out is how I'm going to comfort them separately.

Kyle's first though. It's only proper to walk my 'date' home after coming asking him to come here with me in the first place. He better appreciate this, I even had to send my wife home early just so I can walk Kyle home.

I spot Kyle and Wendy together in the parking and approach them. I get a bad feeling as I watch Wendy console a what looks like an injured Kyle on the ground.

I jog up the them. "Dude, you alright? You weren't actually drunk were you? Were you mugged?" I crouch over Kyle to make sure he wasn't stabbed or something bad like that.

Kyle glares at me and holds his stomach. "No." He mumbles angrily at me bombarding a person in pain with annoying questions.

"Stan and him kind of had an argument." Wendy tells me.

Oh I see, so what it was that. I have an idea what the fight was about but I wonder what exactly took place. What the hell did Kyle say to Stan that set him off this violently? And more importantly, why the fuck is Wendy here? She better not have something to do with this. I guess it was a mistake to think that giving them some time apart would let them cool off enough to not react like THIS as soon as they saw each other.

"Uh...what exactly happened though?" I ask with confusion obvious on my face as I help him sit back a little.

"It's none of your business, Kenny." Wendy whines.

Bitch. This is the exact reason why I don't mix well with her. She's totally hot and all but when she opens her fucking yap and goes all 'we must do the right thing' on people, I would rather rip my fucking balls off then go anywhere near her vagina.

I glare at her with the most dirty look I can muster up. "As a matter of fact, I need to take Kyle home so if you don't mind."

Wendy takes a hold of Kyle's arm to help him up. "Look Kenny, I can take him home. He needs someone to talk to and plus Stan went home already so I-."

"Bebe's still back in," I take Kyle from her hold and support him using my shoulder. He does nothing to resist and I could have sworn he looked relieved for a second. "see you, later ho."

"KENNY! Wait..Kyle!"

"Just leave it Wendy!" Kyle snaps and surprises her and I. Now DEFINATELY need to know what the hell happened between them. I start to walk slowly with Kyle, making sure he doesn't collapse and hit his head off the pavement. This slow pace should give us plenty of time to talk about what happened.

"You okay, man?" I try to sound as casual as possible.

"Not really."

Of course he wouldn't be okay, so why was I expecting him to say otherwise. I sigh and immediately feel stupid for asking the obvious.

"Yeah...you mind telling me what happened?"

He struggles for a moment but then answers. I can tell the poor guy is trying his best to force the story out even though he doesn't want to talk about it. His trembling voice gave away his feeling of wanting to burst into tears any moment not from the pain Stan dealt him earlier. So I carefully listen to his story and try not to say anything that might push him over the edge.

"So that's it." He finishes. "Ow..." Okay, so maybe it did have a little to do with his pain.

"I see."

"Yeah, it's pretty fucked up." He coughs.

"Wow, I had my suspicions about the way you feel about Stan, but I just didn't want to say too much without making sure. And plus the thing with Wendy...holy fuck." I almost chuckle. This would be a pretty entertaining way to end off the year if my two best friends weren't the victims in this matter.

"Yeah, don't remind me." Kyle groans.

"No, don't you see Kyle? Stan feels the same way!" I shout happily and he stumbles a bit.

Kyle looks at me angrily. "Dude, seriously. It's a little too late to give me false hope."

"I'm not! Do you know WHY he worked so hard to get into N.Y.U.?"

"To be with Wendy?"

"No you fucking dildo! The retard wanted to impress you. Don't you get it? Look, I know it completely sounds stupid. Well, it is Stan after all. Shit, it even sounded stupid the first time he told me, but it was some kind of personal thing with him. Something about not being able to tell you how he felt until he was mature enough to take responsibility of what happens after." I exclaim excitedly. "I guess getting into one of the best universities is his way of proving he's mature enough."

Kyle is speechless and continues staring at me with astonishment. "Kenny, you better not be lying about this."

"I'm not! Look, go see him before he leaves and tell him everything!"

Kyle face changes entirely. What was once a look of hopelessness and despair turned to hopeful and content. His spirit is immediately lifted as he turns to me and smiles.

"Thanks, Kenny." His smile shifts back to agony as another swarm of pain pulsed through his injury.

Now I get it.

All this time that I've been 'interfering' with their love life, nothing but bad things have resulted. I'm not the superstitious type nor am I the type that believes fate controls the outcome of everything we do, but I'm beginning to take it as a hint that another person's help isn't what their relationship needs. It's not my job to play cupid or whatever in this situation to bring them together. They need to realize on their own. Yeah, now I get it. My role is to actually step out and join the rest of our friends in the background and watch how this story between my two best friends unfolds.

I give him a playful nudge to the side. "Hey, that was the last thing I'm doing for you and Stan though from now on."

"What do you mean? You're not gonna die again are you?" he asks with confusion.

I laugh loudly. "No! I mean I don't want you and Stan's relationship to be built with the help of a third person. Something like this should be built by the two of you. So I don't want to interfere anymore."

"But you're not interfering."

"That's not the point." I shake my head. "If you two don't learn to work things out and strengthen your bond, what are you gonna do when you guys face worse problems in the future?"

Kyle goes quiet for a moment and ponders. "Since when have you gotten so insightful? Weren't you the one who was all into the 'screw them and leave them' philosophy?" he screws up his face.

"Luckily, my saving grace showed me the light." I sigh with content.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just try to catch Stan before he leaves okay? Maybe show him some lovin' so you two won't have to part on bad terms." I let go of his arm as we near his front door.

Kyle forces out a laugh and pulls away. "Gee, thanks Mr. McCormick. That is if I can get the first word out without him smashing my face in. He's still steamed at me you know." He clenches his stomach, obviously still in pain from the earlier blow Stan gave him in the parking lot. From years of hanging out with Stan, all I know is to stay away from him when he's pissed because all those years of athletic training has given him mad strength. So being near him when he's a total bitch is suicide. I know from experience.

"First get some rest. You're still in pain." I help him through his front door despite him breaking away from my hold earlier. "Then go see Stan. You don't want to be crouched over in pain while making up. I'm sure the guy doesn't want to be reminded of nearly killing you."

"Sure. Thanks bud." I help him lay down on the couch in his living room. "I'm a bit tired anyways."

After chatting with Kyle a bit, I decide to leave him to rest up. He's going to need all the strength he needs to talk to Stan. In other words, he's going to need all the strength he can muster to make a mad dash out of there in case Stan rampages and decides to kill him for good. I have to admit, Stan's a good guy and all, but his emotions are his downfall. They get in the way of his brain and they render him into a complete hot tempered (or crying) idiot during times like these.

I sigh as I walk down the street that's quiet from everyone gathered in one place to party the night away. I can't help but think that today could have been so much memorable if all this crap didn't happen. Stan wouldn't be locked in his room right now crying and/or raging like a PMSing bitch, Kyle wouldn't be lying on his ugly shit coloured couch in pain, my wife and I would probably be at home resuming our fucking or 'love-making' from earlier at the dance, and Wendy...well...I don't know what the fuck she would be up to because I don't giving a rat's ass about her. But all in all, we all probably would've been with everyone else partying it up late into the night to commemorate today.

And today wouldn't have been sad.

I check the time on my watch and decide to go check up on Stan. I made a decision to never interfere with those two again no matter how bad or good their relationship becomes. They need to find their own way to each other not matter how bad things seem. They both need to realize the good qualities in each other on their own. Otherwise...

...there's no point in being in love.

**Stan**

"I still think it's a bad idea, dude."

I toss my clothes and other junk into my suitcase furiously while ignoring a certain person who decided to show up unannounced at my house's remarks about how I shouldn't act impulsively and shit. How the fuck can I not? How can I not give a shit when all this time Kyle has been secretly pining after Wendy while knowing full well that she was still with me. Friends don't do shit like that to other friends. Not only that, but...why Wendy? Haven't I always been there for the guy? We're best friends right? We promised to be together forever...right?

I stop in the midst of packing and let the rest of my thoughts overcome me. I was too selfish and worried about how the school saw me so I burdened him with my demands. As a result, I neglected our friendship. I was too slow to realize my feelings for him until I had already dated Wendy for years. Thus, what could have been couldn't happen because Wendy took up the majority of my time. This means that I've pretty much lost Kyle for good now. Both as a friend and as something more than that. But the asshole wasn't even happy that I got into one of the best universities in America. I guess I can't totally blame myself for being a bad friend either.

I cringe at the thought and throw my pair of jeans violently on the floor. I don't even care where everything lands since my vision is pretty much blurred with tears.

"Y-you're not even throwing them in the suitcase." Kenny says with worry as he starts approaching me.

"Will you shut the FUCK up?" I shout at him.

He sighs and comes over to help me pack everything that was thrown on the floor. "I still don't think you should leave without saying goodbye to Kyle."

"WHY? He's all happy fucking Wendy so why the fuck would he care if the likes of me leaves?"

"Because you're his best friend?"

"WAS his best friend!" I shout back, resulting a flinch from him not from fear but possibly from my sudden loud voice.

Kenny picks up one of my hoodies and holds onto to it for a while. "You're being irrational." He tells me while folding it neatly.

"I see your 'wife' has taught a few things about chores." I eye the neatness of the folded hoodie.

"I wasn't taught anything. It's called helping each other out in keeping our apartment clean."

To be honest, I envy Kenny in so many ways. I didn't think he would be able to hold onto such a relationship at his age let alone be married already. Back in the day, he wasn't just called a playboy for nothing. He got that name for his promiscuity with both genders around the school. I remember the way both guys and girls would want in his pants and he wouldn't refuse as long as they gave him what he wanted. Whether he wanted a favour or simply just money they always paid him afterwards as long as they got a good fuck from him. I guess the more proper term would be to call him a 'whore' but everyone was just so charmed by his looks that they mostly just called him a 'playboy' just to express his physical appeal to them. It was just so surprising that right after getting closer to his now 'wife' he stopped being a 'playboy' and they went steady for a while. Before the rest of us saw it coming, they were married. None of us thought it would last and that Kenny would just return to his old way and break off the marriage all together. But it's already been three years and he's the happiest I've ever seen him.

That is why I envy the bastard so much.

"You and Kyle would probably be married too if you two weren't such buttholes." He says as if reading my mind.

I snatch the sweater away from him and stuff it into my suitcase without saying another word. There's no need for explanations I saw what I saw and heard what I heard. What more do I need?

"Stan, there has to be a reasonable explanation for this."

"Oh really?" I shut my suitcase and turn around to face Kenny who was standing there with his poker face. When he doesn't respond, I force a sarcastic chuckle. "Well? Go on. Explain away."

Kenny scoffs and walks towards my window. "You don't have to be such a fucking dick to everyone else." He leans on the windowsill and I have half the mind to give him a good shove out there.

"I don't see you trying to help me fix this since you're the one that made things turn for the worse with your little plan." I snap the locks close on my suitcase.

"Will you stop fucking blaming me? You've been doing that for the past two hours since I got here." He turns back towards me and responds defensively. "Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind about leaving without telling Kyle?"

"No." I reply simply and lift my suitcase off my bed.

"Dude." He calls out to me suddenly and I stop. I looked up at him and he looks as though he wants to say something to me.

I wait and he still doesn't say anything to me. But he looks up "Please don't let something this stupid ruin a friendship."

"Are you feeling guilty over what you did? Look, just don't worry about it. You didn't do anything." I try to reason with him.

"That's not it at all you fucking retard!" I flinch at his shout. "You really think I'm that kind of person? Unbelievable Stan! I may be a bit of a dick at times but not to this extent!"

"Kenny, I-."

"I just don't want your eighteen years of friendship to be thrown away like yesterday's garbage all because of a dumb mistake! Haven't you ever heard the expression 'bros before hoes' you dipshit?"

"Are you done?" I looked up at him and his huffs a bit out of breath.

"Yeah..." he mutters and goes back to straightening my clothes. "I'm staying out of this...you better think things over."

I can't lie that what he said back there didn't tug at a thread of regret inside of me. I don't exactly want to part on bad terms with Kyle either, but...him and Wendy..? That's just...

"I'm just saying that what you saw probably wasn't what it appeared to be..." he adds.

Now he's just being ridiculous. "Are you saying my eyes deceived me for some unknown reason? I saw them Kenny. And like I told you Kyle discreetly told Wendy that that he sees me as nothing more than just a friend, she's sighs in relieve and sticks her tongue down his throat. What does that tell you?"

Kenny looks at me like I'm the biggest lunatic in the world. "Like I said, I'm staying out of this. But I know for a fact that there was something wrong about what you saw."

I scoff and roll my eyes. "Yeah, just like how you 'knew' that the plan you had for Kyle and I was going to work out?"

"Touché, Stan. But like I said, you don't need to be a fucking dick about it."

We both sit in an uncomfortable silence for a while until Kenny leans up from his position and checks the time on his cell phone.

"I have to get home dude. Don't want to leave a certain person home alone too long."

"Sure." I nod and walk with him down stairs to see him off. "Remember, don't say anything to Kyle."

"No problem." He slips his jacket on. "I think I've interfered enough anyways."

"Thanks."

"This doesn't mean I'm still not mad at you for what you're doing." He gives me one last look before leaving out the front door.

I close the door behind myself and slump against it.

The door bell suddenly goes off and nearly scares the hell out of me. I quickly turn around to unlock the door and Kenny bursts in again.

"Dude. What the hell?" I ask as he shoves he further in the house and locks the door himself.

"Dude, Stan. I just saw Kyle coming down your street. Good thing I didn't see him or I would've been-."

"What? I thought you said you dropped him off home before coming here?"

"Never mind. I'm going out the back." He says simply.

"Kenny!"

"Bye."

I grumble at him with annoyance and start to head upstairs. I don't want to deal with this right now. Screw Kyle, he's probably just here to apologize for screwing Wendy.

"Wait you're not bailing are you? Go talk to him!" Kenny calls from the bottom of the stairs.

"Forget it. I'm too tired to deal with this crap now."

The doorbell starts going off and I can guess who it is. Kenny glances at the door and gives me a 'well?' look and points at it. I fight the urge to swing open the door to tell him off so I shake my head to warn Kenny that if he opened that door our friendship would end right here and now. Defeated, Kenny sighs and starts walking towards our backdoor.

"Whatever I'm going." He trudges down the hall and heads towards the kitchen.

I watch Kenny disappear out the backdoor and head upstairs again. Suddenly the vibration from my phone startles me and I quickly fish it out of my pant pocket thinking that now is the worse time for phone calls. I look at the caller I.D. and grind my teeth with anger.

It's Wendy.

I flip open the phone just so I can hang it up again to show her how much I don't want to hear her voice right now but I stop mid way through and bring the phone close to my mouth.

"...what?"

"Stan, please you're being unreasonable." Is all that comes through the speaker and it pisses me off even more.

Her stupid demanding voice pisses me off. Placing all the blame on me, as if the way I acted was irrational. As if I was suppose to have accepted the whole thing with a huge smile plastered on my face and congratulated them.

Yeah, I'm sure that would have been MORE rational.

"Would you fuck off?"

"I should be telling you that." She replies.

I'm taken back by her threatening and yet emotionless tone. What I'm feeling isn't anger or jealousy...but...fear? I'm afraid of her. No, I'm afraid of her telling me again that I'm burdening Kyle. I don't want her to remind me that I could be holding him back from a better future than what he has now.

"Please, Stan. Just leave Kyle alone." She pleads. "Don't you think you've been holding him back enough?"

"I...I haven't!" I try to compose myself to hide my fear.

"Stan! Kyle's the one that deserves to go to N.Y.U! Not you." She attempts to reason while blaming me for everything.

"He chose to help get me into the university! So could you stop blaming me?" I hate to admit it, but she's right. Kyle is the smartest kid in our school next to Wendy and he deserves to be in a more prestige university.

"I guess I could stop blaming you. I mean it's not your fault you couldn't see past your own selfish needs."

I think I grip the phone so hard that it could break any moment. "What are you talking about? If you're trying to get me to stay away from your precious boyfriend-."

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" she sobs. "You don't get it, Stan. Do you know why I hate you so much right now? Did you know how much Kyle wanted to N.Y.U. instead of South Park university? Oh and did you know he actually went and took a test to get into that university? Cartman was more than happy to tell me every detail."

Kyle wanted to go to N.Y.U? Since when? I've never heard him say anything about studying there before.

"Of course you wouldn't know! If only you paid any attention to him like the rest of us you'd know that he only decided on South Park university for you! I can't believe what an inconsiderate asshole you are!" she screams into the phone but I don't buy what she's saying especially since the source of some of that info came from Cartman of all people. Plus, she did lie before.

"Stan? Are you home?" comes a familiar muffled voice through the front door. When I don't answer for a while he starts to bang the front door hard. I stay in my spot for God knows how long and Kyle continues to ring the bell while calling out for me to answer. It takes a while for me to realize that this probably wasn't the best idea since it IS past two in the morning and all this noise could wake the whole neighbourhood. I don't know why Kyle hasn't realized that yet. Perhaps he's just really persistent.

"Stan! Did you hear me?" Wendy's voice bellows from the other end as I stand there and try to register two things going on at once.

"Stan will you please just open the door?" I think I hear him kick the door. I'm starting to think that maybe he hasn't gotten over his drunkenness.

"If you don't believe me then ask Kyle yourself." I hear a click sound and I realize she has hung up.

I look out the window and watch him continuously ring the doorbell and bang on our door. He looks desperate and frustrated at his failed attempts to get me out of the house. I pull back in forth between going out there to save our friendship or shutting him out for breaking my heart. Be friends and live with the pain that he's with someone else or let him suffer for hurting me?

"Kyle?"

He stops momentarily and presses himself closer to the door to hear my muffled voice. "Stan? Stan! We need to talk!" I can almost feel his anxiousness from the other side.

"Yeah. Actually can I ask you a question first?" I speak as loud as I could so he can hear through the thick door.

He hesitates for a moment. "Yeah, go ahead."

"I...I didn't know you wanted to go to N.Y.U..."

I don't hear anything from the other side. Maybe I should repeat myself since he might not have heard me.

"Yeah...I did...was it Cartman?" he finally mumbles, almost incoherently.

"No, Wendy."

"Ah...I guess things do get around quick in our school." He chuckles slightly.

She wasn't lying after all. Then that means I really wasn't paying any attention to my best friend all this time. I've neglected to notice this crucial detail in Kyle's life while claiming to be his so-called 'best friend'.

"You took the test too then...h-how come I didn't see you there?" I ask in horror at the scary truth.

Another pause. "I probably registered for the session before yours. And I only did it because my mom made me...but I purposely flunked so she's wouldn't bitch at me for not even trying at all. I mean I did want to go at first, but then I thought you were gonna stay at South Park university..."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU FUCK UP ON PURPOSE?"

"I...I thought you were going to South Park university!" he cries out desperately. "I mean you kept talking about how you'd probably end up going there anyways and...oh god." I hear a thump sound on the door that sounded like a slight kick.

"That's because I didn't think I would make it into N.Y.U.!"

"And how am I supposed to know that? What if I got in and you didn't?" he groans into the door. "I always thought we'd be going to the same university together."

My chest sinks. The feeling overcoming me strains me greatly and I don't know what to do. I can't believe I forced Kyle in blowing the best chance of his life. And what bugs me the most isn't the fact that we could've been in the same school together but that it's because of me that he's not at the school he belongs in. But another thing...that I don't want to accept...if he wanted to go to the same university as me...then that means that he probably...

"Stan...I..."

"Stop." I cut him off. I've already fucked up his life enough as it is and being with me won't be any good for his future. Best to nip the problem at the bud before it grows and is too late to fix. It's best we are apart.

It just wasn't meant to be.

"Stan, there's nothing between Wendy and I...it's you who I-."

"We shouldn't see each other anymore." I say abruptly.

"What?" I'm not sure if he didn't hear me or he's just saying that in disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about, Stan?" he cries and smacks a fist against the door showing he clearly heard me the first time.

"We're no good for each other...so please...i-it's for our own good." Actually it's more for HIS own good than mine. My voice trembles from the overwhelming emotion creeping up on me. If there's anymore more talking, I don't know if I can contain myself from bursting out and taking him in my arms.

"Stan!" he pleads from the other side.

A tear starts making its way down my face. "Kyle...just remember that I've always loved you...sorry I ruined your night." I whimper so quietly that I'm convinced that he doesn't hear me. But he proves me otherwise when I hear a gasp and then silence from the other side.

"Stan, I love-."

"Forget about me! I've caused you enough trouble. Wendy is better for you, Kyle. You don't need someone as selfish as me to be pulling you down for the rest of your life." I argue in between tears.

"Stan! Would you just listen to me?"

I ignore his desperate voice that echo through the door. Each time he cries out my name and how I should come out and talk makes me cry harder. I stifle my sobs so my parents aren't woken up from this melodrama. But I think all the yelling through the door would have woken them up anyways. I can't imagine anyone sleeping through all that screaming.

"STAN!"

I mentally struggle with myself until I hear my dad call out to Kyle outside, he must have gone through the back and made his way to Kyle. I open the blinds to look out but I don't think they notice me. I see my dad has gone out to talk to him and could vaguely hear him say something about coming back tomorrow before I leave rather than disturbing our neighbours at this hour. Kyle nods and heads back the way he came after he apologizes to my dad. Kyle looks back at the window and I turn away quickly to avoid his look.

I hold back the urge to go after him as I make up my mind and close the blinds on the window.

On the way out of the living room I shut the lights and decide that from here on, Kyle is nothing more than just a person I once knew.

A person I once loved.

**Kyle**

I didn't think he would leave without telling anyone.

I'm standing in Stan's living room right now and am as baffled as much as his parents. According to Kenny and Stan's parents, he was suppose to leave around 10:00 am to catch his 11:00 flight at the airport and have Kenny drop him off instead of taking a taxi there. But...

It's 7:00 am right now and he's already left.

"I'm sorry, Kyle." Sharon apologizes sincerely. "We're not even sure why he left so early. He was already gone when we got up."

"Yeah..." Randy puts down the note Stan left saying that he was going to catch the 7:00 flight instead which means he had left around 6:00 am and is long gone by now. "I dunno what's got into him." He shakes his head and sighs.

"T-that's alright..." I smile at them for being so concerned about Stan. They really are loving parents so I don't know why Stan complains about them so much. But I can't hope to tell them exactly why Stan left so early. For all they know, Stan and I only got into a fight because of going to different universities thanks to our little loud performance that anyone could have heard last night. They don't knowing the full details though.

A continuous quick ringing of the doorbell pulls me out of my thoughts and Sharon runs to get the door, hoping that it's Stan.

"Young man just what were you...Oh! Kenny!" she sounds surprised.

Kenny bursts in and looks around. When he sees me his shoulders drops with disappointment.

"He actually left didn't he?" he sighs.

I nodded and he mumbles 'for fuck sakes' under his breath.

"Um...Kenny do you know why Stan left so early?" Randy asks to rid the awkwardness even though there's nothing he could do if they found out the reason why their son has left so abruptly.

"No..." Kenny clearly lies. "He just said he was leaving and left me at that."

Randy and Sharon look at each other with worry. "Alright, thanks boys. We'll contact Stan later on today to make sure he got there safely. We'll update you afterwards." Sharon smiles.

"Oh..thanks, Mrs Marsh." I say to her.

"There's no need for that." Kenny says almost angrily and starts to leave resulting in confused looks from the Marshes.

When we have left the house I pick up my pace to catch up with Kenny. "Kenny, wait up!" I call out. In turn, he smiles and places his arms playfully around my shoulders.

"Stan is such a retard." He says.

I say nothing and decide not to freak out too much about it. I mind as well enjoy the time I have with the friends here and now. More importantly, I have to leave everyone out of this problem. The only thing I can do is wait for Sharon to let us know how Stan's doing. It's not like there's anything I can do now since he's long gone. All I can do is...wait.

Kenny sighs. "Why must he make things more complicated when it's meant to be." He mumbles to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

(5 years later)

It's incredibly busy to be traveling back to South Park on a Saturday afternoon but my dad had insisted that I headed home as soon possible after my work-related trip to Denver. He even picked me up to make sure I get back safely. I have a feeling this is all of mom's doing. One day I need to have a straight talk with her that her twenty-three year old doesn't need to be babysat like a five year old.

"How was your day son?" my dad asks as he keeps his eye on the road ahead.

"It's alright I guess..." I sigh into my hand while staring out the window at the moving scenery. Nothing interesting.

"I see..." he sounds uninterested. Ever since I had decided to be a high school teacher rather than a lawyer my dad has been holding a grudge against me. My mom seemed a bit cold to the whole idea at first but when she realized the money I was rolling in, she didn't care too much afterwards. It's just my dad that's all butt hurt over it. Just because he's a lawyer and my grandpa was one doesn't mean I have to be. I still teach law and politics in school so I don't know why he gives a shit about what I do.

"Are you getting used to the teaching, Kyle?"

I had only started at Denver High a little over half a year ago after I graduated teacher's college. At first the atmosphere just wasn't the same as the one someone as a student would experience. For once you're not the one that's just sitting there listening...or not listening, but you're the one who's leading the class with all eyes on you. So basically the first few months were hell. It was nerve racking and the principal nitpicked everything that I did. As the months went by things started to settle down a bit more though. I guess she was just trying to weed out the 'bad' teachers by being tough on them.

"Yeah..." I reply back.

"That's good to hear."

"Geez, dad I've only been away for a couple of days for the trip. Don't act like I'm returning after years." I roll my eyes.

"Sorry for trying to have a meaningful conversation with my son." He retorts back.

Meaningful? Please.

"Besides you know your mother. A few days is like a few years for her. You better be nice when we get home."

"Right, right." I reply back half-heartedly.

"Have you heard from Stanley?"

"No, dad."

"Alright, just asking."

Every time he sees me he asks the same question and each time I give the same answer. What does he expect me to do after not talking to the guy for five years? Suddenly come home one day and be like "Oh guess what me and Stan are best friends again"? After the incident during our high school grad we haven't spoken. Even though I've tried to contact him on many occasions he never took my calls or answered my texts. I think he even changed his number on me the day he left but Kenny said that it was only because he was moving to a different area. I waited and waited even though he didn't answer my calls, but he never contacted me and eventually he was no more than a distant memory. With the stress of university and finding a proper teaching position, I couldn't really make the effort to hold on to him.

I sigh and continue staring out the window. Even though Kenny gave me his new number, he still didn't answer my calls. Damn caller I.D. I hate the fact that I'm always reminded of Stan whenever the holidays roll around. It's as if I can't even be separated from him even though I AM separated from him physically and emotionally. Or that people still see us as a pair like back in the days. I remember when the grad dance was over and when he gave me a good punch in the gut I had ran after him to his house. Unfortunately, I had reached him too late and he already locked himself inside his house. After a number of bangs and shouts outside his window, Mr. Marsh finally came out and told me to go home since I was pretty much waking up the whole neighbourhood and that I should just come again in the morning before Stan left for New York.

And so that's what I did.

I'm not sure if Mr. Marsh was even aware of what was going on but decided to tell Stan anyways or that he just happen to mention that I was going to be at his house in the morning in the midst of conversation, but when I arrived there Stan was already long gone. It turns out that when his dad mentioned that I would be there, Stan 'just happened' to have a change of plans that neither me or his parents were aware of and needed to leave hours earlier.

And that's how I missed him.

On more than one occasion I had considered going to New York myself to see him. I even bought plane tickets to fly over there. But I chickened out at the last minute. I was so afraid that he would shut the door in my face or punch me out again and tell me to leave him alone. I was so scared that the thought made me tremble. I wanted to apologize and tell him that his was worth more to me than anything. But another part of me couldn't forgive him for wasting away my years by being with Wendy for so long. It hurt me that night to see how hurt he was over the fact that Wendy would be better suited for me. I felt like such a dick but a twisted part of me was happy that he was so hurt, that he got to experience what I felt years before. The feeling of loneliness of losing the one you care about the most to someone else.

I was happy. And yet sad.

That was why I couldn't face him.

"I honestly don't know what happened between you two." He shook his head.

"Can we drop it now, please?"

We pull up in front of our house and my mom comes storming out with Ike following her.

"My Bubula!" she hugs me tightly.

I struggle with her grip "Mom! It's only been three days, what the hell?" if she squeezes any tighter she'll crush me.

"I know sweetie. But I just kept worrying whether you had enough clean underwear or not."

"Ugh!" My face goes red and I can hear Ike laughing loudly at the doorway. "For crying out loud..." I mutter.

I pull my light luggage out of the trunk and make my way into the house.

"So... did you have enough clean underwear?" Ike grins at me.

"Shut it you little dork!" I turn to headlock him but he runs off into the kitchen laughing. He's too fast.

I crash on the couch and hope that no one bothers me for a while. I close my eyes and try to forget that I have to travel back to Denver on Monday to teach.

"Kyle! Kyle! I'm bored!" Ike complains to me when he steps back into the living room with a bag of chips.

"Dammit Ike! You're eighteen! Shouldn't you be like...I dunno...out with friends and not bothering me?"

He munches loudly on his chips. "Nah they're all busy with work." He says as he flips on the T.V. and sits down next to me.

"Then go get a job." I mutter tiredly.

"I tried but no one will hire me so deal with it." He retorts with his attention still glued on the screen as he munches down a big chunk of chips.

"Ugh. Just keep it down for now I wanna rest. And chew quietly."

He doesn't say anything and lowers the volume of the T.V.

I listen to the faint sounds of the news before I start to nod off and I am finally temporarily out of this world .

"Bubula..Kyle?"

I mumble a bit before I wake up enough to recognize that's it's my mom waking me. I rub my eyes and yawn loudly.

"Mom? What is it?" I look up to see that the lights are turned off in the living room and she's in her pyjamas.

"Bubbie. I'm getting worried about Ike. He was supposed to come home five hours ago. Can you go pick him up from his friend's party?" she asks with concern written all over her voice.

"What? Party?" I stretch a bit and glance at the digital clock on my phone.

4:00 am. For fuck sakes.

"Alright, alright." I get up and head for the door. The little asshole didn't tell me about any party. I thought he had nothing to do the whole night based on his bitching and moaning.

"Is it the friend that's just down the street?" I grab my jacket and unlock the front door.

"Yeah, I think it's that Fillmore friend of his."

I sigh "Alright." I reply and close the door behind me. Best to walk if it's not even that far in the first place.

That Fillmore has always gotten Ike into trouble. He's always making him skip classes at school and doing shit like this. Dumb shit that Ike normally doesn't do. The kid's fucking smart enough to think for himself and yet he gets into crap like this with his friend. He better not be trying to rebel like he did in the past. And we both know how those instances always end up.

I approach Fillmore's house and am not surprised at the people vomiting out in the front along with beer bottles tossed all over the place. The inside isn't any better. It reeks of weed and beer and I could barely see where I'm going with the entire house's lights pretty much turned off along with the thick smoke lingering in the air.

I cough a few times. "Ike! Where the hell are you?" I push pass drunken teenagers to find him.

I spot Fillmore feeling some girl up against the wall and grab him by the shoulder.

He turns around and immediately recognizes me.

"Kyle! So glad you decided to join us. How was the trip?"

Oh yeah, he's totally hammered. He's normally not this nice.

"Nevermind that. Where's Ike?"

"Mike? I don't know no Mike around here." He takes a long drink out of his bottle.

"IKE!"

"Right. Right I was just messing with you man!" he chuckles obnoxiously. "He went somewhere upstairs. Not too sure where upstairs exactly."

I dash upstairs in anger. That little bastard's gonna get it so badly. Staying out so late at his age? And if I catch him getting high like the rest of the idiots here I'm gonna beat the living shit out of him.

I scan the dark hallway and see nothing but garbage thrown on the floor. I can't help but imagine how Fillmore's parents are going to react when they get home. I hope they'll make him regret it big time.

I check a few rooms and found them to be locked. I guess the kid's a bit smart after all.

I notice a lit room down the hallway and make my way over. I sighed to myself and I hope it's not Ike puking his brains out from the booze or whatever he took. Actually, I REALLY hope he's not intoxicated because I don't know what I would do with myself if that were the case. I won't be able to stand it if my little brother's heath is in danger. Plus, mom would probably scream the hell out of me for not watching over him.

I hear a few giggles and approach the bathroom with a mix of worry and disgust. Oh god, he better not be...

"Ike?" I step in.

"Kyle?" he looks up at me with a girl tucked away beside him. I examine the room they're in and it doesn't look like they were doing anything 'inappropriate' or barfing their brains out from alcohol.

"Ike...uh...what are you doing up here?"

Ike chuckles sheepishly. "It was too loud downstairs, so we figured we could get away from it." The girl looks up and just simply nods.

"Oh. Uh...what WERE you two doing anyways?"

"Geez. Calm down. We were just talking." He says matter of factly.

"So you two weren't getting high or nothing?"

Ike and the girl glance at each other. "No. Why the hell would we do that?"

"You two weren't having sex either?"

"For the love of God!" Ike flips out and the girl giggles in amusement. "Unlike the bunch downstairs, we do have some self-control big bro!"

I chuckle at his reaction and crouch down in front of them. I guess I was worried for nothing.

"Well, I don't mean to interrupt your time with your little girlfriend, but it's late and mom's worried. I'm sure your parents are worried too." I say with a smile to them. I can trust him afterall.

Ike checks his watch. "Ah shit! Kyle, we really did lose track of time! Believe me, it wasn't intentional."

"Alright, I'll believe you as long as I'm allowed to get you two home."

"Sure. Comon." He pulls his girlfriend up and they both follow behind me as we leave.

After we walked his girlfriend home, Ike and I go back the opposite direction and head home. It's a good thing we dropped her off first too with the kind of neighbourhood she lives in.

"She seems nice."

"She is." Ike smiles warmly to himself. "It's like...I can be how ever I want in front of her and vice versa. We just really understand each other."

"How long have you known her?" I ask with amusement at the thought that my soon-to-be nineteen year old brother is blushing like a little kid who has been kissed for the first time.

"Oh a loooong time." He stretches his sentence to exaggerate his point. "Since kindergarten, actually."

"That long?"

"Yeah, we only started going out recently though. It's really weird going from friends to girlfriend and boyfriend. But boy! What a way to end the last year of high school huh?" he gives me a big grin that I can distinctly make out in the dark and I smile back in return.

I can't help but think about the parallel between Ike and I here. Well, not really a parallel, maybe 'perpendicular'? Yeah, our parallel and yet perpendicular lives in our final year of high school with him at the brighter end and me who had to endure the darker end of it. Had Stan and I worked out, would we be the same as Ike and his love? Would we be cuddling in Kenny's bathroom at 4:00 am just...talking? Could we have been...this happy?

"She's going to Stanford though." He suddenly says. "And you know that I'll be going to Denver university to be near you!" he says sarcastically to exaggerate just how much he actually wants to see me everyday. "But seriously that's the only place that has what I need to be a cop."

We all realized how much Ike would rather be a cop than another lawyer in the family when he started to get into criminology and everything that revolved around it after entering high school. He started reading up more on it and even checked which universities provided the courses that could make it possible for him. And of course, dad blew another gasket since all hope of ever continuing the family tradition had been lost for good.

"So I guess you guys are enjoying your last night as a couple?"

Ike stops walking and looks at me wide eyed. "What the hell are you talking about? We're still gonna be together."

"But you two are going to be so far away." I say back in defence.

"So?" Ike shakes his head. "I don't see why that means we can't still be boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Maybe because you two are going to have a ton of school work AND because you're going to be ridiculously far from each other."

"That's true." He rubs his chin. "But neither of us are worried."

"Why?"

"Big brother. Let my superior brain explain to your puny one a few things about love." He continues walking again. "When you people are in love they are willing to put effort into staying together. And also when you're both THIS in love, a little distance is nothing."

"Except for you two, it's not just a 'little' distance." I cross my arms as I wait for him to unlock our front door.

"It's a 'little' because that's just how much we give a crap about it."

I go quiet. There's no arguing him there. He's quite insightful for a little runt.

"Good night, Kyle." He kicks off his sneakers and heads up to his room.

I take off my jacket and decide to head back to the couch since it was too comfortable. I'll probably have an easier time falling asleep there anyways.

"Just think about what I said." He calls from the stairs before I hear a door slam from his room.

It's obvious at what he's hinting at and I groan.

Give me a fucking break.

* * *

Chapter 5 END-TBC


	6. He's On Your Mind I

It was torture writing a certain scene that appears in this chapter. Hey at least this chapter is shorter.

* * *

Chapter 6

He's On Your Mind: Part I

**Kyle**

I guess it's not so bad to spend the weekend home without having to mark any school work for once. It's nice to have time to relax without worrying about finish grading papers before the beginning of the week or dealing with upset parents on the phone complaining about how John or Suzie did not deserve the grade they received on their test. For once it's nice to not have someone nagging the hell out of you or feeling obligated to get things done. Besides, today seems nice enough to have a romantic getaway for a while. I wonder if she's busy.

I reach for my cell and dial her number. She picks up after a few rings and is happy to hear me as I am to her.

"Kyle!" her voice chirps and I smile widely in return. Hearing how happy she is always brings a smile to my face.

"Hey, what are you up to today?" I ask picturing her walking around her room in joy after hearing my plans.

"You know that I'm free for you anytime, Kyle." She coos into the phone. I can picture her playing with a strand of her dark hair like she always does when she talks to me.

"Alright then get your butt ready at one. I'm coming by to pick you up." I say playfully at her and she giggles.

"Sure thing. I love you!"

"Love you too."

We hang up and I fall back on my bed in relief, thanking luck that she wasn't busy today. I don't know what I'd do with the weekend if I couldn't spend it with her. She's my everything. Even though we had a rough start she was always there comforting me when Stan and I had our falling out. I remember I rejected her attempts to comfort me for three years straight and I even kept telling myself that I would never forgive her for what she did, but eventually she became a part of me that I can't let go. I just people are right when they say a crisis brings people closer together.

Maybe I'll stop by Kenny's place before going out with her. I haven't seen him in over a week. I wonder if him and his little wife were able to get that nicer apartment near my high school. That would be a good excuse to stop by to see them.

I knock on the apartment door a few times and there's no answer. It's strange since they're normally home during the weekend; they're both off work after all. I knock again and I finally hear a few sounds coming from the other side.

"Kenny?" I call out.

The door swings open and Kenny's standing there naked with sweat glazed all over his body. "Oh hey, dude." he smiles at me.

"Aw, sick! Kenny put some clothes on before greeting people!" I use my hand to block the majority of him from view except for his face.

He smiles smugly at me. "Like what you see, Mr. Broflovski?" and approaches closer to me.

He reeks of sex and it makes my stomach churn. I should've know what the lovely couple was up to on such a nice Saturday morning like this. What better way to celebrate than fucking like rabbits and disturbing your neighbours through the paper thin walls. On second thought, what the hell am I thinking? They would have been up to the same thing day or night. It's been like that for the six years that they have been married.

"Get the fuck away from me you, perv." I push him back into his apartment and close the door behind us. "You're gross, do you know that?"

Kenny picks up a pair of boxers that was thrown on the sofa and I cringe, reminding myself not to sit there later. He slips into them and laughs at me. "You can move your hands now you pussy."

I pull my hands away from my vision and glare at him. "You should stop being so careless! What if it wasn't me?"

Kenny rolls his eyes at me. "We have a peephole, you know." He chuckles at me. "So what brings you over? I'm sure it's not to talk about my sex life."

"Don't worry it's definitely not that." I look at the apartment brochures on the coffee table. "Found a new apartment yet?"

"We're thinking of going with the one at the end of town for the time being. The one in Denver is too expensive for us right now."

"That sounds good. The ones near the end of town are pretty good too I heard." I nod.

Kenny stares at me weirdly. "You're not here to talk about apartments." He says offensively and it makes me jump to defend myself.

"What the hell, Kenny?"

"You have a date with HER, don't you?" he asks.

"I...uh..." I stammer. Yeah, so I do have a date. What's this got to do with finding apartments.

"You always come here when you have to go out with her. Why is that?"

I don't know! And I want to yell that at him but I can't because I do indeed always find my way over to Kenny's when I have to go out with her. But it's definitely not _because_ I have to go on a date though. It's just a coincidence.

"You're thinking too much Kenny." I suggest as I flip through his brochures.

"Perhaps." He says tiredly, not wanting to argue anymore due to his previous activities before I arrived.

"Where's the wife?" I change the subject to let him know that we are not going to argue about who I go out with again. I know he doesn't approve of her and she hates him just as much, but things have changed and we all have to put the crap that happened in high school behind us. We're all mature adults now and I wish Kenny would act like one once in a while.

"Sleeping." He replies simply, his mood totally different from when I first stepped into his apartment. He's always like this when I talk about her.

"Kyle, I know I've asked you this many times before, but why the fuck _her_ out of all people? Why not one of the Raisins girls or even Bebe?"

I throw down the brochures in irritation. "We're not fighting about this again!" I cut him off before he can even start talking.

"No! I don't care." he leans over and jabs my chest. "Do you even remember what she did to you and Stan back in high school?" he whispers loudly at me, trying not to wake his wife in the next room. "And besides, it sure didn't take you long to get over a certain person." He says sarcastically.

"Excuse Kenny, but it's been five years and I have a life you know. You think I'm supposed to wallow over Stan for the rest of my life?" I start to raise my voice. "And who the hell cares about the past. You forget who she did all of that for!" I stare at him intensely and he scoffs.

"Unbelievable." He mutters. "Are all of my friends this retarded?"

We both sit in silence, not bothering to saying anything back to each other. There's no point anyways, it always ends the same way.

"I just really, really don't like her." He sighs. "And I don't think you two are right for each other. It's like watching a cat mate with a frog. Or-."

"Yeah thanks. I'm going now." I get up from my seat and head for the door. "I'll see myself out. Tell your wife I said hi." I put on my shoes and open the door to leave. He scoffs again and nods, clearly still butt hurt over the idea of who I'm dating.

"Fuck Wendy..." Kenny mutters and I hear him before I close the door.

Wendy hugs me when I show up a bit late. "H-hey! Sorry I'm late...I had stuff come up." I say sheepishly.

She plants a kiss on my cheek "It's okay! I wasn't waiting too long anyways." She hooks her arm around mine and we make our way from her house.

She snuggles up against me as we walk, looking the most content I've ever seen her. She was always so serious in high school, always trying to be the best at everything and staying on top of me grade wise. Even in university. But ever since I finally agreed to date her she's lightened up a lot. A whole lot.

I smile back at her. She's done so much for me. Like how she was with me day and night when I was upset over Stan years before and how she refused to leave me wallowing in pain until I had completely forgotten about Stan. So I guess it's only natural that I started to feel for her too; her kindness is just too much to refuse.

The park we walk through is pretty nice especially in this spring weather. So it's not very surprising to see a lot of couples enjoying their time here as well. It's almost exactly like one of those scenes from those cheesy chick flicks Wendy likes to watch. There's mostly elderly couples taking walks with each other and some of them have dogs too but it doesn't bother me. We stroll around a bit until we notice a nice spot near a small pond that Stan and I used to play near. We would always race our boats to see who built the sweetest one or make sorry attempts to skip rocks across the water to see who can keep their rock the long above the water. It was all special because the thing with this pond was that it was only ours and no one else's. Whenever we come here it would always be Stan and I and no one else. Not even Kenny. It was our special place.

"I'm glad we came here." I say to Wendy. "Stan and I always came here after school to play." I laugh.

She doesn't say anything. "Yeah...I know." She mutters quietly under her breath.

"Like that one time, when we saw this kid trying to steal one of our boats, we ran after him. It was so fun until Stan totally slipped and fell into the water. Man, you should've seen his face. He was..."

"Kyle you're doing it again." She lets go of my arm and watches the ripples across the water.

Oh.

I quiet down. "Sorry Wendy. I got a little too carried away there."

"Dammit Kyle!" her voice raises and she shoots me an angered look.

Ah. I've done it again. I always end up talking about Stan when we're together whether we're out or just at home spending time together. It's quite obvious at why she would be mad so I should be more careful at what I say. It's just hard to visit old memories when Stan and I had been to every part of South Park together when we were younger.

I reach out and pull her into a hug. "I'm sorry Wends, I didn't mean to." I brush her dark hair and she nuzzles close to my chest.

She wraps her arms around me. "Sorry I snapped Kyle. It's just that this is our time together. And I don't want your mind on _him_ while you're with me."

I can hear her cynical tone when referring to 'him.' The last time we fought over Stan was a week ago when I saw her. We were at a restaurant that Stan and I used to go to a lot and I started going on about him again. I talked about how it was kind of funny that she also ordered the same dish as he did when he was with me. It was then that Wendy snapped and made a total scene in front of the rest of the people there. I had to practically run around town with cola soaked hair looking for her to apologize.

Boy, that was fun. Running around with sticky hair looking for someone who was only on the next block over.

And here I am doing it again. It must be the stress from work scrambling my brains.

I pull away just enough to see her face. "You're the only one on my mind." I lean in closer to her and our lips meet. We stay like this for a while as we deepen our lip lock, emitting a slight moan from her throat.

We pull away slightly out of breath and we chuckle to one another. It always ends this way when we fight about Stan. There's always a pattern that takes place: Wendy gets mad, we make up with a kiss and it sometimes ends with us in bed with each other. You'd think that I purposely pissed her off with talk about Stan to get some action, but that's far from the truth. The majority of the time I'm not even sure that I'm talking about Stan until Wendy bitches me out about it. I wonder why I do that? Do I really talk about him THAT much?

Wendy runs her hand on my face and stares into my green eyes with her dark ones. It would have been nice if Stan stared at me like that.

"Kyle?"

"Hm?" I did it again.

"I was just saying, maybe you should come over to my place." She blushes slightly and tugs at the hem of my jeans. I get what she's saying and bring her lips to mine again, which she happily accepts. Maybe this will help me take my mind of off him for today.

We barely make it through her front door without stumbling in each other's steps. It's hard to walk when we're locked in each other's grasp making out like freaking teenagers in the doorway and it's hard to focus any attention to unlocking a door when your attention is diverted elsewhere. I know I'm having a hard time focusing with her grinding against me like that.

We finally manage to enter her place without falling on each other as we kick off our shoes and remove some of our clothes. As soon as she pulls off my shirt I attack her neck and she nearly screams out my name while grasping my curls in her hands. I could feel her form arching against and rubbing her soft chest against mine. We make our way to her couch with her lying on her back with her legs slightly parted and me resting in between them still sucking away on her neck. I just love the way she feels. Especially her thick dark hair on my skin.

Thick dark hair...

If only it was a bit shorter. That would feel nice. Yeah...then I could run my hands through it without worrying about tangles and have it brush against me, tickling my skin. I think short black hair would be much nicer on her.

"K-Kyle!" she yells in pain and pinches my shoulder.

I pull up quickly in fear that I had hurt her. "Wendy? You okay?" I ask in alarm while cupping her face in my hands.

She touches a place on her neck and groans painfully. "Kyle, what's up? You were sucking so hard." She points to a dark red mark on the spot I was 'kissing' and laughs faintly.

"I...uh...I'm sorry!" I softly rub the spot. "I...just got a little excited...I guess." I hug her and she smiles.

"It's okay, Kyle. It's kind of a compliment actually." She giggles.

No it's not okay. It happened when I was thinking of...short black hair? Maybe I'm just trying too hard to forget him that's why. Just like the many other times we made love, I'm just trying too hard to not think of Stan. I'm just trying to ignore the guilt because of our past with Stan, right? I'm pretty sure that's the reason.

Wendy reaches down touches a certain part of me and I lean into her to get more of her feel. I gasp at her touch racing through my body. It feels so good and to think those are the same hands that once touched Stan like this. That is, if they ever did anything like this. I wonder how Stan's reaction would be if he was touched the way I am right now. What kind of face would he make while groaning in pleasure? I wonder if he would be begging me for more...I wonder if I could makes him scream...

I stop and Wendy makes a quizzical sound beneath me.

I lose all feeling and pull Wendy's hand away so I can get up from my spot to sit away from her. This is horrible, just what is wrong with me lately? It's getting worse and worse and I really don't have a reason to blame anymore.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asks with concern and sits up. She wraps her arms around me to sooth whatever is bothering me. No way in hell am I saying anything to her...yet.

I place my face into a hand. Dammit! This is bad because this isn't the first time it has happened. The last few times it happened I didn't care too much for it, but now it's really bothering me. Really, really bothering me. Normal people usually don't think of their best guy friend while trying to have sex with their girlfriends. I feel so dirty.

"I-I don't feel too well Wendy." I stammer and get up to gather my clothes to put them back on. "I'm sorry. Maybe some other time." I say while pulling my shirt over me, feeling like I've just had a bad one night stand with someone.

Wendy sits back in disappointment. "That's what you said all the other times." She pulls her knees up to her chest.

"I...I'm just...look work has been really stressful for me and well, it's kinda got my brains messed up." I lie through my teeth as an attempt to reason with her.

"It's okay. I don't want to force you." She looks away from me and sighs.

Fuck. Not only do I feel like a dick now but I also feel like a high school girl unwilling to give up her virginity. This all just feels so wrong that I can't even look Wendy straight in the eyes. I just can't face her with what I did to her.

I glance over at Wendy's seated form and wrap my arms around her. It's the least I could do for being such an asshole. "I'm sorry. I have to go, okay?" I give her a slight peck on her cheek before getting up. She nods and gathers her clothes as well.

"Have a good night." I tell her before leaving.

"Hold on a sec!" comes a voice from the other side of the apartment door that I'm knocking on. I hear a few stumbles until the door swings open revealing a yet again naked Kenny.

"Kenny for the love of god...!" I smack the palm of my hand against my face.

"Can you at least call if you're going to stop by unannounced." He quickly pulls on a pair of boxers that were in his hands.

"Well can you get dressed before answering the door?"

"Don't feel like it."

I shrug and walk without the disgust from when I first dropped by this morning. I could care less since I really need to talk right now. Since Stan left Kenny and I got a bit closer with him being the ear when I really need to talk and the shoulder to cry on when I'm upset. In the past, Kenny and I were just the kind of friends that weren't too personal with each other; we would just hang out when everyone else was there and talked about what was happening at the moment rather than setting aside some time alone with each other. But things changed after the 'grad incident'-it's what we call it now.

"Something's up, right?" he comes back out from the kitchen with beers and throws me one.

"Thanks."

"Where's the wife, now? Sleeping?"

"No, out." He opens the bottle of beer and takes a sip.

"Then what were you doing naked?" I ask with slight confusion.

"That my friend, is none of your business." He takes another sip and I shudder with disgust.

"So what's wrong now? Did you finally give the bitch the boot?" he grins at me.

"Kenny!"

"Alright, alright. I'll take that as a no." He puts his drink down and leans in comfortably on the couch to ready himself for long hours of listening to my complaining.

I finger the cap on the bottle. "Kenny, do you ever think of someone else while you and your wife are...you know, together?"

He raises an eyebrow at my stupid question. "Why would I think of anyone else?"

"I mean, does your mind ever wander to another person?"

He gives me another quizzical look at he reaches for his beer, obviously telling himself that I make as much sense as I did the first time. "I usually only think of the one that's most important to me at the moment. So no, Kyle. I don't think of anyone else besides my wife."

I open my bottle and take a long sip. "I see..." I say with disappointment. So I am the only one having this problem.

Kenny sighs. "Still thinking of Stan, huh? And after all these years too." He chuckles with amusement.

"It's not funny, Kenny. And don't make it sound like that. Just because he's been on my mind doesn't mean anything. I just want to know why my mind keeps wandering off to him."

Kenny shrugs lazily. "I wouldn't know..."

He's such a liar. He probably just doesn't want to say anything that will piss me off. And I know he's committed to the whole 'staying out of my problem so I can figure it out myself' thing, but he must have some kind of comment on the situation. He can't not have anything to say. It's Kenny for crying out loud.

"You're just saying that." I sip my beer again.

"Yeah."

"I could tell you what I think, but you probably don't want to hear it." He suggests.

He's right I don't want to hear it. I know that he's going to tell me that Wendy is no good for me and that the only good thing about her is her body and that's it. He's going to say that I should dump her and call up Stan to make up with him. That I should just stop making myself believe that I love Wendy and face the music. That's what he would say. Shit, that's what he said to me the day I started dating Wendy.

"I'm only saying that, if you really love Wendy then why the fuck are you always thinking of Stan when you two are fucking?" he states casually.

"Dammit, Kenny. It's because I lost my best friend. Of course I'm going to think back to him once in a while."

Kenny rolls his eyes and places his beer down on the table. "And it has to be during sex?"

"It's not just during sex! It's when we're on dates too! I mean...! No! DAMMIT!" I struggle with myself. I honestly don't know what I should stay to make this sound less fucked up than it already is. Either answer is wrong and the latter answer doesn't make the former sound any less confusing.

"Okay, look Broflovski." His seriousness scares me for a minute. "First, you came to me with your problem, so stop countering everything I say. And second, you don't love Wendy. There I said it for the millionth time since you decided to go crazy and hook up with her." He throws his hands into the air to emphasize his point.

"Kenny..."

"No, I'll tell you what I think and if you get pissed off and never talk to me again I don't give a fuck."

I bite back on my lower lip. "Alright. Spill it."

Kenny studies me for a moment and hesitates which surprises me because Kenny is definitely not the type that's indecisive about anything. "You know what. Forget it." He stands up "You should be getting home."

"What? No, you're going to tell me!" I stand up after him and am in his face, practically yelling at him.

"Just...not now. Okay?" he tells me and leads me out the his door.

I take his hesitation as a bad sign and decide to just comply with him. But when I turn around to tell him I'll probably stop by sometime soon, he has already shut the door in my face. I stand there bewildered for a minute, trying to figure out why he wouldn't just tell me. I know that it couldn't have been the fact that he's afraid of me yelling at him. He's never afraid of me nor does he give a crap about offending Wendy so that's definitely out of the question.

I sigh in annoyance after realizing that he had pushed me out without my shoes and also deciding not to further question things since it's best to just leave it for now. There's no point, I can never figure Kenny out.

"Kenny! I need my shoes..." I knock on his door.

The door opens slightly and out comes flying my shoes into my face. The door closes again and I hear the lock click.

"Weirdo..." I mumble to myself as I pull my shoes on.

During my way home my eyes start to water uncomfortably. I'm not crying over anything it's what I get for leaving in my contacts for so long. I knew I should've gone back to get my glasses after midway to Kenny's place but I didn't think I would be out for this long today. Damn, I should've just cut my stay at Kenny's a bit shorter.

I rub my eyes instinctively and they start to itch even more. I groan as they start to sting and water more.

"Shit." I curse deciding that it's best to find a restroom to take them out for a while to let my eyes rest. My vision is starting to blur so I need to go fast.

I quickly pace into South Park mall and head for the men's restroom near the entrance. Thank god, the designer of this building was smart to place one nearby otherwise I wouldn't have known where the fuck I was heading.

I go to the sink and take out my contacts as quickly as I can even though it doesn't help all that much. The pain is still scorching through my eyes, making more tears flood them. I lean over the sink and hold a hand on my eyes to compose myself. I just hope no on walks in, they might think I'm crying.

I hear the door swing open and curse my luck. Maybe he won't say anything and just leave me be, that's what most strangers do anyway.

"Hey, you okay?"

I don't turn my head but only nod. "Yeah, it's just these damn contacts you know." I chuckle still holding my eyes in pain.

"Ah." He says understandably. "Looks like you need some eye drops."

"Yeah, no kidding." I laugh back at the stranger. It's not very like me to joke with someone I don't know, but anything to get him off my back. Suddenly I feel him softly taking hold of my hand and placing something in it.

I squint open my eyes and could barely make out what it is. Without my glasses or contacts my vision sucks. I can barely see two feet in front of me thanks to all the studying I did back in school.

"Eye drops." He says knowing full well that I can't see squat. "I just went shopping and happened to buy it. Just thought you could use it more than I do."

"Thanks." I try to make out his facial features but he's already walked too far for me to see. The only thing I can tell is him washing his hands and is now drying them off at the dryer further down the restroom.

"Don't mention it. You should take better care of yourself." And with that he left, leaving me a bit dumbfounded and yet relieved that I can finally get rid of this pain from my eyes.

Talk about an odd encounter.

* * *

Chapter 6 END- TBC


	7. Pranked

Chapter 7

Pranked

**Kyle**

The eye drops worked wonders for my eyes and I am just so thankful that someone just happened to be there when I needed it the most. Maybe my luck is starting to turn around for once. I mean I do deserve a break from reality after going through so much crap up till this day. Fate must have taken pity on me and sent me an angel with eye drops. Am I finally forgiven for my past mistakes?

I laugh at myself for referring to a complete strange as my angel. I couldn't even make out his features through the blurriness so I shouldn't be comparing him to an angel. For all I know, he could've been some kind of homeless weirdo who followed me to the mall just to get a thrill out of giving me...eye drops? Okay, so I guess that doesn't make any sense at all. But regardless, I just wish he had stayed long enough for me to thank him properly, homeless weirdo or angel.

Or at least allowed me to say goodbye since I most likely won't see him again.

I lay back in bed for a nap. Okay, so today wasn't exactly the best day in my life but it also wasn't the worse either. I just wish I can see that guy again; his aura just had something trustful about him that made me feel very natural around him despite the fact that I couldn't see him at all.

I close my very tired and sore eyes to rest them. Some sleep should do me some good and maybe I can conjure up a mental image of that guy in my dreams. Who knows I might get lucky and get an accurate picture of him somehow.

(Monday Morning)

Ike's official graduation ceremony is coming up this Friday and I want to make sure that I'm there for the little bugger. Not that I wouldn't be there otherwise. The little guy's finally going onto university and I want to be there to see it. I want to see his high school year end in a memorable way rather than what happened with me years before. I want to see what it's like to be walking down the stage and receiving a diploma with pure happiness evoking from Ike; not a fake look of content when in reality there is deep suffering beneath the surface. Not like the way Stan and I managed to ruin both of our last years in high school together.

I walk around the school hallway and look around to make sure the grade twelve posters reminding students to attend the last prom of the year are up and ensuring that graduates have paid the proper fees to rent grad gowns and yada, yada, yada...same old shit like back when I was in high school. Nothing's changed much in five years.

I notice shreds of what looks like what was once a poster and grumble in annoyance. I make my way other to the very badly ripped down poster to fix it and sigh to myself. Well, unlike in my day where students tend to leave these kinds of things on the walls alone, kids today seem like they will wreck anything that's considered an eyesore. And it's even more insulting to me since I worked on these posters with the help my some of the students in my class.

I bring the shredded pieces up and decide that there's no point in fixing it when here's already so many stuck on the walls. One less poster isn't going to kill anyone. Except a tree.

"Broflovski!"

"Jesus!" I jump and throw the poster pieces back on the floor. Ugh. The principal.

"Morning, Mrs. Johnson." I say back politely after realizing it's her as I bend down to gather up the shreds of paper again. Did she really have to sneak up on me this early in the morning? I mean it would have been better if she cleared her throat to warn me, or even better, walked in loud steps so I know that I'm not the only one in the hallway.

"Yes, a great morning indeed. Especially for a Monday." She says sarcastically.

Goddammit, what the hell does she want now?

"Uh hm." I fake enthusiasm in my voice just to get her to back the hell off of me. I already made a bad impression on her on my first day of teaching so I don't want to get on that side again just when we're starting to tolerate each other.

"How was the meeting a couple of days ago."

'Boring' is what I want to say to her. There wasn't any point in making that meeting mandatory for all teachers at Denver High to attend. Honestly, it was a complete waste of a few days and money to stay at a nearby hotel just because the school was too freaking cheap to provide the living expenses for us. Not only that, but we were all forced to sit there for hours listening boring talk about how new staff will be coming to our school and how we're all expected to treat them with the same respect as we do with each other. I'm just amazed how they still treat working adults like a bunch of fourth graders.

"It was fine." I glance around the hall to try to spot any other posters that are in need of finding a new home in the trash.

"And you know all of the rules regarding your teaching position and your way around the school?"

"Yes..." I answer and I think by now she's starting to understand that this conversation isn't getting either of us anywhere. Even I can recognize the boredom in my voice.

"Then can you do me a favour?" she asks suddenly.

This sparks a bit of my interest. She's actually asking me to take part in an important school activity? Does this mean she finally accepts me as a proper staff member in the school instead of a do-gooder-who-doesn't-know-when-to-shut-up?

"Sure. I don't mind." I answer not caring what she wants me to do. I'm just happy that I'm finally given something else to occupy my spare time other than making stupid posters that will get ripped down anyways.

"Good. I need to you to show a new staff around the school after lunch. You can do that, right?" she stops walking and rests both of her hands on her hips, showing that she only expects one answer to that rhetorical question.

"Of course." I reply simply.

"Thank you, Broflovski." She pats me on the shoulder and walks by me. "Just swing by the main office and I'll introduce you two. We need him to fill out some paper work so just be patient when you arrive." She says and cocks a smile and studies me for a moment, almost reminding me of how Kenny looks at me sometimes. "You know, you guys should get along, you're about the same age."

I don't know why age difference will determine whether two people can get along but I shrug it off and she walks away from me. She clearly hasn't seen just how 'well' Cartman and I get along and we're the same age. I should bring him over one day just to prove her wrong. But then again, I don't think it's such a good idea to bring together two people that hate me.

"Oh." I say and she turns around. "How does he look like? You know just in case I bump into him in the hallway."

She places a hand on her hips with the other one on her chin as she studies me again. "Better looking than you."

Ugh.

**Kenny**

"Kenny! You gotta help me!"

"Alright! Calm the fuck down, Ike!" I reassure the panicking voice on other side of the phone. He's been screaming that for five minutes already and I still don't know what the hell he's freaking out for. He's woke me up this early and if he doesn't tell me the reason soon I'm going to really be mad. I hate being woken for stupid reasons.

I clutch the phone and switch ears so I can sit up from our bed. "IKE! What the fuck is the problem?"

The poor kid sounds like he's on the brink of tears and it's starting to tug the worry inside of me. The way he's huffing and hyperventilating is freaking me out in so many ways that even I'm on the border of panicking myself. I tell him to calm down and to slowly explain everything to me and that I'll do my best to help him. Man, just what the hell happened to this poor kid?

"K-Kyle..." he begins.

Kyle? Oh shit. What the hell happened now?

"T-today's the last day to purchase prom tickets at Kyle's school. A-and I forgot to tell Kyle to get them for me!" he yells into the phone and blubbers uncontrollably.

Oh so that's the problem? With the way he was talking, I could have mistaken him for confessing to murder or rape. God, the kid really needs to control his emotions before calling for help, especially for something this trivial.

"It's okay. Just calm down, Ike." I get up and pull on a shirt. " Why don't you call Kyle?" I suggest while running my hand through my messed up hair.

"He's not allowed to take phone calls at school." He whines.

I grab a pair of socks and pull them on since I know where this phone conversation is going to lead. "That's stupid." I chuckled into the speaker. "His school's not far from my place, I'll take a little walk over there around lunch okay? I have to pick up some groceries before work anyways." I suggest.

"Would you? Oh man! Thank, Ken! I owe you one!" his exclaims excitedly on the other end with his previous breathing problem gone.

"Sure, sure. I just don't want you to die from a nervous breakdown. Take care." I hang up and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then grab some breakfast on the way out.

I smile to myself thinking that I'm still a sucker for young love.

At exactly noon I arrive at Denver High just when the lunch bell rings through the school. The place isn't too bad for an old building. A bit too antique for my liking but nonetheless pretty classy and rich looking. Those nicely curved deco designs and lifelike statues at the front tells me that this isn't an ordinary school that people like me could get into without paying an arm or a leg. Everything here just reeks of rich people and I already feel out of place without even stepping into the school. Fuck, maybe it was a bad idea to come here after all. But it's also a bad idea standing out here and staring suspiciously at the school.

Walking inside, the hallways swarm with students getting ready to go for lunch. Some head out the front and some run to the cafeteria with their friends laughing about God knows what. At least the kids here look normal enough and not all high class snobby like the school's appearance. I overhear a couple of girls at the side giggling sheepishly at me as they greet me with a flirtatious look when I look over at the noise during my walk. At least they act like normal teenagers as well.

I follow the sign that directs "All visitors must report to the main office" and turn the corner to the big ass office that anyone could see a mile away. No point in looking for Kyle myself if I run a risk of getting thrown out with looking suspicious.

I knock on the office door and the secretary looks up from her phone. "Yes?" she smiles as she covers the speaker part of the phone with her hand.

"I'm looking for Kyle Broflovski. It's...er...an emergency." I state remembering back to Ike's reaction when he called me.

"Okay, and you are?" she bats her eyes at me as a crappy attempt to flirt.

"Kenny. I'm his friend."

"Alright just one moment." She goes back to the phone and I'm left standing around waiting for her to finish. She glances at me a few times and looks back at her note pad with her face as red as a tomato, continuing her talk about having a new staff at the school or something like that. When she finally finishes her phone call, she gets up and tells me to wait a few minutes since she needs to drop off a bunch of papers before getting Kyle. She seems reluctant to leave me with the way she just keeps talking and going on about how if I have any questions I shouldn't hesitate to stay after school to ask her. She evens touches the side of my arm after saying that and a feeling of disgust runs through my body. Though, I do applaud her attempts to flirt with me, but with my wife being the only one on my mind she doesn't even register as attractive to me. Hence the disgusted feeling. I finally shoo her away with my disinterest in her conversation and she hurries out of the office, disappointed when I flashed her a look at my wedding ring by conveniently scratching my nose right when she looked at my face.

And this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened to me. Curse my wretched good looks.

As I wait and more and more time passes by, I get restless and start walking around the office, looking at the various books placed in the tall shelf in front of me. There's a few year books and office documents kept in large binders and unfortunately none of them interest me the least. I look around some more to try and find something more interesting to distract me from boredom.

That's when the computer the secretary was seated at attracts my attention. I smile and make my way over to the black keyboard. I'm pretty sure she won't mind me playing a bit of cards or mindsweeper until she gets back. Besides, I can always seduce my way out of trouble if worse comes to worse.

I take the liberty of ridding the screensaver to begin my fun. But what I see in front of me proves to be more fun than any game of cards or mindsweeper. As I read through the information in front of me it becomes clear that these are indeed applications regarding staff registration for this school. And not only that, but the name of the person listed brings a huge grin to my face. So school nurse, huh? Nice.

This is just perfect.

I click around with the mouse and realize that I'm in full access of editing whatever information that is in front of me. I can do whatever I want and this power makes me feel that this is a perfect opportunity that I just cannot pass up for the life of me. Sure, I've sworn that I wouldn't interfere anymore, but this isn't exactly 'interference.' I'm just merely playing a prank for my own horrible amusement with no other intention behind it. There, no one can argue with that.

I take a quick glance towards the door and return to the screen to make the necessary changes that I have in mind. This is so bad, I haven't done anything like this in so long and it makes me feel reckless again even though it's not something super hardcore. For a twenty-three year old, I sure feel like a naughty sixteen year old again. Doing something so sneaky and yet having the feeling of getting caught any moment brings even more excitement to me.

I hit save and there. Done.

No one will suspect a thing. Well, no one except for the actual person who just fell victim to my little prank.

I chuckle quietly to myself and return to my previous waiting position in front of the main desk. I nearly jump out of my skin when Kyle comes rushing through the office entrance only seconds after, looking for me. Talk about a close call. Had I took any longer...I shudder at the thought.

"Kenny. The secretary said you needed me because of an emergency?" he approaches me with worry written all over his face.

I smile back to reassure him that it's not a life threatening emergency. "Don't worry, dude. It's an emergency, but not THAT kind of emergency."

Kyle takes a seat next to me "What?" he scratches his head.

"Okay, well to Ike it's an emergency but it's not the type where someone is dying or whatever." I try to explain. I realize after a while that I'm not making any more sense than I did the first time so I just outwardly spill it. "Ike wants you to buy prom tickets for him and his little girlfriend. Apparently it's the last day to get them?"

Kyle rolls his eyes. "Oh, Jesus. He made you come all the way here for something that stupid?"

I can understand why Kyle would be irritated with Ike's request but I also understand why Ike would freak out over something like this, so I automatically jump to his defence. It seems like the trauma from high school has rendered Kyle incapable of remembering how it feels like to be in love with someone. Not that he would know with Wendy.

"Oh comon, dude! Aren't you being a bit too hard on him? This is clearly very important to Ike."

Kyle doesn't respond but only looks more annoyed than usual, and this is turn just annoys the fuck out of me.

"Just don't yell at him when you get home, alright?"

Kyle shakes his head. "I mean what the hell's the big deal with this whole prom thing? Is it that important that he must bother everyone else and involve them?" he complains as he sits myself down next to me in the lounge chairs .

"I think he wants to spend some time with her before they part." I reply matter-of-factly.

"He's still young. And they're going to be apart for a long time! Do you honestly think they would last? It's just stupid puppy love." He exclaims loudly and I thanks God that no one else is in this office with us.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. And from Kyle, the one who's suppose to be the voice of reason out of all of us. He's being such a hypocrite right now that it's not even funny. I don't know if he has forgotten that he was even younger than Ike when Stan and him were in love with each other, or he is just refusing to remember something like that in order to not bring up baggage from the past, but he is, for once, being the irrational one here.

"I gotta get going." I get up from my seat. "If you're that bothered by this whole thing, I'll get Ike the prom tickets, okay?"

Kyle shakes his head in defeat. "No. It's fine. I'll pick them up. You just go on home." He waves me off from his seated position.

I nod. "See you later."

The more I look at Kyle the more it seems as though he's jealous of Ike's relationship with that girl. When he was talking, his eyes were filled with regret and also questions about why he and Stan couldn't have turned out the way Ike's and his girlfriend did. I could tell when Kyle started yelling about Ike troubling me, he really wasn't mad about that, he was more angry at the fact that the only thing that Ike has to worry about in his relationship are stupid prom tickets. Whereas he and Stan...well, you know. I'm sure Kyle's anger is rooted in wishing that he was as lucky as Ike to only worry about prom tickets with Stan.

I feel sorry for him.

Kyle also gets up from his seat and follows me out "Oh you're leaving too?" I ask him.

"No, I'm supposed to show some new guy around the school. I don't know why they would ask me though. I'm pretty new here, myself." He shrugs.

I grin at this. This is more than just perfect. Not only did they 'happen' to ask Kyle of all the staff here to show the new guy around, but my little prank back there plays into this even better now. If all goes well, it'll be the most awesome thing that's ever happened in these five years. No it'll be the most epic thing and to think I'm the one responsible for it. But more importantly, things will finally start to turn around for poor Kyle.

I hope.

"Where are you going after this, Kenny?" he asks when he stops walking and leans on the wall across the office.

I stop a bit ahead of him."Grocery shopping." I say simply.

"Okay, I'll come by your place sometime. I gotta wait for them to show up with the new guy." He glances at his wrist watch impatiently, indicating that they must be late with him.

I almost laugh out loud at Kyle's cluelessness. I do wish they would hurry it up with the new guy already. I would love to be here when to see Kyle's reaction when they show up, but I have to hurry if I don't want to be late for work later. Besides, I can hear all about it when Kyle comes by to complain later.

"I should get going, dude." I turn a around and wave a hand at him. "You can tell me all about it later."

He grumbles something and nods towards me. I wonder what will happen when they do show up with the new worker? I can just imagine Kyle's reaction but I wonder how would the other guy react. That will be an interesting thing to think about on the way home. Amusing too.

This is going to be so interesting.

* * *

Chapter 7 END- TBC


	8. He's On Your Mind II

Chapter 8

He's On Your Mind II

**Kyle**

It's been a full twenty minutes since Kenny had left and I am left standing here still waiting for them to arrive with the new guy. Just what is so big about this guy that they have to take so freaking long to bring him here to meet me? The last time I had my tour around the school, it didn't even take five minutes because the teacher showing me around just couldn't wait to get the hell out of my sight. Not only that, I had to find the office all by myself rather than being lead up here nicely by the staff.

Ungrateful asses.

I continue waiting in front of the office with my patience running out with the longer I'm left standing here staring around at the hallway. I huff, wishing to myself that Kenny didn't leave so soon. At least then I could have had someone there to talk to while waiting. Even if it is someone annoying as he is.

I glance to the side and finally see the secretary approaching me. But she oddly doesn't have anyone with her.

"Mr. Broflovski!" she runs up out of breath.

I eye her for a moment and then ask "Uh...am I showing anyone around the school or not?" I know I sound like a total ass right now, but I'm just about out of patience.

"I'm sorry! But the new guy is dealing with an injured student now." She apologizes.

I look at her confused. "What?"

"A student slipped on the main stairs in the foyer and really sprained her ankle when she fell. He's dealing with her right now until her parents arrive to take her home."

"Oh, I see." I say understandably. It's true, it wouldn't be my place to be complaining in this kind of situation but I still feel a slight bit of frustration at the thought of being late for something that should've been done a long time ago.

"I'm sorry!" she apologizes again. "I'm afraid this is going to have to wait until after school. Sorry again, for making you wait out here for nothing."

I mentally roll my eyes. "That's fine." I push myself off the wall I was leaning on. Lunch is almost over anyways so I mind as well head back to my classroom for the last ten minutes of relaxation that I have, which sucks ass. Another thing I hate next to having my time wasted is not having enough time to enjoy my lunch properly. This new guy better be worth interrupting my lunch break. He better not be like the rest of the snobby staff in this so called 'high-classed' school. And most of all, he better become my friend, as gay as that sounds.

I sigh as I close the classroom door once I made my way back. I better saviour these last ten minutes of bliss while I can.

After the lunch bell rang I finish up what's left of my lunch quickly and move onto erase my previous lesson on the chalkboard. Fourth period is my least favourite class to teach because it's entirely made up of a ninth grade class that's coincidentally the least mature out all of the older classes that I teach. I don't think I have had a day without having to yell at them for not paying attention or disrupting the class talking to their neighbours. The guys in the class give me the hardest time because apparently to them I'm an asshole for doing my job and scolding them when they act like idiots while I teach. Or in other words, I should be cutting them some slack and stick by them because we're all 'bros' here. The girls are a different story though. They don't bitch at me or think that I'm an inconsiderate bastard for scolding them. They thrive on that. They would do anything and I mean anything, to get my attention whether it's bad or good. One time a girl asked me for help on one of her assignments and when I bent over to help her, her other friend next to her leaned over and gave my ass a good pinch before sitting down. When I had looked over at her in the most shock I've felt in the longest time, she just mouthed the words "nice ass" to me and giggled. I don't think I've ever felt so violated. I guess I should mention that this is another reason why the guys hate me, apparently I'm stealing all the girls' attention away from them.

I shudder at the memory. The ass-pinching happened near the first month of me working here and I'm still not over it. Jesus. I don't exactly see anything nice about my ass.

I start writing today's lesson on the board while the students start coming in. As usual, I get glares from some of the jocks and giggles from pretty much all the girls that I greet.

I finally turn around to face the class. "How's everyone doing today?" I ask as I wipe the chalk dust off of my hands.

"Fine. Now that we have you teaching us." Giggles one of the girls near the back along with her friends. The guy sitting in front of her rolls his eyes.

"Alright, alright. I'm sure that's not the only reason why you came to school today." Although I'm starting to highly doubt that. Sexually harassing me are these girls' specialty.

"Oh my gawd, Mr. Broflovski! Have you checked out the new school nurse today?" she exclaims excitedly which draws the attention of the whole class.

I put down the papers I'm about to hand out. "No, I didn't. Why?"

The girls squeal and I look at them as if they're out of their freaking little minds. "Okay! So our friend totally tripped down the stairs right?" she begins and I nod. So it was a girl from my class that hurt herself, I should check up on her afterwards. "And she totally couldn't get up and we were like freaking out 'cause she was in sooo much pain. Then this dreamy guy comes up and helps her by picking her up bridal style!" she squeals again. "Then he brings her to the infirmary to care for her and even called her parents himself!" she sighs with pleasure. "Oh yeah! He even stayed with her and chatted until her parents arrived! He's so sweet!"

I chuckle at their reactions. "Wow, he sounds like quite the guy, huh?" I'm sure he's just doing his job since that is what he was trained for in the first so the girl's shouldn't act like he's Prince Charming or whatever. But still, the fact that he called her parents and stayed with her even though he could have left her with someone else since he had other plans is pretty nice. Not many of the teachers here would do something like that. It's always their needs before their students'. I like to think that I'm not like the other teachers, which is why I take to time to care about what's best for them rather than myself. So I guess he is a good guy after all and if that's the reason why he didn't show then I have no right to be mad.

"But I just love his face. He's just so gorgeous." The girl coos but then looks up at me with alert. "But you're gorgeous too, Mr. Broflovski!"

I laugh again. "Okay, okay...let's move onto our lessons and then you girls can drool over the school nurse all you want after school." I gather the handouts on my desk.

"Alright." She rolls her eyes playfully.

As I hand out the papers I tell the girls jokingly "You know a guy's looks isn't all that matters. You should pay more attention to his personality or his talents. It's not really fair to us men" I suggest as I hear a few agreements from the boys close by.

"No, no! It's just that, it's the first time I've seen such pretty blue eyes on a boy." The girls said.

I give her a handout. Blue eyes, huh? I don't get what's so special about them, a lot of my friends have that colour. Like Kenny, Craig, Butters, Clyde...maybe Tweek too? I can't tell the guy's too busy twitching his eyes and blinking for me to properly notice.

"And I just love how it contrasts his hair too!" her other friend says.

I make my way to the other side of the class with the handouts. "Oh? How so?" Now I'm getting curious along with the rest of the class who hasn't seen him. Just what's so great about his looks, I wonder. Light eyes and dark hair is what I'm assuming she's referring to.

"He has the most beautiful black hair ever!" she girl sighs.

"A guy with long flowing black hair and blue eyes? Sounds like a pansy to me." A boy seated at the front snorts and his friends high-five him.

"Oh shut up! I never said he had long hair you idiot! His hair is short, but not too short! It's perfectly combed too. Oh! I can't explain it! He's just gorgeous." she mumbles with frustration.

Short dark hair? Blue eyes?

I don't know why that tugs at me a momentarily but I laugh to myself anyways and ignore it. Sounds like they're talking about Craig but he's far from the ideal Prince Charming character they're describing. He's more like...a dick. Plus, he's far from gorgeous. Good looking but not gorgeous. And his eyes aren't pretty since they're always glaring 24/7. Plus, his hair always looks like he had just rolled out of bed. I smirk inwardly as I imagine the way he would react if I said that to his face.

"Okay, let's hurry up with the lesson. I'm going to see him later anyways, so no need to describe him to me."

The girls stare at me and whisper to one another, making me fear that another plot of sexual harassment may be on its way. "Alriiight." The one that was talking winks at me and returns to studying her handout.

Just what the fuck was that about?

(After School)

Class went the way it usually did with the exception of all the jocks glaring at me for once. They all probably appreciated my little speech about the inside of a guy is all that matters rather than their looks and felt less inclined to rip on me the way they usually do. Thus, today wasn't too bad. The girls were less touchy too, only a few giggles and whispers and that was it. Good thing the spared me a day of harassment. But I do wonder what they were exactly whispering about every time I looked at them. It's not like them to make fun of me unless it's in a flirtatious manner.

I finish up packing the assignments that are waiting to be marked later tonight and head out the class room with my briefcase. I just hope I don't end up falling asleep half way through the papers. Otherwise, I'll get a good yelling from my mom like what happened two weeks ago. Sometimes it feels like I'm still a student being scolded by their mom for procrastinating on homework. Except when I was a student I never left homework to the last minute. I guess over the years I just let myself slip; I just don't look forward to doing anything anymore since everything just seemed to have lost its spark after high school. If I had knew what adulthood would be like I wouldn't have been so excited to graduate university and planning out my future.

I check the time on my watch and it's still a few minutes too early to be meeting up with the new guy. So I decide to take my time heading to the main office.

I start heading in the direction of the office when I suddenly remember that I need to check up on the girl who hurt herself earlier today. It's probably a better idea to meet up with the nurse a little early to get the contact information off of him instead. Also, he can tell me about her condition so I can have an idea when I should be expecting her back in class. The last thing I need is for her parents to think I'm an insensitive prick rushing their daughter back to school when she's not even ready.

I turn around and head to the opposite direction to the infirmary. It's strange but I suddenly feel excited at the possibility of getting to know someone who's not a stuck up snob in this school as I head closer to the room. Judging by all of the good things the kids have said about him I think I can get along with him pretty well. Snobs are one thing I hate and if he's not then him and I have a good chance of getting along pretty well. Who knows, maybe I can finally have a friend here and not spend the majority of my lunch breaks marking assignments or being harassed by the girls in my class. And maybe...I can look forward to coming to school every day.

I quicken my pace, trying to squeeze in as much extra time I can to talk with the guy. I just hope those girls haven't stayed after school to talk to him, I want to be the one who gets to know him first. I mentally hit myself. Just look at me, I'm beginning to feel like some school girl meeting the guy she likes. I'm just glad nobody is here to see me act like this. Especially Kenny.

As I approach the door I walk up and knocked on it a few times. Why is my heart pounding in my chest so hard? I really hope that it's from walking so quick and not from my nerves at meeting the freaking school nurse! But then again, I'm not that out of shape.

"Come in." I hear a muffled voice through the door.

I wonder why that sparked a bit of nostalgia in me for a brief moment (1).

I open the door and step in completely, gathering the comforting environment in the infirmary. I haven't been in here since my first tour around the school and it's nice to know that it's bringing me the same soothing feeling as it did the first time I stepped in here. A feeling way different from the kind a hospital makes you feel.

I close the door behind me and glance at the back of the person seated at the desk. Well what do you know, he does look a bit like Craig. From the back at least. And it's only because he has black hair and about the same build as him. Unless it is Craig...it better not be Craig. I wouldn't want to be working with that dick everyday and have him flip me the bird every time we pass in the halls. People will probably think there's something going on between us. My students will bug me even more when...

"Can I help you?" he turns around and looks at me.

I don't know if it is because I had convince myself to expect that it's actually Craig sitting at the desk or maybe it is because I was 'hoping' that it was Craig but the feeling I felt once he turned around was surreal. I can't even grasp a good description on how to even describe the feeling in the first place. That's how otherworldly it felt. And even that's not even close to the word I'm looking for to describe the sensation inside of me. All I can do is stare.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

We are both speechless.

My face starts warming up as floods of memories from five years ago drowns me as I continue staring at him. The hurt, the happiness, the anger from the past are all felt simultaneously as I try to gather my thoughts in a comprehensible manner to say something or anything to break this silence. The uncomfortable silence that suddenly makes this place anything but welcoming, creating an atmosphere that can be at best described as confining. The feeling of wanting to run for it with everything I've got and the obligation to stay envelops me as I stand there with only space between us.

I'm trapped and yet I could easily leave.

I feel my breathing quicken with every passing minute standing here absorbing his gaze. That girl was right, he does have the prettiest eyes. And the most piercing eyes too might I add. How could I have forgotten this after five years?

I breath harshly a few times to calm myself and he looks at me with concern, readying himself to save me in case I pass out from lack of oxygen. "...S-st..." I stutter.

He stands up in alarm and paces over to me to make sure that I'm okay.

"Stan!"

He stops in his steps and looks at me, making it hard for me to tell how he feels just from reading his face.

"I...uh...I..." I cringe at my failed attempts to break the ice. I'm such a moron, he probably thinks I'm retarded or something. Standing here staring like an idiot and barely being able to form a proper sentence.

"Ky..."

I look up at him and he's having the same problem even though we're still looking right at each other. He struggles to keep his eyes on me and I know that he wants to break our eye contact but just can't. The feeling of wanting to look away and yet needing to look at the person is so strong in this room that it's practically suffocating the both of us.

"It's good to see you." He says and there's a faint smile on his face as he looks away briefly, finally breaking his eye contact with me.

"Y-yeah..." I struggle to catch my breath. This is nuts. No not nuts...surreal is more like the proper word. It's just I never imagined myself meeting Stan again five years later at a school, especially what him as our school nurse? This is unreal! Stan Marsh the nurse.

I resist the urge to reach out and touch him to make sure I'm not just imagining the person standing in front of me as Stan when in reality he's someone completely different. But he looks too real to be a hallucination. Godammit, I want to ask him so many questions. Like for one, why and when the hell did he decide to become a nurse and what he has been up to all these years? There's just too many things I want to know but can't since he probably doesn't want to be bombarded by questions on his first day. Especially from me...someone he's had a falling-out with five years ago.

Before I can even say anything, the door behind me swings open and harshly knocks me from behind, making me lose my balance.

"Ouch..." I rub the back of my head slightly and turn around to find Mrs. Johnson looking a bit surprised when realizing it was me she hit.

"Oh, Mr. Broflovski!" she says with surprise.

Surprise my ass...she must have enjoyed realizing it was me she had hit with the door. Old bat...

"I didn't expect to find you here!" she laughs. "Oh well, since you're here anyways you can start showing him around the school a bit early."

Stan and I glance at each other and I could have sworn that he looked terrified out of his wits when she said that I will be the tour guide for his little trip. I honestly don't blame him though, I'm just as scared myself.

"I'll be off now, make sure you lock up when you're done." She says as she starts heading out the door.

"Wait! You're not coming with us?" I ask her frantically and I'm sure Stan wanted to ask the same thing judging by his reaction.

"Are you kidding? I have better things to do than walk around the school with someone I don't even know." She slams the door in our faces.

What an inconsiderate bitch. So she assumes that I have no life whatsoever?

I look over at Stan who still has his eyes glued on the door as if something he couldn't believe just happened. "Uh...she's like that every day." I reason with him and his eyes quickly shoots back at me.

"I...I see..." he chuckles nervously without keeping eye contact with me.

We both go quiet for a long time as we stand here awkwardly waiting for some sign to tell us what to do. I can hear him fiddling with the collar of his blue shirt while I pick at my fingernails anxiously. Should I say something? Should I tell him how much I wanted to talk to him all these years and that I would give anything to take back the bad things that resulted in the way our current situation is now? Should I tell him what I've been up to all these years and what I've been longing for?

"You have to show me around right?" he says and brings me out of my thoughts.

Or maybe I should take it slow.

"Yeah, come on." I open the door for us to leave the infirmary. He takes his bag and locks up the office before we head out.

"It's a nice place around here." He says as he looks around the hall.

"It's alright. Too classy though, in Kenny's words." I smile a bit when he lights up at the mention of Kenny's name.

"Kenny? How's he doing?" he smiles genuinely and I immediately feel relieved that the tension is somewhat gone.

"Oh, he's doing great." I begin. "Still with his wife too." I add.

Stan laughs "Wow, that sounds great."

"And best of all, they might be getting a place near Denver High so that's even better! So we might see him quite often." My grin widens. Now that I think about it, maybe my life is starting to get better. Stan's back so we can rebuild what we left behind years ago and Kenny will be able to see us more often after he moves here. It'll be like the good old days again with our group, well, with the exception of Cartman of course.

"Y-yeah." He smiles sheepishly again. Probably drown in the same thoughts as me.

After we circle around the school we stop at the exit. "Well, that's all for today. I hope you don't get lost without me tomorrow." I joke and he chuckles back. Joking aside, throughout the whole tour we weren't exactly the most chatty people. It mostly consisted of me pointing out where each room lead to and where the staff rooms are while he just nodded or replied with a simple "okay" to everything I said. I didn't mind though. It wasn't like he didn't want to talk to me at all. It was just a little...awkward.

"Thanks. Should I call you Mr. Broflovski?"

When I see that he's serious, it sort of bothers me. Actually it's been bothering me since the tour but I just chose to ignore it. This awkward politeness is just too strange between us. I don't mind if he really was a stranger who I knew nothing about, but this is Stan Marsh. The one who I've known since we were in diapers. The one who knows me inside and out, what my bad habits are and what my good qualities are. The one who is supposed to be far from a stranger to me. And yet, the way we are presently says otherwise. Two people who are too polite with each other because none of us will know how the other will react if something wrong is said. We didn't have this problem back then because we already knew what and what not to say. Hell, back then we still said stuff to each other that were better left unsaid and we still didn't care. But now, it feels like our past was just a figment of my imagination and the reality is this stranger standing in front of me who I know nothing about.

It took us 17 years to build our unbreakable bond and only five years to break it.

"No, Kyle is fine." I mumble.

"Alright, you can call me Stan then. It's only fair." He grins unfamiliarly. I can sense the playful tone in his voice but it's not the playfulness that I was used to when we were younger. It's just a kind of humour one would use when getting to know a stranger.

"Right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." I say enthusiastically to hid my sadness and he nods heading out the opposite direction as me.

I stop in my tracks and think for a minute. I can't let this go just yet. Maybe it's my over active mind playing tricks on me and I'm over thinking everything as usual, but whatever it is I can't let myself get caught up in the past. The only way I can mend things is to leave the past and work on what we have now. Even if he doesn't want to I have to try to be his friend again.

"Hey, Stan?" he turns around once he hears my voice.

"There's this basketball game coming up this weekend and Kenny and I are thinking of going. You want to join us? You know, catch up and stuff?" I suggest as casually as possible, trying not to show him that I'm anxious for him to say that he will come.

He shakes his head. "Sorry I don't like watching sports."

My heart sinks as he walks away. Stan Marsh does not like watching sports? Is this really the same person from before? Back then Stan would even skip school just to go to a game even if he wasn't the one playing in it. He always said that he liked to cheer along with everyone for his favourite team even if they lost. And now...

As I watch him leave I come to the realization that...

...I indeed don't know Stan Marsh anymore.

Not only that, I've completely forgotten to ask for the girl's contact information. This is the first time I've placed my priorities over a student's and I feel like utter shit.

Way to go, Kyle.

Way to fucking go.

* * *

Chapter 8 END- TBC

(1) Kyle's referring to what happened 5 years ago in Chapter 5. Where he and Stan were arguing through the door and their voices were muffled.


	9. Mr Broflovski

Chapter 9

"Mr. Broflovski"

**Kyle**

"He did what?"

I cover my ears from Kenny. My God, the idiot can be so loud sometimes especially when he's surprised like the way he is right now. That, and also when he's having... 'fun time' with his wife.

"He said he didn't want to go to the game with us. And he even said that he doesn't like watching sports."

Kenny scratches his chin for a minute. "Has he really changed that much over the years?" he wonders out loud.

"Well didn't you talk to him often when he moved away?" I ask.

"Kyle, I probably talked to him just as much as you did. I only got his number from Sharon and that was it. I tried calling but he never picked up either."

I slump on the couch in Kenny's living room, not caring what he and his wife did on it previously. I just need a place to sit while I sulk in my depression.

Kenny sighs and sits down next to me. He puts an arm around my shoulder. "Look dude, I'm just surprised that you told me he doesn't like watching sports 'cause the Stan we used to know likes-."

"-to watch sports, yeah I know, Kenny." I replied unimpressed.

"You didn't let me finish. I was also gonna say that it was a stupid move to go and ask him to hang out when you two have only 'met' for a couple of minutes." He pulls my head to rest on his shoulder.

I lean against him and ponder. It's disturbingly comfortable here. "But I couldn't help it, Kenny. I just had to know if we could rebuild from what we screwed up on in the past."

"Well, my Jew friend, rushing things won't help either of you." He chuckles with amusement.

"I resent that statement." I say back to him.

"Just take it slowly. Remember what happened at Grad when I 'rushed' things with you and Stan?"

Boy do I remember. That night was such a mess that I ended up remembering it vividly up till this day. In fact, I still have nightmares about it on some nights, especially when I'm in bed with Wendy after we have sex. This is the exact reason why I always avoid falling asleep afterwards and just head home. But to her knowledge, I'm just the kind of guy that doesn't like cuddling after sex. But that aside, Kenny's right I shouldn't rush things. None of us would want a repeat of 'The Grad Incident' again.

"Look just think of it this way. I know you and Stan were buddies before, but things are different know. You're gonna HAVE to treat him as someone you just met." He advises me seriously.

I nod in response. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks dude."

"I better get home. There's a shit ton of assignments that aren't going to mark themselves." I get up and head for his door.

"No prob. I'm just glad you came after school and filled me in. It was pretty entertaining!" he smiles at me and pats my back. "Remember slooow." he reminds me.

"Alright, alright. G'night, Ken."

The next day isn't exactly as I planned. It turned out that I did end up falling asleep in the middle of my marking in the kitchen. All those grammatically incorrect words in the essays got the best of me and I gave up. I think my mom woke me up around 3 a.m. and bitched at me to finish up grading the assignments before school started. I never felt so tired when I entered the school running on only three hours of sleep. I blame myself for being so careless and leaving my marking to the last minute. I guess I shouldn't have went out with Kenny and them every night the week when I DID have time to mark everything to my pace.

I rub my eyes and yawn. There's an hour before class starts so I don't know why Mrs. Johnson must make us teachers come to school earlier than necessary. Sometimes I think she's a sadistic bitch who likes to torture us endlessly. Oh wait. She is.

I make my way to the infirmary and lay down on one of the beds in there. They're pretty comfortable for something in a school. And clean too, surprisingly. The softness is immediately making my eyes automatically shut as I go into sleep mode. I'll wake up around 8 a.m. when the first bell goes off. That should be loud enough to wake me from my slumber. I shouldn't feel guilty, I deserve this nap. I went through a lot of shit so I need to take a break from life. I was the one who stayed up to mark work even though it was my fault in the first place. I was the one who showed Stan around the school yesterday afternoon. I was the one who helped Stan get into N.Y.U. and most of all I was the one who endured years of suffering when Stan moved away. I was the one who...zzz.

"...yle? Kyle..."

A soothing voice comes ringing through my ears. It's so soothing that I don't want to wake up even though I'm about half awake right now. I want to continue sleeping with this person's voice soothing my mind. The deep and yet soft tone that's like butter to my ears makes me want to relax more. And the more I fight it, the more I want it. I want him to keep talking to me. Maybe it's a nice dream I'm having? Maybe an angel came to visit me in my dreams.

I feel a hand on my should and I grab onto it. Maybe this is the source of the voice. I tug slightly so my angel wouldn't leave. I want him to stay by my side, continuing to call my name and relax me so I am rid of this world even if it's temporary.

"Don't leave me..."I mumble out as I finally wake up.

"Good morning to you too." Stan stares back down at me with the most amused manner.

I stare up fully awake and blink around the room. Right, I fell asleep on one of the beds in the infirmary because I was too tired to even keep myself on my two feet. I glance up and notice that Stan is staring down at me with concern, most likely wondering why I was the first thing he found when he came into this office. Now that I think about it, as I look closely at his face, he hasn't changed all that much physically in five years. Maybe a little older looking but pretty much the same face that I remember from high school. And I'm sure I didn't change that much either with the way he recognized me right away yesterday.

My other hand subconsciously reaches slightly towards his face and he flinches back.

"Uh...you okay?" he asks awkwardly.

I finally come to my senses and pull my hand back. My eyes widen even more as I realize that I've been grabbing onto his arm this whole time and really close to my chest too.

Immediately, I look back to Stan and quickly let go of his arm, almost falling off the bed.

"Sorry!" I quickly get off the bed to straighten my clothes. "I...uh...nice morning isn't it?" I stammer, changing the subject as I clear my throat.

"I suppose." He says nonchalantly as he places his things on the desk. "Hey, I'm supposed to introduce myself to all the classes today." He mentions out of nowhere and I light up. Is he trying to actually have a conversation with me? This is perfect! Now I have a chance to chat with him like a friend. And then we can rebuild our friendship again. Who knows, maybe we can be 'Super Best Friends' again!

I breathe in and out to calm myself. Stay cool, Kyle. Like Kenny said, slooowly. I can't scare him off again like yesterday.

"Oh really?" I smile in response to what he said. "That's good, cause then, everyone can get to know you!"

"Nah, I'm actually not looking forward to it. I'm really nervous." He sighs.

Crap. He's not looking forward to it. I shouldn't have said that.

"Uh...Right! It sucks ass!" I laugh nervously as he looks at me with amusement.

"You're funny." He says while digging out a few files from his bag.

Funny? Does he mean that I'm funny ha-ha or does he means that I'm funny in a retarded way? Oh God, I screwed up again! I feel so stupid, why the hell can I not learn from my mistakes? I've already made myself look dumb in front of Stan twice since meeting him for the first time and I can't imagine how things are going to go in the future. That is, if he decides to continue talking to me after making myself look like an idiot.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." He smiles. "I just hope the principal doesn't expect too much out of me today. It's only my second day after all."

"I wouldn't doubt that." I laugh in return. "The old bat put me on the spot the first day I came here. She actually made me dread coming to school for a while."

"Oh God, seriously?" he slaps the files down on the desk. "Great..."

"Don't worry I'll be your moral support when you come by to my class." I joke with him good-naturedly.

He smiles at me again and I'm suddenly feeling a weight lift off of my chest. I'm just glad he doesn't think I'm a total loser. And I have to say, this progress isn't bad. At least we're having a normal conversation this time. Hopefully we can progress slowly from here. This is going to take a lot of work and time, but if we can be friends again I'm willing to go through hell just for him.

He glances up at the clock. "You better be getting to class. Thanks for making me feel better."

My smile widens. "Sure thing. Can't wait to see you later."

I wave as I exit the door and he chuckles in return.

When I enter my classroom, I notice that I'm five minutes late. The students all go quiet when I enter and I suddenly feel a chill run down my spine. I glance around, trying to figure out if something had happened when I was gone for that short time.

"Good morning." I say awkwardly. "Did everyone finish last night's homework? We'll start by taking it up."

The class is quiet again. Usually they would groan when I talk about homework so it's a bit weird to see them quiet like this. Quiet like good students. It's even more weird because it's not one of my senior classes since I'm stuck with my ninth graders on Tuesday mornings.

I close my book and sigh. "Okay, what's going on? You all usually aren't well behaved like this."

Almost half of the class glares at me. "You know, teachers tend to practice what they preach. Not always bitch and threaten their students for being late for class and then turn around and be late themselves." The main jock by the name of Andy replies with his eyes still glued on his textbook.

I roll my eyes unimpressed. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Now can we get on with the day?" I turn back to the blackboard to write the answers from yesterday's homework.

Andy stands up from his desk. "Well, you practically scared us into being in class on time with the whole 'if I catch anyone late again they'll have detention for the whole year' thing. So I don't think it's fair that you're being such a hypocrite!"

Oh for the love of God. I turn around again and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Andy. Please...it isn't a big deal." I reason. "I was caught up with something."

"With what?" he replies.

I finger one of my red curls, suddenly feeling uncomfortable where this conversation is heading. "I...I...it's not important right now, okay?" I say feeling uneasy. Actually, ever since Stan has made his appearance in my life again, I've been uneasy about a lot of things. Even the little things that have the slightest bit of relation with him.

I clear my throat to emphasize that I want to move on with the lesson. "Alright let's continue. The faster we finish, the sooner we can move onto new material." I say and immediately regret it. No way they would want to learn anything new, they'll just keep pressing me for details to delay any new homework.

"Oh, I'm sure it was pretty important if it made you late for class, Mr. Broflovski." Andy smirks to the whole class and they all focus their attention on me, waiting for answers. If they had this much energy whenever I taught the day's lesson they all would be passing with flying colours. Kids these days are so ridiculous.

"Now that you mention it," a small brunette by the name of Clara begins. "I think I saw you coming out of the nurses office this morning. I was late to class myself so as soon as I saw you coming out I ran for it." She smiles.

Although I appreciate her honesty of ratting herself out about being late, I DO NOT like the fact that everybody's eyes widen at the mention of me being late for class because I was in the infirmary. I'm sure that I'm the only one that finds the whole idea a bit suggestive. And especially with these kids' immaturity level, things can get blown out of proportion pretty easily.

The sexual harassment clique near the back oogle me and give me a couple winks, informing me that my secret is safe with them. Andy and the rest of the jocks look at me awkwardly and I could have sworn one of them looked at Andy and blushed as he turned away.

My face starts feeling hot and that usually means that it's turning red fast, which isn't helping me in this situation at all. Instead it's just adding to it, making their assumptions seem more believable.

"It's nothing like that!" I turned around quickly and cover my face with the lesson book.

The whole class erupts with laughter and a few 'aww... that's so cute' come from the girls in the back . This is awful, I can't have the class thinking this about me when it's not even true! What would Mrs. Johnson say if this got around? She probably wouldn't fire me but use it against on any occasion that calls for it. Or even better, she'll torture me endlessly with the rumour. That sadistic bitch. But most importantly, what would Stan think? Just when I thought I have him back, I can't let this whole thing scare him off again.

I bury my head deeper at the thought.

"We won't say anything...geez." Andy grumbles awkwardly and looks away while the laughter in the classroom dies down.

I sigh. "While I appreciate that. There's nothing to hide. You all just got it wrong." I wave my hand front of them with my face still buried behind the book.

A knock at the door grabs my attention and along with the rest of the class'. My heart practically jumps for joy at the possibility of whoever it is saving me from yet another awkward situation with my students. As I make my way to the door, I continuously thank God that their attention is diverted elsewhere and not at my misfortunes for once.

I open the door to find Stan with Mrs. Johnson. "Broflovski! Let's start with your classroom first!" she bellows enthusiastically.

Oh great.

My heart suddenly sinks as I have no choice but to step aside and let them in. If it were up to me I'd slam the door in both of their faces but I would feel bad for doing that to poor Stan though. That, and my class would think I've gone crazy or something and that would just subject me to MORE questioning.

Mrs. Johnson takes her places in front the class with Stan just trailing next to her. I glance at his face and he looks less nervous than a few minutes ago much to my relief.

The principle clears her throat. "Everyone , I'd like you to meet our new nurse." She says as she points at Stan.

The whole class, the girls in particular, seem to stare in awe at their new nurse. Unlike the last nurse who was old and grumpy, Stan is young, fresh looking and is apparently a regular Prince Charming according to the girls. So the students must fine him to be extremely appealing, both boys and girls.

Stan nods slightly and gives them all a perfect smile. "Thanks, Mrs. Johnson. Please take care of me." He jokes to the class and immediately the girls erupt in squeals in which us adults quickly cover our ears.

"BROFLOVSKI! Do you not teach the importance of manners to your students?" Mrs. Johnson demands.

"It's not my fault!" I plead. I honestly don't know how many times I've used that line with her whenever she accuses me of things.

But before I can go on with begging for forgiveness, Mrs. Johnson speaks up again in front of the class. "Now, would you mind telling the class a little about yourself?" she says politely to Stan to keep up with appearances.

Stan nods and thinks for a moment. "Umm...well, I'm a pretty normal guy, I guess. I like reading, spending time with my family, and maybe watching a little T.V.?" he smiles again.

I notice that all girls have stopped blinking and are just staring mindlessly at his every movement. I doubt that they have even listened to anything he has said, they're just staring at his lips and probably imagining how it would feel like to kiss them.

"Well there you have it! Comon, Stan we still have at least thirty more classrooms to get through this morning!" she puts an arms around Stan's shoulders to give him a hard pat.

"Sounds...great." he replies.

Poor guy, I can practically hear the dread in his voice.

"Oh! Principle! You never told us what his name is!" a girl speaks up.

Mrs. Johnson snaps her finger. "Right! How can I forget such a thing? This is Stan Broflovski. You can just call him Mr. Broflovski! Am I right?" she winks at me.

Stan and I look at her with a face that I cannot even begin to describe. The best I can say is that it's a mix of embarrassment ,'what the fuck is wrong with you, you old bitch' and confusion. To make matters worse, what the class and I were discussing prior to their arrival just fucks everything up even more.

"WHAT?" Stan and I along with the whole class yells simultaneously. Our faces begins to turn beet red and we quickly turn away from the students.

Mrs Johnson flips around the files she had with her since her arrival. "It says it right here. See?" she points at the printed bold letters distinctively reading 'Stan Broflovski' and my jaw drops. Was this some sort of mistake and if it is, how the fuck does one make a mistake like this? And if this is a joke, who the hell in their right mind would do such a thing. This is far from being funny for a prank.

"You two are married, right?" she inquires.

"Omigawd! You two are married?" she girls in the back squeal with joy. "I knew it! You two had something going on this morning!" Clara points at us.

Stan pinches the bridge of his nose while I return to burying my head buried in the lesson book I had in my hands. This is so embarrassing that I don't know if I can even face my class the next day. I just know that everyone will be bothering the both of us day in and day out about this. I just want to crawl in a hole and not come out.

I pout, thinking that this will definitely scare Stan enough to transfer to another school. If not, then he'll definitely avoid me after this. I just wish there was some way for things to work out for me. Damn, it's always like this, just when things are starting to turn out, I screw up or something happens that pushes me back to square one. Then I would have to work all over again just to get back to where I was before.

Just like mine and Stan's relationship.

Mrs. Johnson glosses over the papers in annoyance. "Well, if this is indeed an error on part of our secretary, I'll be sure she fixes it. But it can't be done so easily. We have a lot of much more important paper work so it probably won't be fixed any time soon."

"That's fine." Stan replies and I look at him. "I don't mind it too much. Just as long you all refer to me as Mr. Marsh instead." Stan gives a weak chuckle to the class. Then he glances at me. "And there's nothing between Mr. Broflovski and I, so I don't want you kids to go dreaming things up." He says good naturedly but I still feel a slight tinge at what he said. Nothing between us? Couldn't he have at least added that he and I are friends? But I can't blame him, we've practically just 'met' a day ago, so I guess we're not on the friends basis yet.

"But I guess you can also call me Mr. Broflovski too, if you're just that desperate to do so." He jokes and then winks at me. My cheeks again turn red and I look away. Dammit, why am I so embarrassed, he's just a friend, er...I mean a co-worker.

"So are you guys secretly together then?" a female student asks hopefully.

"Who knows." Stan shrugs. "You'll only find out if you come to school."

I stifle a laugh. Oh I see what he's doing and it's quite amusing. I'm impressed that he's able to figure out what kind of students these kids are and use their own interest in gossip to encourage them to come to school. Maybe he'll be better off as a teacher rather than coop up in the infirmary all day as a nurse.

"Alright 'Mr. Broflovski,' we still gotta get to the other classrooms so we best be on our way." Mrs. Johnson cautions and eyes me.

Stan nods. "Alright. Nice to meet you all. See you at lunch, Broflovski." He says to me before exiting with the principle.

I turn back to the class with relief that it's all over, finally. I sigh and...

Wait. Did he just invite me to have lunch with him?

I stare at the door for a while and grin widely.

He just asked me to have lunch with him!

(Lunch Time)

We're both seated in my classroom, eating in silence. I try to busy myself with some marking while he's flipping through a magazine.

This wasn't what I had hoped for.

When he came knocking on the door of my classroom I had hoped that lunch would go by smoothly filled with idle conversation, but instead it's just awkward again. I just hope he's not in actuality bothered by the previous happenings.

"So crazy day, eh?" he suddenly speaks up and I smiled at the chance to talk to him.

"Oh yeah! Tell me about it." I laughed as I push aside the assignments and he does the same with his magazine. At least he's paying attention to me now. "So how did your other meetings with the students go?"

He cocks his head to the side and smiles. "Pretty much the same as the first time. Except Mrs, Johnson introduced me as Mr. Marsh." He laughs.

I don't know why a part of me wishes that she had presented him as Mr. Broflovski instead, but I nod anyways as I sip my coffee. "I'm glad it went well."

He rests his chin on his hand. "Hey, about that basketball game. I'll come."

I nearly spit out my coffee. "R-really? You mean it? I thought you don't like sports."

Stan sips on his juice. "I said I didn't like watching them, I never said I didn't like them in general."

"I-I see..." I stammer, feeling kind of stupid for going ahead and assuming the worse about Stan yesterday. And I can't believe I even went and blabbed all my assumptions to Kenny too. "So you still play?"

"Yeah. Back in New York I was on the university's football team and I still play every now and then just for fun." He replies.

I nod in relief. "Well, I'm glad you didn't change too much" I say.

"I wouldn't say that." He replies good-naturely. "Everyone changes one way or another over time." He gets up to throw away his garbage and then glances at his watch. "I should get back. It was nice having lunch with you."

"Yeah same here." I reply and he leaves me with nothing but a half eaten salad that I barely touched since I was much too busy concentrating on Stan.

I place down my plastic fork and grumble to myself. What Stan said just then sounded a bit like a passive threat instead of a friendly suggestion. It was as if he was telling me not to get my hopes up because if I think that he didn't change at all, I was sadly mistaken.

It sent a chill up my spine.

I pick up my fork again and look at my salad. It looks so disgusting to me right now that I can't even eat it. I think I'll just pick something up from the cafeteria. What a waste.

After school had ended, I started to head over to Kenny's place to tell him that Stan decided to come after all and that we would need an extra ticket for this weekend. Although Stan's interest still remain somewhat the same, I wonder what aspects DID change. Had his hobbies remain the same only to have the bigger parts of him do a 360 turn? Or is him liking sports the only minor thing that changes while everything else about him remained intact? All of this is just too confusing. I sigh to myself. Ike is right, I should really stop trying to read other people's hearts. Like he said, it'll just turn me into an introverted freak who cares about nothing but what people think.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

I look up and notice that I'm already standing outside Kenny's apartment door, looking like a retard. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that I had arrived! Oh God, this must be what Ike was talking about.

I blink a couple of times. "Ah shit. Can I come in?"

Kenny steps aside to let me in. "How long were you standing there for?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I wish I knew." I reply and let myself in without further questions. He reluctantly closes the door without getting some sort of explanation from me.

I turn around and smile at him.

"Good day I assume?" he asks with a smile.

I nod in response. "You could say that. Stan agreed to come to the basketball game after all."

Kenny's grin widens. "Oh wow! That's totally awesome."

"Yeah, it'll be like old times." I say more to myself than to him. I'm just thrilled to have Stan included back into our little group again.

"So now it's you, me, my wife, Stan...and Wendy?" he scratches his chin in thought.

My gaze shoots up at him. Wendy? WENDY?

"Wait what?" I grab Kenny's shoulders and shake him. Since when is Wendy coming?

Kenny looks at me quizzically. "Dude. Chill out. I thought you wouldn't mind her coming." He says with confusion.

Normally I wouldn't mind having my girlfriend coming along with us to places, but it's different this time. This game is meant for me and the guys to have some alone time with each other since I practically see and hear Wendy almost every day during the week. What's more, I was hoping for Stan and I to have the whole day to catch up. And now with her there, first, how am I supposed to spend time with Stan when she's there, and second, how the heck am I going to break the news to Stan about the both of us seeing each other? All I can say is that it'll be the most uncomfortable thing ever with the two of them present.

Kenny scoffs. "I don't get you. Whenever I tell her she can't come with us to places, you get all pissy on me. And now, when I agreed to let her come, you get pissy anyways."

"When did she ask to come?" I question.

Kenny glances at the grandfather clock in the living room. "She called twenty minutes ago, asking me why you didn't invite her to the game even after telling her about it. Boy that was a pleasant conversation." He says sarcastically. "Wait, why would you even tell her about your plans when you have no intention of even inviting her?" he adds.

I shrug defensively. "I-I don't know! I just assumed she would understand that us guys need some time apart!"

"Well she doesn't and that is why I think she's so fucking annoying." He says and I glare at him in which he shoots a nasty look right back at me. "Now what the hell are you going to do about Stan? You realize how weird it'll be when you walk in with Wendy arm-in-arm with you?"

I roll my eyes. "Dude! I realized that! That's why I freaked when you told me she was coming."

"Okay that's it, we have all week to figure it out. I don't want to hear any more of this crap. So how was your day?" he changes the subject as he sits down on the couch and rest his feet on the coffee table.

I follow him to the couch. Being off the topic of Stan and Wendy is what I want more than anything right now. "Well, you know it was good." I smile, immediately forgetting my dread for this weekend. "We had a chance to talk and stuff. And...oh yeah! The strangest thing happened." I chuckle.

"Oh?"

"So apparently the office fucked up some of Stan's files right? And when he got introduced in front of my class, they called him 'Stan Broflovski'! I mean it was embarrassing for me cause everyone thought there was something going on between us, but in the end it was pretty hilarious. Boy, you should've been there." I look up to see Kenny stifling in a his laughter so badly that his face is all red.

"Kenny?" I ask.

He shakes his head and places his hand over his mouth, trying to conceal any further laughter.

I lean closer to inspect him. There's something awfully suspicious about him. "Kenny, what's the matter with you?"

He snorts, gets up and walks away into the kitchen quickly. Being the curious person that I am I follow him only to find him bent over the counter laughing hysterically.

"Kenny! I know it was funny but not THAT funny!"

He looks up at me as he wipes away all the tears that streamed down his eyes from the excessively laughter. "Oh my God. I'm sorry but the face you had on, it was just priceless! I didn't expect you to react like a little school girl." He laughs lightly this time.

Expect?

I walk up so my face in practically only inches away. "Kenny. What did you do?" I ask as calmly as possible.

He shrugs innocently. "Nothing Sir. Just an innocent little prank."

"Kenny! Don't tell me that you somehow hacked into the school records and fucked them up."

"Ey! Don't blame me! Blame that good for nothing secretary for leaving her work station unattended!"

"I can't believe you!"

Kenny cocks a smile at me. "Just be grateful I didn't fuck around with his marital status on the documents."

I know I should be fuming with anger right now, but for some reason, I'm far from that. A bigger part of me...no...all of me is glad that Kenny went and doctored Stan's records. Because if that didn't happen, Stan and I wouldn't have had the chance to laugh and joke about today's mishaps. So I guess I could say that it was luck that this all happened? Or that Kenny actually gave us something to talk about?

"You're welcome." Kenny replies.

I scoff but he knows that deep down I'm not mad. "I'll have my revenge. Just you wait. I know a certain school secretary who's more than happy to jump your bone."

"Nuh uh! Not gonna happen. I'll just get my wife to kick her in the balls."

I laugh. Today has been a good day indeed. For the first time I actually felt fulfillment from something other than teaching my students. At least now I know that my life doesn't need to revolved around school to gain some happiness. At least now, I've gained a valuable friend that I have no intention of parting with again. Not ever. And in the process I received the best laugh I've ever had since...high school.

I make my way to the door. "Well because of you my ninth grade class thinks I'm having an affair with Stan." I put my shoes on. "Nice going." I joke.

Kenny opens the door for me to leave. "Like I said, you're welcome Mr. Broflovski. Oh and tell your other half I said hi."

I lightly punch his arm. "In your dreams. But I will tell him you said hi."

"DON'T DENY WHAT'S MEANT TO BEEEEEE!" he shouts downs the hall of his apartment building before quickly slamming the door shut in my face. A few occupants peer out their doors right after opening them and glare at me, thinking that I'm the source for all the ruckus.

Thanks, Kenny.

AGAIN.


	10. He's On Your Mind III

A/N: I'd like to thank all the reviewers who are enjoying this story so far. Just bear with Kyle and Kenny's point of view for a while and we'll see things from Stan's perspective soon. :) I'd also like to especially thank the ones who have been keeping up with the story. Your feedback really helps me with everything! And I'm glad you all are enjoying Kenny and his 'wife'. :D

Thanks again,

Yaminohikari (Kouichi Kimura 4eva)

* * *

Chapter 10

He's On Your Mind III

**Kyle**

There's only two more days till the weekend and I'm already a nervous wreck. I couldn't even sleep for the past few days let alone be able to concentrate on marking tests. I practically had to remark a dozen of those tests because I would accidentally mark a wrong answer right and vice versa. I mean, I technically could hand them back with those mistakes, but after what my class pulled on Tuesday, there's no way I'm allowing anyone to get free marks off of me. They're just going to have to get by with what they really got on those tests.

I throw down my marking pen. It's not fair that Wendy just has to tag along. And I definitely don't bother her when she goes out with the girls on their weekends and I most definitely don't invite myself to their plans without consulting her first because it would just be a dick move. Not that I would even consider hanging out with them anyways.

I slump on my bed hoping that I can conjure up a solution for this weekend but can't. There's just no avoiding this potential mess without me missing out on a day of fun with the guys. I'm just going to have to face the music. Besides, if Stan and I are going to be friends again, the subject of Wendy and I together is going to come up sooner or later. It's just...I don't want it to be so soon. I know I'm just trying to delay the inevitable so I should juts man up to reality. There's no use in missing out fun out of fear for something that's going to happen anyways. Then again, if Stan AND Wendy are going to be there it'll be anything but fun. It's not that I don't want Stan to know about Wendy and I, the timing is just too soon, that's all. Maybe when Stan and I are on a more comfortable level, then I can tell him that we're together.

I flip open my phone and dial Wendy's number. I'll just tell her straight out that she cannot come along and that I can make it up to her with plans on Sunday with just the two of us. She'll understand, she's my girlfriend after all. I'll be sure to show her how much I appreciate her by giving the best time after the game. I'll let her know how much I love her, that way she'll know that us guys just really need some time with each other and that it has nothing to do with her.

Midway through dialing, I suddenly remember that I have to check up on the girl that injured herself the other day. I need to let her know of the homework she missed and I also definitely need to know when to expect her back.

I cancel Wendy's number and flip the phone back. Who in the world would I call to get her number at a time like this? Most people wouldn't be asleep yet, but I doubt anyone that worked in the school had a student's contact info with them.

I sigh and started to redial Wendy's number again, but then I remembered again that there is someone who WOULD have this kind of information on them. I cancel the number and immediately scroll down the contact list to find the new number that was given to me by its owner in case something comes up for the basketball game.

I anxiously wait for an answer as the line rings in what feels almost like an eternity.

"Hello?" comes the voice on the other line after the fifth ring.

"Stan!" I say excitedly, feeling a bit giddy at the idea of talking to my old friend outside of school.

"...Kyle?" he asks puzzled. "Hey, did something come up for the plans this weekend?" he adds.

"Oh...no." I say awkwardly.

"Oh okay." He replies back and waits for me to continue.

I take his silence on the other end as encouragement to keep talking. "So what's going on?" I ask politely, seeing as how it would be rude to blatantly ask for the girl's number without as much as a proper greeting.

"Oh nothing much." He begins. "So what's up with you?" he asks good-naturedly.

I fight to get the words out of my mouth as I process his question. Alright, so how am I supposed to answer that? Does he mean what's going on right now while I'm on the phone or what is going to happen on Saturday? Or does he mean it in a way where I'm only suppose to reply that nothing much is going on and then follow it by asking him another question?

"Kyle?"

My mouth moves but no sound comes out. "I...uh..." Well, at least no sound that is a comprehensible language. The silence on the other end is making me uncomfortable. I just hope Stan isn't as annoyed as I am right now with myself for bothering him at this hour. I need to think of something quick to talk about to make it a casual phone conversation.

"So what are you doing right now?" Smooth, Kyle. Real smooth...way to ask the same question with just different words.

There's a pause at the end. "Just watching T.V." he responds back. "And you, Mr. Broflovski?" he muses and I almost squeal like the one girl in my class at the tone he used in referring to me formally.

"Just marking papers." I chuckle nervously in the speaker end of my phone.

"I see. Sounds like a real party other there." He laughs.

"..." I'm quiet again. I've already forgotten what I called him for and am just waiting for him to say something again to pull me out of my blank train of thought.

"So...is that all then?" he chuckles into the phone.

A thought hits me like a lightning bolt. The girl's number! Right! "No! I was also wondering if you have Rebecca's number? I want to check up on her and stuff."

"Ah, I see." He says and I hear a rustling of paper on his side of the phone. "You know, you could've asked right when you called."

Oh crap! I can't say that I just wanted to sound polite because he will think I'm a fake and that I only pretended to be nice just to get what I want. And I can't say that I only care about Rebecca's contact info because that's not true. I know I called with the purpose of getting Rebecca's number to check up on her, however, I was sincere when I greeted him. It wasn't reluctant on my part at all, I really, REALLY wanted to know what he was up to. What kind of things Stan did outside of school that could give me a clue into want kind of person he had become. Stalker –like or not, I wanted to know the real Stan behind the school-nurse Stan that I met the other day. I want to know if the things he does outside of school are like mine at all; or like the old Stan's. I guess all in all, I didn't pretend to be nice to Stan to get the info that I needed, I used the info that I needed as an excuse to call him! But if I tell him that he'll think I'm being a complete creep.

Dreading at the realization that I am acting like a complete stalker at my former best friend, I almost hang up right on the spot. "I-I...! I really wanted to know how you were doing!" I practically shout with panic into the phone, making him gasp at the sudden outburst.

"Alright! I believe you! I was just gonna say you could've asked me for the number before chatting with me on the phone. That way we don't have to worry about forgetting the number at the end." He laughs loudly.

I sigh in relief and smile into the phone as I finally start to relax. Maybe this won't be so bad on my part and I can actually pull off a non-awkward conversation with Stan after all.

After jotting down Rebecca's number Stan and I surprisingly continue talking on the phone for the next hour. It feels rather nice to be talking like old friends again with the exception of a few temporary awkward instances where I would say something stupid that would result in Stan telling me that I'm 'funny' or that I should relax because he's not going to bite my head off. We go from chatting about last week's football scores and how the Denver Broncos screwed up during the last match which rendered them losers for the season to about how the ninth graders in our school are nosy little brats that care more about others people's gossip than their schoolwork. As we talk more I lay in my bed, playing with the pen I used to mark assignments and toss it around in my hand.

This really feels nice.

"So what are you wearing?" I ask without thinking as I focus a little too much attention on catching my pen before it falls off the bed.

"Huh?"

Instead of grabbing my pen, I slap my hand over my mouth, not believing that I had just accidentally asked him something that I normally ask Wendy when we chat on the phone. Something that I usually ask before we start doing dirty things over the speaker.

I clench my eyes tightly shut. I cannot believe that I had just asked him something like that out of nowhere. It was as if something went loose in my mind and it didn't occur to my brain that this is not the appropriate person to be saying this kind of thing to. Not someone who is just a friend. And definitely not someone who is Stan. Not only that, but lately I've been a complete mental wreck whenever I'm in front of Stan or just talking to him like I am right now. All he tells me is that I'm just 'funny' whenever I act like this. But THIS, when something like THIS happens where I accidentally treat Stan like my girlfriend, is when things aren't 'funny' anymore. They're more like borderline creepy in my opinion. And they might be creepy enough to scare Stan off. I just don't know why I act the way I am. I just hope that it's just the stress of befriending Stan all over again and not something...else. Something else that I do not want to acknowledge that's in the back of my fucked up mind.

Something else that will change both our lives.

"I'm not wearing anything actually." He replies coolly on the other end.

My face heats up immediately. He already had me at the second word of that sentence and I almost pass out from lack of oxygen. I shut my eyes again as if he is right in front of me naked and try my best not to imagine anything inappropriate. Just what the hell is this guy doing to me? I have sex all the time with my girlfriend and we see each other naked as if it was nothing. But now, at just the mention of Stan's naked body has got me all embarrassed like an inexperienced teenager.

"A-are you serious?" I ask in disbelief.

"No." He laughs.

I sigh to myself. I honestly don't know if what he said was a disappointment to me or relief that I don't have to fight with myself to erase any images of Stan naked in my mind. My moods have been so confusing lately that I'm just hoping for the latter. I don't even know how I feel. Good Grief.

"Actually, I'm just wearing a blue shirt with blue pants. Not exactly the most exciting outfit in the world. Why do you ask?" He chuckles.

I just can't believe him. Either he really didn't think too much about my question or he is just being cruel while knowing full well how I am reacting to it. But he is taking it really well and I don't hear any hint of disgust or mischief in his voice, so I know my previous suspicions aren't true. Maybe I am the one who's thinking way too much over this thing with Stan. I just wish he was in front of me so I can at least have a chance of reading his thoughts through his face.

I ran my hand through my red waves. "Sorry I didn't mean to ask that. It just came out."

I hear another laugh on the other side and am expecting him to tell me that I'm 'funny' again. But instead, "Now you need to tell me what you're wearing," comes from the other end and send me into a nervous wreck again.

"H-huh?" I stammer to gather my thoughts. Why the hell would he ask me this?

"Hey, it's only fair!" he chimes playfully.

I'm glad that Stan doesn't think too much of this situation. But for me, that's not the case. Even though he doesn't relate the question with anything sexual, it's completely dirty and sexual from what I'm used to. I'm so used to having steamy phone sex with Wendy that having him ask me that, just feels too much like we are going to do something just like it over the phone. I-It's just too...

...sexual.

He notices the discomfort on my end and pauses. "I was only kidding. You don't need to answer that." He says with concern that he had pushed the joked a little too far.

I take a deep breath. "A green shirt with black slacks." The smile returns to my face. There that wasn't so bad. It wasn't awkward at all. I should stop over thinking and just go with the flow and see where our relationship develops from here, even if we can't return to the way things were in high school. At least this way we can still have a fighting chance of being good friends. And maybe super best friends once again. It would be a dream come true if one day we can be each other's best man at one of our weddings.

He chuckles once again. "I see. Very interesting." He shuffles a bit on the other end. "Well, it was good talking to you, Mr. Broflovski, but I should be going now. Gotta sort out some paper work before I turn in for bed."

I glance at my clock next to my bed. "Yeah, me too. I should really finish up marking these assignments. I don't want to hand them back late again." I stretch my neck a bit to get the crick out.

"See you tomorrow then."

I nod even though he can't see me. "See ya." I snap my cell shut.

I smile and rush back to mark the papers I had abandoned an hour ago with the most enthusiasm I've felt in years. Usually I would feel tired out from having talked this long with Wendy on the phone, but today it's different. I feel so rejuvenated that new hope arises within me that I can get all these papers marked before tomorrow morning. I can drag myself to class and tell the students that I'm proud that they were able to score higher on this assignment than last time's. And also, I can win Stan back as my best friend.

We will be together again. And I'm suddenly feeling excited that I'll see him tomorrow at school. An even better reason for me to finish these papers and arrive at school early.

**Kenny**

Kyle has been a wreck ever since Stan came back.

The idiot can't even focus on a conversation without being distracted by thoughts of Stan or just changing the topic about Stan for more than ten minutes. I'm beginning to think that Kyle is a little more than just happy that his former butt-buddy is back. He's more than just hopeful that they will be friends again after five years.

He's fucking obsessed.

He's so obsessed with Stan that it's disgusting to watch him in this state. The way he just giggles at random thoughts that happened during the day between them or even just the way he stares off into nothing when reminiscing about Stan is pathetic. But he's so fucking obsessed that he doesn't even know it himself. THAT is why it's so annoying to watch.

But also nice to watch too.

Just watching the way Kyle reacted to my prank was more than enough to give me hope that he will finally leave that stuck up bitch and run back to Stan. Even though it's much too early for me to be hoping for so much, I just know things will turn out for them. I just know the two will come to terms with each other without too much interference on my part. At least I don't want to interfere anymore. I mean they are Stan and Kyle after all.

You can't have one without the other, like everyone always said back in the day.

"You all set to go?"

I turn around to only be greeted with a nice tight hug from my wife and I smile.

"Yeah, I won't be long. Just gotta go get an extra ticket for the game this weekend. Should I pick anything up on the way?" I give my wife's forehead a short peck with my lips.

"Can you pick up some ice-cream and some other snacks? Kyle just called and I invited him and Wendy over to watch a movie with us later on."

I run my hand through my blond hair and sigh at the mention of Wendy's name. I just don't get why Wendy has to be included in our double dates. But then again, there wouldn't be a point in having a double date without Kyle's...significant other. I shudder once again at the thought of such a label for Wendy. Why can't it just be a date and Kyle?

"Alright. But you owe me big time." I say back.

My wife giggles at my joke and waves me off as I shut the door behind me. This is going to be such an awful night. And a long one too.

After I had picked up a few snacks from the grocery store, there's only the ice-cream and extra ticket for Stan on Saturday. As I pace through the street, I start to imagine the possible outcome of Stan and Wendy coming face-to-face on the weekend. Even though there are countless possibilities, I can only narrow down three, and probably the most realistic out of all the other ones, that can happen judging by the kind of people they are and the possible person that Stan may be. Either Stan and Wendy will erupt into a massive cat fight which will be much to my amusement and Kyle's worse nightmare upon seeing each other, Wendy will cling onto Kyle and guilt him into leaving the game all together, OR Stan and Kyle will somehow run off together and leave Wendy with me and my wife, which is the least possible out of all of them considering the situation.

I ponder to myself while trying to keep my eyes on the road so I don't walk into oncoming traffic. Usually, and sometimes unfortunately, I'm right about many things. And that means that whatever I conjure up in my mind often comes true. Though there are times when I AM wrong about things, I am right the majority of the time and even when I am wrong I'm not completely wrong. Some people think that it's some psychic ability or whatever, but my wife and along with my friends know better than that. It all has to do with my ability to analyze the shit out of things and predict what will happen based on what's in front of me. Things people usually overlook that I choose to pay close attention to. And sometimes I would go to great lengths just to gather everything I need to analyze what's in front of me with no regard of consequences unless it involved the people closest to me. It's no wonder why Stan always called me a sociopath back then.

Sociopath. Heh.

I kinda like that label. It has been a while since I was referred to as that.

But one thing threw me off though. The one thing that made me doubt all my abilities to be right about things and made me realize that I shouldn't jump to conclusion based on what's only in front of me. That there's more than meets the eye and even the slightest bit of detail can throw things way off than what was expected. That things can work in funny ways, be unexpecting and leave you guessing all the time. Yes, it was that one incident that changed the way I used to look at things as unfolding in a formulaic way rather through spondaic turn-of-events.

It was the 'Grad Incident.'

I was so convinced that things would work out for Stan and Kyle based on the situation in front of me and look what happened. I can say for certain that I did not expect where we are now five year later would happen on the night when Stan spilled all the details on him and Kyle's fight. I had no idea...the outcome I predicted was so much more different than what we have now. I did not predict the things that would happen during the dance that would lead us up to where we are now.

Five years later...and I still can't get a clear grasp of Stan and Kyle's potential relationship.

Thus, after that incident, I was convinced that Stan and Kyle's relationship is much more complex than a simple formulaic pattern. It's much more. It's so much more complex that you can't even fully grasp it even if you dug beneath the thick layers. It's just the way it is. It's just Stan and Kyle. That is why even now I can't even predict what will happen. And I know the 'Grad Incident' happened for a reason. It purposely happened JUST so I couldn't predict it because love isn't meant to be predicted. Love isn't a set pattern.

Love just happens.

I make my way into the local grocery store to find the tub of ice-cream my wife asked for before it slipped my mind from all of my previous thoughts. If I did, it'll be another two excruciating nights without sex again. And there is no way in hell I am enduring that shit again.

I make my way down the frozen food aisle and stop at the freezer with all the ice-cream, popsicles and whatnot. I personally don't like anything that's not vanilla so I don't know how there could be so many different kinds when they all taste like shit anyways. Like Vanilla-Walnut? Disgusting. Why can't they just leave plain ol' vanilla alone? I'm just glad the wife pretty much likes any flavour, so there's no complaint when I get vanilla. I peer from the corner of my eyes and notice some popsicles that are also vanilla too and they are on sale, so that's an added bonus. I make a mental note to pick those up and use them for some 'fun time' later on tonight.

"Kenny?"

I turn around and also groan out loud. "Oh, hi Wendy." I say, trying to sound as uninterested as possible as I immediately recognize the owner of that voice. "What the hell brings you here?" I tuck the box of popsicles under my arm as I carry the big tub of vanilla out of the freezer.

"Shopping, what else?" she says almost defensively.

"I see." I reply and make my way past her.

"Oh, is there anything I should bring tonight?" she asks.

"No, just bring you and your..." I shudder not from the coldness under my arms but the word that's dangling at the end of my tongue. "...boyfriend." I cough out.

"Okay, then." She nods and I make my way as far from her as possible. She's my least favourite person in the world so being around for more than five minutes is way too much for me to handle. WAY too much.

"Kenny...?"

I turn around again. "What now?" I practically yell as I show more irritation than I initially did.

Wendy makes a face and trudges up to me. "Can we at least try to get along tonight? I don't want you ruining mine and Kyle's time again."

Ruining? ME?

"Excuse me?" I point to myself. "Ruin your fucking time? Are you kidding me? Shit, Wendy what the fuck are you on?" I raise my voice at least a million decibels louder than it was before.

"You know damn well what I am talking about Kenneth," she begins and even uses my full name. I hate it when she does that. She jabs my chest "whenever we all decide to get together to do something, you always make it your mission to wreck mine and Kyle's time!" she accuses. I won't deny her on this point and I won't even try to argue back because I do try to do just that whenever I get the chance. Even if I'm not with them on a double date and I know that Kyle's with Wendy, I would still try to ruin their time somehow. Just like that one time a few months back when Kyle told me that he was going to a dinner with Wendy in a nearby town. Despite my wife's disapproval, I lied to Kyle that the paper he had stored on my laptop might have been lost due to a crash. And coincidentally his desktop was fried at the time as well, so I told him that something happened and that if he didn't get his ass over here ASAP he would lose everything. Note that at the time Mrs. Johnson was giving him hell at the school, so if he screwed up the paperwork she asked from him, it probably would've jeopardized this job. And what happened? He immediately ditched his date and drove all the way to my place. Since I lived about two hours away back then, there was no way he could have went back to his date with Wendy. And boy was she pissed. I mean, Kyle is the most computer illiterate guy on earth so he had no clue that all I did was leave my laptop uncharged for the whole day so the batteries would run out. And this came from a guy who actually owns a computer himself.

I scoff at her comment. Besides, why wouldn't I do that when I know my own best friend is making the biggest mistake of his life. I mean, what guy wouldn't do this for his friend. Especially when his so-called girlfriend turns him into a whipped pussy. I swear, the way Kyle is around Wendy is just so unnatural. He tends to her all the time and when she doesn't agree with him on something he totally flips out and comes running to me for help, which I reluctantly do because I love him like a brother. And the worst part is, I know she knows what she is doing to him but is still taking advantage of the fact that he would do anything for her to keep him by her side.

That is why I hate her.

"Wendy. We're not arguing about this right now." I look around and notice a few customers staring our way. At least one of us needs to keep their civility in a public place.

She takes in a few breaths to calm herself. "I mean it." She threatens but it doesn't faze me one bit. Instead, it just pisses me off.

I take a step forward and tower above her, emphasizing the obvious height difference between us. "Don't you threaten me! In fact, you should feel flattered that I even put up with you for Kyle's sake. So unless you want me to completely steal Kyle away, I suggest you shut the fuck up and put up with me the same way I put up with you!" I huff.

Wendy raises her hand to slap me but stops midair, knowing full well that I wasn't joking. I'm a bit disappointed that she stopped because that would've given me an excuse to go hardcore in breaking them up for good. Though, Kyle probably wouldn't appreciate that. "Yeah, too chicken?" I taunt.

She pulls back her hand and turns around. "I hate you Kenneth McCormick." With that she stomps off to go about her shopping.

As I watch her disappear, I wonder to myself just what the fuck possessed Kyle to get together with her especially after what she pulled off at grad years ago. No matter how many times I try to come up with a reason it just doesn't make sense. And not only that, Kyle is definitely not a forgiving person no matter how long it's been. Cartman is a good enough example since Kyle still refuses to acknowledge him even to this day after having enough of the fatass's crap at the end of ninth grade. So him dating Wendy is just not something he would pull off at all. There has to be something up with him. No...not just something up with only Kyle but something between him AND Stan. Something that Wendy had with Stan that Kyle so desperately needed to grasp after Stan moved away. Something Kyle craved for but the source of it wasn't there.

Something that made Kyle latch onto the closest source he could think of:

Wendy.

I look up again towards the direction that Wendy walked off in and find only random customers looking around the aisles for their needed groceries. For some reason, if that is the case with Kyle, I actually feel bad for Wendy. To think that he's just with her only because Stan was romantically involved with her before seems...sad. In some way, it seems almost like he's trying to romantically be with Stan through her. Like he's trying to hold onto what's left of Stan through having a relationship with her.

I bite my nails. This isn't right. This isn't right at all on so many levels. And especially now that Stan's back I'm beginning to worry what Kyle might do to Wendy. And I hate to admit it, but even Wendy doesn't deserve this kind of punishment, particularly since there's a good chance that she has no idea of this going on. She doesn't realize that Kyle only saw her as Stan and now that the real deal is back in town, she's going to be faced with a big deal of hurt.

I sigh to myself and decide that there's also another reason for me to fuck up Kyle and Wendy's their relationship and this time it's not just for Kyle's sake. But this doesn't mean I've developed a soft spot for that bitch or anything, but it's more like pity for her. Pity at her ignorance to the real Kyle and how her devotion to him has blinded her to this important part of who he is. And also anger that for someone who claims to know everything fucking thing about Kyle as his girlfriend doesn't know shit about him. Damn, how could I have not noticed this before?

"Sir, are you alright?"

I look over at a concerned worker who's studying me with everything that he has. And it is then that I realize that I'm standing in the middle of the aisle with no particular attention towards anything. I guess I do look a little crazy.

"I'm just fine." I smile politely. I move my arm and feel a wet and not to mention rather sticky box underneath my arm. I scrunch my face in disgust as I pull the melted popsicles from under my armpit. Gross, I must have been standing here for quite a while if they're this melted already. "On second thought, I don't think I want these anymore." I hand them to the confused but now equally disgusted worker and quickly stalk off.

I'm suddenly not in the mood for any sex play.


	11. He's On Your Mind IV

Chapter 11

He's On Your Mind IV

**Kyle**

"_What are you wearing?"_

I literally hit myself in the face as I replay the phone call I had with Stan a few hours ago.

"_Now you need to tell me what you're wearing, it's only fair."_

If only I could turn back time and redo the whole phone conversation I wouldn't have made myself sound like the retard that I was. I know he took it pretty well and played it off, but I can't help but feel embarrassed. Why is this so hard for me? All I want is to be his friend again, and we can get past all this weirdness if only I was less nervous around him. But who can blame me? For crying out loud, this is the first time that I've seen him since...since...high school! So he practically IS a stranger to me right now. It's only been a few days since I've 'met' him so it would be stupid of me to think that we can pick up where we left off from high school. Well, not that I would like to continue from high school since we parted on bad terms, but maybe somehow before all the craziness at grad? But then again...if it weren't for my weird question Stan and I wouldn't have had that good conversation. So I guess it wasn't entirely bad.

After marking the papers, I grumble as I get ready to pick up Wendy for our double date at Kenny's. And judging by the time right now, I bet it's going to be another late night again. At least this time I have everything done and not have to worry about pulling an all-nighter to finish up the marking. But still, all I did was call Kenny talk to him about what had happened earlier with Stan, I didn't expect to be invited over by his wife. What's worse was that I even had to call Wendy up not too long after. I don't know what it was that was bothering me, but there was something about hearing Wendy's voice right after the whole 'what are you wearing' conversation that made everything that just took place feel so dirty. In some way, it felt like I cheated on Wendy when in reality I did far from it. Almost like I had shared something intimate that is only between Wendy and I with someone else. Someone outside of us. Only it wasn't just an ordinary outsider, it was Stan.

Stan...

Actually, I don't think he would even be classified as an outsider to begin with.

That doesn't even make sense.

Shit, nothing has made sense this week.

I fix my thick red waves in front of my mirror after messing them up from lying in bed and talking to Stan. I run my hands through it and am immediately reminded of after-sex hair. The kind of hair that Wendy loves to play with during sex is now messed up because of Stan. The thought doesn't make me feel any less unfaithful because equating Stan and after-sex hair just makes me feel like he's the one I slept with. I know I didn't exactly do anything, but even relating the idea of sex with that awkward question was more than enough to make me feel the need to go on my knees and apologize to Wendy for being unfaithful. Except I wasn't exactly unfaithful and I don't plan on mentioning anything about Stan to Wendy just yet.

It's all too soon.

I grab my car keys from my dresser and head out my room. Too soon my ass, they're going to meet in two days no matter what so it's best to be prepared for anything that could arise. I know Stan probably won't do anything drastic, for all I know, he probably doesn't even care about the crap that happened five years ago. It's just Wendy I'm worried about. Though I love her, she's not exactly the type that forgets easily. And I curse myself for thinking such a thing about her, but I don't want her to get too involved with mine and Stan's relationship progress right now. We're at a very crucial step in our friendship and I can't have anything getting between our chances of going back to the way we were before all the craziness.

Not even my dearest girlfriend.

And if she loves me the way she says then she'll understand when they see each other on Saturday. She'll understand that just like us, Stan and I need our own alone time to patch things up and get closer. Things have changed now, so there's nothing but a platonic friendship awaiting Stan and I. A platonic friendship that'll just be a brother-like relationship with nothing more...nothing beyond that.

Absolutely nothing...

I shake my head of all thoughts and head downstairs. "Ike! I'm going out, okay?" I yell from the hallway as I put on my green sneakers. "Don't wait up for me!"

Ike appears from the living room and stands behind me. "Why the hell would I wait up for you, anyways?" he smirks like the smartass that he is.

I step into my sneakers and yank on his black locks. "Smartass. Tell mom I'm done with my marking and I don't know when I'll be home."

He leans lazily against the wall after I let go of his hair. "Why? You going out to the bar with the guys again? You know mom will kill you if you come home hammered again." He says matter-of-factly.

"I'm not going to a bar. I have a date with Wendy." I counter back as I reach for the door knob.

"Oh, that makes it so much better." He says sarcastically.

"Ike, shut up." It seems like almost everybody except for my parents have a problem with Wendy and I don't know why. "What's wrong with Wendy? She hasn't done anything to you." I turn around and face him. It's true, she's been nothing but nice to him every time she's over, so I don't what's his problem with her.

Ike rolls dark eyes and lifts himself off the wall. "I already told you like a million times but you don't listen." He sighs. "She's like a second you. I already have a hard enough time dealing with only one asshole of a brother, but another? No thanks. Face it, you two are exactly alike, except she's a chick." He inspects me for a few seconds. "And the fact that you act like a complete pussy in front of her." He adds in quickly.

I shove him playfully on his shoulder. "You're just jealous that I have her all for myself and you don't." I stick out my tongue to tease him.

Ike scrunches up his face in disgust and I almost laugh if I wasn't so offended at the insult towards my girlfriend. "Not in a million years big bro. I mean no offence." He sticks a finger in his mouth to mimic a gag-like motion.

"None taken. But I don't know how she'll take it when I rat you out." I finally step out into the porch and head over to my parked car. Looks like I'll be using the crappy beat-up Toyota tonight and not my parent's new Hybrid.

Ike walks out and stand next to the left side mirror of the car. "Besides, I have a beautiful girlfriend and am completely _faithful_." He says with added emphasis at the end.

I sit into the driver's seat of the car and start it as I straighten the rear mirror and snap on my seatbelt. "What's that supposed to mean, you little shrimp?" I raise a quizzical eyebrow.

Ike pats on the hood of the car. "Nothing." He grins. "Don't be too late and have fun." He says as he makes his way back towards the house.

I wave him off and shift my gear into reverse and start backing out of the driveway.

"What are you _wearing_?" he mocks loudly from the porch and I nearly slam right into one of the cars parked on the side of the street had I not seen it at the last minute.

xxxxxx

"I'm so glad we finally get some time together, Kyle." Wendy smiles at me when she enters the passenger side of my car. After properly sitting into the seat, she leans in to give me a peck on the cheek. She's obviously happy that I decided to spend some time with her after so long.

I smile at her. "Yeah, same here." I say as I pull her back in for a kiss on the lips this time.

During the drive over to Kenny's place in what seems like an eternity but has only been a little over twenty minutes, Wendy has been abnormally quiet. I caught her glancing in my direction a few times but every time I look over to say something, her gaze is back out the side window and she doesn't look like she wants to talk anymore.

I wonder what is up.

Usually when she is excited for our dates, she would talk non-stop on the way over to wherever we're going. She would plan out what we should do, what time to be home and so on. But today, she looks so run down that I can't not be worried about her. I thought she was happy at first, but the her mood started to drastically change after we left South Park and entered Denver. Did something happen today that I wasn't aware of? She normally would call me up to pour her heart out if something upsetting happened. So it's strange that she didn't even mention it when I called her up.

"Wendy, are you okay?" I reach one hand over and grip her left one resting on her knee and she teases up.

I catch her looking up at me from my peripheral vision and I ask her again. "Is something bothering you?"

Her grip tightens on my hand and she shakes her head. "No, I'm okay, Kyle. Just a little tired from work." She smiles again and lets go of my hand.

I nod, deciding that it's better to not further question her for now. Whatever it is that's bothering her, she obviously doesn't want to talk about it with me so it's best to just leave her alone for now. I'll just ask her again when we leave later. I at least owe her that much for doing... 'that' over the phone with Stan, even if it was an accident.

"Alright." I speak to show her my understanding in case she didn't see me nod. I place my hand back on the steering wheel and continue down the road in silence. For the first time since we started dating, I am sitting in an uncomfortable silence with Wendy.

We finally near Kenny's apartment and deciding to not press her for details, I pull up into the big lot in front of the building. I turn into the nearest empty space that I could find and shift my car into park as soon as we stop. All of this is done in absolute silence and it's starting to really bother me.

That's it, I can't wait until we're done the date for her to tell me. It'll ruin our night.

I pull on her arm before she can completely unbuckle her seatbelt to get out of the car. "Honey, seriously, what is the matter?" I look her sternly in the eyes. She, in turn, blinks a few times and looks away, facing the windshield.

"Wendy, come on." I press.

Wendy lets out a chuckle. "It's...Kyle, am I a bother towards you?" she asks sadly.

A bother?

I chuckle uneasily. "Wends! What are you talking about? You're not a bother! Who gave you that stupid idea?" I bring a hand up and stroke her cheek, making her sigh and lean in.

She hesitates before answering me. "Ken...I mean, I was just having some time to think when I went grocery shopping today. And plus, I did sort of invited myself to the game. Maybe I should just let you guys talk amongst yourselves when we go?"

I felt a tinge of anger that she didn't even consider backing out of our weekend plans and I mentally slap myself for even considering something so selfish. Now is not the time to be thinking of what I could get out of this situation. Rather, I should be concentrating on how to make her feel better. This is her night too, not just mine. "Wendy," I pull her into a tight hug. "I never want you to think that again okay? If you were a bother then why would I still be with you?" I rub her back to ease the built-up tension.

She sighs into the crook of my neck and returns the embrace. "Thanks, Kyle."

I return a smile to her and we break the embrace. "You sure you're okay then?" I playfully tilt her chin and she giggles from my touch.

"Don't worry." She brushes her hand against mine. "I'll be fine."

As we make our way up to Kenny's apartment, my hand remains in a tight hold with Wendy's. But it's not due to the fact that I want to reassure her that everything will be alright, it's because I'm the one whose uneasy now. This feeling of uncertainty for something that I can't even figure out has been lingering in the back of my mind for this past week and I can't seem to bring myself to focus on anything. Especially when I'm with Wendy. She probably has noticed my distance from her these past few days and I'm willing to bet that's exactly what's bothering her right now. My lack of attention and enthusiasm towards her must have rendered her into a worried wreck. And my refusal to tell her anything must have caused her to feel less inclined to let me know what was on her mind as well. That reason alone is why I should at least make it up to her later on. I can't lose her, she's done too much for me.

"Wendy, after this, how about you and I have some time to ourselves?" I ask as I give her hand a slight tug to draw her attention.

She stops in front of Kenny's door and looks at me with bewilderment since I haven't been all that focused on 'us' for quite a while now. "Kyle, of course!" she beams and hugs me instead of using her already raised hand to knock on Kenny's door.

Once again we're embracing and I hold onto her much tighter than the first time. I take in the scent of her hair and sigh as we stand there for a while. I just don't know what is it about her hair that I like so much. I know that it's because it looks good on her and all, but there's just something sweet and nostalgic about its feel and colour that attracts me so much that I always make sure to get a good feel of it when we're together. The way it just glides through my fingers and contrasts my own light skin gives me a feeling of sheer bliss. It's dark colour...

...dark colour?

My eyes snap open and I pulled away from Wendy.

I did it again.

"Kyle?" she asks with confusion.

I look back up at Wendy. "S-sorry, it's just that we should be getting in there soon. I mean we're already fifteen minutes late." I lie in a helpless attempt at covering up my mess.

"Alright." She smiles and knocks on the door without further question and I in turn sigh with relief.

"_Godammit Kyle, get your mind out of the gutter."_ I tell myself as I take steady breathes to calm myself down. _"You gotta stop thinking of Stan. It's neither of you guy's fault at what happened five years ago."_ I continue to convince myself like the many times I had to do after having sex with Wendy. Even though Kenny says there's definitely something up with thinking of your former best friend after sex with your girlfriend, I'm still pretty sure it's just residual guilt and nothing more.

Absolutely nothing.

As soon as I start to feel myself calm down, the sudden sound of the door lock clicking open scares me.

"S'about time." A familiar blond glares at us from the doorway with particular attention at Wendy and I glare back, warning him to back off.

Kenny sighs and steps aside for us to make our way in. "But whatever, we have all night anyways." He scratches the back of his head, refusing to make eye contact with either of us.

Wendy glances at me and I make myself into the apartment without as much as a look at either of them. Things are already awkward enough as it is without me making any smartass comments about Kenny's rude behaviour. "Yeah, _all_ night." I say sarcastically as I kick off my shoes and make my way over to their big collection of DVDs on the shelf to detract myself. All I can see are mostly what his wife watches. That, or Kenny has suddenly switched his taste over to romantic comedies.

"So what are we watching tonight?" I ask, changing the subject anyways, even though the uncomfortable atmosphere is obvious to Kenny and Wendy.

Kenny walks over to me and scans the big shelf of DVDs like he's looking for something in a library. "It's up to you...er...you _guys_ since you're the guests." He says as he eyes Wendy again.

I randomly grab a DVD that's sitting away from the rest and toss it to Kenny. "This will do."

Kenny catches the box and looks at the movie and snorts. "Really?" he shows me the movie I had picked. "_BASEketball_ (1)isn't exactly date worthy you know."

I shrug in return, showing that I honesty couldn't give a crap about what movie we're going to watch as long as this night goes by fast and smooth. In other words, as long as the movie we're going to watch distracts Kenny and Wendy enough from a big catfight I would take anything. Whether it's crappy or good. Hell, even The Passion of the Christ would do.

Kenny places the DVD into the player's tray. "My favourite movie too." He grins , happy at the movie choice I picked.

I glance back and notice that Wendy is gone. She must've went off to find Kenny's wife to chat with while Kenny and I have our own time before we start watching the movie. This is much like our regular ritual whenever we all get together for a double date: Wendy and Kenny always start off at the wrong foot, Wendy leaves me with Kenny and then we all do whatever we had planned before ending the night. I don't know why we even call it a double date since I spend the majority of the time talking to Kenny while Wendy talks to Kenny's wife to avoid any kind of verbal contact with the always pissed off blond whenever they're around each other.

"Can you two at least pretend to get along tonight? You know, knock it off with the glares and sarcastic remarks?" I whisper to Kenny as I crouch down next to him.

Kenny smacks the tray close and I flinch at the sudden movement. "Not you too?" he glares at me while I keep my eyes on the DVD player feeling sorry that Kenny is taking his anger out on the poor thing.

"What do you mean 'not me too'?" I stand up from my uncomfortable position near the floor.

Kenny stands up too and heads to the coffee table to pour the snacks in the plastics bowls that his wife put out. "Ask your _sweet_ girlfriend." He replies with a sarcastic emphasis that's meant to piss me off. "She practically hounded me about the same thing at the supermarket earlier today and I don't need you to do the same thing, you fucking asshole." He rants as throws the bag of chips back down on the table, probably breaking what's left over inside the bag.

"Jesus, Kenny! Calm the hell down!" I touch his shoulder and backhands my touch away.

So this must be what was bothering Wendy. And by the looks of it, Kenny doesn't seem too thrilled about it either. "What exactly happened?" I ask, hoping that they didn't get into anything too physical in a public place like the supermarket. The last thing I need is for people around town to be talking about Kyle's crazy girlfriend and sociopathic best friend getting into a fist fight over something probably stupid anyways. And in a supermarket out of all places too. "Look, I'm sure Wendy didn't mean what she said." I try to reason with him to pull him out of his angry funk, though it may be in vain anyways.

"Argh!" Kenny growls under his breath.

"What now?" I ask impatiently.

Kenny turns around with his arms crossed and stares into me, penetrating into my soul and reading everything in my mind. If not, well, he sure as hell is doing a pretty good job at acting like he is and it's making me tense up more than usual. But to my relief, he's come to his sense and is starting to calm down, probably realizing that this sort of behaviour is pointless anyways. He sighs, "It's just...she's pisses me off so much by being with you. But..." He says as he finally breaks eye contact with me.

"But?"

"Look, nevermind. You already know what I'm going to say."

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you wasted already?"

Kenny grinds his teeth. "No...You're-."

"You guys ready for the movie? I made popcorn!" a cheerful voice chirps from the kitchen entrance, interrupting us from our little talk.

Kenny takes a deep breath and smiles widely at his wife. "Yeah! Definately!" he turns towards the kitchen to help put everything else on the table as his mood does a complete turn. If I didn't know what was going on prior to his mood swing I would've thought he was bi-polar, but knowing Kenny he's just putting on a fake act in front of his better half. And I know from the uneasy look his wife initially gave him that his act is apparent to not just only me. Kenny probably knows just how transparent he is right now too, but just doesn't care.

Kenny munches on a handful of popcorn as he makes his way over to the couch with the bowl in one hand. "Alright! Let's watch this shit!" he shouts excitedly as he plops down on the couch.

I take a seat on the other side of the couch so that I'm as far away from him as possible. If I know anything about Kenny, is that right now he's steaming with anger on the inside and only time can ease him. Which means, with the exception of his wife, everyone should stay away from him since his tendency to erupt into obnoxious behaviour to hide his anger is quite high in this state.

Wendy finally emerges from the kitchen with some drinks in her hand that she places neatly next to the snack on the coffee table before sitting down next to me. I extend my arm around her shoulder and she instinctively leans into me. "What are we watching?" she asks.

"BASEketball." Comes Kenny's monotone replying as he keeps his eyes glued on the screen while the previews play. Why he doesn't just skip through them and onto the main movie I will never know.

"Thanks." She says in an equally uninterested tone. "I wasn't asking you." She mutters quietly under her breath and I could have sworn Kenny glanced over slightly from hearing it.

"Wendy, seriously." I warn her and she nods apologetically.

Kenny's wife glances at Wendy and I and then back at Kenny, knowing full well of the hostility that has developed in the short time since our arrival. But as usual, nothing is said in order to keep the peace around here.

For now.

For now until the next time we decide to get together. Scratch that, the next time Kenny's wife decides for us all the get together again.

As we watch the movie, it's hilarity seem to have lifted the what was once a gloomy atmosphere in the living room. Even Wendy and Kenny seem to have forgotten their anger and joined in with the laughter between Kenny's wife and I. I can't blame them, the movie is freaking funny.

"I'm gonna get another drink." I excuse myself to the kitchen even though no one is really listening and is focusing on the next punch line in the movie instead. I chuckle to myself in relief that the movie did end up lessening the tension between Kenny and Wendy after all. And also at the fact that everyone can be so distracted at the funny but disgusting jokes in the movie that don't even make any sense at times. Whoever made that movie is my new hero for preventing potential domestic violence between my girlfriend and my best friend.

I open the fridge to find that we had completely emptied out Kenny's supply of drinks. "There's no more drinks, guys!" I shout from the kitchen.

"Well then get your ass out to the convenience store and buy some more!" Kenny shouts back, annoyed that I'm distracting him from the movie.

I exit the kitchen and lean on the back of the couch, resting my elbows just on the cushion behind Wendy's head. "Why me?" I whine.

"Because you were the one who finished the last drink. And plus, you're the one who's thirsty. The rest of us are fine." He replies with his eyes still glued on the screen.

I roll my eyes. "Wendy, you coming with me?"

Wendy turns around and shrugs "Sorry honey, I kind of want to see what happens at the end." She apologizes.

I pull myself from my position and grab my jacket. "Fine. I'll be back soon." I say and none of them answer me back. At least they're not fighting. I'd take being ignored over an argument between Kenny and Wendy any day so I'm not going to complain.

I check the time on my watch as I make my way to the store across the street and notice that it's getting pretty late. I'm not too worried about the neighbourhood during the night in this area but I just don't want to stay too late at Kenny's if I want to have some alone time with Wendy afterwards. Plus, I still need to get enough sleep to wake up for an early start at school tomorrow if I want to hang out with Stan a bit before class. I'm just hoping that he's really okay with the whole phone conversation and isn't pretending to be fine with it to spare my feelings. Stan wasn't that type of guy in high school and I hope that he's still the same honest guy.

The same honest guy that I lo...

I shake my head and enter the store to look for the drinks that Kenny had and make a note that I should hurry up so they don't have to wait up for me for too long. Not that they would anyways as long as that movie is on. As I continue to look, I finally find the drinks right next to the various other beverages on sale. My face cringes at the fact that they're room temperature but I shrug it off. It's better than nothing. Further, I feel a bit bad for finishing off Kenny's drinks so the least I could do is restock for him.

I look around the store and take in its big size. It's totally unlike the stores that I was used to when I was growing up in South Park. Back then, the stores where tiny and only had a few things that are only for the most essential daily needs. But this store even has clothes and some minor electronics, surprisingly. Though, it's not the most impressing thing in the world, just more than what I'm used to seeing.

As I approach the counter to pay for the drinks, the door alarm system beeps a few times as another customer enters to alert the workers of the new presence in the store. I also hear the person asking a nearby worker if they had any detergent in which he is politely directed near the back to retrieve the item.

The cashier punches my item into the register and politely smiles. "That'll be $5.75, Sir." Another thing, the workers in these stores are nicer than the ones in South Park too.

While punching in the numbers for my debit card I notice a bob of dark hair from the corner of my eye. My first guess was Craig. And I was about to turn around to question what the hell he was doing all the way out here in Denver, but when I took a closer look at the widening smile before me upon eye contact, I was more than just surprised.

"Kyle! Fancy seeing you here." He laughs. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

I fumble with the debit machine and almost drop it before giving back to the cashier. "Stan!" I laugh nervously and returning the device to the now impatient cashier. "Just picking up a few drinks." I examine him and notice the blue shirt and blue pants he was describing earlier and blush. "You were the last person I was expecting to be here!" I add to take my mind off of the earlier incident.

Stan places the detergent and a much smaller item onto the counter. "Yeah, I can say the same thing to you. Don't you live in South Park?" he pulls out his wallet.

"I was just visiting Kenny." I tell him and decide to leave out the small detail about Wendy. "Wait, what are you doing all the way out here?"

"I live here." He says with amusement as the cashier returns his change. "Sorry I forgot to mention that. I guess I should've said so earlier."

"Wait, by yourself?"

"Yeah. I don't exactly want to move back in with my parents. Especially with that bitch still living with them." He makes a face as he takes carries the box of detergent and pockets his change and the smaller item.

"You mean, Shelly?"

"Yep."

We both laugh while making our way out the store and across the street. "After all these years you still can't get along with her, huh?" I say in between chuckles.

"Nah. Sometimes we do but that's only on rare occasions." He continues to explain even though it's something that I already know about from our childhood. It's just the idea of hearing his voice talk to me so normally that makes me less inclined to interrupt to tell him that I already know and that he doesn't need to bother wasting his breath explaining something that's common knowledge to me. Then again, it's been so long so he probably thinks I've forgotten such a minor detail in his life.

We stop in front of Kenny's apartment building after crossing at the intersection. I was ready to say good night and ring the buzzer for Kenny to let me in, but then Stan pulls out his keys and opens the front door of the building for the both of us. "Want to hang out for a bit before going back to Kenny's? I'm sure ten minutes won't hurt."

"DUDE! You live in the same building as Kenny?" I ask with shock written all over my face.

"I do?" he questions with equal surprise as he heads to the first door on the right of the first floor with me following behind him. "Dude! Seriously?"

"Yeah! Except he's near the top floor! But how could you guys not have run into each other already?" I nearly jump up and down like Cartman in a candy store. "You should come hang out with us right now!"

Stan stops and looks at me and I suddenly remember that Wendy is upstairs too. Nevermind, doing that would be suicide. I can't imagine how it would look if I walk into Kenny's apartment with Stan by my side. Things are already bad enough as it is with Wendy and Kenny at each other's throat. The last thing I need is to bring Stan into the picture. "A-actually, maybe we'll just stay here for a while. You know have some catch-up time." I reason.

"Yeah, don't worry I was about to say the same." He replies while opening his apartment door and closing it behind us once we're in.

I look around Stan's apartment and realize that it's pretty big for a single person to be living in. I mean it's perfect for people like Kenny and his wife, but for just one person? Rent must be expensive as hell for him. Not to mention the extreme amount of extra space. Maybe it'll look more like a home once he unpacks the stuff in those boxes placed around the living room floor.

"You live alone?" I ask blatantly.

"Who else would I live with?" he says. taking off his shoes and pushing a few boxes aside for me to do the same.

"The place just seems so big." I continue to look around and notice that what he does have around the place is really Stan Marsh with the huge amount of blue and red decorating the living room and a couple of sport themed objects residing the area as well. I focus particular attention on a familiar football shaped lamp in the corner of the living room that he had all his life since we were little.

"Yeah, I mean it's a good change when you've spent your whole life sharing things with an older sister. The big space is refreshing." He stands next to me and tries to figure out what I am directing my attention at.

"Good point." I say. "I see you still have the lamp." I also add pointing at the object.

Stan also directs his attention at the lamp and grins. "So that's what you were looking at. I'm surprised you still remember that." He walks up to the lamp and turns it on.

"Of course I still remember! I was in your room so much back then so of course I still remember!" I protest to emphasize my point.

Stan smiles as he turns around to face me. "Yeah, those were the times." He says as his face changes, almost like he was reminiscing back to something important. "Good times too." He sighs as he turns to the side, continuing his stare at the lamp and then directing the same look at me, making my heart go up a few beats.

"Y-yeah, they were." I stutter and quickly look away. I just can't face that look for too long, otherwise I don't know what I might say or do. I don't want to make things awkward again. If I want any hope of being Stan's friend again, I need to control myself from anything sappy. More importantly, I don't want to bring up any unwanted memories from years ago that might mess up any chance I have at having a normal friendship with Stan.

"..." We both go quiet briefly, reminding me of the awkward moment on the phone earlier. With that memory I'm reminded of what I had asked Stan during that conversation and also what he had asked me in return. The more I remember it, the more my face heats up in front of Stan. And fast too.

I look around his place to find something to distract myself from earlier thoughts and end up resting my gaze upon an old guitar resting against the wall near the fireplace. And just like the lamp, I recognize it right away. It's the same old guitar that Stan used to practice with when he was only nine. I remember that at the time, he really wanted to improve his music talent to be like one of those famous musicians that was always on T.V. He would practice day and night just to perfect a few notes for some of his favourite songs, but never enough to play the full song for some reason. Unfortunately, that all changed when we both discovered Guitar Hero. "You still play?" I ask, tossing aside all earlier thoughts of embarrassment.

Stan walks up and lifts the guitar up from its spot. "Not really. I play covers here and there but I totally suck. Guess there's not much time for me to practice anymore." He sighs as he plucks a few strings and somehow manages to make a beautiful melody-like sound out of them. "Actually, there's is one song that I can play really well though." He lights up as a thought comes to him.

"What song is that?" I sit down excitedly.

Stan takes a seat on the small couch next to him and strings the guitar to tune it. He takes a deep breath in and starts playing. "Come on, people now people now. People now, come on, people now..." he laughs and then continues. "Got to drive hybrids, people now..."

I start laughing uncontrollably along with Stan. "I meant a real song!" I say in between the few breaths I take. "I can't believe you can still play that! Jesus, Stan!"

Stan smiles and rests his guitar on his lap. "It's because I worked really hard on that song for you." He replies, keeping his eyes on the guitar. He runs his fingers through the strings again. "I really wanted you back in South Park so I worked extra hard. I guess it paid off since I still remember it after all these years. You remember the whole hybrid freak-out in South Park, right?" He sighs calmly.

How can I not remember?

It was one of my happiest memories of Stan going through hell just to get me back home. But it was also almost one of the most devastating memories at the same time. It was my first time experiencing what it would have been like living a life without Stan. I remember being so scared that I might have to going on day-by-day without seeing his face again. There wasn't anything I could do either, being the kid that I was. And when I heard what he was doing to get me back, I was touched. Despite telling him that he'll be able to find new friends without me, he refused to give up on me and worked hard to get me back, even if it was amusingly at the expense of the town. Amazingly, we were only nine years old at the time too.

"Of course I do." I reply, not wanting to show the part of the memory that I remember the most. "It was quite crazy." I relax into the couch.

Stan muses for a bit when he strums his fingers through the guitar again. "Yeah, too bad stuff like that doesn't happen anymore. It was crazy, but fun too." He chuckles as he replays the first few notes of the song and hums a bit of the lyrics, soothing my ears. Almost angel-like.

"You still have a very nice voice."

Stan looks up from his position and smiles bashfully. He raises the handle of the guitar up to his face to cover any sign of embarrassment even though I can still see the redness on his face through the places that isn't covered. "Thanks..." he mutters into the handle and for a brief moment I see an image of the old Stan flash before me, reminding of how he used to react whenever complimented by me. "You know what?" he says changing the subject. "Come over here, I'll teach you what I do know."

My smile grows and I push myself off my seat to sit next to him on the other couch. Stan places the guitar on my lap and helps me position my arms properly to play. "Okay, so what song am I gonna learn first?" I ask eagerly, unable to contain my excitement at having such an awesome time with Stan.

"Hey, you're only a beginner. So let's start with Hot Cross Buns." He helps place my fingers in the proper places.

"Aw man!" I groan.

Talk about exciting.

xxxxxx

I rub my eyes before emitting a loud yawn and stretching my arms in the air. It must be morning already. And a bright one too. It's strange that sunlight is shining directly at me when I always make it my mission to close the binds in my room just because of that reason. Maybe my mom came in and opened them before leaving, or maybe it was Ike. But that's strange too seeing as how neither ever comes into my room at such an early hour after I made it clear that they shouldn't be barging into my private space like that. Not only that, but my bed seems a bit warmer and less comfortable than usual.

"Ouch." I try to move up to ease the pain in my neck but can't. There's something pinning me down, a heavy pressure on the front of my torso. I try to move again and this time I open my eyes only to find a guitar resting on my lap. Confused, I turn my head to the right to find a familiar raven haired man fast asleep with his head against the crook of my shoulder with one of his arms draped around me and the other one resting on the guitar, adding weight to the wooden instrument.

Stan.

I take in the image of the sleeping raven haired before me. He looks so natural like that with his steady breaths and dark locks draping over his features. Now that I think about it, it occurs to me that Stan is much more built than I am. Unlike my slim frame, Stan has the body of an athlete: not too buff and not too thin either. A swimmer's body is the best way I can describe it. Broad shoulders and lean but muscular arms. It's no wonder why so many girls went crazy about him in high school. And I wouldn't be surprised if he had the same effects on them in university as well. Shit, he STILL has the same effect on girls today.

I continue to stare at him until it hits me at what took place last night. That's right! We were chatting and playing guitar. Stan was playing his old song for me and decided to show me how to play. I tried to play with no success but kept on going anyways late into night. It must have been then when we dozed off because I don't remember anything after that. I just recall running into Stan earlier when I picked up drinks for Kenny and...oh shit.

This isn't good.

Somehow Stan and I managed to forget all about my prior engagement with Kenny and the others. And most of all, I totally forgot all about Wendy. This baffles me. Were Stan and I really having that much fun last night that the thought of having some alone time with Wendy just slipped my mind and replaced by something else? This normally does not happen to me no matter how much fun I'm having. At least it hasn't happened in a while, that is. The only other times I remember this happening was back in high school with Stan when we both forgot about HIS date with Wendy after playing one-on-one hockey at Starks Pond. It's ironic how the same situation took place again, except I'm the one who's dating Wendy now. However, one thing that scares me the most is that maybe I didn't totally forget about Wendy. Maybe all along, I knew that I was supposed to be back at Kenny's apartment and that I should not have kept them all waiting. Maybe...

...I picked Stan over her.

I squint my eyes and focus on the light blue clock above Stan's wall, ticking away. A spark of panic runs through me when I realize that it's already ten after ten. School started two hours ago and we're both not ready!

We're gonna get it now.

"STAN! STAN! Get up!" I shake him and he groans groggily.

Well, at least I did end up hanging out with Stan before class like I planned.

* * *

(1) Anyone who has seen BASEketball will know it's connection to South Park. If you haven't seen it, I recommend watching it. Funny as hell.


	12. Angels and Eye Drops

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews once again. You guys are awesome. Oh gosh, you all hate Wendy so much and it's funny. I feel bad for being responsible. Hahahaha...**

* * *

Chapter 12

Angels and Eye Drops

**Kyle**

"Goddammit, Stan! Wake up!" I shake him so hard that I worry his head might pop off like a daisy's.

Nothing.

"Stan!"

Nothing.

This is bad.

This is so bad. Not only is our bitch of a principle going to do more than just pop off both of our heads, but how the hell am I going to explain this to Kenny when I will inevitably see him on the weekend. And worse, how am I going to come up with an excuse to this when I run into Wendy, who happens to be my girlfriend, the one who I ditched last night for Stan.

"Stan please for the love of Abraham, wake up!" I give him a harder shake than last time, not caring if his head flew off or not.

After many groggy groans and shakes, Stan finally opens his eyes and looks up at me. "Five more minutes..." he groans into my neck and it makes make shiver with pleasure as he closes his eyes again. His eyelashes start to tickle my skin and he even goes as far as tightening his grip on me to cuddle closer. Not that I'm not enjoying being 'closer' to Stan and having this remind me of the various sleepovers we had back when we were kids that lasted till our senior years in high school, but if we don't get our asses up for school we're going to face something that could equal the wrath of a pissed off Shelly Marsh.

I shudder at the thought of our impending doom.

"STAN! We're already two hours late!" I shrug my shoulders as hard as I can to move his head so that he would at least realize the seriousness of the situation.

With that, his eyes finally snap open with alertness. "What? Shit!" he practically flies off the couch, almost knocking me down in the process. He searches around the living room for his book bag and pulls on his sneakers while swinging over said bag over his torso. "Come on dude! What are you waiting for?" he panics, not even to bother to fix his messed up hair as he scurries around to make sure he has everything needed for the day.

This time I'm the one who's left on the couch with Stan rushing me. The sudden switch of positions almost makes me laugh as I quickly compose myself and get up from my spot to get ready to rush out the door with Stan. I practically jump into my shoes, and as I lace them up, I watch Stan jump up and down in panic in his spot. He reminds of someone who really needs to pee and I smile to myself. Although, this should anything but a laughing situation, the thought of being late for school with Stan reminds me of the good times back in high school. Back when we would always get scolded by the teachers for being late because either Stan would wake up late and I would be waiting up on him, or I would pull an all-nighter on an assignment and Stan would have to literally come into my house and drag me away from my homework.

"Crap, crap, crap. My first week at the school and I'm already going to get fired for being late." He paces in his spot while biting his nails.

"Come on. Let's go!" I immediately reach for his door and open it, seeing as how I have nothing that I brought with me to take besides my wallet. I'll leave the drinks for later.

I literally shove Stan out and he quickly locks his front door but fumbles when trying to put his keys back into his pocket. "Oh God..." he continues to panic as we literally fly out of the apartment building and start making a beeline for the high school nearby.

"Oh man, I'm totally screwed." He complains as we run. "What am I gonna do if I really do get fired?"

"Stan, you're not going to get fired, so relax. If anything, Mrs. Johnson will just make us take care of a crap load of stuff for committees and meetings as punishment." He sigh as I remember the frightening amounts of paper work I had to take care of when the only thing I did was rub Mrs. Johnson the wrong way during my first week teaching at Denver High.

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better." He huffs out as we wait at the intersection for the light to change.

I chuckle at this. We're actually taking like good friends despite the situation and the chance at being Mrs. Johnson's personal slave for the next few months. It could be the seriousness of the problem at hand, but I like how there's no awkward moments between our conversation. Not only because there's no need for any awkward politeness, but we're talking nonstop like good friends. And comfortably too, might I add even if my lungs aren't feeling their best at the speed we're jogging now as the lights change for us to cross.

But I'm having the time of my life.

As we approach the school, we both swing the door open with such force that I would have been worried that we might have dented the wall if my mind wasn't preoccupied with getting to class on time. I peer down the quiet and empty hallway, feeling that at any moment Mrs. Johnson will step out and chew us out for being 'tardy' as she would put it.

"I'm sorry, Kyle." Stan apologizes as he slows down his running speed to a quiet quick pace through the hall to not disturb any classes in progress. I do the same and match his pace.

"Don't worry about it." I smile. "I had a blast yesterday."

Stan glances at me briefly before facing the front again and I could have sworn there was a slight blush before his grin widens. "Really?" he asks innocently.

"Yeah, is it okay if we do it again?" I ask but this time I'm not a nervous wreck. This time I'm determined to show Stan that I want to be his friend again and that we can put the past behind us so we can pick up the shattered pieces we left behind. So I can get my best friend back and we can both be like kids again.

Stan stops in front of his office door and reaches for his keys. "You bet." His smile beams so brightly that it's the happiest I've seen him this past week. The thought sends me flying and it makes me happy that Stan is enjoying the fact that I want to spend more time with him. At least now he knows that I want to make an effort with him. Usually that means a good development of friendship, right?

I'm so happy that even if I was thrown in the face of bad news it wouldn't even faze me.

"I just hope a student didn't die while you were away for those two hours." I joke happily at this thought.

"That's not even funny." He replies but laughs anyways.

My grin imitates Stan's and before I can even say anything, an obnoxious voice comes booming from the end of the hallway that scares the crap out of the both of us to the point where Stan drops his keys.

"Broflovski!" Mrs. Johnson glares at us and makes me assume she's addressing BOTH Stan and I with my last name. She stands on the other end of the hallway with her arms crossed and continues her infamous death-glare that is so well known throughout the faculty of the school.

I guess she won't be referring to Stan as 'Mr. Marsh' anytime soon.

xxxxx

"And make sure you two don't get on my bad side again! Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Mrs. Johnson." We both reply simultaneously and sternly, reminding back when we always got into trouble with the principle at South Park Elementary.

"Good. You get your ass back to the office." She points at Stan and he swallows quite loudly.

"And you," she turns to me with more malice than with Stan. "oh you, I have a lot more paperwork that needs to be dealt with." She almost cackles malevolently.

I open my mouth to protest that there's still a certain class who's student need my attention. "But-." I begin to voice my protest.

"But nothing! You're already being filled in with a substitute." She shoots back, as if she was reading my mind the entire time. "Now back to the office." She says to Stan once again.

Stan nods and gives me a slight smile before exiting, one that says 'I'll see you later.' and I grin to myself before facing Mrs. Johnson again, excited that this won't be the last time that I will see Stan despite the trouble that we're in.

I'm not sure if my happiness was obviously visible to the principle or what, but she looks at me for a few seconds and then waves me off. "It's lunch time, Broflovski, get you and your giddy ass out of here... just finish the paperwork after lunch. You're disgusting me." She scoffs and pushes herself off the leather chair to get a coffee.

All I can do is nod without having my already red face get any more dark then it already is. And as I step out of that less than comforting office, my stomach rumbles. I clutch it and make a mental note to grab whatever they're serving in the cafeteria even though the food in this school is not the cheapest in the world. Usually I would bring my own lunch, but today is an exception after all. The lack of time to have a decent breakfast can make all the difference in the world.

As I approach the cafeteria looking forward to fill my poor screaming stomach, a hand stops me and I turn around to be greeted by the office secretary. "Yes?" I say a bit irritated that my lunch will be delayed for something that's probably unnecessary.

"Could you come to the office?"

Ugh. I knew it.

I sigh and apparently show my annoyance quite evidentially with the way the secretary grimaces at my reaction. I sigh feeling sorry that I took my frustrations out on someone innocent. "Can this please wait until after lunch?" I state firmly but with a much more politer tone this time.

"Um, actually, I was told that you have to come immediately." She speaks with caution, trying to be careful as to not piss me off again. She even takes a step back as if I would be crazy enough to reach out and hit her.

Maybe, if she kept up her current behaviour I might.

"Alright, alright." I step back and start to head to the office. It must be Mrs. Johnson again.

"That's great! I'll see you later." She smiles and quickly heads into the cafeteria herself, almost as if she's mocking the fact that she gets to enjoy her lunch while still have work to attend to. Either that or she's just happy that she has an escape route to distance herself from violent old me. I scoff at the idea pace back to the way I came. Mrs. Johnson must have changed her mind, I guess it was stupid of me to assume that she was nice enough to let me off for lunch.

After passing students running to the cafeteria with their friends and a number of teachers that greeted me on the way, I finally approach the much hated room and peek my head in. But to my surprise, I see no other than Kenny McCormick leaning on the front desk.

"Kenny?" I call out a bit with surprise and he looks at me from whatever he had his attention on.

"Yeah, that's me." He answers and I immediately remember the events that took place last night again. So much for relaxing and eating my guilt away.

I close the door behind me and look at the floor, hoping that he isn't too mad that I ended up ditching them for Stan. More importantly, I hope he's not mad at me leaving Wendy alone with them. "Dude, Kenny, about last night..."

"Save it." He raises his hand and pushes himself off the desk. "I'm just here to drop off Stan's ticket for the game." He pulls a yellow slip from his pant pocket and hands it to me.

"Oh, I almost forgot about that. Thanks." I reach for it but he pulls away, leaving me dangling with curiosity and anger at the same time.

"So, how was Stan last night?" he waves the yellow slip in front of him and grins deviously.

My faces turn crimson red as I attempt to grab the ticket from him like a little kid being teased by a bully. "I don't know what you're talking about!" I practically shout as I stumble when I miss another grab at the ticket.

"What did you guys do? My God Kyle, you're so naughty." He says sexually and it disgusts me.

"We just hung out and played guitar, okay?" I protest and make another failed grab at the ticket.

"You played with Stan's guitar? Is that some kind of sick code for something else?" he scrunches up him face and continues to dangle that damn ticket away from me like I'm some cat he's trying to tease.

I decide to give up for now. Knowing Kenny, he won't be giving it to me unless I told him everything anyways. Fucking perverted bastard. "Will you shut up for a minute?" I raise my voice loud enough that the both of us are scanning around to make sure no one heard.

I finally manage to snatch the ticket from him while he was distracted and quietly stuff the slip into my pant pocket. "Wait a minute." A very important realization hits me. "How did you even realize I was with Stan. I didn't phone you or anything...as far as I remember that is."

Kenny's smile widens. "How do I know? Oh man..." he begins and takes a comfortable seat in the chairs placed for office visitors adjacent from where I am standing. "Before I say anything, did you know that your girlfriend called you at least twenty times after you went 'missing'?" he raises an eyebrow at me and I take an uneasy seat next to him.

"Oh shit..." I suddenly again remember that Kenny isn't the only that I have to explain my whereabouts to and I mutter with worry. "Is she mad?" my voice shakes.

"Is she mad? Dude! Why would you even ask that?" Kenny says in a tone that screams 'are you fucking stupid or something?'

I sigh and reach into my pant pocket. Maybe I shouldn't have set my cell on vibrate after all, but still, I should have felt the thing go off if she really did call that much. "Yeah, sorry, stupid question." I say as I pull out my cell and stare at the blank screen in horror as I try to turn it on.

Over and over again.

"Oh crap..." I mutter to myself and smack the phone a bunch of times and finally accept that it is indeed out of batteries.

Out of fucking batteries.

Kenny leans over and glances at my cell. "Oh, I guess you didn't intentionally turn it off." He smirks.

I drop my head between my knees. "She's gonna kill me." Is the only thing I can muster.

Kenny drapes his arm around and laughs obnoxiously. "You know, I don't blame her for being so worried. Even I thought you got attacked by some druggie or something fucked up like that. For Chris sake! If I hadn't seen you and Stan walking back from my balcony my phone calls would've reached the same digits as Wendy's. Wow...I just never knew Stan lived in the same building as me. To think, I never even ran into him or-."

"KENNY!" I grab him and take him by surprise. "You DID NOT tell Wendy when you saw us did you? I-I mean I can't have her knowing that she was stood up for Stan. Do you realize how that will look? I mean...I mean...! Jesus Chris!" my face turns back into the shade it was when Mrs. Johnson chewed Stan and I out for being late, obviously assuming that we were late for suspicious reasons.

"Kyle! Calm the fuck down!" he takes my hands and pulls them off his shoulders. "I'm not THAT stupid. Why the hell would I tell her something that would get us all killed?" he jokes to lighten an already dark situation and I glare at him, warning him to shut up. "Look," he says as he takes my hint into consideration. "I didn't say anything. I just told her that you texted me saying that you had a family emergency and had to run home." He reassures me.

"And she believed you?" I raise an eyebrow.

"No." He looks away quickly. Then he quickly adds, "Mainly because your car was still in front of my building." showing that he also realizes that there was no way out of this situation.

I throw my hands in the air. "Goddammit, Kenny!"

"But!" he places a finger on my lips to keep me from getting any louder. "she DID drop it after I kept giving her different reasons."

I sigh harshly. "You know what, forget it." I stand up and rub my temples with my fingers. "She's probably not going to talk to me for a while."

"I think it's going to be more than a while." Kenny spits with slight laughter. "But you owe me" he also stands up next to me. "I was the one who had to drive her back in town because of you." He pats my shoulder.

My eyes fill with remorse, mainly at the fact that I know how much Kenny and Wendy don't get along with each other. And despite that, Kenny was still willing to drive her home even though he probably knew the amount of time he would be stuck alone with her in the car. "Ah...dude. I'm sorry." I mumble with guilt and he only smiles in return.

"Like I said, you owe me one for not forcing her home on her own."

I smile. "And I thank you for that."

"Can I ask you something though?" he starts heading to the office exit.

"Sure, anything."

"When you ran into Stan," he rubs his chin as he thinks. "who was the one who suggested to hang out anyways?" he turns back around to face me.

"Oh, it was Stan. But he said only for like ten minutes though." I shrug, unsure of where this conversation is leading.

"I see..." he continues as if he's a lawyer interrogating me. "...and it didn't occur to you that you had other plans. More importantly, Wendy?"

"I...I guess it slipped my mind." I reply and my suspicions start to rise.

"Slipped your mind?"

"Yes."

"Slipped. Your. Mind?"

"Yes! What are you getting at, Kenny?" I ask, now a little irritated.

Kenny thinks for a while and then drops his hand to the side of his body as he heads out the door of the office. "Nothing." He snickers. "See you this weekend." He waves.

"Yeah, see ya." I say as I am left standing there on my own with nothing more than more confusion than I initially started the day out with. Kenny is really cruel, provoking my interest like that and then leaving me out to dry.

xxxxx

I should've known.

Only this kind of shit happens to me. Only me, Kyle Broflovski can conveniently have a battery-dead cell phone when he accidentally forgets about his girlfriend to make things look worse than they are. Especially when he also happens to ditch his girlfriend for a guy out of all people.

A guy.

Boy, that doesn't look suspicious at all. I bet if I walked up to a random person on the street and told them everything exactly from the beginning they would think it's the most fucked up thing in the world. Not mention that the main person involved would be considered an insensitive asshole who ditched his girlfriend to get gay with one of his guy friends.

Basically I am royally screwed and I'll be extremely lucky if Wendy decides to brush off the whole incident when I see her this weekend. And I have a feeling that she probably won't even try to contact me until then, which makes things a lot worse since Stan will be there as well.

Life just can't get any better.

I check the time in my classroom and decide to check in on Stan since I'm done my lunch anyways. I just hope I didn't end up giving him severe neck pain from sleeping in that position. I know when I woke up I didn't feel like a million bucks with the way my body was tangled on that couch. Tangled with Stan's body.

As I push open the door to the infirmary, I make sure to make notice of my presence to save Stan from getting the hell scared out of him along with possible back pains. "Hello? Anybody home?" I knock slightly at the wooden door.

Stan turns around from his desk with what looks like a mouth full of whatever he is having for lunch and I almost laugh. "Mm, hey Kruyle..." he mumbles between his bites then finally swallows before I got to his desk. "What's up?" he asks with more clarity in his voice.

I chuckle as I take a seat next to his desk. "Please don't choke. I don't also want to be blamed for murder as well." I joke and he joins me with laughter.

"Oh! Here." I dig my hand into my pocket and retrieve the ticket. I hand it over to him just before he takes another bite out of his sub. This time a smaller bite, as if he actually took my warning into consideration.

"Oh cool! Thanks." He takes the yellow slip and tucks it in the wallet he retrieved from his book bag. "I'm really looking forward to it." He smiles as he finishes the last of his sandwich.

"M-me too." He feel my face heat up again. And for some reason at that moment I could care less if Wendy is pissed at me or not. "I hope we have fun." I smile and give Stan a light playful punch on his arm. With that, he chuckles and looks at me with his warm eyes that are a bit red, probably from the lack of sleep we both got the night before. "Your eyes are a little red." I mention to him and pretend that the only reason I'm examining them so closely is out of concern when really all I want to do is stare more at those ocean blue eyes. Their beauty is just so captivating that I can't look away.

He faces me and concentrates on my eyes as well. "I was too busy watching a certain sleeping beauty."

I think my face just about lit up brighter right then and there because Stan breaks out in laughter immediately after he says it. "I didn't mean it in a creepy stalker-ish way, Kyle." He reassures me as if I would accuse him of such a thing.

"M-maybe you need some eye drops." I reach into my pocket to fish out the tiny bottle the stranger in the bathroom gave me to divert us away from the previous topic we were on. The previous awkward topic. "They worked wonders for my eyes. Some guy gave them to me." I hand it over to Stan while keeping my attention on his feet as I let my cheeks settle down.

He stares at it in his palm for a minute before he reaches into his book bag to fish out a familiar small box that he had bought yesterday at the convenience store. It only takes me a minute to see that he has the same kind as the one I was given by my 'bathroom angel' as I dubbed him since the day I bumped into the guy. "Oh, you already have some then? That's great." I extend my arm to reach for the one I handed him.

He places it in my hand. "Glad it worked well for you. That's why I had to go get another one." He smiles and opens his own box to use.

Wait a minute.

"Yeah, it was me who you ran into." He replies without the least bit of care in the world as he takes the dropper out of the bottle. "I'm, just surprised you didn't know it was me at all." He muses.

My jaw nearly drops to the floor. "That was you?"

Stan chuckles even though he's in the middle of dropping liquid in his eyes. "Yeah, at first I thought that you just really didn't remember me at all." I says almost sadly and it stings my heart. "But then I remembered that you can't see squat without your contacts on, so I decided to take my chances the next time I saw you. And you didn't look like you wanted to talk anyways." He continues and surprises me that he still remembers all those details about me. Even Wendy often forgets that I wear contacts and when I take them out she always looks at me as if I'm insane that I sudden can't see as well. I just hate it when she does that. Especially when she asks me look over something for her that's in tiny writing and when I bring the paper closely up my face to see the small text, she would pull the sheet away from me and tell me that I'll ruin my vision if I keep reading like that. Then she would give me this shocked look and say "Oops, I forgot." awkwardly.

The fact that Stan remembers after so long is refreshing.

He blinks a few times to let the fluid take it's effect in his eyes as some of it runs down his cheek, reminding me of that tearful gaze I constantly have nightmares about . It makes me want to reach out and hold him since I am half convinced with the illusion that he is crying.

But then he looks up and smiles as he wipes the remaining fluid off his cheeks. "And you can probably guess how relieved I was when we finally saw each other at school." My face softens and he places a hand on mine. "Thanks for remembering." He says and I pull him into a hug without further question.

I don't care if we've only 'met' days ago or that there was a huge gap of time between our friendship and that what could've been was lost during that period, but one thing is for certain. I need him more than anything. I need him to be my friend again, that friend that I've longed for so long since our departure. I need him in my life and to be the one who also needs me just like back in the day where we watched each other's back. But most of all, I need him to be my everything. My best friend...my...

"_You're my angel."_ Is what I want to say to him but all I can do is nod and let him hug me back.


	13. Skittles

**A/N: Finally another update! Sorry it took so long. But I had to get over a huge writer's block. This chapter is pretty long so bear with me. We'll start to see things from Stan's perspective quite soon! Oh, and regarding Kenny's 'wife', you WILL find out who it is, I'm just not telling you when. Ha ha... I'll drop hints here and there but they're subtle ones. And for those of you who do know who it is somehow...SHHH! And don't ask me who it is cause I can't reveal that just yet. For now, enjoy a Kenny and Wendy bitch fight.  
**

**Grammar/spelling errors take up the majority of this chapter because I'm tired of editing this. I'll fix them if I do spot them.**

**-KK4E**

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Chapter 13

Skittles

**Kenny**

Tonight we all go to the basketball game. While it's supposed to be a night of fun and madness or whatever the hell you would call it, tonight is also the night Stan and Wendy come face-to-face for the first time in five years. Even though to normal people it's sounds more like a joyous occasion of two friends reuniting and picking where everything was left off, I can't help but think that today will be a fucking nightmare for Kyle. A fucking hellish nightmare especially since it's also been two days since Kyle ditched us for none other than Stan. No, my bad, ditched Wendy for Stan. And it's also been two days since Kyle and Wendy have spoken.

I look at the yellow tickets resting innocently on our coffee table and remind myself how unlucky I was to be caught alone with Wendy that night Kyle stayed over at Stan's. I know that if I really wanted to, I could've just went downstairs to Stan's apartment and grabbed Kyle the fuck out of there so he could take Wendy home. But I couldn't do something like that. There's a reason why Kyle forgot about Wendy and chose to stay with Stan over spending time with her. And I for one couldn't take that away from him.

I'm not Wendy.

I still remember distinctly the hell I had to put up with during those excruciating hours I was stuck 'talking' to her even though there wasn't much to talk about besides Kyle anyways. But then again, I wouldn't have been able to put her in her place if it weren't for that night.

(Two nights ago)

"_Listen, I'll drive you home. It's getting late."_

"_But he might come back. I have to wait a bit-."_

"_It's already past four in the morning, Wendy."_

_She grips the fabric of her skirt in her sitting position and bites her bottom lip, putting great emphasis on the worry brewing inside of her. And as she contemplates on the possible whereabouts of Kyle, she bites down again. Hard. So hard that I almost start to worry that she might cry out in pain or that she'll just bleed to death in front of me. "Just a few more minutes." She mumbles as she releases the hold on her lip, much to my relieve. _

"_You said that five hours ago." I reply, irritated that she's been here a bit too long for my liking. _

_She doesn't say anything but goes back to biting her lower lip, except this time it's more like she's gnawing at it than just biting lightly. I watch her and start to feel slight pity for her. Even though I could care less about fights between her and Kyle, it is a bit overboard for him to completely forget about her after seeing Stan. He could have at least called. But then again, if the retard HAD remembered he probably would have came back right away. Although I have to admit now I definitely know that it's more than just Stan's friendship that Kyle's after even if he himself hasn't realized that yet. As soon as I saw the way the two hit it off from my balcony I knew immediately that all they need is a little kick in the ass to get them to progress further in their relationship. That is, assuming Stan feels the same way as Kyle. It's not that I'm overjoyed at Wendy's misery, it's more about how her and Kyle are better off with other people. At least, that's what's it's about now. It's better they ended it. And soon too._

_I grab her upper arm, dragging her up from my couch. I can't believe I have to literally throw her out. "Come on. It's getting late. You have work in the morning." I reason, trying to see if I threw in something about work she would understand how serious I am._

"_But Kyle-."_

"_Fuck Kyle. You can call him in the morning!" I pull her towards the front of my apartment so we can put our shoes on. There's no way I'm telling her where Kyle's really at. I wouldn't doubt that she would storm down to Stan's apartment and drag the poor guy out of there so she can kill him when they get home._

_Wendy glares at me as I step into my orange converse shoes. "He texted me and said he had a family emergency."I lie and make quite a shitty attempt at it._

"_You liar! I'm not stupid!" she shoves me and I stumble, hitting the wall behind me."His car is still out there!" she points towards the balcony where the big parking can be seen. "What...are you saying that he took the bus home when he came in a car with me? Or are you going to say that he ran home on foot? Please, do enlighten me, Kenneth." She mocks and stares at me, expecting me to spew out more bullshit._

"_Wendy just shut it. You're going to wake-."I try to steady myself from the stumble._

"_You know where he is don't you?"_

"_Will you shut the fuck up for once?" I shoot back as I rub the injured part of my head. "No wonder why he left you here...Jesus." I mumble._

"_What did you say?"_

"_I said it's no wonder why he left your fucking annoying ass here!" I retort and her eyes well up. _

_I'm not going to flat out say that she brought this on to herself since she might actually start bawling in front of me with the way the situation is right now. Instead, I just open the door and step out first. "You coming?" I sigh without turning around. _

_She doesn't say anything and I assume she merely nods. I hear the door click shut behind me and we make our way down to the parking area in complete silence. For once we're not arguing while around each other. It's something that I never thought I would ever experience while Kyle is still considered her boyfriend. It's actually quite..._

_...nice. This strange and yet comforting silence. _

_I think I can honestly admit that Wendy and I could get along somewhat if it weren't for obvious circumstances. Also if it weren't for the fact that she is the biggest mistake in my best friend's life and everyone knows that the duty of a best friend is to not let his buddy continue his life with said mistake. Even if it is at the expense of some people._

_As soon as we reach my car, I unlock everything and open the passage side for her. But she in turn, she only tells me that she could have done it on her own and gets in. Okay, scratch that, so maybe I wouldn't be able to get along with the bitch after all. At least I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But who the fuck really gives a rat's ass for one person, especially if that one person is Wendy. _

_I start the car and we roll out of his parking lot without saying anything else after that. The drive is relatively peaceful with the silence lingering about. It almost feels as though I'm driving alone if it weren't for Wendy's strong presence. I mean she's not doing anything in particular that catches my attention but I can sense the anger growing inside of her is getting stronger as time goes by with her still not knowing where the fuck Kyle is. _

"_Why would he leave me like that?"_

_I turn to find her still staring out the side window. For once, I have no clue what to say to Wendy since this is one of those situations where I'm supposed to be the one to say something that reassures her. But that's not the type of relationship we have, it's more difficult. And also because I KNOW why Kyle didn't come back, making this harder for me to lie with a good conscience. _

"_Dunno." I simply reply with my gaze still glued on the road even though I don't need to be too careful of the nonexistent traffic at this hour. _

"_I mean he's been so distant lately that I even started to think that there might be someone else."_

_As much as I want to say it and break her little heart, I need to restrain myself. 'There definitely is someone and he is your ex-boyfriend.' would have been the simplest explanation but there is no way in hell I am actually saying that without guaranteeing that Kyle won't be coming after me the next day. Furthermore, Kyle needs to be the one to break things off with Wendy, not have me or anyone do it. That'd be a dick move. But with that aside, what's more surprising right now is that Wendy is actually sitting here and telling me HER problems. Me. The one who she despises._

"_Shouldn't you be telling Kyle this?" I ask to not sound suspicious that I know everything going on with Kyle."Or maybe even one of your girlfriends?" I add._

_All I hear is a defeated sigh and I glance at her from my peripheral vision to find her still not facing me. "Yeah, what the hell was I thinking? Why would I tell a creep like you?"she scoffs to herself._

_For some reason I don't feel as insulted as I should. I guess maybe I'm still a bit taken back at the idea that she would even tell me something so personal or the fact that I'm just way too tired to even argue with her. But regardless, our communication level is too comfortable for my liking, so I better make sure she's aware of that._

"_Hey, Wendy I know you're upset and all but could we-."_

"_Kenny." She says my name in a tone that one would use when talking with a friend and it was more than enough to stop me mid-sentence. "Just for tonight. Can we pretend to be friends?" her voice sounds disturbingly sad._

_My face scrunches up in confusion as if something happened on the road that threw me off."Um...yeah...sure if that's what you really want then..."I stutter, once again unsure of what I should say to her request._

"_I...I just really need someone to talk to right now. Someone who won't just tell me that everything will be alright."_

"_But isn't that what you what to hear?" I ask as I make a right turn at an intersection. "Isn't that what most girls want to hear?"_

"_No."_

"_Then what the hell DO you want me to say?"_

"_The truth, Kenny." She states as she finally looks over at me. _

_I glance back at her and find her stare to be a bit unsettling. Having a long time enemy ask you for advice and to pretend to be friends is not an everyday thing. Not only that, but she wants me to be honest with her like a someone with a best friend status with her would. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even step over the boundary of the relationship we have._

'_The truth?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Alright, then." I say as I continue down the long road. "Since you asked for the truth, are you saying that the comments that I've been making about you and Kyle's relation is a lie? You know, the comments about how I can't stand you and that you and that Jew are absolutely terrible for each other?"I glance at her again and she stares at me with disgust, to which I add, "If you can't handle honesty then don't ask for it in the first place. You should know by now that I'm not the kind of guy that likes to just fuck around."_

"_I see." She nods and gazes out the windshield. "So you do hate me after all. And here I thought you were just upset I was taking up most of Kyle's time with you."_

_She can't be serious._

_I sigh and slow down my speed to fifty after seeing the limit sign. "Wendy," I try my best to sound as reasonable as possible. "what you said was a hundred percent true."She grimaces but I make no attempt to soften my tone just because she's a girl. I'm not a sexist. "Best friends understand that we need time with our other half as much time as we do with each other. And even if a certain best friend A spends a lot of time with a girlfriend that best friend B doesn't approve of, best friend B would understand why. So you're wrong to have assumed that from the start okay? So don't you ever insult me by saying that again."_

_She doesn't say anything again and I narrow my eyes. "Look, I'm just being honest. Just take it as...I dunno... constructive criticism, okay?"_

"_You still haven't explained why you hate me." She says calmly. But I can tell she's anything but calm after hearing that from me._

"_I don't hate YOU in particular." I watch her stare at me in anticipation, encouraging me to continue. "But," she softens her expression, almost hurt. "I dislike you for being with Kyle under certain circumstances in the past." There I said it and if she kills me let it be known that I died for a good cause._

"_Are you talking about what happened at graduation?" she bellows, obviously knowing what I was referring to._

"_Well, what you did wasn't exactly Saint-like, Wendy!" I shoot back trying my best not to swerve off to the sidewalk. _

"_Goddammit, Kenny! That was five years ago! And I DO regret it thank you very much!" she shakes her head. _

"_No you don't."_

"_YES I DO! I was young and quite frankly stupid, so how can you blame me for something that's done and over with?"_

"_Oh, fuck me."I roll my eyes and say it in an uninterested voice as possible to piss her off more. _

" _I mean it, Kenny!"_

_Irritated to the point of being unable to drive, I slow down and pull over to the side of the quiet street. I park my car and hit the emergency lights so I won't get honked at if a car happens to come from behind us at this hour. I face her and look at her dead on. I'm so pissed right now that I don't think I can even form a sentence properly, so I take a deep breath to calm myself. "You mean what you said, right?" I reiterate her question. "Alright, let's say you can turn back time," I begin._

"_I'm not doing this, Kenny."_

"_No no. Stay with me and answer honestly because your answer will determine the fate of you and Kyle's relationship." That catches her attention and she focuses on me intently. "Pretend you can go back to five years ago," I begin again. "and you're allowed to change any aspect during that period that will affect the future, which is right now." She nods and I continue. "And you find out that if you hadn't pull off that deceitful little act of yours with Stan and Kyle before grad, your relation with Kyle right now would be nothing. Zilch. Would you take what you did back? I mean, you DID just say that you would."I emphasize my point._

_Wendy opens her mouth to answer and I stop her. "And let me repeat that this has to be the honest truth that will decide your future with Kyle."_

_She closes her mouth and thinks to herself , a little too long for it to be the same answer as before. I now know the truth. _

"_Now you know why I hate you?"_

_Wendy grits her teeth and looks at me again. "That's not a fair question!"_

"_How is it not fair?" I shrug. "I didn't force you to answer it. Did I have you at gunpoint?Now let me ask you this. If I dated your best friend Bebe under the same circumstances as you and Kyle, would you disapprove of our relationship?" I smile to myself. I'm on a roll tonight even if it is almost five in the morning now._

"_I'm not answering that!"_

"_I think you've already did." I start my car again. If I have to be stuck in this car any longer with her I don't know if I'll be sane by sunrise. "Now let me ask you this, how would you feel if Stan and Kyle got together?"I add just for the hell of it. I mind as well since she's already pisses as fuck at me. There's no way she can get any pissier. _

_Bad idea._

"_DON'T EVEN SAY THAT!" she screams so loud that I have to stop the car again. "Don't you dare say that again, Kenneth McCormick! Or I swear to God, I WILL make you regret it." She pants as she calms down. I just hope that it's not the calm before the storm. We're almost at her place and I don't want to be stuck arguing out here with her again. But I guess I brought this on myself._

"_That wouldn't be normal, so you can't ever say something like that again. They were like brothers...that would be so unnatural. You don't get into that kind of relationship with a sibling." She says in what looks like a desperate attempt to cover up reality with her reasoning. Of course Stan and Kyle were close like brothers, but their relationship was nothing like a familial one. It was more like a sexually frustrated relationship coated with a sugary best friend layer. Even if it was a shitty transparent layer. And I think that's why Wendy did what she did to separate them for good. Or at least tried to separate them. As much as she denies it, Stan and Kyle were just as transparent to her as they were with everyone they knew. If they weren't, then she wouldn't be sitting here denying the shit out of everything. _

_Sorry Wends, but I think fate is going to kick you to the curb this time._

"_I won't say anymore." I nod and start the car once again._

_After finally arriving at her place we still don't say anything to each other in favour of keeping the peace inside the car. Shit, I think after that conversation, we pretty much pretended that neither one of us existed to the other. It's just better off that way anyways. Things were getting a bit too comfortable for my liking and it was even more wrong of me to think that we could have been friends under different circumstances. I pull over, put the car into park. As I am about to unbuckle my belt to leave the driver seat, a hand stops me. _

"_It's fine. I can get out of the car myself." Wendy looks at me sternly before unbuckling her own seatbelt and opening the door. But I don't listen to her and leave the car with her anyways._

"_You really shouldn't be pissed at the truth Wendy." I tell her once again and she stops with her back in front of me. "If you ask everyone who's gone to school with us they'll say the exact same thing as I did."_

"_And I say you're all full of shit." She glares at me."Kyle and I love each other. And I see a potential future with the both of us."_

_I snort at her ignorance. "Oh really?"_

"_Stop it." She warns._

"_Jesus, Wendy." I gaze into the dark sky above and it feels like even the heavens mocks her for her ignorance of the situation. Her ignorance of Kyle._

"_Why can't you and everyone else just accept the face that Kyle and I are together? Is it really that hard? Kyle's parents seem to have accepted it, so why can't his best friend?"_

"_That's because you're everything Kyle's mom wants for her son. But for me, you're not anything at all I want for my best friend." I glance at her and see that she is trying hard to fight back her tears. Her lips are already trembling as whatever comes out of her mouth next will likely push her over the edge, to the point of no return. And the last thing the both of us want is to get emotional with one another. _

_Wendy opens her mouth to talk and as predicted, tears run uncontrollably down her pale cheeks. "You don't know anything about Kyle." She sniffs a few times to contain herself. "Things have changed since high school and he chose me over Stan! You don't know anything about him or us! So stop trying to sabotage our relationship!"she brings a hand over her mouth and sobs quietly into it. _

"_You know so little, Wendy."_

"_Just shut up!"_

_I can't stand it anymore. I just can't bear to look at her in this state. Any longer and I might end up coaxing her and telling her how I'm sorry and how everything will work out with Kyle even when it's not fucking true at all. When none of what she said is fucking true. This. This is why I hate her so much. The way she claims to know Kyle and how she pays more attention to where she stands in the relationship rather what makes the boy she claims she loves the way he is. I've known Kyle since pre-school and I know what makes him tick and what makes melt into a pathetic puddle of goo just at the very mention of it._

_The answer is Stan Marsh._

_For both of those questions, too. _

_I smile after reminding myself of that thought. "Good night, Wendy." I turn around and start heading back to my car. But then a thought occurs to me that I feel is something that I must say to Wendy or I would regret it for the rest of my life as long as Kyle stays with her. And if whatever I say somehow ends up affecting the outcome of their relationship negatively, then it just goes to show that even fate doesn't want them together. No. The fact that they don't belong together works better. It's not that fate would just arbitrarily fuck with people's feeling for its own amusement, it's just not stupid enough to let two people who aren't meant for each other to be together. Otherwise, there would be a lot of unhappy people in the world. I turn around and look at her hard. She almost stops breathing as if anxious to hear what I have to say._

"_Kyle," I begin. "is not a forgiving person." I state firmly with my eyes still fixed upon her and she only stares at me with bewilderment. "Just thought I'd let you know that." I add in as I retreat into my car to finally call it a night._

_If Wendy and Kyle are meant to be then there's no reason for them to part because of what I've said._

A knock on my door pulls me out of my thoughts and I perk up. I almost forgot that in a few hours we will be at the basketball game. Not only that but Stan, Wendy and Kyle are all going to be there. Together. And the person knocking on my door right now is probably Stan since Kyle did let me know that it would be more convenient if Stan came along with my wife and I while he and...Wendy met up with us at the stadium. And for some reason, he didn't sound too happy talking about it on the phone.

Gee, I wonder why.

"Could you get the door, dear?" my wife voices from the kitchen.

"Already at it!" I call back out to ensure that my delay in answering the door isn't from laziness.

I pull open the door and smile widely with open arms. "Dude!" I greet with welcome.

Stan takes my opens arms as an invitation for a big long hug and leans in, grabbing me with all his might. "I had no idea you lived here too! Jesus, if I had known sooner I would have paid you guys a visit on my first day here!" he laughs wholeheartedly and pats my head.

I have to admit, even though I saw Stan yesterday with Kyle, I'm still surprised that he hasn't changed much over the years now that I have a closer look at him. He still has that boyish look that the girls in our high school practically drooled over and that same fuckable physique that all the dudes envied. With no exception to myself of course. I do have a sweet body, but it's still not as sexy as Stan's athletic build. I wonder if Kyle thinks so too.

"I just can't believe I haven't even run into you. And you've been here for what like a fucking week already?" I pulled him into our place and shut the door behind us.

"Yeah, I can't believe it either. A week." He breathes out as he takes in the details of his surroundings. "Nice place." He smiles with particular attention to our living room.

"You can thank my wife for that. I'm a total slob."

Stan chuckles. "That's something I definitely remember." He jokes and I give him a playful shove towards the couch. "Oh! Your wife. How is-?"

"Stan!" we both look up and my wife practically runs over to us to give him a hug. "How have you been?"

Stan hugs back gently. "Good! I was actually about to ask you the same thing."

"Well we're still together. So I'm assuming things are good with us as well." My wife looks at me and I smile back with a wink.

"So Kyle tells me that we're going to him at the stadium?"

I look at my better half questionably to only be met with a shrug. So I guess Kyle didn't tell Stan about Wendy after all. I can understand why too. I could just imagine what an awkward conversation that would have been seeing as how one question would have lead to another until eventually the topic of Kyle dating Wendy would have came up. Then things would have gotten really complicated. I can just picture Kyle only telling Stan to just meet 'him' at the stadium in a way that could have meant that he would be alone or he would show up with another person. And of course, Stan probably didn't question him any further if he's as dense as he was five years ago.

"Yep. That's what he said." I say back, playing the same card as Kyle did and pretending that the thought of Wendy didn't even cross my mind.

"Sounds good!" Stan beams at the both of us and glances at his watch. "Maybe we should get going?" he points at his watch. "Want me to drive?"

"No, no!" I wave a hand in front of him, telling him not to bother himself. He IS the guest and I can't let him do that. "We already decided that I'm driving all of us. Except for Kyle. He's going to have to get there on his own." I snicker under my breath as I imagine a pissed off Kyle somehow winds up stuck in traffic and can't pick up Wendy. Now that I think about it, I don't think Kyle and Wendy have spoken since the night he ditched her for Stan. At least he didn't mention anything about talking to Wendy so I can only assume the two aren't on good terms. I mean Kyle usually lets me know if anything's been resolved. I don't want to get my hopes up or anything, but perhaps Wendy decided to not even show up because of what happened.

"Stan, you were the one who was invited so you don't have to do anything." I walk over to the coat hanger near our door and retrieve my orange jacket. "Besides have fun with us." I grin.

He smiles as he gets up from his spot and follows me except he only pulls out his gloves from his already worn jacket. "Alright, but next time I'm driving." He pulls on his gloves and gets ready to leave.

I feel slight warmth inside of me light up that Stan is the same as ever. I don't feel strange around him and I think I can safely say that he feels the same way around us. And not only that, but he still has that same spark in him that just draws you towards him merely through verbal contact. I just hope the part of him that's also the same is his feelings towards Kyle. Not that I'm being nosy and concerning myself too much with other people's problem because I have nothing better to do, but because I just want what's best for both of my friends. And from what I can tell from five year ago, nothing's better for them both then each other.

My wife grabs the tickets from the coffee table and joins us in front of the door. "Ready to go?"

"You betcha." I glance at them with a look of determination, almost as if I'm the one playing for Colorado in the state finals. This isn't only about the match between Colorado and New York, but also this is in some way a showdown between Stan and Wendy. Finally they're both going to be there at the same time in the presence of Kyle too. And we'll see just who Kyle picks. The situation is filled with so much drama and anticipation that after five years, finally, we get to see who's truly on Kyle's mind this whole time. Man, I don't know if I'm more excited about the basketball game for this imaginary war of love between three people. Ah hell, I can't compare. I'll just think of it as double the excitement today.

Maybe I should be a sports announcer.

xxxxx

Even though we arrive a few minutes early at the stadium, the entrance is packed with fans coming from different states just to see who will truly deserve the title of state champion by the end of tonight. People are even lined up passed the parking lots and into the streets leading out of the stadium entrance. To think, all of this just to watch some people shoot some hoops. But I guess it's more about the pride of the state you're routing for if anything. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if many of these so called 'fans' are just here because they bet money with their friends and they just want to see the end just so they can roll in the cash. It's hard to find true Colorado fans like us nowadays even though I've had my fair share of bets with Craig and them on state games. But that's not the point right now anyways. The only things concerning me right now is Kyle and Wendy. Kyle did say he was going to meet us out here somewhere but I don't see him yet. And he couldn't' be out of the streets because knowing Kyle, he would walk around to look for us and we would notice him sooner or later.

"Hm, guess Kyle's not here yet." I say while scanning the gigantic crowd.

"O-oh. He couldn't have cancelled, could he?" Stan asks and I can sense the disappointment in his voice. I can just tell that he most likely came here only because Kyle was the one who invited him. That's just Stan after all. He was just probably just looking forward to being with Kyle again after so long. The thought makes me chuckle to myself. He's as transparent as ever seeing as how I can tell all of this just from the way he asked me about Kyle.

"There's no way he would miss this game, dude." I reply.

"Oh yeah. He's a big fan of basketball." Stan brights up and I roll my eyes. _'No, you moron. He's here for the same reason as you.'_ I counter in my mind. Well, THAT part of Stan is still the same. He's still as dense as ever. If not denser.

The line moves forward as they finally send out more ticket tellers to open up new booths. Why they never send out more tellers earlier rather than at the last minute, I'll never know, but my worry starts to raise when I still can't find Kyle anywhere in sight. It's not that they won't let him in even if he shows up late as hell with his ticket but it'll be hard to find us once we're seated within the big crowd. And there would be no point in today's game if Stan and Kyle sat at opposite ends of the bleachers. Plus, the assholes running this place put up more than enough signs warning everyone that saving seats for other people is prohibited. Stupid rules.

As we approach our designated ticket teller, I look around some more, desperately pleading to an unknown force to just make Kyle appear. Once they take our tickets, we have to go in. We're not allowed to hang around outside for some stupid unknown reason all because of those dumb rules.

"Uh guys, Kyle's still not here yet." I say and Stan joins me in looking around for him desperately. It's obvious that he wants Kyle to show up way more than I do.

"H-he'll be here." Stan whimpers like a little kid looking for his mother and I almost laugh. Too bad his panic starts to rub off on my wife since both are now looking around desperately like Kyle's been kidnapped or something. I start to debate on whether I should call Kyle on his cell or not. The reason I refrained from doing so in the beginning was because I didn't and still don't want his cell phone going off while he's driving. And knowing Kyle, he would pick up even though he's been warn a bunch of times by me of how dangerous it is. Also, if Wendy's with him she might pick up instead and there's no fucking way I am talking to her right now.

"Jesus Christ, would you idiots stay in line?" I turn around to find a shirtless fat guy with the New York basketball team painted on his ugly chest. I'm tempted to beat his fucking face in. But he probably isn't the only one we're annoying. It's crowded as fuck here and the last thing people want to do is have strangers squirm around bumping into them.

"Jesus Christ, would you lose some weight?" I stick my tongue out and mock him as I turn around so I don't have to look at his ugly pig face.

"What did you just say you little shrimp?" he bellows and I know that the lady next to him, which is probably his wife, is stopping him from making a fool out of himself. Not that he hasn't already with the getup that he's wearing.

"Just ignore him! You're going to get us kicked out!" the lady shushes him and gives me an apologetic look when I glance over. I nod and flash her smile before pushing Stan and my wife further up the line. At least some people still have some decency nowadays.

After the three groups of people have given their tickets to the teller, we're next. But Kyle is still nowhere in sight. "Ah shit, where the fuck are you, Kyle?" I mutter more to myself as I go on my tippy toes to try and spot a big blob of red hair.

"Tickets please." The teller reaches out his hand.

"Uh...could you wait just a minute? Our friend will be here any minute and we want to sit together and-."

"Ticket please!" the teller raises his voice and cuts me off. What an asshole.

"Look, he's normally not late. What's waiting an extra minute gonna do?"

"Tickets please!" the teller this time just yanks them out of my wife's hands and starts punching holes in them.

"Jesus Christ! Do you people not know the meaning of manners?" Stan raises his voice and startles the teller along with me. Well, that was unexpected.

The teller hands back the tickets after punching the holes in them. He's almost shaken up by Stan. "Look, it's been a long day, okay? Rules say you aren't allowed to hold up the line." He sighs but this time sounding more sympathetic than an asshole.

Stan nods and accepts the tickets. "Thanks. That's all we needed to hear." He starts heading in ahead of us.

My wife glances at me with concern as we catch up to him. "Whoa, what was that, Marsh?" I laugh. Was he really mad at the teller's manners or was it really because the guy was being rude about something that concerned Kyle? This should be something interesting to think about while waiting for the game to start.

"I just can't stand people like that." He replies simply but with disappoint all over his voice.

"You okay?" I eye him with concern. He's giving off the look very similar to the same one from five years ago.

"I guess I won't be sitting with Kyle after all." He mumbles as we make our way up to the third row of bleachers.

I knew it.

There's still quite a few seats around us that's empty but I know they'll start packing up once the rest of the crowd moves in. But if we're lucky and Kyle ends up showing up then Stan can still have his little love by his side tonight.

"Ah, don't worry. Kyle's never late for anything." I pat Stan on the back for reassurance. "Unless it involved you." I wink and he blushes slightly.

"Dude, don't say stuff like that." He looks away and brushes off the comment as if it was nothing. "But I AM sorry for making him ditch you guys last time. I kinda forgot he had to go back after a while."

"I'm sure he did too."

Stan opens his mouth to say something but I notice an ugly mess of red locks in the distance looking around for us. Well, well, well, speak of the devil. Not listening to anything coming out of Stan's mouth I stand up from my seat and bring my hands around my mouth.

"HEY KY! OVER HERE!" I even wave my arms to make sure he sees us well.

Kyle looks up from below and smiles. And as soon as he spots Stan he runs the bleachers with a wide grin. "Guys! Good thing I got here on time!" he takes a seat next to Stan and pants, a bit out of breath. "Traffic was a bitch." He laughs and I have a feeling he's talking more to Stan than to my wife and I. I glance at him and notice that Wendy's not there much to my relief. She's probably still not talking to him and most likely didn't pick up the phone when he called about the game. I guess Kyle just took her silence as a no and came without her.

"Then how the hell did you get in? We didn't see you lined up anywhere." I ask with my curiosity perking as to how the hell he got in so easily. "Shit we also got our head bitten off by that four-eyed teller out there because of you!"

"Oh, you mean Tim?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Tim? What, you know the guy?" I ask again.

"Know him?" Kyle laughs. "I work with him. He's the school's janitor."

I burst out laughing. Now I can see why he has such a pissy personality. Who wouldn't be if they had to clean shit from toilets five days a week and also work on the weekends. "And he let you in?" I wipe away a couple of tears. "Shit, that's hilarious."

Kyle chuckles. "Yeah, I had to pull a few strings with him when I cut into line though. But everything's good now so it's okay."

"Yeah, Stan almost clocked the guy cause he was being rude to us." I point to a worried looking Stan while stifling my laughter. It's even funnier that Stan didn't meet the guy at work yet. Looks like he made an enemy at school without realizing it.

"Ah shit, he works with us, Kyle?"

Kyle laughs. "Don't worry, Stan. The guy's too much of a pussy to really do anything. Sure, you might have scared him for life, but he won't do anything." He jokes.

"Ha ha. That's makes me feel a whole lot better." Stan replies.

As more people begin to fill in, I start to look forward to the fun we'll all have tonight. Without Wendy to worry about, we can truly enjoy the game without any thoughts lingering in our minds about well...anything. It'll finally be like old times again. Like back in high school before everything changed for the worse after graduation. Even though inviting Stan was a total fuck up on Kyle's part, I'm glad it happened. It must have also happened for a reason too. And that is for Kyle and Stan to reconcile without the presence of Wendy to bother them.

"Kyle, I parked your car near to entrance of the stadium."

I turn my head to the direction of the feminine voice as all previous thoughts and joy come crashing down on me and sinks my heart into oblivion. I look over at Kyle and his face has sunken from total happiness to an emotion that I can sum up with every negative term existing in the English dictionary.

"That's great." Kyle breathes out and I can tell he is trying his best to suppress anything negative that might accidentally come out of his mouth.

My heart pounds like a drum in my chest. Never before have I felt such anxiety on behalf of Kyle. The poor guy probably feels it a million times worse than I do with him being literally in the middle of all of this. I can practically hear all resolve inside of Kyle snap as soon as Wendy steps down from the place behind him and comes face-to-face with Stan. Both their eyes simultaneously meet as Wendy looks down and Stan looks up. It was like something out of a movie.

Kyle turns away and doesn't make any effort to say or do anything. Whatever will happen can't be prevented anyways.

Stan blinks a few times and looks uneasy as he realizes who is in fact standing in front of him. Finally he swallows and nods to acknowledge her. "Wendy." He finally breaks eye contact with her by directing his attention on the basketball players down below.

Wendy makes no effort to sit down and gives Kyle the most cold look possible. I'm just glad Kyle isn't even looking at her right now. "Stan...it's good to see you." She falters with her attention still on Kyle and finally takes a seat next to him.

I start to feel bad for Kyle as he is seated in between Stan and Wendy. I have a feeling that he won't get to talk to Stan as much as he hoped with Wendy sitting so close to him. And even if he could, he wouldn't get away with it without getting into a big fight with Wendy later on anyways.

"So how have you been?" Stan, surprisingly starts up the conversation with Wendy. He must really want to patch things up with her as well. For some reason.

"Good...and you?" she replies with uneasiness as well. It's obvious she could care less about how he's been, it's just a kind gesture.

"Good..." he replies with that same monotonous voice she used on him.

I sigh to myself. If things get any more awkward I think I might have to go find different seats with my wife because this is ridiculous. No one said they had to talk with one another so why the hell are they even trying. Well, Stan should be the one blamed for this since he IS the one who struck up a conversation with her. He shouldn't feel the need to get along with her just because he thinks we're friends with her if that's his reasoning.

Wendy rests her head on Kyle's shoulder and he tenses up along with Stan.

"Oh, are you and Kyle...together?" I could almost hear the strain at the end of the last word. Goddammit, Wendy.

"We've been together for quite a while now." She says without pause as she responds, as if she wanted Stan to hear that.

"Oh, I see..." Stan mutters quietly. "Well, congrats." He chuckles lightly and returns his attention to the basketball players getting ready on the court.

Kyle doesn't say anything and pretends to be distracted by the something interesting on his fingernails while casting quick glances at Stan without moving the position of his head. He must want to grab Stan and explain everything to him with the way he keeps fidgeting and sighing every couple of seconds. Or maybe he's just praying that both Stan and Wendy aren't pissed that he didn't tell either one of them that the other might be here.

"Kyle didn't say anything about dating you, Wendy." He adds goodnaturedly but I know he's just masking the anger of not being told something this important in Kyle's life. What a way to restart a friendship, Kyle. But then again, I don't think telling your former best friend that you're dating his ex-girlfriend, the one who had part in sabotaging your friendship is the best way to starts things off either.

"I don't see how that would be a problem." She retorts as she masks her voice the same way Stan did.

"No, not really a problem. I'm just surprised that Kyle didn't mention such a minor detail in his life as a passing." Ouch. I can practically feel the cynicism in his voice and I think it's safe to conclude that Stan isn't a forgivable person either. I just hope he shuts the fuck up soon before everything gets out of hand.

"Then I guess I can say the same for you since Kyle didn't mention anything about you either." She replies and Kyle's shoulder tenses up even more. Come on, Kyle say something to stop this you fucking pussy!

Stan must have finally noticed the tense atmosphere, so he calms himself down and doesn't say anymore. He just turns to Kyle with a reassuring smile that's faker than Wendy's good girl act whenever she's around her boyfriend's parents. "Well, you two are lucky to have each other." He adds a bit of sarcasm at the end just when I thought he had come around. I guess he wanted to throw in one last thing before shutting up.

"Well, someone needs to fill the empty void that was left in his heart." Wendy replies nonchalantly and Kyle immediately yanks his shoulder away from her.

"Wendy!" his emerald eyes glare daggers at her as she finally realizes the fault in her actions. But it's not like Stan is any less guilty. He did technically start this in the first place so I'm just surprised Kyle didn't scold him as well. Could it be...

"You fucking bi-." Stan stands up from his seat with balled up fists. Looks like his temper didn't change over the years either.

That's it.

I reach up and yank Stan by the collar of his blue polo sweater, causing him to tip over to my side a bit. "Come with me to get snacks." I say as I pull my wallet out of my jacket while somehow managing to keep my grip on him.

Stan glares at Wendy and fishes his wallet out too. "Sure, let's go."

xxxxx

"We'll take five hotdogs, five bottles of Sprite and...two large plates of nachos." I order for us.

The cashier rings us up. "That'll be $21.50, darling." She winks at me and I shudder as I am reminded of the school secretary.

Stan fishes into his wallet to take out a couple of bills but I shove my money in front of the cashier instead. "I got it. Don't worry." I tell him, reminding him that he's the guest here.

"You sure, Ken?" he presses on.

"What did I say about you being the guest?" I smile and hand him some of the food. "What you can do it help me carry these."

Stan cocks a smile and takes half of the foam containers along with some of the drinks. "Glad I can be of some help tonight." He chuckles to himself and probably regrets the fuck up he just had with Wendy.

As we start walking, I nudge Stan over to the vending machine in the far corner and he looks at me questionably. "Wendy likes her sweets." I roll my eyes as I remember the last time we went out to the movies together she made her preference of candy over any salty snack pretty clear when I brought her chips instead of some Skittles. Stan merely scoffs at my comment.

"So what was all of that about?" I ask after a while of counting my change in silence.

"What was what about?"

"You know, you and Wendy." I place a few coins into the machine and debate on what I should get her this time. Maybe something sour to reflect her personality.

"Oh, nothing. We were just chatting." He says awkwardly.

"Chatting my ass." I snort, unable to contain myself at the ridiculousness of his explanation. "You were ready to rip her a new one if I hadn't stepped in."

"Look, I'm sorry. She you guys' friend and I shouldn't have went off like that. That was a bad way to start things off." He apologizes and I just laugh in his face much to his disappointment.

"Stan, I think Kyle's the only one crazy enough to like someone like her. So don't worry." I wave a hand in front of him. "But poor Kyle though...Jesus." I laugh.

"Well, she...she kinda pissed me off. I mean the fact that she tried to piss me off pissed me off. Did you see her?" Stan protests and I make no effort to counter him for something Wendy deserved.

"Yeah, I did see her." I rub my chin as I look at my selections. "And you're right she was blatantly trying to piss you off."

"Yeah! You see?"

"But so were you." I focus my attention on him.

"What?"

"That's exactly what you tried to do at the beginning, Stan. I mean what kind of greeting was that?" I snort. "Personally, I would have preferred silence over the shit you pulled."

Stan scoffs. "Seriously? You're saying that it was my fault?"

"No, I'm saying that you're the one who started it."

Stan sighs and resides against the machine as he waits for me to take my pick. "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have said that." He admits again. "I'll apologize to them both later."

"No! Why the fuck should you apologize?"

Stan flashes me a confused look after he shuffles the items in his hold. "But you just said-."

"I never said there was anything wrong with it, Jesus." I laugh. "I was just asking you."

"I never did understand you." He taps his foot against the machine. "And I sill don't."

The way Stan reacted has me questioning his motive for coming back to Colorado. I know he came back for the job position and all, but WHY did he decide to come back. If he really wanted to get away from this hellhole wouldn't he have tried to find a job elsewhere? I've run into Randy and Sharon on more than one occasion and they never said anything about Stan having any financial trouble so being forced to take this job in Denver is out of the question. I wonder if it's because of Kyle. I take a peek at him and it looks like he's still worried about leaving a sore impression on Kyle from being such a dick at Wendy.

"Stan, why did you come back to Colorado?" I suddenly ask.

Stan pulls himself out of whatever daydream he was having and eyes me like I've gone mad. "Why the random question?" he raises his eyebrow.

"I won't tell anyone." I insist as I press the button for my selection.

"What?" he laughs.

"You came back for Kyle didn't you?"

He stutters as he tries to compose himself with the question that catches him completely off guard. "Ah...shit." he seems to be unsure on how to answer the question and shuffles the food in his hands again. "I..."

The candy drops from the vending machine and I bend down to pick the bag up. "You don't need to answer right now if you don't want to, dude."

Stan nods as we start heading back the direction we came but we're still out of earshot from most of the people around us. "But can I just bother you again with something?"

He hesitates for a minute before answering. "What is it?"

"Would u have came back if it was only the job and no Kyle?" I don't expect him to answer it but it's still something he should think about later on when he's by himself. Just a little kick in the ass that's all. No interference.

Stan sighs and then smiles weakly. To my surprise, he looks at me with a face of sincerity.

"No." He replies simply.

I stare at him astonished. Could it be true? Had he really come back just for Kyle? Or is he really just fucking with me because he think it would be fun to have Kenny McCormick searching for the answers instead of giving them for once?

"Then...would you have come back if there was no job but only Kyle?" I find myself adding since I don't know when I would ever get another opportunity to ask such a thing like this again.

Stan stops walking and I also stop just a few steps ahead of him. He chuckles and tighten his hold around the food as he looks directly into my eyes. I recognize that look. It's the look of determination that I remember so well from back then. It's the look that Stan always gives when he says that he will win the national finals for the school football team. The look of sheer determination that made him distinct from the rest of the players on his team.

"..." He doesn't say anything and walks by me.

That answer alone is more than enough to tell me how things will go for Stan and Kyle. It's enough to tell me what Stan came back for. That he wants to claim back what he left behind five years ago. What he foolishly surrendered to Wendy without looking pass the irrationalities that were born from his emotions. The irrationalities that clouded any hope of being with the one he loved. And now, I see those clouds of irrationalities slowly part as that little light of hope shines through.

I'm so gay.

I look at the bag of candy and realize that the machine pushed down the wrong kind for me. Either I was too busy talking to Stan and didn't realize I selected the wrong kind or the wrong candy was placed in the spot of the selection I had picked because what's in front of me isn't what I selected. I could have sworn I selected the pack of Smarties but all that's staring back at me is a bright green bag of sour Skittles.


	14. Just Maybe

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. A little something called "back to school" decided to show up again so my hands are full until a future holiday. This is a re-uploaded version of the chapter. The ones who have read the first upload probably found the second half of the text to be really screwed up. The website did something wonky to it when I uploaded it so I had to manually fix everything myself. So I apologize for that even if it wasn't my fault lol.**

* * *

Chapter 14

Just Maybe

**Kyle**

"I'm sorry, Kyle. I didn't mean to go off on Stan like that."

"Yeah, right..."

"I don't know what came over me! Please don't be mad."

She didn't know what came over her? Like hell she didn't. I saw the hatred in her eyes when she made eye contact with Stan. I do not believe for one second that the crap that came out of her mouth was an accident. I would give her more credit if she had just apologized rather than deny the fact that she was intentionally mean to Stan and not act as if she had no part in the argument. I know Stan was at fault too but he probably wouldn't deny it like this. He would probably want to apologize to Wendy later on rather than pretend he didn't do anything wrong. But maybe I should be the one apologizing to the both of them. I am the one who didn't say anything to one about the other being here tonight.

"Kyle..."

I sigh for the millionth time since getting here. "Wendy, just drop it okay? Let's just wait for the guys to come back and then enjoy the game." I force on a smile that probably only made me look more stupid than I feel for not saying anything to stop the fight in the first place. I wonder if Stan is angry that I didn't jump to his defence when he needed it.

"Okay, Kyle." Wendy rests herself against me and I instinctively wrap my arm around her and rest back on her. Look at us, looking like the many couples here tonight to spend time with each other instead of watching the game. Except I didn't plan to come here to spend it with Wendy. I glace down at her and she's seems to be pretty content even with the previous incident having taken place.

"You're apologizing to Stan when he gets back." I say to her in more of a demanding voice than usual.

As predicted, her head shoots up. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I force a sarcastic laugh. "You guys argued like children."

"But why do I have to be the one who apologizes?" she asks defensively.

"He's probably going to want to apologize later on, so you mind as well."

Wendy lets out a big sigh and then nods hesitantly.

"Thanks, sweetheart." I say as I give her a kiss on the head and resume watching the players down on the court getting ready. Wendy leans back on me with content from the kiss, but my lips tingle afterwards and it's not the type of feeling that I was used to before. It's not a good tingle. This time it's different. It isn't that affectionate sensation anymore. It feels...foreign. It feels...wrong?

I close my eyes slightly to rid all thoughts. No, I shouldn't think that way. It must be the rush from the fight Wendy and Stan just had so I should try to relax and enjoy the game. But then, I do wish I was the one who went with Stan to go get snacks for everyone. At least that way I wouldn't have to be reminded of how I begged and pleaded for Wendy to forgive me for ditching her two nights ago. It was only yesterday when I had visited her to reconcile, but it feels like it's something that I should be pushing way back into my mind. Something that should feel like it took place ages ago.

I glance down at her again to find her comfortably resting against my shoulder. I don't know why it's so comfortable there for her since I'm a bit on the bony side. She may be enjoying her place on my shoulder but I'm far from feeling sunny. I know I shouldn't be thinking this way because she's my girlfriend, but I just can't brush off the tugging at my stomach that was left there from yesterday's meeting with Wendy. Actually, it wasn't just a mere tug at my stomach, it was something that rendered me unable to make love with her after we made up. And this is the second time that I had turned her down too. I even used the same old excuse as last time to...to...not have sex with my own girlfriend? No matter how many times I've thought about it, it's just not normal for a guy to not want to be close to his significant other. Especially his significant other of many years. Unless...there was something wrong with the relationship...

Something really wrong.

I take my arm off of Wendy's shoulder and she looks over with a smile. "Something wrong, sweetie?"

I shake my head and force on a smile, imitating hers to act like there's nothing wrong. "No, nothing wrong." I leaned in to kiss her lips but evade them to kiss her cheek instead.

Goddamn it.

"I'm glad you apologized yesterday." She begins.

Why is she suddenly bringing this up? I can't talk about it without remembering how I practically lied through my fucking teeth of my whereabouts the night of our double date.

"Oh, I'm happy you are." I reply simply, trying to prevent her from going anywhere further into this topic.

"But you didn't have to stay at the hospital with the little boy. I'm sure his parents would have been enough."

"Right. But I wanted to make sure." I lie again since there's no turning back from what I told her about the imaginary little boy who suddenly collapsed in front of the convenience store. And also how I had to help get him to the hospital where I ended up staying the entire night to make sure he was okay. Yeah, that was such a good and pathetic lie. I even hate myself more for the fact that Wendy sucked it up like a sponge. She was so touched that she praised me about how caring I was.

Way to fucking go Kyle.

Again.

Not even Kenny would believe such a stupid lie like that, so I don't know why she sees me as some freaking Prince or something. It's not like I'm the most perfect person the whole world, I make more mistakes than the average guy and yet she still excuses me every single time. And we always fuck afterwards. Well, except this time and the other time for some reason. I guess I just wasn't in the mood. No, what the hell am I talking about? It just didn't feel right.

"I have such a sweet boyfriend." She hugs my arm.

Sweet? More like a manipulative bastard of a boyfriend who left her a few nights ago to be with another boy.

"That's nice to hear." I try to make myself sound as interested as possible.

I finally check the direction of where Stan and Kenny headed off to and wonder what's taking them so long. Even though I know it would be better if they stay away for as long as possible, I want to see Stan regardless. At this point I could care less if Wendy is going to throw another hissy fit or throw herself all at me, I just want Stan to make it back as soon as possible so we can spend more time together.

As my attention drifts back to the players down on the court ready to get started when the coach gives the signal, I feel a bump on the side of me where Wendy is not and almost choke on my own spit.

"Oh man! Sorry we took so long! Long ass line ups, you know?" comes a familiar voice next to the dark haired boy sitting next to me who is also currently smiling apologetically. Most likely for what happened minutes ago.

"It's alright, Kenny." I reply with my attention still fixed on Stan as I take the portion of whatever food he's handing to me right now.

Hotdogs. Yuck.

I take the bottle of Sprite and hand the hotdog and the bag of candy off to Wendy. Maybe later on I'll get something for myself at one of the stands. I'm not in the mood for any food anyways. And it doesn't look like Stan is feeling all that hungry either with the way he just left his hotdog in its container next to him without much care. At least I won't be the odd one out.

"I'm glad the game didn't start yet." Stan says to me and I nod, trying not to create too much conversation that Wendy would disapprove.

I can practically feel his smile fad as he takes the hint quite quickly. So I try and make up for it. "I mean they did say the game will start in five minutes." I reply and try to make my nod seem like a gesture of deep thought.

"Oh, that's right. I totally forgot they announced it on the speakers." He laughs and makes eye contact with me.

I chuckle a bit only to feel a strong tug on Wendy's end. I sigh and contain my laughter so I wouldn't get my arm torn off from her. The last thing I need is more hostility between Stan and Wendy so I better cool it. For now at least.

The game finally starts and I can already tell that the other team is going to get their asses handed to them. I mean our team has won three consecutive games in a row so I'll be surprised if things don't work out for them this year. Yeah, they had a great start so things will turn out alright for them. It's always like that, not only in stories and television shows, but in real life as well right? I grind my hands together as I start to invent my own superstitious belief that if our team wins then it means that everything will work out between Stan and I. That we'll be the way we were before and Wendy will accept the fact that he's my super best friend again. We'll all be one big happy family. BUT if we lose, then it'll just show that no matter how things may seem to work out, it'll all be for nothing in the end if things aren't meant to be. This makes the game so much more interesting but in a terrifying sort of way. It makes it seems like the outcome of the game will also determine the fate of my relationship with both Stan and Wendy. Will I return to the unhappy days where all I longed for was my best friend? I just hope they win.

I hope.

"You hope what?" Stan asks.

I blink a few times. Had I actually said all those things out loud because I was so lost in my own little world to care about anything else around me?

"Oh, I was just saying that I hope we win." Good save. Now it looks like I was talking to Stan but it was he who didn't hear me.

"Yeah, I hope they do too!" Stan replies enthusiastically as he keeps his eyes on the teams playing. "Since I'll be out fifty bucks if they lose."

I stare at him in disbelief but also with amusement. Stan Marsh betting on a sports game? Whatever happened to that high school oath of never using sports for winning dirty money? Or better yet, in his words, it takes the honour out of sports. I guess he has gotten a bit less anal with sports over the years but that was the last thing I had expected from him. I thought I would never see the day. Except I have and it's unbelievably hilarious.

"DUDE!" I laugh as my desperate attempts to contain myself are proven to be pointless. I can even hear Wendy scoff on the other side.

"It was Kenny who betted me!" he points over at the laughing blond who finds it more hilarious than I do for some reason.

"Quite a game, isn't it Kyle?" Kenny winks at me and I flash him a disapproving look at the fact that he has betted against his own team. What a bastard.

xxxxx

As the game continues I start to become more agitated. So far, our team hasn't scored yet whereas the other already scored a bunch of times. So much that it's likely they'll win this season. As this information becomes apparent to me, I start to wonder about the outcome of my relationship with Stan and Wendy. Watching the players lose is as if I'm watching the potential crumbling of my life, as stupid as that sounds. It's like each player represents a fragment of my sanity and each time one of them screws up or gets knocked down by another player, a part of my sanity shatters and I am left more unsure of how to approach things rationally. I glance at both my sides and realize there's no escape. There's no easy escape from this. I'm trapped like that guy who's being swarmed by other players who want to steal the ball from him. I can practically feel him suffocating.

I can't take this.

This miasma of suffocation and confusion all around me. I want out.

I want out...!

"Kyle, you okay?" Stan examines me with concern and it is then that I start to realize that I'm sweating uncontrollably. My breathing has also becomes much more shallow.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just..." I look over and now Wendy and Kenny and his wife are looking at me too.

I've got to find the exit.

"Kyle? You okay?" Wendy reaches out to me but I pull back to avoid her touch. The touch that I would normally not have a problem with until today. I get up from my seat and steady myself.

"I just need some air..." I say as I quickly turn around and leave out one of the door that exits from the bleachers.

If there is indeed no exit then I'll make one. And if I can't make one...well that's just too bad. I sure as hell am not going to be trapped there another minute longer. Even if Stan is there.

I practically storm off into the opposite direction of everybody and place myself against the railings outside the exit of the bleachers. When you leave through the doors leading out from the back exit you would find yourself looking down from a pretty high level. So it probably wouldn't be a good idea to leave from there if you have a fear for heights like I do but the situation didn't exactly have much leeway. I just have to ignore the fact that I'm God knows how many stories from the ground. There are emergency stairs next to me for fire safety reasons, but I still wouldn't go down them even if my life depended on it. Though, ironically, I wouldn't hesitate even for a second to use them as a means of exit if I start to feel what I felt back in the stadium a few moments ago. But the thing that really bothers me is that I don't know if it is Stan or Wendy who made me feel like that. THAT is why I wanted out.

Ever since I started dating Wendy things have been slowly rebuilding for me. I was practically a wreck after what happened at grad and when I finally agreed to be with her things were starting to look a little better for the most part. Ignoring the fact that Kenny and her did not and still do not get along, my life started to have some meaning again even if I was living it without my best friend. I started to see that it was possible to move on. Kind of like that saying "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I saw it as an experience that would help me become stronger as a person even if it was at the cost of someone very important to me. But then all normalcy in my life was interrupted the day he showed up again. I just find it funny that there's no quote that emphasizes what would happened if the one that you have loved and lost comes prancing back into your life again as if nothing happened. Then what, oh great person who invented that apparently genius quote that every dumb author loves to stick into their stories because they can't come up with something original?

Then what?

I sigh to myself and realize that it's ridiculous to blame someone that I don't even know and possibly dead for my own misfortunes. It really is easy to blame others whether you know them or not. It's just an easy way to dump all of your negative emotions somewhere that's not your heart. I'm just so confused right now that I don't think even Kenny could make me feel a little better. Sometimes I wish things were as easy as back in elementary school where all Stan and I had to worry about was finding something to kill time with after school.

I don't know why kids these days want to grow up to fast.

"Kyle?"

I look over to find Kenny joining me against the railing.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask.

"The players are taking a break for a few minutes." He runs his hand through his hair. "And I also wanted to make sure you didn't decide to jump off the railing to kill yourself."

I scoff. "I'm so glad my safety comes second."

"No problem."

We're both quiet for a few seconds. My guess is that he's just at a loss for words as I am. Whenever Kenny's quiet it means that he either just doesn't care or he just really doesn't think his logic can fix the situation. I suppose that's just a logical way of him doing things. No use wasting your breath on something that words can fix. Besides, I know that he does care for me, so his silence right now isn't out of hostility or negligence.

He sighs and the cold air forms white puffs around his mouth. "You okay?" he asks with his attention directed below us.

"Just peachy." I reply sarcastically and he laughs in return.

"My god. You looked like you were ready to shit your pants back there." He grins and I roll my eyes at the comment. "But I guess I should've fought her off when she asked to come along with us. Sorry." He adds apologetically.

I turn my head to the side to face him but my back is against the railing rather than having my front face it like he is. "Don't worry about it. Who would've known that she would be so-."

"Bitchy?" he cuts me off.

"I was about to say inconsiderate. But then Stan isn't exactly free of blame either." I sigh. "By the way, are you sure it's okay to leave Stan and Wendy together back there?"

Kenny waves a have to dismiss what I had just said. "Nah, don't worry too much about it. Stan had to take a call from someone as soon as the break started. I'm pretty sure he had the same thought to get as far from Wendy as possible. And my wife and her get along pretty well, after all. So no worries."

I give a long exasperated sigh. For some reason that doesn't make me feel better even though most normal people would feel at ease after hearing that. My mind is in a huge state of confusion right now so I guess that kind of pushes anything that would make me feel better to the back of my mind.

"That's good." I comment on his reassurance.

"So who was it that drove you crazy back there? Was it the bitch or Prince Charming?"

I groan. "Dude, seriously it was none of them okay?" I'm so bad at lying that it's obvious he knows it. Shit, even I want to kick myself right now and just yell "Kyle, you're a stupid moron."

"I don't believe you for one second." Kenny puffs out a breath of air into the cold night.

"You're right. I don't believe me either."

He lets out a laugh and turns around to lean against the railing the way I am right now.

"I'm going to go ahead and guess that it was Wendy that sent you running out like you had diarrhea?"

I nod and he looks at me astonished. "Wow, you're not even going to deny it this time?" he asks with disbelief since I almost always deny his assumptions ever since I can remember.

"What's the point? You already know that I was lying." Kenny plays with the top part of his zipper on his orange fall jacket. That guy really has a thing for orange. I can't blame him though, he does look pretty good in it. He looks at the material in a contemplative sort of way. The way he always looks when in deep thought or plotting something unmentionable and then smiles as he looks up at me with bright eyes that seem to shine through the night atmosphere.

"You like Stan." He says. I roll my eyes again.

"Of course I like him. He's my friend! Thanks for the insight, Sherlock."

"No. I mean you LIKE him." He emphasizes without taking his eyes off of me.

As soon as I realize what he meant, I face the other way to hide my burning face. Goddamn it, why the hell does he need to bring that up now? Doesn't he realize that Wendy's my girlfriend? Well, of course he realizes it that's why he brought it up. I would use anything to distract me away from her. I'll just come out and say that there's nothing like that between Stan and I. That I'm just working hard to gain back his friendship. Jesus, this is probably the billionth time I've mentally said that but have verbally admitted it zero times. Now that I think about it, this would all stop if I just come out and tell Kenny. But for some reason I find it really hard to do so. Am I afraid? If I am, then what the hell am I afraid of? There's nothing to lose if Stan and I both feel the same way about our relationship and the fact that we're just two buddies who want to be best friends again. If I use that reason, then I'll probably be asking myself why I became angry with Wendy when she decided to tag along with us. Not only that, but I'll be asking myself why I was more pissed at Wendy than at Stan when they both got into that big argument back there. Dammit, is it because I'm just fucking obsessed with rebuilding mine and Stan's childhood friendship or is it something else that I'm not yet aware of? Things would be less complicated if I was confident it was the former idea.

"I knew it." Kenny gazes off into the direction of the door we both came out from.

"Knew what?"

"What happened to deciding not to deny anything anymore?" he scoffs and then glances at his watch. "Ready to go back inside? If not, I could tell everybody that you committed suicide." He suggests in the most calm manner.

"Alright, alright. I'll go back inside."

"Good," He replies and pushes himself off of the railing to head back in. "because I mean, there'd be no point in telling them that you threw yourself off the building if Stan is just going to see you at school again on Monday. That'd be just plain weird."

"Says you."

"That's true."

xxxxx

After Kenny and I enter the stadium again, he immediately walks ahead of me to take his rightful place next to his wife. It just baffles as to why they feel the need to cuddle and shit like he's been gone for years when he was only out there with me for no more than ten minutes at the most. I'll never understand them and yet I seem to get why they are so comfortable around each other. Mine and Wendy's level of intimacy is nothing compared to what they have. On the outside it may just look like we all just have a different kind of relationship, but after knowing Kenny and his wife for so many years, I realize that what they have is on a whole lot deeper level. I'm not one to pry or anything, but I think that those two are so connected that they know every aspect of each other's life in a way that there's no secrets. They probably don't even feel the need to hide anything from each other because there's nothing to hide. It's like they share the same mindset and there's no way in hell that it's the same with Wendy and I.

"Kyle! Oh, are you alright?" Wendy runs over to me before I even neared the bleachers.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

See what I mean?

I always have something to hide when it comes to Wendy. Even when we started dating and I caught myself thinking about Stan from time to time, I would deny it when she questioned my odd behaviour. And that's because I already know what her reaction would be so I always feel as though I have to hide something from her. Aside from that, if she really cares about my condition so much, I wonder why she didn't come out to check on me like Kenny did. Not that I'm the type that expects people to pity me when something's wrong.

I notice a particular person missing on the right side of me. Stan must still be on the phone with whoever he had to step out to talk to. There's still another ten minutes before the game continues and I assume Stan wanted to stay away for as long as the break lasts. Maybe I should check up on him.

I stand up. "I'll back in a sec. Just gonna get another drink." I tell Wendy and head up the bleachers.

She gives me another concerned look and tugs my sleeve. "Kyle, just relax. I can get the drink for you if you're not well."

"No really. I'll be okay. I just...need to walk it off." I'm really getting tired of lying to her.

"But you look pale. Why don't we head home? I'll drive."

"I said I was fine, Wendy." I grumble in a much lower tone and she quiets up. My gaze immediately softens at her reaction and I bed down slightly to her level with a smile. "Don't worry about me. I'm just tired." I say and kiss her cheek before I head off.

Wendy forces on a smile before I make a right at the corner and I can already tell that even she can sense there's something up with me. But I have to be cool. I can't allow myself to be distracted by personal problems. Tonight is suppose to be a night of fun for all of us and I don't want to have to be the one who ends up ruining it all just because I can't deal with my own incompetence in life. Or in Kenny's words, I need to grow a pair if I want everything to work out.

When I finally look up from the ground, I realize that I has been wandering aimlessly away from the court and had ended up in a quiet hall. I can still hear the various noises coming from the court only because it's just so loud there, but it's sounds all muffled out from where I'm standing. It's so quiet and every step that I take makes a creepy echo through the whole hall. How the hell could I have not realized that I ended up here? I guess this is another good reason to get my head out of the clouds for once. As I turn around to find my way back to where I came from, my ears perk up to quiet chatter that seems to be coming from around the corner. Either there are actually people chatting in the last place that I would pick to have a conversation with someone, or I've finally snapped from my inner turmoil.

"Yeah, don't worry, mom. I'll swing by next weekend. How's Shelly? No! You guys can't come visit me now!"

My smile brightens as I quicken my pace over to the source of the voice.

"No mom! I'm not lying I'm really at the game with the guys! No! You and dad can't come!"

As I near the corner, I quickly peak my head out the side and Stan nearly drops his phone when he sees me.

"Uh..mom. I'll call you after the game, okay? Yeah, yeah. I love you too. Bye." He hangs up and looks at me. "You scared the crap out of me." He laughs nervously.

I step out of the corner and take a place next to him. "Sorry. But what the hell are you doing all the way back here anyways? I'd be scared too if I was alone." I reply without admitting that I nearly ran back to the court in a frenzy if I had not heard Stan's talking. I smile to myself at how funny it is that it was Stan's voice that made me forget my fears. Or maybe it was just the fact that there was a familiar voice around that comforted me.

Stan shrugs as a response to my question as he keeps his eyes on his phone. "I dunno. I guess I wanted to get away for a bit before the game started again. Plus, I remembered that I had to give my mom a call once I had arrived in Denver. And that was a week ago. Shit, was she pissed when I finally called." He laughs.

I chuckle along with him. "So you hide out in a place where someone could kill you and no one would know?" I joke.

"At least it was better than standing out in the cold." He gently elbows my side. "By the way, are you okay?" his voice switches to a more soothing comfortable tone.

I sigh at the remembrance of the suffocating feeling I felt. "Yeah, I'm fine now. Thanks for asking." I smile.

"That's good. I was gonna come out there to check on you but Kenny said he wanted to instead."

Ah, good old Kenny checking up on me in case there was something up. It never gets old. I remember right after the grad incident, Kenny wouldn't stop checking up on me every day despite my complaints. Even after he checked on me in person he would call me later on in the evening. At first I thought he was just lonely and wanted someone to share his misery with, but then I immediately realized that he had his wife so he was anything but miserable. He just cared. And I guess that's how we both became so close afterwards.

"Yeah, he gets worried like that." I grin. "That's Kenny for you."

"I'm just glad no one changed too much. Especially you and Kenny." Stan sighs in content.

"Why is that?" I turn to face him and even though I already know the answer, his smile makes me want to do nothing but gawk at him with a look of astonishment. But I'm also touched that he would be so considerate of our friendship too.

"It's just," he begins and focuses his attention on me. "after I left I thought you guys would hate me for leaving without saying goodbye. I mean, that's why I didn't want to say anything when I bumped into you in the bathroom at the mall. I was...scared that you would hate me too. And Kenny, I thought he was going to kill me today for what I did to you guys, but thankfully he didn't." He laughs. " I'm just glad that you guys don't... hate me." He adds as his voice trembles a bit at that last part.

He looks away from me but I jump at the opportunity to re-establish our previous eye contact. "I could never hate you! And Kenny too! We would never hate you, Stan!"

"Thanks." He smiles with relief.

"I mean what happened at grad was stupid anyways! So who cares! You're back now, so let's start over. This is a new chapter in our lives now right? So let's write a new story together!" I take his hand and he looks at me with surprise, making me feel like I had just said the corniest thing in the world. I offer an awkward chuckle as I blush and let go of his hand.

"Kyle..."

I brighten my smile to emphasize my point. "You went to N.Y.U. to prove something right? Maybe you wanted to prove something different back then," my face reddens again when I remind myself of Stan's reason for going to N.Y.U five years ago. "but look at you now! You're a nurse!" I exclaim with excitement.

"Uh...Kyle..."

"I mean in my opinion, I think you turned out the best out of all of us! You save lives for a profession and that's pretty badass! For crying out loud, you made something out of yourself! You even-."

"Kyle! I went to N.Y.U because I was scared!" he huffs.

My voice stops as soon as Stan cuts in.

What...?

"I..." he stammers but then grunts with frustration.

I continue to stare at him and he looks away from me. Did I just hear right? Scared? Scared of what?

I look at him with disbelief as I'm unable to process the new information that was literally thrown in my face. Apparently, there's something I did not know about Stan Marsh when we were still best friends in high school. And for some reason, I, claiming to have been his closest friend didn't even know about? What could he be hiding that was so bad that he couldn't even tell me?

"Stan..." I mumble but can't force the words out of my mouth. It feels like a déjà vu of the day I saw Stan for the first time in five years where we were both at a loss for words. It's that strange awkwardness that made the whole infirmary feel like an ominous place again. But this time, it's making an already ominous place in one that is horrifying instead.

Stan grabs my shoulders and looks at me intensely. The distance between us is only inches, but I make no effort to back away despite the horrifying sensation I feel from our surroundings. Strangely enough, I feel safe with him even if he is the source for the strange atmosphere. I can't back away now. No, I can move away anytime I want and just push him off, but I don't want to. I don't want to back away from him. His grip is starting to hurt me but I don't care.

I don't care.

I slowly notice the distance between us closing off as I prepare myself of what's going to happen in a matter of seconds. The movement between us is slow. The slowest I've seen in any romance movie or in real life for that matter. Actually, I don't think I've ever experienced it this slow and sweet in my entire life. It's like the time around us has stopped and we're the only ones with any sort of action in the world. Or better, we're the only ones that exist in the world right now. We're the only-

BLARE!

We both jump apart at the excruciating loud blaring sound from the court. Apparently it's loud enough to reach the inner depths of the stadium even if most sound from the court are reduced to mumbles from where we are. I'm guessing the visiting team scored again.

We both look at each other but look away as soon as our eyes meet.

"You know, maybe we should get back. The others must be worried." Stan awkwardly lets go of me to scratch the back of his neck.

"Yeah...I guess we should." I agree seeing as how what was going to happen isn't going to happen at all now.

We both start heading back in complete silence. I feel as though we have made two steps forward in our relationship these past couple of days but five steps back tonight. I guess we were both too caught up in the moment to logically think about what the consequences would be if we got carried away. Maybe it's best that the sound of blaring from the court interrupted us. Maybe it's best if New York won the championship this year.

Maybe it's best if nothing happened at all.

* * *

TBC


	15. He's On Your Mind V

**A/N: Sorry it took so long. I have too much school work that's stressing me out. I'm not doing that great on my assignments so I really need to focus. So updates are going to be A LOT slower than in the summer.**

* * *

Chapter 15

He's On Your Mind V

**Stan**

I was scared.

There. I said it.

I was so scared for mine and Kyle's friendship that I had to leave. I just couldn't continue on like that anymore without the fear of wrecking our seventeen years of friendship if I had came out and told Kyle that I loved him. I just couldn't take such a dangerous risk. I would have rather sacrificed a romantic relationship if it meant that our friendship would have went downhill if I had been open about my feelings. Not only that, but I was with Wendy at the time and I saw her as my only convenient ticket out of a situation I didn't want to face. That's right, I took the coward's way out. There was no fucking need for me to prove myself to Kyle if I had entered N.Y.U. No matter how much I had convinced myself that that was the reason and no matter how I tried to convince Kenny of that too, in the end, it all came back to my own fear that drove me away. There was no need to prove that if I can get into one of the best universities it would mean that I was ready to take the next step with Kyle. There was only fear and the desire to get as far away as possible before I cracked and told Kyle EVERYTHING I felt for him.

That is, that's what I thought before I realized I royally screwed up a relationship that would have worked out in the end with Kyle. If only I had been less of a wuss neither of us would have had to go through all that torture. But by the time I HAD realized that on the night when the grad dance ended, it was too late. It was too late to take back all the stupidity on my part and to tell Kyle how I really felt. It was too late to run out my house that night and into his arms. With the suffering that we underwent on my behalf, I was convinced that Kyle would never be happy with someone like me. Someone as selfish as I am. And most of all, someone who can't even be truthful to make the one he loves the most happy. Thus, I just couldn't face him anymore with that thought. He deserved better and I had a new reason to leave but this time it wasn't out of my own selfish desire to get as far away as possible. If it weren't for me, Kyle would be the one going to N.Y.U. instead having been stuck at the community college back home.

It was all for Kyle.

All for him, and the only thing I did during my time away was think about Kyle. With the way he looked at me outside my window and the way his voice pleaded from the other side of the door had me awake for many nights during my time in New York. I couldn't even concentrate on some of my studies and came pretty close to failing a number of them. If it weren't for some of the people in my classes who offered to tutor me, I would've flunked right out of that school. Not that my time at N.Y.U was totally awful, it was a good experience and I met a lot of awesome friends, but it would've been so much better if I had Kyle to share my happiness with. And speaking of my time in university, I wouldn't have come back if it weren't for what happened on that faithful day during my last year at N.Y.U. That day made me realize everything I had given up and that if don't come back to reclaim what I left behind, I would lose it forever.

And the person who made me realize all this was the last person that I thought I would run into after so many years.

(One year ago.)

"_So after the Christmas break we will pick up from where we left off after the exams." The professor closes his lesson book and smiles to the large audience of students in the lecture hall. "Good luck on your exams. And have a safe holiday." He smiles again as soon as the clock above him reach exactly three-thirty. _

_All of the students start packing up and I know the majority of them just can't wait to leave after that long three hour lecture with no break in between. Normally the profs would allow a twenty minute break after the first half of the lecture, but this guys is crazy. He never stops talking and just keeps going on and on with the lesson. Sometimes he even goes off topic which makes it even more difficult to stay awake in class. What's worse, I always leave the class either extremely hungry or with a painfully full bladder since none of the students are allowed a bathroom break or time to grab a quick bite. It's not that he outright told us we couldn't just up and leave for a break, but if you leave in the middle of lecture he'll go quiet and stare you down until you've taken your seat. He's so traditional that it's just weird in this day and age. Or maybe he just loves torturing his students. _

_I yawn and hurry out to grab some food. I'm just glad I didn't drink too much water before the class started otherwise I would be making a mad dash to the men's bathroom instead of the food court in the student centre. But as soon as I approach, I see the gigantic line-up and groan. You've got to be kidding me! How is it possible for a line to be so big to form so quickly too! I groan to myself and pick the food that I want and stand in line anyways. The last thing I want is to stand here with all my books weighing down the right side of my shoulder. All I want to do is quickly pay my food so I can get to hell out of here and return to my place to relax before I start cramming for my exams. I glance at the front of the line to only find a student arguing with the cashier who didn't accept her student card to pay for her meal._

_This is going to be a long wait._

_xxxxx_

_After twenty minutes, I finally was able to return to my apartment for some relaxation. But for some reason, no matter how hard I tried to just sit down and watch TV with my meal, I kept finding myself going back to my books to study. Even though my exams are scheduled for the week after next week, I feel like if I don't do something school related I'm wasting time. Or better said, I would find myself thinking about Kyle if I didn't busy myself. _

_I groan at the thought as I stab the piece of lettuce in my dish. It's been a long time since I've talked to everyone back in South Park. Well, with the exception of my parents who would call to check up on me every now and then and would also come visit on holidays since I refused to go back to Colorado. That isn't to say that Kenny and Kyle didn't call me the first time I set foot in New York. They called me, but I just didn't answer their calls because of the bad terms we parted on. As more time past, Kyle's calls eventually stopped after my first year of university. But oddly enough, Kenny still calls even to this day despite the fact that I never answer him. Either he must really want to know how I'm doing, or maybe it's a gesture as a way of saying that he still cares about our friendship and that he hasn't forgotten about me. _

_I glare at my textbook. Subjectivist theory, Radical Feminist theory, The Looking-Glass Self, Freud and Marx...why the hell do I have to know all of this for nursing? It's terrible that everyone in nursing are required to take a bunch of Sociology courses. And of course, they just have to be the hardest courses in the school. I sigh and throw my text book to the side. Maybe taking a few minutes to myself won't hurt. _

_As soon as I close my eyes my cell phone goes off and it's supposed quietness turns into a violent vibrate on my wooden desk. I take the phone and flip it open to find another text message from Kenny. Even though I never reply back he still sends me them to update me on how he's doing. At least twice a week too. A couple of days ago, he wrote that he was going to surprise his wife by making a kickass dinner and today it seems that the supermarket ran out of honeydew. I smile at this. I hate to admit it, but I get really happy whenever Kenny sends me these little updates about his life. No matter how trivial the detail, it makes me feel still somewhat connected to my previous life and that Kenny probably knows that I haven't shut him and the rest of the guys out completely. It's like it's his way of saying "we all know you're going through something tough at the moment and we'll all still be here if you decide to come back." But whenever he messages me he never brings up Kyle. I can guess why since it's a sore subject._

_I click on the reply button but like the many times I've tried to reconnect with Kenny, I chicken out and close the phone. Truth be told, I've always wanted to just reply back with a "How are things going?" or a "Really? Tell me more" but I always fall short with courage and back out. It's not that I'm afraid that I'll get chewed out by Kenny for leaving without as much as a goodbye to him and Kyle, but I'm afraid that I'll be dragged back into what I ran away from in the first place. I'm afraid that if I reconnect with Kenny, Kyle will automatically be brought back into my life and I'll bring unhappiness to Kyle again. I don't want him to sacrifice his happiness for me again._

_Never again._

_Kenny must sense this too otherwise he wouldn't still be texting me after all these years. He probably wants to maintain what little connection that I do have to my previous life so I wouldn't completely forget the support I still have back in Colorado. All I can do is sit here and imagine what kind of life they must be having back home through the text and hope that one day I'll have the courage to actually go back to confirm what my imagination is showing me._

_I rub my now tired eyes that are also burning and blurring my vision. Maybe some sleep will do me some good. Pulling an all nighter to finish my research paper for Sociology wasn't such a good idea. But then it couldn't really be prevented anyways since I was busy studying when I did have the time to work on my paper. But at least it's over now. I just need some rest. _

_(Next Morning)_

_It's suddenly feels so cold in my covers and I curl up. My feet are especially cold and it sends a nasty shiver down my spine. I shiver a bit more before I finally sit up. Jesus, the room is at least below zero! There's no way I can get back to sleep. I stand up with my covers still wrapped around my body and make my way towards my door. _

"_Jake!" I call out to my neighbour when I see him heading down the hall after opening my door. He's the one who went through the trouble to tutor me in the classes that I had problems with. _

_He turns around. "Heater's broken." He says as if reading my mind. _

_Oh. Well that explains the cold. _

"_Well, you're going to the student centre? Wait up, I'll come with you." I reply as I'm about to reach for my jacket._

_Jake shakes his head "Afraid not. We're snowed in. I'm just going to get our apartment manager to do something about the heater."_

_Snowed in? _

_I run back to my room and glance out the window to only find snowed piled all the way to the top. I know I live on the first floor and all but still. If there's this much snow then there's no way anyone can get out of the building from the front doors. _

"_Oh, Jesus Christ..." I groan._

"_Told ya." Jake says now in the front of my apartment door. _

"_Great..." I mumble and slouch on my bed, deciding that fate does not want me to be away from my books at all._

_After Jake had returned from the manager's office, he decided to come back up to keep me company seeing as how we're both stuck in the building and are the only ones who know each other well. The rest of the students renting here are either too busy cramming for their own exams or are just as too snobby as usual to talk to us. _

"_For fuck sakes Stan, your exams are still two weeks off and you've already started studying?"he asks as he picks up my text books from my desk to reorganize them in a neater pile. _

"_I have nothing else to do." I hand him a cup of coffee and proceed to sit down to drink my own. _

"_I dunno. Why don't you try hanging out with me more often. The beer in my fridge isn't going to drink itself you know. And if it did, I would be scared shitless." He takes a sip of his coffee and I chuckle. This guy really reminds me of Kenny for some reason. Appearance wise, definitely not. But they both share the same sense of humour. They would probably get along pretty well if they met. Oh, and Kenny doesn't have a British accent._

"_I mean come on Stan, it's not healthy to have your nose in the books 24/7. You have to have a life outside of that. At least I think." He adds._

_More like I DID have a life before I came to N.Y.U. The life that I threw away because I was a stupid coward in the first place. My smile fades. "You know why I do what I do." I mumble my reminder._

"_True." He sips his coffee again and we both sit in that familiar comfortable silence that we are so used to whenever we study._

_Jake and I met back in first year of university when he was my dorm neighbour. Eventually we became friends since we both discovered that we are both here for the same reason of wanting to run away from our previous life back home. Except with him, he just couldn't deal with his family's constant pressure for him to be a surgeon. So he ran away to study theatre and film without having to deal with the guilt of crushing his parents' dreams. _

"_All I have to say is that I'd rather be stuck in your situation than with the shit that I had to deal with back home." He continues._

_I sigh. "You're just saying that. You always say that."_

_He places his mug down. "I've told you this many times, Stan. All you have to do is call them up. There's no need to suffer the way you do. Seriously, this is your last year here, at least try."_

_I blow the steam from my cup. "Maybe you're right." I reply but unlike the other times that I have answered with that reply, this time I actually mean it. It IS my last year at university so I have to do something to be at peace with myself. Maybe I should call up Kenny or Craig...or maybe even...Kyle. _

"_You always say that too." He laughs as he reaches for my remote to turn on the TV. _

"_No. I mean it." I protest._

"_Okay, tell you what." He faces me as he takes another sip from his mug before putting it down again. "Go back to South Park for a visit. See if that'll change your mind about everything." He suggest._

_My eyes widen. "N-no way!"_

"_Why not?" he shrugs in that oh-so-Kenny-like manner._

"_I haven't been back in South Park for four years. There's no way in hell I'm going back to only run into people that I don't want to see. No way!" I stare at the TV to tell him that I'm serious. But his laugh makes me feel more stupid than serious._

"_Just be careful."_

"_Dude, you don't understand how small that town is. It's not really hard to run into someone you know when you leave your house." I counter in the most serious tone I can muster._

"_Suit yourself." He flips the channel to the comedy network. His taste in TV programs is even the same as Kenny's._

"_I mean there would be no point right?" I suddenly ask._

"_I'm just saying if you saw in person what is going on back in South Park, you might change your outlook on everything. Just saying." He says without taking his eyes off the screen. "Besides, how the hell would you be able to go back home without preparing yourself for the unknown. I mean, there's no way you can tell how much your town has changed since you left."_

_He does have a point there and I can't argue with him. I can't just rely on my imagination and Kenny's texts of what's going on back home. I can't just assume that things are exactly the way I left them when I left, so maybe, just maybe, it would do me some good to get a firsthand look at my previous life. Yeah, maybe it'll give me closure and if I'm reassured that Kyle is happy then I'll be grateful for my decision of leaving instead of regretting it more each day. _

_I stand up. "No, you're right!"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Jake, you're right! I need to go back home! You know, just to make sure everything is alright so I can get some closure. Then I can move on with my life! Yeah! Thanks, man." I give him a tight hug before I run to my closet to start packing. _

"_Whoa, whoa. What? You're leaving now? But we're snowed in remember?" he reminds me but that thought hasn't left my mind._

"_No, I know! I'm gonna leave as soon as they can clear out some of that snow. I want to do this as soon as possible before I chicken out. Besides, there's someone I've been wanting to see for a long time." I smile at the thought of Kyle._

_Jake trudges over to me and starts packing my books along with the clothes I'm throwing into my suitcase. "Just make sure you don't forget about your exams." He reminds me and I chuckle._

"_I definitely won't forget about that. I'll be back early for the exams." I say as I throw in a couple of more sweaters._

"_Good luck. And I don't mean on the exams."_

_xxxxx_

"_Next stop will be Colorado." He announcer over the air plane says and I wake up from my nap. I rub my eyes and check the time on my watch. I guess I dozed off while I was studying and looks like I left off at the formation of the identity and Cooley's theory on the "Self" in chapter 6 of my textbook. I groan at the thought that I have a lot more reading ahead since I didn't seem to get all that far. I'm just glad no one was seated next to me to distract from the little studying that I did._

_After we had landed, I make my way the airport to call a cab. I would call someone that I know to pick me up, but that would ruin the whole point of me coming back without anyone knowing. Suddenly the thought dawns upon me harder than any realization that I had to stop dialing the cab number. If I'm not supposed to be found out by anyone then where the hell am I supposed to stay? I mean I can stay at one of the hotels at South Park but that means I would have to cut my visit short to save money. There's no way a couple of days would give me enough time to decide on whether I should come back or not. If I count in the time that I'll waste behind the books along with sleep, that'll only leave me with only two days! I groan at the thought. I've only been back in Colorado for less than a few hours and already things are going wrong._

_What next? I get my luggage stolen?_

_I pick up my suitcase and start heading out. First, I'll grab a bite to eat, then I'll decide which hotel I'll stay in. And if I'm lucky, I won't run into anyone that I know. As soon as I see a cab arrive, I wave him over. _

"_Where to?" he guys asks me._

"_South Park." I reply as I stick my baggage into the trunk and hop in the passenger side of the car._

"_South Park?" he grunts. "Where the hell is that?"_

"_I'll explain on the way."_

_After taking two hours to get to a place that would have normally take forty-five minutes from the Colorado airport, I'm finally dropped off in the middle of the little mountain town. From what I can tell, things haven't changed all that much. There's still a very limited amount of people walking around and that Raisin's place is still there next to the local pharmacy. Not to mention, Tweak's Coffee Shop is right around the corner as well. I decide to pick the latter and less scandalous place to stop by for a bite. At least there I wouldn't be hounded by a bunch of waitresses trying to flirt with me to get a bigger tip._

_When I enter, the aroma of coffee immediately envelops me and I am suddenly craving for a cup of their coffee along with whatever I'm going to end up ordering. I take in the atmosphere of the place and it doesn't seem like it's changed all that much over the years other than a few more tables and the colour of the walls. I sit myself down on one of the seats near the front counter and flip through the menu. _

"_C-can I help you?"_

_I look up at the quivering voice and recognize a familiar spazzy blond from not too long ago. I guess that's another thing that hasn't changed much in this place. But he doesn't seem to recognize me since we didn't hang out much back then. He was always too busy clinging to Craig to notice anything else around him anyways. Besides, I'm more than just glad that that's the case since I can't risk anyone knowing I came back home. _

"_Sure." I scan the menu. "I'll have the Cafe Mocha along with the turkey sandwich."_

"_Okay. I'll be back in a couple of minutes." He hurries off into the back kitchen. _

_I chuckle to myself at the circumstances right now. Not at the fact that Tweek doesn't recognize me and I'm relieved, but because it just feels so much better being at home than at university. Even though I've been gone for five years, I don't feel out of place here. Right when I stepped out of that taxi I had a sense of home waiting for me. And I also immediately regretted having run away to New York for ridiculous reasons. My place belongs here and yet I fought against that and turned my back on everything I've cherished. What I could and couldn't have all belong in South Park. _

_My home._

"_H-here you are, sir."_

_I looked up to find my meal placed in front of me and accept it with a smile. "Thanks." I reply and hand my money to Tweek who looks at the bill like he is going to spaz out any moment._

"_Just keep the change." I quickly assure him and he calms down almost instantly. _

"_Thank you..." he mutters out nervously and runs back into the kitchen. Now I'm starting to wonder if he was so nervous because he recognized me but couldn't think of anything to say or he just couldn't bear the "pressure" involved in counting change for a ten dollar bill. It is Tweek after all, so it could be either or. _

_Maybe even both._

_I take a bite of my sandwich and I feel a hard tug on my chest. I've been away so long that even the bland taste of the sandwiches in this coffee pub makes me miss the bad food that I was so used to when growing up in South Park. Everything that I was used to comes swarming back to my mind and makes me feel regretful that I'll only be here for a couple of days. Not only that, but I won't get to really talk to anyone if I want to remain hidden._

_I take a sip of the coffee and pull back in disgust._

_I missed this._

_xxxxx_

_After washing my mouth out with a smoothie I got from a different coffee pub, I started making my way over to one of the newly built hotels in South Park. I don't know where it is exactly, but according to the online map it should be right across from the South Park community college which is probably about ten minutes by foot from where I'm at right now. If only the rooms weren't so expensive I would be happy about staying here for a few days longer rather than rush back to New York for my exams. But I guess that's the price I pay for breaking my oath for never returning to South Park again._

_I turn at one of the corner streets and stop in my tracks when I recognize a certain raven haired boy wearing all blue in the distance. And he looks like he's coming towards the direction I'm heading in so I duck into a phone booth next to me and pretend that I need to make a call. No doubt that he did not recognize me at all since he's running right past me and turning at the corner that I just came out of. I lean against the insides on the booth and let out a breath of relief. Whatever Craig was in a hurry for, I'm just glad he didn't recognize me. He tends to have a bit of a big mouth when it comes to certain things, so that was a God save. Now that I think about it, wasn't the direction he was heading towards lead to Tweak's Coffee House?_

_I take a few moments to compose myself. I keep forgetting that South Park isn't at all like New York where your chances of running into someone you know in every corner is slim to none because of its giant space. Rather, you can bump into your friends or relatives almost on a daily basis because everyone knows each other here anyways. And things can get around like lightning around here so I have to be extra careful._

_I compose myself and head for the hotel. At least when I'm there I can quickly book a room and hide out there for a while. Maybe later on in the day I can stalk around the neighbourhood without somehow being noticed. Then it suddenly hits me again, how am I supposed to go around the neighbourhood when there's a chance I'll be recognized? _

_That's just great. _

_Now not only do I have to worry about my hotel budget, but now I have to disguise myself so no one will suspect that it's me. This is ridiculous! I feel like some fugitive trying to escape the law and making a bad attempt at it too. I'll probably end up looking like one anyways if I really do end up dressing myself like a freak to not get recognized._

_Suddenly, I feel a harsh shove from my side and realize that I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't watched where I was going. _

"_Sorry..." I mumble hoping that it's not someone that I know. _

"_Watch where you're going, you stupid asshole." grumbles a rude pissed off voice that pulls me back to my childhood days._

_I turn around to ready myself for an insult war with this guy but stop when he looks at me in an almost cynical and yet surprised response. We both stop in our tracks to stare at each other._

"_Well, well, well..." he scoffs and I look away knowing full well that by the end of the day my visit will be the talk of this town. _

"_Yeah, good to see you too." I mumble in an less than audible tone._

"_And what brings you back here? Finally dropped out of that shithole of a school?" he smirks as he rests his thick arms across his chest._

"_No." _

"_Oh wait! No, you couldn't have dropped out on your own accord. They kicked you out right?" he replies in a fake voice of sadness._

"_Shut up." my fists ball up. I mind as well prepare myself for a good fight if people are going to find out about my whereabouts anyways. There's no use in walking off like a coward. I'm tired of that. _

"_Is that anyway to greet your friend?"_

"_You were never my friend, fatass."I hiss. Usually when people run into someone they once knew they would have this sort of fake politeness about them and at least "try" to get along for the sake of common courtesy. But with this guy I feel exactly what I left off with him ages ago. Even though we sort of stopped hanging around with each other in the middle of high school, I don't feel any different than I did before. _

"_Like you're one to talk, Cartman." _

_He scoffs when I say his name and looks away. As if he was just waiting for me to say it to confirm that I still remember him but is disappointed with the way it came out of my mouth. _

"_Why ARE you back here anyways?" he asks but this time I can sense that he genuinely wants to know so I decide to answer. I'm assuming we're both a little too old for the whole "fuck you why should I tell you about my life you asshole" routine. It was old back then and it's most likely old now._

"_I just wanted to come back to see how things are. You know, so I can decide whether I should come back or not." I'm assuming even Cartman is mature enough to not joke about something like this. _

"_Uh huh." He sounds uninterested and starts walking and I decide to follow him since it doesn't seem like he's trying to shoo me away. The hotel can wait. _

"_Look, you're not going to tell anyone are you?" I ask with more of it leaning towards a plea._

"_If you didn't want anyone to find out you are here, then why the hell did you come back? You know you'll just run into them." He reasons with annoyance._

"_Yeah...I kind of figured that out AFTER my plane landed." I chuckle nervously._

"_Retard." He snorts._

"_Well, are you going to keep quiet about this or not?" I catch up to him and also catch my breath. He's fast for someone so...so..._

"_Why would I tell? It's more fun watching you scurry around to hide from everyone." He laughs but I don't find that funny one bit. _

"_Cartman!"_

"_Jesus Christ, Stan! What the fuck do you want me to do about it?" he bellows, making me feel like the annoying one this time._

"_I...don't know..." I stutter as I lower my head in thought. That's right, I really don't know. He already said that he won't even bother saying anything, so why am I bothering him for? It's not that I don't trust him because that Cartman I know wouldn't waste his time on something that didn't interest him. So really, just what am I doing talking to someone that is barely my friend?_

"_Unless this is some sort plea for help? MY help." he scratches his chin to feign contemplation._

"_Oh, no. No way, Cartman. I'm fine by myself thank you very much."I shake my head as I realize what he's getting at._

"_Fine by me." He quickens his pace. "Go ahead and get caught. See if I give two shits about it."_

_I catch up to him once again. "What? You're saying you have a plan to help me?" I ask with sarcastically._

"_Maybe." _

"_Well what is it?" I press on, partly to find out as much as I can about a possible solution and partly to see if he's just bluffing.._

_He scoffs once again."Why the hell should I tell you if you're not even going to listen to me anyways?"_

"_Ah, alright I'll listen!" I threw a hand up into the air in desperation. If the fatass can actually help me then I'll be more than willing to listen to whatever garbage he spills out._

"_That isn't good enough. I'll only tell you if you agree." _

_I groan in frustration. I knew Cartman had something he wanted out of it. Most likely money too. And since I barely have enough on me for my hotel I'll have to decline on that. And plus I don't want to give him the satisfaction of ripping me off. _

"_Forget it then." I stop walking and start going back in the direction of my hotel._

"_Come on, you obviously didn't think I would do it for free right? These things cost money! Look at hitmen, they get paid to kill people. Things aren't for free in this world you know!" he calls after me but I refuse to listen to whatever reason he's planning to throw at me._

"_You aren't getting any money from me." I turn my head around and shout."Go rip off someone else!"_

"_Money isn't what I want! I think you and I have somewhat of a common goal." He continues but I'm still not swayed. I don't know what the hell he's talking about anyways._

"_Forget it, fatass!"_

"_Not even if I said you can stay with me during your stay?"_

_My ears perk up. Stay with him?_

_I stop to face him. "And how much will that be?" I question, feeling that there's something shady in his offer._

"_Absolutely nothing. That is, as long as you promise to help me after I help you with your little predicament." He smirks and I shudder at the suddenly icy atmosphere._

"_W-what? You're gonna make me your slave or something? Or better yet, a sex slave?" I question fearing that that is indeed what he has in mind. I've known Cartman since pre-school so I know he can make people do some really fucked up shit to get what he wants. But instead I get a look of utter disgust from him._

" _Stan, you can be a fag all you want in your own time. But if you start fagging out on me, then there's no way in hell I'm going to help you. Got it?"he places his hands in his pockets as he reasons his logic._

_All I do is nod and we start heading to his place._


	16. He's On Your Mind VI

**A/N: Sorry for the long flashback. It was written to explain what went on with Stan while he was away and to provide the reason with why he came back in the first place. I hope it answered some questions for those wondering about his life in New York rather than be bore you all. But don't worry its over now. Also, Chapter 15 and 16 were supposed to be one chapter but I had to break them apart so it wouldn't be excessively long. Sorry that this chapter reveals even more questions that need to be answered later on, hahaha.  


* * *

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Chapter 16

He's On Your Mind VI

**Stan**

"_What?" I ask with disbelief._

"_If you don't want to get caught then you have do as I say and stay in my house. God, is that so hard?" He pulls out an extra sleeping bag from his closet and throws it on the floor. "I'm getting the bed." He adds._

"_I don't care who gets the bed. I'm more concerned about you keeping me imprisoned here. How am I supposed to look around the town?" I also throw my bag on the sleeping bag, making Cartman grunt with disapproval about how my dirty luggage is touching his "clean" sleeping bag. Fatass prick._

"_Just shut up and I'll explain everything, you asshole." He complains again with his eyes still glued on my "dirty" luggage._

"_Fine." I cross my arms and sit myself down on his bed, again, making him grunt with annoyance. Apparently me sitting on his bed isn't allowed as well. I'll be sure to do that more often just to piss him off in the future. I look around Cartman's room and notice that that hasn't changed much either. I don't know why that's such a relief to me, but I guess it creates more of a feeling that things truly are the way I left them. I hate to admit it, but I'm just so desperate to feel at home again that I'm even happy with the familiarity of Cartman's room staring back at me. _

_Cartman flops down on the chair in front of his desk, where his computer is placed along with a few textbooks piled neatly in the corner. "Well, firstly tell me what you came back for?" he asks which sounded more like a grunt._

_I sigh. "I already told you, I just want to see-."_

"_What EXACTLY did you come back for?" he emphasizes and leaves me a bit puzzled._

_I look around his room for an answer, which is pointless anyways, and scratch my head. "Is this some sort of trick question? 'Cause I really don't know how to answer that." I break my eye contact with him briefly since I feel a bit dumbfounded at the moment._

_Cartman rolls his eyes and adjusts his position in his chair. "For fuck sakes, you want to see Kenny and Kyle again right?"_

"_Yes. That IS true. How do you know? I didn't mention it to you."_

_Cartman brings a hand up to his forehead to show his frustration. "Well, douche bag, you told me you weren't back to see family or anything so I'm assuming that that Jew and that poor piece of shit are the reasons why you are back since you all were such fags with each other in high school. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out."_

"_Okay, fair enough." I shrug and sense that he stills resents us for ditching him in the middle of high school with the why he emphasized the last part of his previous comment._

"_And you also want to know how they are doing without them finding out. Sounds a little creepy to me."_

"_Oh, just shut up. You don't know the whole story. Don't make me sound like an obsessive stalker." I complain and all Cartman does is laugh cynically._

_Bastard._

"_I know enough." He scoffs. "I go to the same community college as them." He says and I perk up with interest. _

"_Really?" I reply and try to make myself sound as uninterested as possible but failing in the process._

"_I also have class with them. One with Kenny and a class with that Jew."_

"_Stop calling Kyle that." I say with offence. After all these years, I can't believe he still calls Kyle that. I wouldn't be surprised if their hate for each other hasn't died down at all. And here I almost felt bad for ditching him. _

"_Okay, fine. I have class with "Kyle" and I know when they get out of class. _

"_And?" I ask._

"_We can see what they're up to after class so you don't have to wander around at random hours and get caught."_

_I raise my eyebrow. "Are you serious? I don't want to resort to something that juvenile." It's true, I feel a bit immature for doing something like that. There's no tact or anything that involves critical thinking, not to mention it just seems weird altogether. But for some reason, that seems like the only plan that'll work without me being noticed. _

"_Well, isn't that what you were going to do anyways on your own?" he counters and I have nothing else to say except agree with him. _

_I lean back on his surprisingly comfy bed and sigh when I remember that this is a two part deal. "And what I do have to do in return? You said you wanted my help too."_

"_I'll tell you after I've helped you so I'll know for sure you won't wuss out on me."_

_Fuck._

_xxxxx_

_It's been a few days since I've settled in my new "humble abode" and the only thing I've done is hide put at Cartman's place and stalk the streets during school and work hours so I wouldn't get caught. This proved to be useless anyways because Kenny and Kyle are always in school whenever I was able to walk around the town. And when Cartman had class with either of them, I wasn't allowed out of his room. At least I did manage to get some studying done even though my mind was on Kyle the whole time. I even thought about going out to town myself and risk being caught, but of course, I was too chicken._

_I'm actually beginning to think that this whole plan is pointless since all I get to see during my time out is people I don't even know. The whole point of this trip was to see what my friends, especially Kyle, are doing. Maybe Cartman is just using me for his plan after all, and this whole thing about helping me is just a load of bullshit. If it is, I'll be sure he gets what's coming to him before I leave. _

"_You ready to leave in ten minutes?" Cartman munches on his bowl of his cereal while leaning against the kitchen counter. I, on the other, am sitting down with a nice warm breakfast with my textbook open like a normal person. Well, maybe not entirely like a normal person since I don't really know anyone who studies during breakfast when it's a time meant for relaxation before school or work. Unless you're a nerd._

"_For what?" I ask without looking up from my textbook. _

"_Me taking you around town." He replies._

_I sigh and close my textbook. "Look, Cartman," I begin as I prepare myself to tell him the pointlessness of his part of deal and that we should just call it off. I'll stay the a couple of days more but I guess I'll have to cut my trip short anyways since I'm not getting anywhere with this."I really don't think this plan is working." I continue. I don't want to accuse him of using me yet until I have definite proof._

_Cartman scoffs and places down his bowl. "Will you stop your bitching? You should be grateful that I even offered to help you. It's not my fault we all have conflicting schedules."_

"_Grateful? You're only helping me because you want something out of this! And that reminds me, you still haven't told me what I'm supposed to 'help' you with." Okay, so maybe accusing him couldn't wait._

_He stares at me with annoyance and ignores my question. I knew it._

"_Well?" I press on. "You had no intension of helping me, did you?"_

_He rests an arm on his waist but still doesn't answer me._

"_Cartman?"_

"_Don't worry about it." He waves it off as if it was nothing._

"_NO!" I stand up from my seat. "I'm not gonna 'not worry' about it! I at least should know what kind of shit you're going to pull me into!" I' hoping that he would just answer me soon because I'm really starting to hate the way I sound from nagging at him. I'm even starting get annoyed ay myself, and if this keeps up I'm probably going to end up punching myself in the face rather than him. _

"_That's it..!." he grumbles. "...I'm skipping class today."_

"_Wait, what?" I ask with the most confusion swirling around me. Not only is this conversation not making any sense, but I'm not too sure what Cartman is planning this time. Again._

"_I was going to take you out before I had class, but now we're going at eleven."_

"_Ah...I'm so confused..." I bury my head into my textbook and grumble in defeat. For the past few days this is all that's been happening between Cartman and I, and it's been giving me a constant migraine. That's when I decided that the next thing after my textbooks that gives the most headaches is Cartman's logic. _

"_Sometimes I don't even know how you managed to get into university," he grunts. " That hoe gets out of class at that time."_

"_Wait," I stop him in mid sentence. "who's the 'hoe' you're talking about?"And if he's talking about who I think he is talking about, then I don't know how she fits into my problem at all._

"_I'm talking about that ex of yours, retard." He replies, and before I can open my mouth to ask about her involvement in this, Cartman beats me to it._

"_Her Jew rat of a boyfriend always waits for her after class and they...go out for lunch or something." He forces out and I'm baffled as to why Cartman is having such a hard time talking about something like this. But right now, what's bothering me more is that her boyfriend was described as a "Jew rat." I can only guess who that is._

"_Kyle...is with... Wendy?" I asked more to myself then to Cartman. Since when and why? The fact that I never knew about this shouldn't be too much of a shock since I practically stopped communicating with both Kenny and Kyle, but why would Kyle be with her? I know what happened at grad was ages ago, but Kyle is not the forgiving type at all. And neither am I, so what the fuck could have happened that made him change his mind? No, scratch that, what could have happened that made Kyle change? I've known him for ages and nothing could make him change unless it's something important. Something devastating that would have thrown his life off track completely. Something... that he could never forget about...could it have been me? Could it have been? I could be completely wrong and it could be a totally narcissistic thing to think about, but I know I haven't forgotten about it. And I don't think it's something that he could ever forget about it either._

"_Yeah, Merry Christmas Stan. How does it feel finding that out?" he says bitterly and throws his bowl into the sink so hard that think he might have broken it. _

"_Since when?" I ask, hoping that this is only a recent thing._

"_Not too long after you pussed out and left." _

"_Fuck..." I curse under my breath. If they've been together that long then they must have...I don't want to think of that now. But more importantly, does that mean Kyle has forgotten about me and what we had together? What we COULD have had together? Damn it, if my going away had anything to do with this, then all of this is my fault. The fact that Kyle is with Wendy, the possibility he could have forgotten about me, and for all I know, the chance that they could even be engaged to be married someday, is all my fault. And if I want anything to return to the way they were before, I need to take action. I know I had no intention of returning to South Park before, but now that I know it could be my fault I have to do something about it. I'll only bow out gracefully if Kyle is truly happy with the way everything is right now. I need to make sure so I can properly move on with the knowledge that things between Kyle and are settled. Or that there's still a chance him and I could...be together. I need..._

_I need to see him no matter what._

"_How do you know that that's the time Wendy gets out of class?" I ask with concern at the possibility that we could miss them all together if Cartman has the wrong time. I need to be sure about things if I want things to work out._

"_I just do okay?" Cartman yells. "Just shut up and do as I say." He yells and starts heading up to his room, probably to change out of his pyjamas. That's another thing that's been on my mind for a while, is way Cartman gets so worked up whenever Kyle and Wendy are brought up no matter what kind of mood he is in. It's just strange because he's the one that offered to help me with this in the first place. For all I know maybe him and Kyle's hate for each other has escalated in the few years I've been gone. And if so, I wonder what could have caused it. Maybe I'll ask him about it later even if there isn't a guarantee that he would tell me. It's funny how it's almost the same uncertainty I have about Kyle's remembrance of me. _

_I close my textbook and place my bowl into the sink as well. "Geez, you still didn't tell me your half of the deal, fatass." I mumble and decide to wash the bowls while I'm at it too._

_xxxxx_

_I glance at my watch and notice that there's still quite a few minutes before eleven. We both left around ten thirty and have been walking around the town to kill some time until eleven. I asked Cartman many times if he wanted to forget about skipping class and just go, but he said that the class was too easy for him and then went off to brag about how he's probably at the top of the class and so on. I started to tune him out until he practically had to shove me out of view and into a convenience store when Ike and some friends passed by. Looks like the little bugger grew up quite a bit from what I saw._

"_Should we start heading over to the community college?" I ask him._

"_Mind as well." He replies and we both start heading into that direction. _

_Our walk seem to be taking hours when in reality it's a less than five minutes walk from where we were. I guess it's because I'm a bit nervous about running into Kyle, but it's important that I see him no matter what. I just can't sit idly by and just accept that Kyle's with Wendy. I have to know how his life has been for these past couple of years and how he's changed. Is he still the same as the guy I once loved or has he become someone that I'll barely recognize? But how do I know how much I have changed too? If I do end up coming back, for all I know, Kyle could be the one who doesn't recognize me anymore. I should have considered this sooner, but what if the one that Kyle once considered his best friend is no longer me. Then there would be no point in coming back for sure. I wouldn't have a place anymore because I would be a stranger in a place that was once my home. I would be an outcast. I would be alone. I would be without Kyle._

"_Fuck! Get back over here you asshole." Cartman yanks the top of my hood hard and pulls me back into the corner of the building we just past. _

"_Ouch, what the hell, Cartman?" I rub the part of my neck that my jacket choked when I was pulled back._

_Cartman point ahead and I see Wendy, and a certain redhead with his arm around her. We're not that far from them, but I still can't hear what they're saying. And to my disappointment, they seem to be pretty darn happy about something. _

"_Well? Having a good look?" Cartman mumbles next to me. I ignore him and continue gazing not at both Wendy and Kyle, but just at Kyle. He looks so much more mature than he did back then but generally still the same. And that red hair, that red hair that I love so much surrounds his face and looks a little longer than before. I just hate myself right now that if it weren't for me running away, these small changes in Kyle wouldn't be much of a surprise to me. _

"_The way they are with each other is disgusting isn't it?" Cartman says as he still refuses to look in that direction. _

"_He...looks so happy..." I say with grim at the truth before my eyes. _

"_So what?" Cartman complains._

_Kyle and Wendy laughed again at something and they start walking hand-in-hand with each other that my stomach starts to churn. This is the last thing that I expected out of Kyle. Just what the hell was he thinking? I practically dash out of my hiding spot to follow them except Cartman pulls me back again. _

"_Stan, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"_

"_I need to see what they're up to."_

"_No! You're going to get caught. And plus this wasn't part of our deal. We agreed that I would help you get a look at Kyle and you would help me!"_

_I pull my arm from Cartman's grip. "Fuck that! I need to find out more." I run after them but also keep my distance so I wouldn't get caught. Cartman follows me as well and he doesn't make an attempt to stop me this time, so I continue forward. We should be safe anyways because it doesn't look like they will turn around any time soon._

_We follow them until they stop at a bookstore a couple of blocks down from the college. Wendy goes inside but Kyle takes a seat on a bench in front of the store to wait for her. I take the chance to get closer for a better view. In my head, I'm thinking that now would be the best time to go up to Kyle with a greeting. That is, it would be a pretty good idea if it was under normal circumstances. So, all I can do is watch from afar. Watching as he fiddles with the strap of his messenger bag, and watching him...suddenly look grim. I take a breath and study him carefully. His face just dropped as soon as Wendy went in. At first I thought that he was just disappointed that Wendy left his side, but now I realize it's more of an empty look. It's as if he had lost something and couldn't get back the same feeling that whatever is missing has brought him before. It's strange to see him so sad when he was just smiling a while ago. I can't really put my finger on it, but the current look on his face is like a flash of déjà vu. It's almost as if I've seen that look before._

_Kyle takes out his ipod and sticks one of his earphones into his ear and looks even more sullen, as if his music has brought upon a new wave of sadness. He sighs and I realize that that's the same look he had on the night of the grad dance. It's the same expression he had on when we were arguing through the door. That same heartbroken look he had when our eyes met through the window when my dad had to send him home for disturbing the neighbours with his yelling and banging on the door. _

_He looks unhappy._

_The more unhappy he looks, the more my heart tugs at the sight of Kyle. I really want to do what I couldn't on the night of grad. I want to reach out and hug and tell him that everything will be alright because I'll always be here for him. I want to caress his face and sooth his broken heart. I want to apologize and ask him to gave 'us' a second chance. I want..._

_...Kyle._

_I step out from my place without thinking and once again, Cartman grabs my arm._

"_I know what you're thinking, but don't. It's too soon. Trust me." He says seriously._

_I swallow hard and glance back at Kyle. He's right, if I want to fix things, stepping out of nowhere and surprising Kyle is probably not the best idea. Most likely it would make things awkward. And plus, I don't have the balls to face him yet. I didn't come prepared to have an unexpected meeting with Kyle anyways. _

_Wendy finally emerges from the bookstore with a few bags in her hands. Kyle looks up from his ipod and forces on a smile that I'm surprise that Wendy doesn't even realize it's fakeness. Damn it, Kyle! I know that look. After all these years you still try to hide your misery with that obvious fake grin. He always did that whenever he didn't want me to know about his unhappiness and I'm so used to that look that I can recognize it a mile away. You're unhappy, Kyle, and I'm going to do something about it. Maybe I can't right now, but please wait for me. I'll be back to do something about it. _

_I take a deep breath as I watch them walk off. It's time to end this, Kyle's not going to suffer anymore._

"_I'm staying, Cartman." I say and he loosens his grip on my arm. "After I finish school. I'm coming back to South Park. I...no, Kyle needs me." I look up at him and he smiles smugly._

"_I guess I don't have to force you to fulfill my end of the deal after all." _

"_What do you mean? You're saying that if you helped me, I had to promise to come back to South Park? Damn Cartman, I had no idea you wanted me back..." I reply as I'm taken back the fact that my absence affected Cartman out of all people._

"_Don't get the wrong idea, Stan." He scoffs as he leans against the wall of the building that we're standing behind. "Like I said, we both have a common goal."_

"_Common goal?"_

"_Come on, don't hide it. You can back for your boyfriend." _

_My face turns a bit red. "H-he's not my boyfriend." _

"_Okay, your soon-to-be-boyfriend then." He snorts._

"_Dude, I still don't understand your motive for wanting me back. If it's not because of me and not some kind of scheme to fuck over Kyle, then what is it?"_

_Cartman looks away for a second and hesitates. Just when I was convinced that he was going to ignore me like he did all the other times, he looks at me again to answer. "Let's just say she deserves better than that fucking Jew."_

"_Cartman...you..."_

"_Come on, let's head back. You don't want to stay out here too long, right?" he starts walking ahead of me. _

_I nod and follow behind him. Today was a strange day indeed. Not only did I realize my new purpose in coming back to South Park, but I also found something unexpected from Cartman. Something that I hope will work out for him as well..._

"You've been quiet."

Kenny's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I take a quick glance at him in the passenger seat next to me. As it turns out, he and his wife ended up drinking so much during the game that I had to offer to drive them home in his car. Even though Kenny isn't acting too drunk, I couldn't let him get behind the wheels.

"I can't talk while driving."

"Really? That's funny." He chuckles and rests his head on the window. "Man, I feel so exhausted."

"You shouldn't have drank so much." I reply.

"I didn't drink THAT much, right sweetie?" he calls out to his sleeping wife at the back.

"Fine. Ignore me then!" he slurs and I stifle a laugh.

Tonight was pretty fun despite the fight with Wendy. I admit that it was partly my fault too, but it still would've been better off if it hadn't happen at all. But at least tonight reassured me that Wendy isn't exactly someone that I would get along with anymore, so I shouldn't even force myself to try. Maybe I'll attempt to keep up a civilized front for Kyle's sake, but if we are left alone anywhere, I'm afraid my ugly side will come out again.

"I guess I owe ya fifty bucks." Kenny mumbles and then laughs.

"Don't worry about it." I reply. As it turns out our team ended up winning anyways. I don't know how it happened, but it was a miracle. When Kenny first asked me to bet on the game, I was about to blow a gasket. It had always and still is my policy that betting on sports is unethical for the players. Sports are meant to be watched in support for the team you're routing for, not for some dirty bet that makes someone who normally hates sports suddenly interested in them. And that's exactly the problem with betting on games. It's because once there's a bet on something, you can't distinguish a true fan from a dirty gambler who needs the money to get by until he bets away that money again. It just takes away the true spirit in watching a dame. Well, that WAS my policy until Kenny decided to change the wager to something different when we were heading back from the snack venders. Something more... "interesting," in his words. It was so interesting that I couldn't resist even if it meant going against all my morals as a sports fan.

"_If our team wins then you and Kyle will work out, but if we lose, then the odds are against you."_ Was what he said after I had declined his offer to gamble. For some reason I saw this game as some kind of sign that was connected to Kyle and mine's relationship. There was no rational explanation to it, and Kenny could have just been tempting me to get a few bucks off of me, but I was so drawn to his offer that I couldn't resist. And thank God we ended up winning, otherwise I would've been freaking out over this whole mess since I took it so seriously.

"You're probably happy that we won." He grins at me.

"Yeah, 'cause I don't want to owe you money."

"I didn't mean THAT."

"I know."

We both laugh. Another thing that I'm happy about is that the bet made me feel less bad about kissing Kyle. I can't say that I don't know what came over me because I did. I knew how I was feeling and I acted on it. I wanted to kiss him but I couldn't tell if he wanted the same thing as I with that look of uncertainty that was written all over his face. All I saw was plain confusion and I knew right then and there that it wasn't the right time. That bell that interrupted us was also another miracle of the night. Who knows what horrible direction our relationship would have ended up if we did kiss. But still, even though the bet lightened the whole kiss with Kyle a bit, I can't say that I'm not worried about how we're going to face each other at school. I'm fine with it, but what does Kyle think? We were so close, but I guess it wasn't meant to happen yet. Or ever.

I sigh at the depressing thought. That's right, him and Wendy are still together. Almost forgot about that.

Almost.

Even more depressing, was the way Kyle practically ran back to the bleachers after our almost-kiss happened. I was hoping that we would both laugh it off as something that happened in the heat of the moment, but instead, Kyle became all flustered and looked like he just couldn't wait to get out of there.

I pull into the driveway of our building and turn off the engine as soon as I stop. I haven't driven in a while, so it was kind of weird to be driving again, especially Kenny's car.

"Do you need help getting out of the car? Or are you okay?" I ask to make sure he doesn't stumble out and crack his head open on the pavement.

"I'm fine." He groans a bit and seems to be somewhat back to his normal state. "I'm glad I didn't drink TOO much." He chuckles.

"It was still a lot." I reply and help his sleeping wife out of the car. "You gonna give me a hand or what?" I grin.

Kenny lifts his wife bridle style from my arms. "Geez, you're weak. Couldn't even carry my wife." He shakes his head disapprovingly and walks ahead of me.

"I'm not weak." I slam the car doors shut and lock them. "Besides, wouldn't it be inappropriate to carry YOUR wife like that?" I follow right behind them to make sure Kenny doesn't decide to lose his balance and drop them both.

"Of course, I would've killed you if you did."

I roll my eyes. "Just be careful."

After we reached Kenny's apartment, I helped him open the door and even made sure that his wife wasn't woken up. The best thing to do is to not wake a drunk when they're sleeping. It's better to let them sleep it off anyways. I guess drinking a lot in high school did teach me something important. I remember when Kenny didn't let me sleep my drunken state off because he thought it would be a fun idea to bug me while I was trying to doze off, and boy was that fun in the morning that I had to get up for school. Kyle even had to take me home because I couldn't concentrate in class. Kenny and I kick off our shoes and tuck his wife into bed as soon as we reach their room.

"Well, I should get going. You guys should rest. And I have a lot of paper work to sort out." I place Kenny's key on the kitchen table after we both emerge from their room. I'll just see myself out since Kenny is taking a short break on the couch at the moment.

"Sure, sure." He waves me off. "Stop by anytime if you're not busy. You don't live THAT far."

I chuckle and step into my sneakers. "Will do. And you guys too. Come down anytime." I smile and pull open the door. Just when I was about to leave, I turn back around. "Oh, and thanks Kenny. Thanks for giving me hope."

Kenny looks up from his position and stares at me, puzzled. "For what?"

"The bet. You cheered me up a bit. So, thanks." I grin and Kenny's face softens.

"No problem, bro." He replies and sits up from his spot.

I smile again and proceed to leave.

"Wait!" comes Kenny's voice and I stop again. "Just..." he begins and I look on in anticipation. "This may be the alcohol talking, or maybe not, maybe it's really me...but whatever!" he shakes his head. "It's Wendy..." he continues.

"What about her?" I go over and sit down next to Kenny since he suddenly looks a bit troubled.

"I...I fucking hate that bitch..." he forces a laugh and I raise my eyebrow with confusion. I've always known that Kenny and her have never really talked much, even when we went to the same school together, but I didn't know they hated each other. Unless it's something recent. Or maybe Kenny's still drunk.

"Why?" I ask and Kenny's head shoots up to stare at me as if he has said something that he shouldn't have.

"Nevermind that." He groans after realizing that what little alcohol that's left in his body must have caused him to say that. And I speak from experience. Other than that, I don't think I should press him on for details since he doesn't look like he wants to talk about it at the moment. I trust Kenny to come out and tell me when he wants to, and whatever secret he's hiding I hope I can help. "Kyle and Wendy are so...wrong for each other." He finally continues. "And I know Kyle's really unhappy."

I nod. Boy, do I know that. I still can't forget that look he had on when I snuck back into South Park a year ago. That IS the reason why I'm back in the first place.

"I'm just trying to look out for the guy. Ever since you left, him and I have just kinda stuck by each other like glue. And well...I just don't want one of my buddies to be sad his whole life." He smiles.

"I know what you mean., Ken. And don't worry about it." I smile and he looks relieved.

"Good. 'Cause I was thinking of coming down there to drag you back myself." He chuckles.

As I turn to leave again, I can't help but laugh at the irony that it wasn't any of my friends that was responsible for my return, but an enemy. Well, maybe not an 'enemy,' but Cartman. And who would have thought that it was he out of all people who made me see the consequence of my error in running away, even if it was through his personal gain. But still, it allowed reality to finally slap my face and tell me that I just can't run away forever. And even if I try, I would regret it because I would always think back to what I could have had with Kyle. It would render the whole idea of moving on pointless, because by regretting, I would still be living in the past. I would still be thinking of...Kyle.

"Good night, Ken." I call back and he says the same.

It wasn't such a bad night after all.


	17. The N Word

Chapter 17

The "N" Word

**Kyle**

We almost kissed.

We almost kissed and I don't even know how to process the whole situation. I don't even know how to deal with it at the moment because it just felt so surreal at the time. Even though I knew it wasn't something that I should be doing with Stan, I didn't do anything to stop it. Well, it got stopped anyways, but the whole point is that it wasn't me who stopped it. And every day since that incident I've been asking myself why I hadn't just back away from Stan's advance on my own or that I could have flat out told him right then and there that that's not something he should be doing with me because I'm with Wendy.

It's been a week since then and we've been acting somewhat normal with each other. We go to school, come home from school, and then repeat the same procedure every day over and over again. In other words, "normal" is the best way I can describe everything even though things should be far from it. Not only that, but the fact that Stan hasn't mentioned anything about the kiss is what's bothering me. In fact it's been putting me in a bad mood everyday because I don't know how to approach the subject with him. '_Was it just the heat of the moment after all?' _is what keeps flowing through my mind. I know I shouldn't even consider something like that since Stan and I are only friends, but still, I can't help but contemplate this, especially when I'm WITH Stan during the day.

Normal.

Everything is normal, and for once I hate it when I should instead be embracing it and be thankful that there are worse things that could happen in life, that what little I have with Stan right now could come crashing down again if I'm not careful, that Stan is the only thing that's keeping me from seeing life as half-empty.

"BROFLOVSKI!"

I jump and whip my head around. "What? What is it now?" I ask the approaching Mrs. Johnson but only to feel her hand shove me aside, making me almost drop the poster I was putting up as a final reminder to get prom tickets for tomorrow.

"Not you!" She grumbles and continues walking towards Stan who is fixing some of the deco that have fallen down from the walls.

Figures.

She knows that his name is Stan Marsh and yet she continues to call him Mr. Broflovski. Not that I care all that much or anything, it's just I don't want my students getting the wrong idea about us. Although whatever they have in mind about our lives already can't get any worse, it doesn't seem all that bad now that I think about it. Well, it's not bad if I disregard all the sexual innuendoes coming from their comments about us. I scoff to myself, what am I thinking? That bitch of a principal is just doing it to bug me anyways so I shouldn't care.

She pats Stan on the shoulder and he gives her the "Oh, so you were calling out to me after all" look. He nods a couple of times to whatever she's talking about and looks over at me. I quickly turn away to busy myself with putting up the poster as I realize that I have been staring at them right from the start.

After a few moments, Stan approaches me as soon as he finishes up with the deco. And of course, he's normal, as usual.

"Hey." He greets.

"O-oh hey, dude." I reluctantly face him and try to sound as normal as possible even though normal has been impossible for me this whole week.

"Looks like I'll be chaperoning the dance with you tomorrow." He says and pick up a poster in the pile below me. "Jesus, what a waste of paper." He grunts while examining the number of identical posters consisting of purple and black as a theme. Not bad colours for a formal.

"Oh, really?" I say with surprise.

"Yeah, it's a total waste. They're killing so many trees."

"No, that's not what I meant. I thought we already had enough staff to chaperone. I mean, Mrs. Johnson already decided that before you came here."

Stan puts the poster up on the wall across from where I am. "One of the teachers got the flu." He replies simply. "Holy crap, why do we even need so many posters so close together? I'm pretty sure you don't need a bazillion in your face to remind you that there's a prom going on. If someone really doesn't want to go then why force them? As if they'll give in just because of the excessive advertisement! A total waste of trees." he continues to rant and I give up trying to have a conversation with him since he seems a bit preoccupied with something else at the moment anyways.

"Well, I hope Mrs. Johnson didn't give you too much crap about it. She tends to force people to do things without caring what they think. At least half the teachers here don't even want to chaperone. With the exception of me of course." I half brag to myself, not expecting him to answer back.

"That's just your excuse to keep an eye on Ike." He turns around and grins. "Am I right?"

I place my hands on my hips and rest my sore muscles from spending the whole morning putting up posters. "You could say that." I smile back.

"Ah, I see. But why in this school? Doesn't Ike's high school have a prom for all the graduates?" Stan leans against the wall behind him.

"They do. But this school is a higher class than most back in South Park, so he doesn't mind paying an extra couple of bucks to surprise his girlfriend." I laugh.

"Who's his girlfriend?"

I stifle a laugh. "You'll never guess."

"Okay, I give up. Who?" he presses on.

"You suck!" I laugh at him, and for a moment I almost forget the awkwardness from the basketball game. These are the instances of "normal" that I embrace and hate whenever I run into Stan at school. Even though they leave the crap that happened at the basketball game unresolved, it's nice to forget about my worries for a while, almost like a break from life. It's funny how I have a love and hate relationship with normalcy. But that beats the full out hate relationship I have with drama.

I can deal with drama later.

"You know Craig's little sister, Ruby? Well they were in a lot of the same classes in high school." I snicker at Stan's face.

Stan bursts out laughing. "Holy crap! Really? Wow. How did Craig take it?"

I pick up the rest of the posters on the floor. "Let's just say he flipped me the bird more often than usual. Oh yeah, and Ike came home crying almost every other day and refused to tell me what was wrong."

"Craig didn't touch him, did he?" Stan suddenly asks with worry.

"No way." I chuckle. "He would never. I know that he probably had just threatened him a few times but that was it. Nothing more."

"Oh good. I guess." He laughs along as we make our way back to drop off the extra posters.

"Oh, and Mrs. Johnson didn't ask me to do it. I volunteered." Stan suddenly brings up as I drop the posters on the counter in the office.

"Why?" I raise an eyebrow as I face him. "You can have the day off if you don't do it. It's just more trouble for you."

"I guess." He scratches the back of his head bashfully. "But really, I enjoyed hanging out with you at the game and so I thought..." he trails off and leaves me standing there blushing so much that it would be impossible to hide unless I shoved my head into that waste basket next to the counter. He notices my reddening face and turns away to avoid any awkwardness.

"Oh...I-I'm glad..." I try to feign a chuckle but it came out sounding more like a choked chicken and Stan snorts with amusement, ruining the moment.

"Yeah! I guess it would be nice to hang out without the others around for once." I finally clear my throat.

"Y-yeah. That's...what I meant." He sighs.

"Speaking of Craig," I quickly change the subject. "Kenny mentioned that he and some of the guys are coming to Denver to visit him and his wife today. I thought maybe I could stop by after school. You want to join us?"

Stan suddenly perks up and then smiles. "You mean it?" he beams.

"Of course. I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't." I chuckle as we start to leave the office.

"I can't wait." Stan excitedly says.

"Besides, you haven't seen Craig and them in forever, right?"

Stan suddenly looks glum and confuses me. "R-right. I haven't seen them at all." He mutters with uncertainty. I shrug and take his odd behaviour as nervousness to seeing old friends again. Unless he mainly wants to hang out with me only, but I'm just getting my hopes up.

"I think they're planning to play a few rounds of basketball before going to Kenny's to hang for the night." I add. Maybe that'll ease his nerves a bit, knowing that the hangout won't consist of everybody bombarding him with questions.

"Sounds awesome. Are you going to be there for the night?" he asks and I shake my head.

"I need to mark a bunch of essays for tomorrow. There's no way I can get things done if I stay out for the night with you guys. But you have the other guys to keep you company."

He looks disappointed again as his shoulders slouch slightly while we make our way down the hall. "Yeah, whoopee." He mutters with disinterest and leaves me more baffled. If he wants me there for moral support in case Craig and them bug him with nosy questions then I guess I could try to stay for the night. But then again, Stan has Kenny for that so there's not too much to worry about it.

Unless...

If what I am thinking is correct then I am going to be extremely happy for the whole day because to me, it sounds more like Stan doesn't want me to be absent from the little get together later on. As if he wants to just be around me...I wish I could just out right ask him, but it might sound a little awkward if I just said it so blatantly. I just hate not knowing what he thinks.

Maybe I'm being too optimistic for my own good. I really should stop doing that.

"Hey, want to grab some lunch?" I ask instead since it's something that we can both agree on.

"Sure." He smiles and we head to the cafeteria.

**x**

"So then she tells me to screw off as soon she answers the phone. Can you believe it?" Stan jabs his fork into his second helping of chicken noodles that he ordered from the cafeteria. He must be imagining that piece of chicken as Shelly since that's what he's complaining about at the moment.

"And that's why I don't want to go back home." He takes another bite. "Unbelievable."

"Yeah, that sounds brutal." I say as I take a sip of tea. "I guess you two haven't made up." I place my drink down and twirl my fork around the odd-tasting spaghetti that I ordered. Today was definitely the worse day to try something new from the cafeteria.

"I wasn't surprised though. I kind of figured that that would be the first thing she would say to me after five years. She's just a bitch."

I chuckle at his expression. I'm not sure if the whole story is just plain funny because it's just Stan and Shelly or because I'm happy that while complaining about his sister, Stan looks a lot like the way he did back then. The way he whined and scrunched his face up was so much like the old Stan. So, I'm not sure if that's the reason why I can't stop myself from grinning like an idiot.

"I can relate." I say.

"No you can't. You've been grinning the entire time!"

"But I'm still sharing your pain!" I say in between laughs.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He rolls his eyes at me. "Anyways, enough about the she-devil. What are we supposed to do at the dance anyways?"

I wipe my mouth with a napkin and shrug. "Basically nothing. Just stand there and pretend you're keeping watch."

"Hm. That sounds about right." He responds and I glance at him. He's taking another bite of that disgusting looking dish and looking so casual, looking so...normal.

Normal.

I hate this. For fuck sakes we almost kissed and we're acting like nothing happened the other night. The only thing that Stan mentioned was Wendy when he asked me if she was alright or not. And after I told him that she was fine for the most part, he didn't say anything else after that.

Nothing.

Normal.

The two N's that I hate so much right now that I could reach into the alphabet and banish that letter's existence from the English language for good.

He acted so normal that he didn't even look nervous or act any different in front of me the whole week. For crying out loud, he didn't even approach me to talk about forgetting about it or asking if it should be something we both should concern ourselves with. Hell, there wasn't even an "Oh sorry Kyle, I was just caught up in the moment, so let's forget about it" speech from him. Right now, I don't even care what he says, I just want to see him react so I can know whether or not that almost-kiss made some kind of imprint on him. Just something, for the love of God.

"You're not bringing Wendy, are you?" he asks with his attention on his crumpled up napkin in front of us.

"No, why would I?" I respond and Stan dismisses the question with a quiet "Just wondering." Who am I kidding, the relief in his voice gives away how much he doesn't want to see Wendy again. I don't care if Stan said that what happened at the was all water under the bridge and how he will definitely get along with Wendy the next time they saw each other, he doesn't need to pretend. That's not the guy who was my best friend. Stan never pretends...nor does he forgive easily. So he can stop pretending and Wendy is just going to have to deal with it. Plus, what bugs me more is that what happened between him and Wendy seems to be a bigger deal to him than the "kiss."

I stand up from my seat in his office and chuck my garbage into the trash next to the door. "I'll catch you after school." I turn to open the door and smile back at him. I'm suddenly sadden that I have to end my time with Stan temporarily to get back to my students. Even worse, I'll end another day with my questions unanswered again.

"Yep." He replies and then waves me off with a smug smile.

I quickly exit his office and shut the door just as fast, hoping to Abraham that he did not see my heavily flushed face. The sooner I'm out of his sight, the sooner I can stop myself from wondering why I am blushing in the first place. And also the sooner I can stop these questions in my mind.

**x**

The November air breezes through my exposed skin as we walk through the school parking lot to meet Kenny and the other in the basketball court just around the back of the school. It may not be snowing yet, but the air is cold as hell in Denver, and South Park is no different. If anything, it's worse actually, with the way the freak whether alternates between cold and even colder on certain days in the year. I just hope playing a bit of basketball will warm me up enough to stop shivering like my life depended on it.

"Is your jacket not warm enough?" Stan asks as he paces next to me. He doesn't look too cold.

"I'm fine. The air is just creeping down my neck."

"So you're not okay. You can still catch a cold like that you know." He yanks on part of his scarf.

"What are you doing?" I ask even though I know what he has in mind.

"My dorm neighbour bought this for me back in N.Y.U. It's freakishly long for a scarf but it's pretty warm." He drapes half of it over to me while pulling me close to him so both of us can be warmly wrapped in the warm bundle.

My face flushes again for the millionth time since Stan came back. "Thanks..." I mumble into the fabric and sound almost as inaudible as Kenny when he used to wear that parka. I'm in no position to feel embarrassed anyways since I don't really want to go back to freezing to death. Besides, if I fidget and end up falling, Stan will be pulled down with me.

"You're welcome." He replies as though what he did wasn't much of a big deal to both of us. Even if it is a big deal to me. A real big deal.

I can sense the tension from Stan since he still has his arm around me and with the way it tightened not long after my gratitude towards him.

"Stan...?"

He looks at me questionably and then quickly pulls his arm away from my waist while still maintaining the close distance between us.

"Sorry." He mumbles and pulls his half of the scarf higher up to his face to hide the flush that's travelling to his ears. I can understand him being embarrassed from accidentally doing that to a male friend, but why is he flushing so much? It's not like I'm going to chew him out about it later on.

"Guys!" Kenny waves over to us as we approach a distinguishable distance from them but still somewhat far away. Craig is there too, with Token, Tweek and...Oh shit! I can't let them us like this! They'll never let it down. Those guys can be such assholes.

I quicken my pace to get in front of Stan to avoid looking so intimate with him. We're still far right now so they can't tell how close we are, so I better act quick. I pick up my speed and start jogging towards the direction Kenny is in.

"K-kyle!" Stan calls from behind but I ignore him and tell him to hurry up instead.

"No, Kyle if you keep doing that we'll-."

Too late.

Whatever warning Stan was trying to give me to not run ahead while he was still sharing the same scarf as me was already too late as he trips over his feet and falls forward and knocks me down in the process. A domino effect is the best way to put it. All I feel is a scorching sting running through my face.

"JESUS CHRIST!" is all I here from Kenny who's laughing his fucking head off right now as Stan and I lie there in pain. I honestly don't know what hurts more, my face or my pride.

Maybe both.

**x**

"Alright, you assholes are going down!" Kenny winks at me and eyes Stan and the other two on the opposing team deviously. "Losers have to streak at the next basketball game we go to!"

I'm still in pain and I rub the front of my face that surprisingly didn't get smeared on the pavement with an impact like that. I hope Stan isn't still hurting.

"Then I guess sucks ass for you guys then." Stan bounces the basketball a few times in front of himself to prepare his start since they won a free turn with our coin flip earlier. I'm beginning to get a little worried after realizing that Stan, Craig and Token are all on the same team. I'm pretty good in basketball myself, but all we have is Kenny, me and...his wife. Boy don't we make an awesome team. Even though Tweek decided to sit this one out, I doubt we would even be any better if we included him on our team anyways. On the other hand, Stan streaking would be pretty hilarious.

"Ha! And if you guys lose, YOU," Craig points particularly at me and eyes me. "tell your little brat of a brother to stay away from Ruby."

"Fat chance." I smirk and Craig flips me the bird.

"Okay! Let's get this started then!" Stan practically speeds by me with the ball and I almost lose my balance. He's still so damn fast.

"Kyle, block him!" Kenny cries out as he's trying to keep Craig from getting over to Stan to help him.

I make a mad dash over to Stan and smack the ball out of his grip to his disappointment. Then I grab the ball and head for the opposite basket as he curses under his breath as he tries to catch up to me. I dribble the ball around Craig and am really close to the other basket until I feel a swift swoop under me, leaving me air dribbling a non-existent basketball.

"Damn it, Stan!" I grumble and push past Kenny to get to him again.

"Yeah, kick his ass, Kyle!" Kenny cheers as he shoves Craig in the face by accident from paying too much attention to me instead of the direction his hand was thrusting.

Right when Stan jumps up to score in the basket, I make a tackle-jump forward without thinking, shoving us both painfully on the ground. Again. Despite the pain that I am in, I grab the ball that's rolling away from Stan and prepare myself to stand back up and dribble it down the other side of the court.

"NOT SO FAST!" Stan grabs my waist and pulls me back down.

"Damn it! Let go!" I struggle forward and stretch my arms out, making a failing attempt at pulling myself out of his grasp. "Goddamn it! Let go!"

Stan pulls himself forward and practically has me pinned down with his chest. With the way he's pressing against me, his whole weight is on me and there's no way I can get him off now.

"No way." He smirks as he pants above me. "I'm not streaking anywhere so you can forget it."

I groan at his grip on my arms. I don't remember Stan being this strong. It might be the position we're in, but I'm finding it hard to break his hold on me. His friggin' iron grip and heavy build is weighing too much on me. Somehow, I finally manage to break one of my arms away from him after struggling for so long. But he immediately grabs my sides and start tickling me. After all these years, he still hasn't forgotten that I'm the most ticklish on my sides.

"S-stan! S-stop it! Oh god!" I laugh painfully as my stomach starts to contract from the lack of oxygen in my lungs from laughing so much. That and because Stan is practically crushing me.

"Yeah, it's not easy to get away from me now, is it?" he smirks and continues tickling me and I also continue laughing without breathing.

"STAN PLEASE STOP!" I beg seriously, but all seriousness in my voice is drown out by my laughter.

"Then beg me to stop!" Stan laughs maniacally as he continues to attack me with his fingers.

"Dude, what the FUCK are you guys doing?" comes Craig's voice from above.

Stan finally stops and looks up along with me, finding Craig and the others staring at us like we've killed someone in front of them or something like that. Well, everyone except for Kenny since he is trying to contain his laughter with his gaze on the ground.

"Guys, seriously. We're playing basketball, not..." Craig looks at us up and down and frowns. "...whatever you guys are doing." He scrunches up his face.

Stan lifts himself off of me and straightens his clothes out. "We weren't..."

"Acting like fags?" Craig says and picks up the ball in front of me. I assume that the long silence is a cue that I should get up too, so I do and brush myself off. That is when I realize what he meant by "fags." I guess what Stan and I did wasn't exactly proper basketball court conduct, or whatever the hell one would call it. My face flushes up as Craig flashes me a hint of a smirk.

"So, were you guys having fun?" he asks slyly.

"Shut the fuck up, Craig." I glare at him and he just chuckles obnoxiously. "You know what? Screw this, I have papers to mark anyways. This game is over." I start to head to my car that's still parked in the school parking lot.

"Whatever, let's go hang at your place, Ken." Craig turns to Kenny and passes him the basketball.

"Hey Kyle, wait up." Stan calls from behind me and catches up.

"Craig's still a douche I see." He laughs lightly.

"Yeah, a BIG DOUCHE!" I yell the last part to make sure he heard and he flips me off as I turn around to catch a glimpse at him. His angry face says that he probably heard me quite clearly despite the distance.

"I'm sure he's just joking." Stan replies.

"Oh come on, since when is he ever joking?" I complain as each and every memory of Craig pisses me off more and more while I walk. From as far back as I can remember he never jokes when he's insulting you. If he says you're ugly, then it's likely that he actually thinks you're the ugliest piece of shit on Earth. He's just the type that takes something and throws it in your face to piss you off. Maybe that explains why nothing fazes him. Nothing except the fact that Ruby is dating my little brother. At least I can rub that in his face whenever I want to bug him. But then again, I don't exactly want Craig as an in-law. That thought is just...

"So you're saying that Craig wasn't joking about us being 'fags' with each other." Stan teases and I stop in my tracks.

"Sorry, did I say something weird?" He falters.

"N-no." I say. "No, not at all, Stan." I resume walking and even pick up my pace to walk slightly ahead to hide the burning sensation engulfing my face. I don't know what it is that Stan said that threw me into such a frenzy, but I know for sure what he said was MORE than just weird for me. I just don't know what that "more" aspect is. Right now, it's just a feeling that's making me react and if I didn't react to it, then it wouldn't have mattered at all. So, I know there is some kind of significance in what Stan said that I'm missing out on.

"You okay, Kyle?" Stan asks while I reach behind my pant pockets for my car keys.

"Oh. Uh...I'm fine." I force on a smile. "That Craig just really bugs me sometimes that's all." I chuckle awkwardly and can tell that Stan doesn't believe my bullshit.

I pull open my car door and slide into the driver seat. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah." He smiles. "See you then."

I close my car door and start the engine as soon as I snap on my seatbelt. I roll down my window and Stan stops as soon as he notices.

"Yeah?" he asks.

"What are you going to do now?" I question, not wanting to leave him just yet.

"I guess I'll catch up with the guys at Kenny's place. Like you said, I haven't seen them in a long time." He shoves his hands into his pockets to warm himself from the cold November weather.

"Okay, that sounds good. Need a ride?"

"Kyle, I'm quite capable of walking across the street to our building."

"Just asking." I grin before rolling my window up again.

"Oh." Stan turns around back to me again and I roll down my window for the second time. "What time are you going to be at the school dance? Us staff have to be there earlier, right?" he asks.

I think for a few seconds and stare at my steering wheel for the answer. That is a good question. "Maybe around five-ish?" I shrug.

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll be there around that time too then." He replies back.

"Cool." I say and roll up my window.

Again, when Stan starts to head back, I roll down my window for the third time. "Stan?"

"Yeah?" he turns around with joy, almost like a dog's first reaction when it's owner has come home from work after a long day.

"Um...I don't know." I chuckle as I grip my steering wheel. Really. I don't know. I have nothing to say and yet I called him back for...nothing. Again with the 'N' word.

"Me neither." He scratches his chin and looks away, probably referring to not knowing why he looked so overjoyed when I called back to him. I might be looking too much into this but it's almost as if neither of us wants the other to leave. Maybe he wants to be best friends again as much as I do, but then...

"You should get home. Those papers aren't going to mark themselves, right?" he approaches closer to my car and leans forward above my window.

I nod. I guess all good things must come to an end at some point. "You're right." I shift my gear and finally prepare to leave, deciding not stop myself again.

"See you, then." I say almost sadly.

"Yeah, have a nice night." He mumbles and steps backwards off the side of my car and starts walking off in the opposite direction. As I watch his disappearing back, I am reminded of the way we parted five years ago. But not of the hostile atmosphere where we just couldn't stand each other back then, it's more like the feeling that I don't want him to leave that's dominating here. A good feeling. THAT feeling from five years ago. It was the feeling of wanting to call him and beg him to come back when I found out he left without saying anything to Kenny and I. THAT is that feeling that I'm feeling now. Even though we'll see each other again tomorrow night, I want to roll down my window again and call him back. I want to shout "Hey Stan! I want to drive you over to your building even if it is just across the street!" But I guess it's too late for that since he's out of sight and probably inside the apartment building by now.

I rest my head on the steering wheel as I just remembered now that I forgot to call Wendy back when she texted me around after lunch. I ignored her call because I was too busy thinking about that "kiss," and thinking about Stan.

I am so fucking confused now.


	18. Love

**A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! This chapter should have been out ages ago, but like I said, I'm taking more time to edit them now. There may be some minor errors but maybe I'll fix them when I catch them.**

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Chapter 18

Love

**Stan**

"So are you going to admit defeat and streak at the next game we go to?" Kenny asks, breaking the silence since none of us knew what to say after the way I 'fagged' out with Kyle in front of the gang.

"We didn't even lose, you asshole." Craig flops down on the couch after roaming around the living room and scanning Kenny's gigantic shelf for a movie to watch and then deciding that none of the chick flicks was to his liking. Luckily the others decided to head back to South Park. I don't think I can handle trying to catch up with so many people all at once.

Craig rests his feet on Kenny's coffee table. "Besides, it was a draw because SOMEBODY decided to completely fag out with Kyle in public." He grins with particular attention at me and I flush.

"We were just screwing around..." I protest.

"Exactly." Craig replies and I roll my eyes while fingering the sleeve of my jacket. Way to greet a friend you haven't seen in ages, Craig. Not that we were the best of friends even back then.

In all honesty, I don't know what came over me. The whole thing with the scarf was different because I really was trying to keep Kyle warm because I know how weak his immune system is. That is, if his health is anything like it was when we were younger he probably would've gotten sick the next day. So as a nurse, I have an excuse for doing what I did. Just a nurse's instinct, that's all. But...it still doesn't excuse what I did to him on the court. I mean it probably would've been fine if we were little kids, but that was not just childish, it was very...inappropriate. Actually, I'm pretty sure attacking a twenty-three year old man is more than just inappropriate. Especially in public.

"Oh god, leave him alone, Craig." Kenny sighs and pulls off his jacket, throwing it on the coat hanger lazily. Craig grumbles an inaudible profanity in return.

"I'm just stating the obvious." He glares back at Kenny in that familiar way that I remember. "So Stan," he turns to me and I look up from my previous interest in the floor. "what are you doing now? What brings your mighty N.Y.U. ass back to Colorado?" he smirks.

I perk up at the sudden interest in my career instead of why I was 'fagging' out with Kyle. I guess I didn't have to change the subject after all. "I'm a nurse at Denver High. I was offered a job here." I reply. "And I-."

"Wait,wait. Whoa. Stop right there, Marsh." Craig puts out a hand and Kenny scoffs and heads to the kitchen, leaving me wondering if Craig's initial interest in my life was just some ploy to get Kenny off his back.

"A nurse?" he asks, proving my suspicions wrong.

I nod.

"Seriously? Stan Marsh the high school jock that all the girls wanted, is a nurse? Holy shit." He smiles.

"Well things change, right?" I look at him and he nods with content. More content than I'm used to seeing on the face of Craig Tucker

Yeah, things do change. In fact, some things change for the better and some...for the worse. Like Kyle suddenly hooking up with Wendy for some unexplainable reason. I know that change is indiscriminate and that they can befall anyone and can cause good people to suffer and bad people to rejoice that they've got away with whatever crime they committed, but the lack of sense that these changes make is what bothers me the most. In other words, the one thing that I cannot understand ever since seeing Kyle and Wendy together during my secret visit a year ago is why he decided to be with her when he's unhappy. Because even though Kyle and I are almost opposites, the one thing that we share is our unforgiving personalities. People have always said that that is a flaw that will be both of our downfalls, but I can't help but think that our unforgiving personalities are the aspects that draws needed speculation to his and Wendy's relationship; speculation that can make all the difference in the world.

"True. But that wasn't what I was talking about." He replies as he rests his chin on the hand that's propped on the arm of the couch.

"Then what?"

"I kept thinking you came back for Kyle."

I almost choke on my spit.

"Hey Stan, you think you could help me put away some of the groceries I picked up this morning?" Kenny's hollers from the kitchen. I never thought my saving grace could be the voice of Kenny McCormick.

Relieved, I get up and practically jump towards the kitchen, leaving Craig in the living room with Kenny's wife. "No problem." I say as I jog in. I hear a quiet scoff from Craig before leaving his side completely.

As soon as I enter the kitchen, Kenny tosses me a small jar of pasta sauce and tells me to put it in the pantry. "You owe me one. I was tempted to leave you out there with Craig Fucker." He adds.

I nod and put it in an already nicely organized cupboard. "There were no groceries are there?" I ask as I examine the nicely placed groceries in various parts of the kitchen.

"Nope. Already took care of them before hanging out with you guys. Beer?" he hands me one and opens his own. "My wife should keep him company for a while so you can hide out in here with me." He laughs and I plop in one of the seats next to the dinner table.

"Thanks." I smile and sip on my drink.

"That was a pretty fun game. Even if no one actually won." Kenny slides himself up on the counter, making himself comfortable next to the sink.

"Yeah, it was nice. We should do it again." I say feeling warm at the thought of hanging out with everyone like the old days again.

"I'm sure Kyle would just be thrilled about that, wouldn't he?" Kenny smirks before taking another swig at his beer. I blush instead.

"Yeah, I guess." I try to sound as uninterested as possible but that only provokes his question.

"Oh my god." He grins and slides off the counter to sit next to me. Well, more like entering my personal space with his close distance. "So what happened?" he probes.

"What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened, Kenny!" I take a deep breath to verbally fight off Kenny again but then remembered that 'nothing' wasn't a good thing at all. Not for me a least.

"Really...Nothing at all." I sigh feeling more disappointed than ever. That's right, from the time I've been back in Colorado, nothing has happened at all. And when something was close to happening, it didn't.

"Don't worry yourself over it, dude." Kenny takes another drink. "You just came back. That's all that matters." he smiles.

"Thanks." I reply without taking my eyes off of the label on my beer bottle.

"So...by nothing, you mean there was no..." Kenny puts down his drink and thrusts his fist back and forth in front of his mouth, obviously imitating an imaginary dick going in and out of there.

"NO!" I yell with a red face and he bursts out laughing while I try to contain myself so Craig doesn't decide to come in to check what the commotion is about. Leave it to Kenny to ruin a serious moment.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it." he grins.

I go quiet and merely sip my drink awkwardly. Even if something were to happen at the time, I don't think I would've allowed it. Kyle's still with Wendy and I wouldn't want to be labelled 'the guy that Kyle cheated on Wendy with' or even a 'home wrecker.' It's something that I wouldn't want on my conscience for the rest of my life. Scratch that, it's something that I DO NOT want on my conscience. Besides, if something had happened I don't know what it would have done to Kyle and mine's current relationship. That is, if you can even call a friendship that was developed in a week a relationship.

"But did you want something to happen?" Kenny asks seriously.

I take a drink and shake my head. "No."

Kenny cringes a bit. "You didn't? Why?"

I shrug. "He's with Wendy. You and I both know that."

"So?" he laughs. "Dude I know you didn't just come back for your job at the high school. So, seriously? You're fine with nothing happening between you two?" he presses.

"I...uh..."

"Stan. Then what the hell would be the point if you don't say or do anything?" he takes another swig. "So what, you're going to wait until Kyle actually marries Wendy to tell him everything?"

I chuckle cynically. "By the time he's married, he probably could care less about me."

Kenny smirks and hums quietly. "I doubt that." he says in a singsong voice. "You'd probably be on his mind even then because-."

I groan in frustration and interrupt Kenny. "Look, maybe I can't now. I should give it time, I don't want to scare off Kyle." I reason but Kenny only sighs with frustration as well.

"Remember what happened in high school?" he asks.

I raise my eyebrow. "A lot of things happened in high school, Kenny." It's true so many things happened when we were all in high school that I've probably forgotten some of it. There was the time when Craig snuck booze into a dance and got temporarily kicked out of school for a while, Cartman trying out for the football team and then getting expelled from the team when he tried to sabotage me, the captain, to get my position, and then there was...

"What happened between you and Kyle." he emphasizes as he reminds me. "Where you guys are right now, is the result of you two 'waiting' too long. Get it?"

I nod and sigh. "Yeah, I get it. But it's easier said than done, you know."

"Yeah, I understand but you're gonna have to eventually. And by eventually, I don't mean prolonging it for twenty something years. Shit, prolonging it for a year is even too long." he gets up and throws out his empty bottle. "Otherwise, you'll end up repeating history again." he adds and starts tying up the garbage bag to take out the trash. "You done with that?" he points at my empty bottle before getting one of those twisty thingies to tie up the bag.

"Here." I pick it up and hand it to him.

Kenny hauls the bag up and places it to the side after he threw my bottle in there as well. "Gotta help out with chores too." he laughs. "Keep that in mind in case you and Kyle decide to get married. Or are you two going to live common-law?"

I ignore his latter comment in case my cheeks decide to flush brighter than Rudolph's nose again. "You and your wife seem really happy together." I smile back to him.

Kenny sighs happily. "More than just happy. We complete each other." he moans almost as if he is ready to have an orgasm right here and now, almost sounding like some pre-pubescent girl in love.

I stifle a laugh under my breath. "Isn't that from Jerry Maguire?"

Kenny shakes himself out of his dream-like state. "Hey I was forced to watch that movie twice this week. The wife loves it." he says as he sits down on the counter again. "You know, you and Kyle could learn a thing or two from us." he points his hand at me. "You two should model after us because we're like the ideal couple that all movies show.

"Now that you mention it. You still haven't told me what you two have been up to since I left. I couldn't really tell much from the random texts you left me throughout the years." I sit myself down again to listen to whatever Kenny has to say about the past five years of his married life.

Kenny throws me a small bag of candies and takes a bag for himself. "So you DID get my texts. Why didn't you answer them?" he takes a Twizzler and points it at me. But I can tell he's anything but serious right now.

I rip open my bag of Gummy Bears. "Oh come on, you have to understand how hard it was for me to do just that. I practically broke all contact with you all." I say regretfully, afraid that that might have came out a bit harsh and also how I abandoned the best friends I've ever met.

"Or maybe you were afraid that you would be tempted to come running back into Kyle's life if you had any kind of contact with us?" he grins, obviously not at all angry about my absence. Damn him. He sure hasn't changed a bit. Damn sociopath.

"Not that that matters. You came back anyways." he widens his mouth to take a bite out of the Twizzler.

"So, about you and your wife?" I clear my throat to remind him how off topic we are.

"Oh right." he chews on his candy for a bit. "Well, since you left, we both decided to move here after college since it was bigger and cheaper."

I nod. "So you ended up going to college after all." he smile, relieved that Kenny did end up having a better future than I initially thought.

Kenny nods. "Yeah. It wouldn't have happened if my wife hadn't forced me to work my ass off. And I don't mean earning money for the tuition was the hard part. I went through hell to get my grades high enough to get into the community college."

"So that's why you kept blowing us off when we invited you to hang out sometimes." I reply as I recall the many instances that Kenny said he was busy when we all decided to hang before grad. And all this time I thought he was just ditching us for his jobs or his wife.

"Yeah, sorry." he laughs. "I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want Cartman bothering me."

I nod again, understanding full well what Cartman tends to do to others' happiness. Or just their slight chance at happiness.

"Anyways, so after college I got a job at the news station in Denver and the wife got a placement in the Denver daycare centre, so that's how we moved here. I'm one of the cameramen by the way." he winks.

"Wow. You mean you're one of the guys filming the reporters that I watch every morning?"

Kenny nods proudly. "Correction. I'm the head cameraman that gives directions to all the other cameramen that I work with. The pay's awesome too."

I lower my gaze. That's just amazing. To think, Kenny was able to pull himself out of his shithole life he had with the encouragement of his wife. And together, they're completely happy right now. I mean, I'm happy for Kenny and all, but I'm also extremely envious of him; so envious that he's so happy and has everything going for him. His relationship is working out great and he has straightened his life out too. But...

"I'm so jealous of you two." I look at Kenny and he looks surprised for almost a second. "I mean how do you do it?" I add.

Kenny looks at me with confusion. "What do you mean? We just-."

"I mean there's nothing to hide between you two. How were you two able to just be so blatant about your feelings?" I wonder out loud more to myself than to Kenny. It's not that I'm completely clueless of how a relationship generally works. It's just that it's easier said than done. I know Kenny's relationship wasn't the most easy thing to achieve, but the thing is is that I don't know HOW he was able to strive through all of that. Not everyone experiences the same circumstances in their relationships so it's a bit hard to understand how another person does it.

"It's called honesty." comes a nasally voice from the kitchen entrance.

Both Kenny and I turn towards the source of the voice. "Or something like that. At least that's what Ruby is always saying about her and that little brat's relationship." Craig replies as he stands next to me.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Tucker?" Kenny scoffs.

"You know the five pillars to having a healthy relationship that Ruby and Ike always go on about." he holds out five fingers. "Just the five basics that every relationship generally follows." he sticks his hand back into his pocket.

"There's such thing?" Kenny asks.

"Yeah, you know." he takes his hand back out and starts counting them off. "There's honesty, commitment, sacrifice, sex..." he names them off while his other hand grabs a warm drink from the counter.

"Since when were you such an expert at this sort of thing? The last time I checked you were still single." Kenny teases.

As predicted, Craig flips him off with the finger he was just counting with. "A person doesn't need to be in a relationship to know the basic things that a relationship thrives on. Besides, I already told you, those are my sister's words. Not mine."

"Alright, Dr. Phil. Whatever you say." Kenny smirks.

"You guys suck. Spending all that time talking about such mushy crap. I'm gonna go watch the game on T.V." he pulls himself off the counter and starts to leave.

"Oh, and Stan?" he calls out and I shift my gaze at him.

"Deal with your lovey- dovey shit with Kyle soon. Please? For all of our sake?" he turns around to head out the kitchen door.

"W-wait!" I stammer. "You never said what the last pillar was." I remind Craig before he completely forgets about it.

He turns back towards me and gives me an awkward look; a look that practically screams 'dumbass'.

"Love. Duh." he answers simply in that nasally dead-pan voice and exits the kitchen. I'm left there dumbfounded with only my tiny bag of Gummy Bears in my hands. Since when did advice coming from Craig Tucker make so much sense? That alone doesn't even make sense, but I guess I did miss out on a lot these past five years. I take out the last Gummy Bear and stare at its green colouring with only a bit of redness covering the top part of its head. It almost reminds me of...

Kenny grabs it from my fingers and throws it in his mouth and chews it agressively. "You snooze you lose, right?" he winks before following after Craig.

I think I get it now.


	19. The Lonely Teacher

**A/N: Happy New Years everybody! Here's a little present to you all. I warned you about the grammar errors and spelling mistakes but you all wanted it early, so here it is LMAO! Please enjoy.**

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Chapter 19

The Lonely Teacher

**Kyle**

"Ike, for the love of Abraham!" I try to fix his messed up tie but do so in vain because of his constant fidgeting. "Stop moving!" I growl and pull on his hair.

"Oh my god, Kyle. I'm so nervous." he stammers as he bites his nails, ignoring the pain that I caused him on his scalp. I'm not sure if he even felt that hard tug. But I ended up ripping some of his hair out, so if he didn't feel that then he must be scared out of his mind for his date with Ruby. Which is weird, since they're been on many dates before.

I slap his hands away from his mouth. "Stop that! You're going to make your fingers bleed!" I tug on his tie to finish up for him. "Do you think Ruby really wants to hold bloody fingers, you little shrimp?"

My God, if I hadn't come home from work early, Ike would've have ended up looking like a walking abomination with no time to fix himself up before his prom. The first thing I saw when I walked into our house was him with a crappy green clip-on bowtie that one of our aunts got him for his birthday and horrid hair that look like it had been styled and re-styled because he couldn't decide on a hairstyle. Not only that, but he ended up outgrowing his only pair of dress pants so they were goofily pulled above his ankles by his long legs and a suit that barely covered his wrists. Luckily, I had an old suit and dress pants that fit him just fine. The poor kid was in tears when we met eyes and I just couldn't let him leave the house looking like the nerdy goofball that he is. The whole superficial idea of a prom is to look good and be admired for not looking like the same person that everyone is so tired of seeing daily. Not laughed at for reflecting your inner nerd, as horrible as that sounds.

Ike sniffles a few times. For a genius, he can be so simple minded sometimes. "T-thank you, big brother." he whimpers as he raises his arm to wipe his nose with the sleeve of my suit.

I grab his arm and hand him a tissue instead. "Nuh uh." I shake my head and he leans his nose in, blowing whatever was in his nose into the tissue. I scrunch my face in disgust as he tosses the used tissue into the nearby waste bin.

I take his hand to calm him. "Ike, it'll be fine, okay? I know you want to make this the best night for the two of you, but you have to relax. You can't show up at the dance a total wreck." I advise even though I can't even follow my own words often times.

Ike takes a deep breath and starts to calm down a little. "Okay." he breathes out.

"So, can we go pick up Ruby now?" I ask with a smile.

He pats his hair down once more. "Okay." he replies again and we start to head out the front door.

**X**

"I'll be out here waiting, so don't take too long, okay?" I warn Ike so we don't end up being late for the prom so I won't get to spend a minute less goofing off with Stan.

"Alright." he exits the car and heads towards the Tuckers' residence.

I frown at the grim looking house that reminds me so much of Craig Fucker's sour personality when it comes to Ike and Ruby's relationship. He really doesn't come off as the caring big brother type so I don't know what's up his ass when it comes to it. It's like a taboo subject that we can't even mention in front of him while I'm there without him starting something with me. I guess that's one price that I have to pay for Ike's happiness.

I check my watch and decide that they're probably going to be at least ten minutes in there, so I take out my Ipod for the time being. I just hate sitting in silence for too long, especially in this eerily quiet street that the Tuckers reside on. Maybe that explains why Craig is so grim all the time. I switch on the Ipod and start to play the only song that's been on there since Stan downloaded it for me back in high school.

Wonderwall.

The only song that I ever listen to even after he left because it was our song; our song that we listened to on repeat when we sat in a comfortable silence, and the only song that makes me sad whenever I listen to it even if it has been five years since he walked out of my life. But even now that he's back, I'm still sad whenever I listen to the song because he's not sitting next to me while it plays and showing me how tight of a bond we have; he's not leaning lazily on my shoulder like we did back then and humming the tune of the song into my ear, and most of all, he's not there to tell me that I'm his wonderwall.

But despite all of that, this song is one of the things that still reminds me of a happier time with Stan and makes me feel that there might be a chance that I can still have the same connection with Stan as I did back then. So that's why I still play it on repeat even if it makes me sad as hell whenever I do so, and lonely because I'm remind of what was once there.

It's a bittersweet feeling.

I lean back on my seat and close my eyes while the song plays, but before I can fully relax, I hear the car door being pulled open and slamming shut. When no one's next to me, I check my rear-view to find Ike and Ruby in the backseats.

"That was quick." I chuckle and pull my headphones out of my ears.

"Really? I've been gone fifteen minutes." Ike replies and I check my watch to be sure. And what do you know, he's right. It seems whenever I'm trying to relive my memories with Stan with my favourite song there never seems to be enough time. I'm always cut short as soon as I merely start to relax and get lost on memory lane. But sometimes I can't help but think that that's a sign that as good as my memories with Stan were, the past is the past. And what matters is the present. What Stan and I could or couldn't have had in the past is gone now and that we should just accept what's in front of us instead of trying to get back what was left behind. As shitty as it sounds, we should just "deal with it" as Craig would put it. So, maybe these interruptions are necessary to knock me out of leaving a fantasy land from the past so I wouldn't turn into one of those people who are stuck in the past when living in the present. Either that, or I'm just overanalyzing again. Which I have been doing often since Stan came back.

"Alright, let's go you two." I say to them as I shift out of my parking gear to pull out of the spot we were in. "You look gorgeous tonight, Ruby." I smile at her from the mirror and she smiles back.

"She looks gorgeous every day." Ike corrects as he takes her hand in his own and the two cuddle.

Blegh.

**X**

"This way Milady." Ike exists the car first and takes Ruby's to guide her out.

Ruby blushes and pushes one of her loose curls behind her ear. "Why thank you, Sir Ike."

As cute as they are together, they are just the type of couple that radiates love and joy wherever they go. They give it off so much they it's sometimes hard to keep your lunch down after watching them for a while. I know I do sometimes, but I don't say anything. This is the first time I've seen Ike this happy and I'd like to keep it that way. Well, maybe they could tone it down with the Middle English talk when referring to each other in that lovey way, but I tune them out most of the time. And now the only thing to worry about is having Craig as an in-law if they do decide to tie the knot.

"WOW!" Ruby exclaims as we walk into the royal themed dance hall. Everything is just crystal this and diamond that decorated around the room with silky curtains draped over the huge-ass windows. God knows how the school was able to afford all of that. Maybe it had something to do with the cutbacks from a few months ago. I miss the good old crappy public schools that kids used to go to. They just seemed less snobby.

Ruby hugs Ike and kisses him. "Thank you so much for taking me here, Ike." she smiles happily and holds his hands. Ike simply blushes and nods giddily with a dopey smile and all I can do is smile back at the two of them. It's kind of funny if you think about it. They've been together for this long and Ike still acts like they've only been with each for a few weeks. And I'm pretty sure they've barely made it past first base because Ike would have come running to me freaking out if sex was involved one way or another. At least that's another thing I don't have to worry about for a while.

"Well, what are you two waiting for?" I pat them both on the back to break them out of the daze that the pretty decorations have placed them under. "Go have fun!" I shove them to the dance floor where all of the other students are.

"See you after the dance, big bother!" Ike waves as they both merge in with the other kids.

I walk around the dance room to make myself look busy so Mrs. Johnson doesn't come over and bitch at me for being unproductive like the many times that she has since I started here. I look around and realize that there really isn't anything to do other than look like the odd one who did not get ask out to the prom and is now wandering around trying not to make that fact too obvious. The only reason that I'm not laughed at is because everyone here knows that I'm one of the teachers chaperoning the dance. I don't even want to think about the potential social humiliation if I wasn't labelled a teacher at this school but rather a student. It's as if you're expected to not bring a date, and it's pretty much accepted as normal by the students as long as you're a teacher while you would be called a 'dork' or 'nerd' if you're a student. Not that a teacher would be allowed to bring anyone, but the idea just seems depressing.

The lonely teacher.

Although it does have a nice ring to it, that's the last thing that I want to be called. And that's why being here at the prom without Stan is so depressing. It's that sense of loneliness from five years ago that I experienced coming back to haunt me and reminding me that where we are now is the result of our fight at grad. And speaking of Stan, it's half past the time he should have been here.

I look around the dance don't see anything even resembling him. Well, doesn't this seem awfully familiar; me wandering around and looking for Stan on the day of a grad dance. Except this time, I'm starting to get worried as to why he's a no-show rather than wanting to punch his face in.

I take out my cell phone and start dialling his number. I wait a while and only get his voicemail.

Shit.

Maybe he's on his way over but for some reason, that doesn't seem to be the case for me. I have this bad feeling that I should check up on him just in case something happened. But then at the same time, I'm scared to find out that he might have ditched these plans for something better to do; I'm scared to find him somewhere else other than here or at home.

I glance around the dance to make sure none of the teachers will catch me leaving the dance briefly and think that I'm trying to ditch out on staff duties. Or worse yet, they might think that I only agreed to help out so I can get my brother into the dance and then leave without lending a hand.

After a few bumps and shoves by the crowd of people I manage to make it out of the school and start heading over to Stan's place, which isn't far at all so it makes his lateness all the more suspicious. As I get closer, I notice that the light on the first floor is still on and breathe a sigh of relief. So he is home after all. Maybe something came up at the last minute?

I quickly slip into the apartment building as soon as a couple of nicely dressed teenagers open the front door to leave. Must be going off to their own prom too. I practically dash down the hallway to Stan's room even if it is the first room on the first floor, and as soon as I get there, I raise my fist to knock on his door.

"Stan?" my hand makes contact with the door and it swings open on its own.

What the hell?

I push open the door a bit more and step in. "Stan?" I walk in further to find him nicely dressed but lying on the floor with his arms sprawled out and his face buried in the carpet.

"HOLY FUCK! STAN!" I run over to pick him up, fearing the worse but when I turn his face over I see that he is heavily flushed and feeling extremely warm on his forehead. I run my hand across his forehead and make a diagnosis that even an idiot without a history of medical school can make. "A fever." I mutter to myself.

He coughs a few times and opens his eyes. "Kyle?"

"Stan!" I smile, relieved that he's alive. "What happened?" I rest him on my thighs and wipe his sweaty forehead with my sleeve without a second thought.

He tries to sit up a bit but then groans. "Shit, I guess I caught something from one of the students I saw the other day." he says groggily. "I was all ready to leave for tonight...Shit... I guess it was more than just fatigue after all." he coughs dryly.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." I throw his arm around my shoulder to help him walk to his bedroom since I'm too weak to carry him bridal style.

"Thanks, Kyle." he coughs again.

"Dude, how long were you feeling like this?" I ask as we enter his room and I sit him down on his bed.

Stan undoes his tie and throws on the floor next to him. "I felt a little weird this morning but I thought I was just tired. And then before I knew it, I hit the floor right before I was about to leave." he sighs and lies down on the bed.

"Stan, you're going to wrinkle your suit if you don't take it off." I tug on his arm but he doesn't respond. "Come on, at least sit up and take it off."

Stan groans again but then finally sits up with his head resting in his hand. "My whole freaking body hurts."

I look at him with concern, debating whether or not the hospital would be an option right now. But the downfall it that the nearest clinic is the one half way across town. I brush my hand on his forehead trying to see if he received any bumps from that fall or if maybe that fall gave him a concussion or something.

"It's okay, Kyle. I'm fine."

"But you fell! What if you gave yourself a concussion or something worse?" I press on and continue to examine his head.

Stan chuckles weakly. "I said it was fine."

"But-!"

"I'm a nurse, Kyle."

I blushed with embarrassment. "O-of course. How could I have forgotten?" I laughed pathetically as a bad attempt to play off my idiocy.

"Are you sure you're not the one with the concussion?" he grins.

"Well, it's hard to think properly when someone you care about is in danger." I stop and look at Stan. "Or appears to be in danger."

Stan lowers his gaze and his now messed up hair covers the upper half of his face. "Thanks..." he barely whispers but I hear him anyways since it's not like there's a big crowd of people drowning out our voices in the room we're in.

I clear my throat. "So, about your suit..." I quickly change the subject.

"I can't move remember." he groans again.

"Please Stan, you should at least change into your pyjamas. You'll be more comfortable." I continue to push on, feeling like my mother. "Don't make me-."

Stan's head shoots up. "Make you _what_?" he asks suspiciously.

I fumble to get the words out of my mouth. "M-make me take them off for you." I swallow hard.

"Seriously?" Stan asks.

"Y-yeah, come on, raise your arms a bit" I lean closer and touch his arm to encourage him to move.

Stan sighs and then raises his two arms. I do my best to hide my blush and slip off his suit and then proceed to unbutton his dress shirt. His heavy breathing tickles my face as I lean closer so I wouldn't tug and pull too harshly at his clothes. I know I should concentrate on getting Stan into his pyjamas but I can't help feeling the suggestiveness of this situation. We're sitting here on the bed, Stan is breathing heavily while I fumble with his clothes; anybody would take this the wrong way if they walked in on us. Hell, I'm starting to take this the wrong way even though I'm fully aware that I'm just being a good friend and helping a sick friend into his sleeping clothes. Not...

"Kyle?" Stan whispers.

"Yeah?" I look up.

"You're breathing really hard."

I shake myself out of my daze and finish up unbuttoning his shirt. Get your mind out of the gutter, Kyle. This is neither the time nor the place to think about...THAT. And with someone who's not Wendy. Just concentrate! CONCENTRATE!

"Concentrate on what?" Stan asks, but this time his voice is covered in worry.

"S-sorry!" I quickly pull off his dress shirt and he hisses at his bare skin's sudden exposure to cool air. I should stop voicing my thoughts out loud. I think is this about the third time I've done this in front of Stan. At this rate, Stan would probably consider getting me checked into a psychiatric ward. Or worse, he might think I've become some kind of nut-job in the five years since he's been away.

After neatly hanging up his dress shirt along with his suit so they wouldn't get wrinkled, my eyes land on his pants. "Er..."

"Oh..." Stan looks down and blushes. "Look, I think I can manage from here."

I swallow loudly this time. "A-are you sure? Because I mean I could..."

"That's fine!" Stan cuts in awkwardly. "I should be fine."

I nod. "Then I'll just wait outside the room until you're finished, okay?" I point to the door.

Stan shakes his head. "No that's okay! Just..." he twirls his index finger around. "Just turn around."

I do as he says and try to busy myself with thoughts of the piles of unmarked assignments I need to tend to to clear my head of all thoughts relating back to Stan's...birthday suit and also so I wouldn't be reminded of how embarrassed I got when he joked about not wearing anything when he was on the phone with me a while back.

"Sorry for keeping you from the dance, Kyle." Stan apologizes.

I smile but he doesn't see me. "It's okay, it was pretty boring without anyone to talk to anyways."

"But still, I'm keeping you from your job. Won't you get in trouble?"

I scoff. "Oh please, Mrs. Johnson probably doesn't give a rat's ass whether we're there or not. Most of the time she yells just to make it look like she's doing her job."

I hear a snicker on the other end. "I was just scared that I might've ruined another prom for you again." he says as his voice drops.

"..." I don't say anything but instead reminisce about the past briefly and then wonder why Stan brought that up all of a sudden. I thought it was all water under the bridge, but I guess it really isn't because I've caught myself thinking about a lot since Stan's return as well. So I shouldn't be talking about what should be left in the past.

"Stan..." I turn around to tell him those exact words.

"Oh shit!" he covers his lower half with his already off boxers and my face lights up bright red despite my earlier efforts to prevent anything from embarrassing me.

"Oh God, Stan!" I turn back around. "I'm so sorry!"

"U-uh...it's fine..." I can hear him quickly pull on a pair of fresh boxers and rustle around a bit.

"I didn't know you weren't done yet." I reason so I wouldn't seem like a pervert trying to cope a look. But knowing Stan, he probably knew that from the beginning. I remember he always told me back in high school that I'm just not the lewd type and that I'm not the kind of person who would try anything under a false pretence. In other words, I'm not Kenny, according to Stan.

"Or did you?" he teases.

I turn around again but this time, he's fully dressed in his pyjamas and is getting into his covers. "I didn't!" I almost laugh as I walk over to him. He's face is still flush from the fever so I think I should keep an eye on him for a while.

I sit on the bed. "Want me to get you anything?"

Stan shakes his head. "I'm fine. I just really need to rest." he lies on his pillow and sighs, making me wish that I was at home and resting too. He looks up at me. "Don't you want to lie down too? You look tired."

Sharing the same bed as Stan? So much for calming myself down this evening. "Y-you're serious?" I chuckle nervously, hoping that Stan was joking but he only nods.

"Yeah. It'll be just like when we had our little sleepovers." he smiles weakly.

I guess that's true. Even when our parents warned us to sleep separately during our sleepovers, we always managed to slip into each other's bed in the middle of the night and then back into our respective spots at the crack of dawn. I'm just surprised that our parents didn't figure it out by our tiredness in the morning and that we could have spent the whole night goofing off in each other's beds. I don't say anything and slip into the covers next to him. I could use a small rest before going back to the prom.

"Knew you would give in." Stan laughs and smile widely too at the nostalgic feeling.

"I AM really tired." I laugh. "Too many late nights with assignments."

"Mmhm." Stan mumbles.

I turn my head so that I'm facing Stan so that I can keep an eye on his breathing. Watching the rhythmic way his chest rises and falls is relaxing, making my eyes feel heavier and heavier.

"Hey, Kyle?"

I open my eyes just enough to see Stan's profile quietly resting. "Yeah?"

Stan also opens his eyes and faces me and moves closer. "You want to go see a movie with me next week or whenever you're free?"

"Oh...er..." I mumble, not knowing what to say. Does he want to hang out as friends, or does he...

"Y-you don't have to if you don't want to." Stan quickly says and I counter just as quick.

"No! That's not it." I laugh nervously as my cheeks start to feel warm again. My hand instinctive moves to cover my face by I pull it back since that would probably make what I'm trying to hide too obvious.

"So, that's a yes then?" Stan pulls himself back up from the covers but is still sounding a bit unsure of himself for some reason. Maybe I gave off a less then approachable attitude that scared him a little when he asked.

"Yeah." I smile.

"Good." he sighs with relief.

"It's a date then." I joke.

Stan blushes and looks at me like I'm the craziest person in the world, and when I don't say anything he inches closer and sits up so that he's closely face-to-face with me.

"You shouldn't say things like that." he rubs his eyes sleepily. He must have taken strong medicine that causes drossiness because it looks like it's starting to take effect on him quite quickly. I should know, since I practically live on that stuff whenever I get sick. But why Stan took that kind of medicine when he planned to be out all night, I'll never know. Maybe he mistook it for a different kind, like I did that one time during an exam back in college.

"What do you mean?" my voice hitches as I mutter quietly.

"Because..." he coughs a few times. "Some people might take you seriously..." he trails off sleepily as he starts to doze off before me and begins to fall into my arms. Except he doesn't exactly fall into my arms as he would have if he was sitting further away from me. Instead, he falls against me with his front facing me since we are merely centimetres apart, and as our foreheads crash into one another...

...so do our lips.

* * *

1. Wonderwall is a song by Oasis.


	20. Toothpaste

Chapter 20

Toothpaste

**Stan**

_"You shouldn't say things like that, Kyle."_

"_W-What do you mean?"_

"_Because...some people might take you seriously..."_

I gasp as I suddenly snap my eyes open and quickly dart my gaze around the bright room. I must have left the light on. I squint my eyes at my alarm that has probably been going off for quite a while and breath heavily.

Five Thirty-two a.m.

So it's been going off for two minutes, which is weird because I usually wake up right when it starts ringing or sometimes even before. I slowly shift over to the clock and hit the snooze button. I fall back onto my bed and rub my eyes, still feeling a bit hazy. I guess I didn't really get better since my head is still pounding with my sinuses burning like a bunch of matches were lit off in my nose. I'm just glad it's the weekend because if it was a school day I probably would've had to drag my butt out of bed.

I cough a few times and groan. Stupid sore throat burns more than my sinuses. Even though I don't have school today, I still need to finish up some paper work for the office, so I better get my ass up or I won't get anything done for Monday and have some time to relax.

Life just isn't fair.

I glance out my window and stare back at the dark sky welcoming me into the morning. I doubt anyone would even be awake at this time. Especially on a weekend. Even when I had practice in the morning for high school it wasn't this early. Seven was the earliest.

I yawn lazily and stay in my bed. Maybe I'll get lie here for a few minutes. I may be awake but my body doesn't really want to move right now.

"Stan, you in there?" a voice coming from my front door alerts me along with light sounds of knocking. I groan to myself. Of course, stuff like this only happens to me.

"Stan?" the knocking continues much to my dismay and pounding migraine.

I pull my covers off and drag myself over to the door and open it without checking the peephole. Right now, I don't care if it's an axe murderer or aliens that I just opened the door for, I just want he knocking to stop.

I swing the door open harshly only to be greeted with a blonde in mid-knock.

"Kenny?" Scratch that, no one wakes up at this time except for Kenny... for some reason. "What the heck are you doing up so early?" I try to express my confusion but only to have it come out as an annoyed mumble.

"I have work in an hour." he invites himself in. "You look like shit. What's wrong with you?"

"Ugh." I grumble again. "I'm sick."

"Oh. Sorry to bother you then." he apologizes but makes no effort to leave me in peace.

I give a big sigh and sit myself on the couch before I pass out from my headache. "So, what's up, Ken?" Since he's already here I should at least find out the reason he came so early. The only time anyone knocks on my door at this time back in university is if an idiot set something on fire in the residence kitchen.

"I could ask you the same thing." he grins and sits next to me.

"What?" I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion even if it adds to my headache.

Kenny snickers a few times. "Oh, nothing." he smiles coyly. "I just want to know why Kyle was running out of your apartment looking all flustered last night?"

Kyle...?

Kyle! That's right! He came by to check up on me when I couldn't make it to the prom last night. We talked and he helped me into bed and then I passed out again...I think. And I'm pretty sure he must have went back to prom duties right after that.

Wait...flustered?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ken. Yeah, he did come by but I don't remember THAT happening."

"Well, it did." he crosses his legs and starts explaining. "I was taking the trash out front when I suddenly saw him burst out of your apartment. I went to say hi, but the asshole just ran past me with his face as red as a fucking tomato." he laughs hysterically. "But of course, what ran through my mind was the most scandalous situation that probably took place." he grins again and I give him the most pathetic look ever.

"You were just seeing things." I wave my hand to brush it off. I'm not in the mood for jokes right now.

"Oh yeah, I completely hallucinated something THAT big, Stan."

"I mean his face. You were probably just imagining the look he had."

"Like I said Stan, how could I have hallucinated something that big?"

I ignore Kenny and start to look around for something that would be a viable excuse to make him leave. Anything will do. Anything. The problem is, coming up with a lame but yet believable excuse that'll get him off my back. I could tell him to leave, but that would plain rude since he came up to check on me...well...more like check on what happened between Kyle and I.

"I need a nap." I complain into my hand and get up to make my way back to my room. It's not much of an excuse but it should shoo him away. There's no use in having a conversation that's making my headache even worse.

"You need anything?" he asks as he tries to help me up even if I'm fine on my own right now.

"I'm fine. I just need some rest."

Kenny nods and then lets go. "Alright then."

"Shouldn't you be off to work? You might be late if you stay to long." I suggest as I try to passively kick him out, but he shakes his head in return.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm just more concerned about you." he eyes me a bit. "How the heck did you get sick anyways?"

I sit back down on the couch after realizing Kenny isn't leaving any time soon. The last thing I want is to collapse on the floor again if I suddenly got dizzy. "One of the kids I saw last week was sick. I'm pretty sure I caught it from her. And plus, the late nights probably didn't help either." I sigh and lean against the couch and close my eyes. Just focusing on Kenny's face is tiring.

"So you had Kyle come by to take care of you?"

I stifle a laugh under my breath. "You wish." I start to rub my closed eyes a bit to relax them. "He came by to check on me because I wasn't at the dance."

Even with my eyes closed I can still tell Kenny smirked at that last part of my sentence. "Oh that's right. I almost forgot Ike had his prom yesterday. That little bastard...I wonder if he got lucky?" he says.

"Kenny..."

"Sorry, I was just screwin'."

I open my eyes again and just stare at the ugly ceiling my apartment. Such a dull grey colour. I should think about repainting it sometime. But then again, that colour represents my life right now so well that I don't think I want to get rid of it; so well that I don't think I want to paint it any other colour that might remind me back to harder times when any colour but grey represented the many things I went through with Kyle. Especially the painful things. Even happy colours would remind me of those painful times because our lives were so connected that happiness and sadness just got blurred at some point. And a reminder of one would trigger the other.

"It was a shame I couldn't attend..." I mumble and Kenny glances at me. I was hoping so hard that I could create happier memories with Kyle at the prom yesterday so that our memory of the painful prom from high school could be forgotten. Or at least minimized. But I know even that's impossible because no one ever just forgets tragic things in life. I wanted to make it up to Kyle so bad and I still couldn't do it. I wonder...how many times has Kyle been asked to chaperone at school proms? And if he did, was each time as painful as the experience from high school because they brought up awful memories from five year ago? Poor Kyle...having to live through all of that just from doing job.

"Are you sad you couldn't make up for what happened five years ago?" Kenny asks.

Read my mind again.

"It's funny isn't it, Kenny?" I chuckle sarcastically to myself.

"What is?" he asks even though I know full well that he probably knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"Even now...I still couldn't make it up to Kyle." I sit forward and rest my palms on my face.

"Stan..." he places a hand on my shoulder. "It's not a big deal. It was just a prom. I'm sure you guys will have plenty of chances to hang out. I mean you both had chaperone duties, you honestly think that principal would have let you guys have fun anyways?"

"That' not what I meant, Kenny!"

Kenny looks at me startled for a second and I immediately apologize. "I...mean that is what I meant, but whenever I think back to our graduation dance, I always think that Kyle must be reminded of it almost all the time because he works at a school. And...I don't think those memories make him too happy..."

Kenny nods a few times. "Whether he is reminded of it or not, it doesn't matter now because only time can tell if he'll get over it."

"Yeah..." I reply disappointed at the uncertainty in front of me.

"I mean you can give him the fucking world, but if he's not ready to get over it, it's just meaningless, Stan." Kenny smiles. "And that's why you can't rush and you can't take too long with these things either."

"Thanks..."

"And besides, I doubt it bothers him all that much anymore since he hasn't angst as much about it since you came back."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but don't him I told you." Kenny laughs and pats my back a few times. "How long did Kyle stay anyways? Because I saw him around midnight when I came down."

Midnight?

"Wait, he stayed till midnight?" I ask with disbelief.

"Yeah, it was definitely him. But like I said, he didn't even see me when he ran by so..."

That's the time when the dance ended. He stayed the entire time for me even if it meant that he could've gotten in big trouble if Mrs. Johnson found out that he ditched his staff duties? He came by around six...so that means he stayed here for six hours while I was passed out. Six hours with him alone in my place, and I just had to be sick at the time. Way to fucking go. we could've spent that time catching up or just...just spending time with each other for the hell of it!

I think that just blew my mind.

"Stan? Are you running a fever again?"

And if what Kenny said was true, then...what made his face look like...THAT? What the hell happened?

"Kenny?"

"Yeah?"

"You said his face looked weird when you saw him?"

Kenny bursts out laughing again. "Ok seriously, Stan. What the hell happened? Because with the way he looked it seemed as though you made out with him or something. Jesus Christ!" he laughs even more. "His face was almost as red as that hair of his!"

"Than what happened?" I repeat with a bit of fear in my voice.

"I dunno. I wasn't there." he shrugs while still laughing.

"I-I don't know what happened either..." I swallow hard. At least I don't think I know what happened. I barely even remember anything.

Kenny's laughter dies down. "Well whatever the hell happened it must have been big." he gets up from his spot. "I have to head down to the news station. You mind if I stopped by during lunch?"

I get up to see him out but he gestures for me to sit back down. "Sure." I reply. I could use some company anyways.

"Alright then. Later." he smiles and heads out my door. "I doubt whatever happened was anything bad, so don't worry too much." he says before closing my door.

Goddamn it, Kenny.

I decide to stay on the couch for a while but then ended up getting up anyways to prevent myself from over thinking anything. After that talk with Kenny I don't think I can sleep anymore. And plus, I should get some paperwork done before he comes back at noon. I doubt I can get anything done at that time either.

I make my way back to my room to put on a pair of socks to warm myself. As I creep my bare feet across the floor I realize how dumb it is that there's a set temperature in this building that can't be changed. Otherwise, I would have cranked up the heat a bit. It's too cold for my liking. Maybe that's another reason why I got sick too. I pull open my dresser and I notice a piece of paper on the top and pick it up, hoping that it's not one of the many forms that I have forgotten about.

'Hope you feel better, Stan. I left some medicine on your night stand with water so you don't have to go all the way to the kitchen. That is, if you still need it by the time you read this. Let me know how you feel. See you on Monday.

-Kyle

P.S: I'm free next Saturday if you're still up for it.'

My face heats up and it's not from the fever. Now I remember last night; last night when I wasn't functioning mentally; last night when I probably freaked out Kyle and possibly scarred him for life again. No wonder why he ran away like crazy. I up and asked him on a date for no reason! I probably wasn't even in my right mind when that happened since I barely remember it. But a wave of relieve washes over me after I realize that he was still worried enough to leave me a note, and not only that, but he didn't reject my offer either much to my surprise. But if he had any intention of rejecting me then he wouldn't have written it on this note in the first place, right?

Perhaps he didn't think too much of it?

I really should take better care of myself. Getting sick makes me over think more than necessary.

I place the note back on the dresser and head to the bathroom. I can analyze this note later with Kenny, but right now, I need to freshen up. I feel all gross. And not just because I was a total creep to Kyle either.

I turn on the facet and start brushing my teeth while examining my tired eyes in the mirror. If Kyle didn't think too much of the question then he probably agreed because he though it's going to be just a normal friendly hang out with Kenny and the others. And if that's true, is he going to invite them along too? Great. If he invites them then it's going to be another day with us unable to really spend time with one another. Even in school, we don't have that much time together anyways. At most is the half-hour of lunch out of the five and a half hours at school. Sometimes students even come bother us during lunch too, whether a student doesn't feel well and needs to see me or a student from Kyle's class needs help on homework, we still get interrupted most of the time.

Maybe somehow Kyle looks forward to these interruptions to avoid being alone with me for too long. I know that sounds pessimistic, but I shouldn't completely rule that possibility out.

I stare depressingly into the sink and continue to brush. If that's the case, then...

_"You shouldn't say things like that, Kyle."_

"_W-What do you mean?"_

"_Because...some people might take you seriously..."_

I drop my toothbrush and touch my lips, somehow recalling a familiar sensation on my lips. Did I bite my lips while I was asleep? I examine myself carefully. No, it's not a painful sensation at all. But...soft...and...

The contact our lips made hit me like a train and every bit of toothpaste in my mouth comes flying out onto the mirror before I can even calm myself.


	21. Ambiguity

Chapter 21

Ambiguity

**Kenny**

I tap the corner of my desk as I continue to listen to the voice on the other end, wishing that it would be over and done with as soon as possible. But abruptly hanging up right now doesn't seem like the best idea...not unless I want an earful about it from Kyle later. I definitely cannot deal with his grumbling about how I'm a shitty friend and whatnot in my state of mind for this past week.

"Are you even listening?"

I sigh into the speaker end of the phone and switch ears. I check my watch and realize it's been twenty fucking minutes already. She wasted twenty minutes of my break with only ten minutes remaining. So much for a nice quiet lunch. Correction: so much for finishing my lunch since I haven't been able to touch what my wife made ever since she started chatting. Don't get me wrong, I'm an expert at talking with my mouth full or just listening while I eat. I should know since Kyle always bitches at me for lacking proper manners whenever I talk with a full mouth, but it's more like I lost my appetite today.

"Yeah..." I rub my eyelids and lean back on my chair a bit. But even with a ruined lunch break I can't just ignore someone who's crying at the other end of the line. Even if it is Wendy.

Basically for the past twenty minutes she has been crying about how Kyle's been distant lately. Like the way he keeps cancelling plans on her and refusing to go over to her place because he's busy with something, or how he doesn't really listen to her when she talks and even going as far as losing his patience if she asked him what was wrong. Truth be told, if Kyle says he's busy with something, it usually means he definitely IS busy with something. I know the guy, and he's usually telling the truth about stuff like that. It's just sad that his so-called girlfriend doesn't even know him well enough to realize that his job is a real pain in the ass when it comes to spare time. However, him being emotionally distant is another story.

I hear Wendy sniffle a couple of times before she takes another breath. "I just don't know what's going on." she says.

I don't say anything but let her cry to her heart's content.

For the whole week this was how my lunch went by each day. Talking on the phone with Wendy out of all people. And by talking on the phone I mean it mainly consists of her talking and me not knowing what to say. I would have nicely told her to bugger off and never call me again...but her tears. Every time she called and would be either near tears or is already crying. And even I can't just shut her out without a single thought. And I hate to admit that I'm beginning to grow accustomed to this daily routine of ours. She even dropped by the day before in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep. I've heard of calling up friends in the middle of the night to talk about problems, but I've never heard of anyone driving all the way in from South Park just to talk about relationship problems. I even let her stay the night and had to lie to Kyle who couldn't reach her at her house that she had car troubles and needed a place to crash. Of course, right when Kyle called, her mood was suddenly lifted and she left almost immediately. But then it was the same problem again the next day, which brings us to where we are now. Maybe I'm just being soft because of her sorrow that I can't find the nerve to tell her off like I would do to most people, but I can't help thinking that maybe our increased contact this past week has somehow brought me back to the past.

Our past.

"Wendy, I don't have time to listen to this." I mumble into the phone even though I know that that won't do any good. It's more like a way for me to convince myself that just because she's crying, it doesn't change the way I feel about her presently. But I'm still human after all. No matter how much I hate someone, I just can't be my usual asshole self to them if they're in a pathetic state like this. But the question is, do I really hate her, and has the feeling I've been feeling for her all this time really been hate? That's the thing that has been on my mind all week ever since we increased contact with each other.

"I know. But thanks for listening." she says in between her sniffs but make no effort to hang up.

"Sure, whatever." I say back but also make no effort to hang up. If really hated her, then I would hang up on her, right? I'm starting to sound like Kyle.

I can feel her pain. The pain of not knowing what the hell's going on and the same pain that makes you doubt everything that you thought was true. I should know since that was the only thing I felt up until I met my wife. So I can't not feel for someone going through what I went through a long time ago, even if this particular someone was the cause of my past melancholy.

"I should go." she sniffles again and the phone goes dead, so I finally hang up.

Really. It this how my life at work going to be like from now on so long as Kyle doesn't address his fucking problem? Am I going to have to pay the price for Kyle's cowardice by having my past pains dug up and relived.

I sigh and close my eyes. I promised myself that I wouldn't interfere anymore with Kyle's life, but now that I'm being slowly dragged into this, I don't think I have much of a choice. This isn't just about Kyle anymore, this is about me and my life with the one I love. And I can't risk that for anything. This past week has been hell for me and I have a feeling it isn't going to end any time soon. Not unless Kyle makes up his fucking mind and not unless Wendy stops acting like the way I was.

"Goddamn it..." I mumble in my hands. I was hoping I wouldn't have to think about the past anymore. My wife and I have gone through so much to be happy the way we are today...but this situation with Kyle is fucking up our efforts. It's as though I keep telling myself that it's not my problem and that I'm just the good friend that will help Kyle get through this, but that isn't the case anymore. It's become a part of my problem through my association with Kyle.

This isn't fair.

I thought involving myself in this problem would help one of my best friends be happy. I just didn't think that doing something good would be such a hassle for myself. It's like one phrase that fatass Cartman always said to us whenever we thought about doing something good instead of causing trouble...what was it? 'No good deed goes unpunished?' Or something along those lines. The only reason I remembered that phrase was because that what exactly happened to Stan and I when we were hanging out with Kyle and Cartman that one time after school in ninth grade. I remember we found a wallet on the street when we were walking home and decided to drop it off at the police station instead of taking out all the money like Cartman suggested. Little did we know, the owner was also at the police station looking for his wallet and when we brought it in, he accused us of stealing it off of him in the first place.

"_I told you assholes, no good deed goes unpunished."_ was what Cartman rubbed in our face for the next couple of weeks, making sure we felt like shit for trying to be "goody-goods," according to him.

Maybe it's because I haven't moved past it yet, but regardless, it's not something that I want hanging on me. No, not while I'm trying to have a future with my wife. I can't have the past affecting my future. If I leave it the way it is now, I'm afraid the past will destroy my life now and the life that I will have. I just can't let the past nourish itself through my present. I need to destroy my past with Wendy.

Our past.

**Kyle**

The number of people passing me in the mall is making me more and more anxious as my watch ticks away every second, telling me that it's getting closer to the time that Stan will arrive. Its slow and yet balanced ticking with equal intervals feels like it's mocking me for standing here looking like a complete loser, and for coming out on a secret hang out with Stan behind Wendy's back. Maybe I'm just nervous but I'm normally not like this when I'm nervous. When I'm nervous I feel more of a sense of dread; a sense of not wanting what I'm nervous about to happen. Like that time when Stan and Kenny got in trouble for finding that ugly wallet. I felt that dread right when that guy glared at them and immediately I started to dread that they would get accused for stealing. And when it happened, I started to wish it didn't happen in the first place. But right now, it's neither of those feelings. It's more comparable to the feeling I felt the day I saw Stan for the first time. The feeling I couldn't describe. That...surreal feeling.

I glace at my watch again. Right, checking my watch every twenty seconds isn't going to make Stan arrive any faster. Especially since I'm the one who arrived half an hour early to meet him. Only a dork would do that.

A couple of girls from my school stand across me and whisper to each other while throwing glances at me every now and then. Only an idiot wouldn't think that they're talking about me. Knowing the types of students in my school, it's probably going to be the talk among the hallways by the end of fifth period on Monday. Something along the lines of "Did you know Mr. Broflovski was at the mall on Saturday waiting in front of the giant fountain? Maybe he's on a date with a secret love!" or "Oh, did you see Mr. Broflovski standing in front of the fountain? Maybe he's piss poor and is waiting for everyone to leave so he can steal the pennies in there." Either way, I'll look bad because that's just what the students at my school are good at. If only they would put that much effort into their schoolwork then our school wouldn't have to show off its wealth and high-classiness to cover up the poor grades. Maybe then the school wouldn't have to take so much money out of the budget to glam up its social events. I wouldn't mind finally having some good cafeteria food for once.

One of the girls point and laugh at me and all I do is nod out of politeness for noticing them. They wave and then take their leave much to my relief. It was stupid of me to think that I wouldn't run into anyone from school at this mall. I mean come on Kyle, it's only the biggest and most popular mall in Denver, so of course your chance of running into anyone living in Denver would be next to zero. No Kyle, even though this mall contains the majority of shopping needs for the people you know in Denver, they would never in their freaking life ever think about shopping here because your chance of running into them is ZERO.

God fucking damn it.

I glance at my watch again. There's still about twenty minutes before Stan arrives so I should walk around for a bit to move my legs and to not look like a poor creeper who's waiting for his secret love and/or trying to steal the pennies out of the giant fountain. And if I'm lucky, I might be too tired from the walk to be nervous in front of Stan.

I walk into the bookstore and look around the various sections they have on display and find nothing particularly interesting. The typical romance novel and science fiction comic are nothing new to me. They have had the same selection of graphic novels for almost three years. I've read them all whenever I come here with Wendy and wait for her to go off to select her own books in peace since nothing she reads interests me. I just wish they would update their graphic novels. I'm just dying to know what happens to that blonde ninja after him and his best friend kick each other's ass and go their separate ways. Every time I come back to check on the updates I get disappointed because I wonder if it will be a happy ending for the two characters, even if that is a romanticized view on real life. But it doesn't hurt to daydream sometimes even if such an ending can only occur in fiction.

I walk out of the book a little disappointed that I still don't know the fate of the two friends in my favourite graphic novel after three years. Actually, I'm more disappointed because it feels like a sign that my future with Stan is just as ambiguous as that unfinished story that I still don't know the ending to. And just like that story, the control is out of my hands because I'll only know if the artist decides to continue that story or if the store decides to update with new volumes the same way as only time can tell me which way mine and Stan's relationship will go. Unfortunately, rushing things will probably render our relationship as bad as an artist rushing his/her work and ending up with messy plot holes in his/her story. And I don't want plot holes in my story.

I make my way around to the clothing store on the other side of the mall and catch my attention on a couple of those religious people trying to promote Christianity or something along those lines. It looks like they're badgering the shit out of...Stan?

I check my watch and realize that I was in the bookstore far longer than expected so I make my way over there to save the day.

"Would you like to attend our weekly gathering this weekend? You can reinforce your faith in Christ through this event." says one of the well dressed guys to Stan while the other one forces a bunch of brochures towards him.

Stan just fumbles around for a bit and tries to politely brush them off but fail to do so since they keep interrupting him. He never has been good with dealing with pressure from religious people even when he was younger. I guess that's another thing that hasn't changed.

"W-well...I..." Stan mumbles nervously again but the two men are just too into persuading Stan into coming to their event and attacking him with more brochures.

"Stan is there a problem?" I approach him and he looks as if he is about to cry after seeing me. The two men are also a bit startled that I interrupted their "talk" with Stan.

"Kyle-."

"Oh, are you a friend of his?" the one in the short brown hair cuts him off as they are quick to switch their attention from Stan to me. "We were just telling your friend Stanley here that-."

"Oh, sorry we don't have too much time for this." I try to reason.

"No, you have plenty of time. We really welcome you and Stanley here join us for this wondrous event." he shoves a brochure in my face. These guys are really hard to push off. No wonder why Stan always had such a hard time. I just want to know why he attracts these type of people so much.

"That's alright. We have somewhere we need to be." I try to reason again as I start to back up a bit.

"Oh, it can't be as important as our gathering with Christ is it?" the guy laughs obnoxiously. "Stanley here was just-."

"That's alright, we were just on our way to get married." I smile mischievously and tug on Stan's arm to move him forward. I've had it up to here with this guy calling Stan by his full name. Who the fuck does he think he is? "Come on, let's go...er...sweetie." I tug on Stan's sleeve again and we walk away.

As expected, the two guys back away without hesitation and politely make up some excuse that they had somewhere else to be. Much to our relief, they go off quite fast too. It's actually kind of funny.

"Married?" Stan asks while I pull him forward as quickly as possible in case those two decide to come back.

"Forget about that. More importantly, are YOU alright? You looked like you were about to keel over." I reply as I place emphasis on my voice to remind Stan of all the trouble he would get himself into whenever it involved religious people.

He looks away a bit embarrassed that he was actually bothered by two guys that were smaller and probably younger than he is."Ah...yeah. I never have been good at trying to ward off those creepy religious guys in public."

"I know." I smile as I face him and he grins at my remembrance. Rather bashfully too.

"And another important question, are we going to eat or what?" I ask and he suddenly remembers that we both haven't had lunch yet.

"That's right. Those guys actually made me forget about food for once." he laughs and we make our way to order our food. But the problem now is deciding where to order from because it seems like we bother have our eyes on different places.

We'll figure something out.

**X**

"Honestly, that food was as bad as our school's." Stan throws out his trash.

I'm not going to lie, the food we ordered was so disgusting that we had to trade lunches. But even that didn't help because we ended up hating each other's food even more. So in the end, we opted to buy a few snacks from the few stores around us that had nothing but junk food. Then again, having junk food is better than the crap we ordered any day.

"Hey, where do you want to go?" I pop a piece of gum in my mouth and offer Stan a piece but he declines.

"Hmm..." Stan looks around the mall. "I've never really been here before, so maybe you can show me around. It's huge." he smiles with wonder. "I mean the malls in New York are bigger, but they don't have some of the stores you guys have here."

Stan looks around and points at the store across from us. "Like that store. What do they sell there? It looks pretty racy."

"It's a sex shop."

Stan raises an eyebrow and looks at me awkwardly. "Maybe we should check other stores."

"Sure, want to check out that music store?" I pointed to a nearby store blaring one of Lady Gaga's new releases with her video flashing on the various T.V's hanging around the store. "They might have something you like. Maybe you can-."

"Is that Officer Barbrady?" Stan asks as he points to the floor below us at a rather tall and pudgy security guard that resembles said officer distinctly. I scratch my head as I try to remember him. Well, that explains why we haven't seen him in South Park for so many years. I guess Stan's not the only who left.

"No wonder why I haven't seen him." I shrug. "Oh well, come on Stan, let's go into the music store." I don't give Barbrady a second thought and remind Stan that there are more interesting things to do in a mall on a Saturday afternoon than stare at an overweight ex-cop from South Park. Perhaps that's what people do New York on Saturdays but it's not something that would I like to spend my weekend doing.

I'm suddenly yanked back as Stan pulls on my arm when I try to move forward. "Remember that game we used to play when we were little?" Stan asks with his gaze still fixed on Barbrady. I read into that look of both excitement and mischief in Stan's eyes. It is then I realize exactly what he is referring to.

The "Hide From the Cop Game."

Basically, when we were in middle school, we invented this new game to piss off the mall security guards. We would stalk out a guard in duty and then blow spit balls at them over the railing from the floor above. Then we would hide from them as they freaked out and looked around for the culprits who blew the many wet wads of paper at them. But that only happened rarely when we did managed to hit them from such a high distance. But when it did happen, it was the funny crap ever.

Stan pulled out a few tissues and started forming small balls after wetting them a bit with his spit.

"Stan, I don't think this is a good idea..." I warn him as I try to remind him how old we are and that this type of mischief will only embarrass us if we get caught. Imagine, two grown men getting caught for spit-balling a security guard at the mall. I wonder how well that will sit with me at school since the students there are likely to gossip about it like there's no tomorrow.

"I wasn't actually going to do it." he replies as he flicks the balled up tissue down below but it doesn't hit Barbrady or anyone for that matter. It just lands on the far away floor and will probably be stepped on by people walking around. "Besides," he continues. "I don't have a straw." he flicks another piece. "I just wanted to relive a happy memory with you, that's all." he laughs.

As we stand there gazing down from the railing, there's something about what Stan said that makes my eyes sting a bit. Maybe it's the memory of the good times, or maybe it's because of fact that we may never experience those happy memories the same way again, but...but...

"Kyle...?" Stan looks at me with distress and reaches out with the left over tissue and wipes my face.

"What? Is there something on my face or...?"

"You're crying." his voice softens as he dries off my skin.

"Oh..." I touch the side of my face and feel it's wetness; a wetness that won't stop. Yeah, why am I crying? Why out of all places, am I crying here in public with Stan next to me? I can't think right now since all of my sense are shut down. The only thing that I feel are Stan's strong arms around me, holding me while I let the tears flow down my face and soak into Stan's blue sweater.

It's strange, all it took was a simple reminder of a childhood game to render me into a crying mess. It's not like the game was so awful that it made me feel bad about tormenting those security guards at the mall, but it's more like I felt the possibility that we CAN return to those happy times together even if they won't be exactly the same. Rather, we'll somehow be happy again in a different way; a way that'll present itself as a different kind of relationship than what we had before. But the only question is, what kind of relationship will that be and where will it take us? Will we be happy just the way we are as distant friends? Close friends? Something else? Or a combination of the second and third choice?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I just don't fucking know.

This mystery makes the tears in my eyes flow down even faster than before. This damn ambiguity scares me so much that all I can do is cling to Stan for comfort. It's strange, he's the cause of this ambiguity and yet he's the only thing that can heal me; the only one that can sooth the hurt of this ambiguous rift between us; and most of all, he's the only that can stop the pain all together.

"Stan?" I mumble out as I try to pull out of his tight hold.

"What's the matter?" he loosens his hold on me and I finally pull my face out of his grasp.

"I couldn't breathe." I sniff a bit as I chuckle, embarrassed that he (and probably along with the rest of the people in the mall if they were paying attention) had to see a grown man crying in the arms of another grown man. Some things are better done in private, but I couldn't help myself. It just all came out.

"Sorry." he flushes a bit and looks away. "I get a little protective when someone close to me is hurt."

Okay, so I guess we're not distant friends then. That only leaves the second and third option.

"I know. You always were like that even back then." I smile all the while trying to compose myself. I feel like a complete wreck since I am and always have been the one who didn't let emotions get in the way of rational thinking except for the occasional outburst if something really struck a nerve. Letting my emotions slip out in public isn't the most logical thing in the world, but I guess today was one of those instances that hit a nerve for me. And I can see why it did.

"Hey Stan," I continue, seeing as how this is the best time to bring it up more than ever while we are in the mood. Who knows when an opportunity like this will come again. "you know you accidently kissed me last week, right?"

Stan's expression freezes as he looks away. The best I can describe it is an "oh shit" look on his face. I can't say that my expression did not freeze after looking at him because that means he probably remembers exactly what happened even if it seemed like he was so off to La-la land to even register his surrondings.

"Yeah...I did." he scratches the back of his head and leans forward on the railing. "Why?"

"No, it's nothing. I just thought you might want to know what happened in case you didn't remember." I mumble into my sleeve all the while drying off my damp face.

Stan simply nods and continues staring at Barbrday below us who is still not doing much besides standing there looking like a tool.

"Sorry..." he mumbles. "I really didn't mean to."

"Ah, no!" I protest because the last thing I want is for Stan to think I'm putting him on the spot for it. "Don't apologize. In fact," I add as my face heats up and I'll most likely regret saying this later. "it's wasn't that bad."

"Really?" Stan grins. "I guess that's why the girls were so crazy about me in high school. I'm still a good kisser even when unconscious."

"They're still crazy about you, you know." I say as I feel a bit of jealousy hit me after being reminded how the girls back then and now still drool over him. And I don't mean that I'm jealous OF him.

Stan chuckles at my reaction and then softens. "If only a certain person were that crazy over me, then I could care less if every woman in the world found me found me repulsive." he looks at me intensely with those deep blue eyes that my heart literally skips a beat. Even with that piercing look, I'm unable to look away. All I can do is stare and left myself be drawn in by them.

"W-what are you-?"

"Tell Wendy I'm sorry." Stan leans in and kisses me as he resumes his initial hold around my body when I was in tears.

Without thinking, I kiss back and leave my lips on his for as long as I can, not wanting to break it just yet. I don't care if children or the elderly are watching. Shit, I don't even care if kids from our school are watching. I just want to stay like this. I just want Stan to pull me out of reality and leave me like this for as long as he can. I just want...Stan.

Stan stops and tries to part but I place both my hands on his head and pull him back in again. This may not be a deep kiss, but I don't care. I just want contact. The warmth from the contact is more than enough to make me happy right now and I'll be damned if I let Stan get away just when I'm starting to enjoy it. But after this, I just know that I'll be wondering where this will takes us in our relationship. It'll be so much more confusing than before that I'll be constantly asking myself why did I not want to let Stan go? Why did I kiss him back when I'm with Wendy now? But more importantly...

...what are we now?


	22. Strangers

Oh hai. Long time no see.

* * *

Chapter 22

Strangers

**Stan**

Horror.

That's all that is staring back at me right now is a look of complete shock and horror; a look of utter shame and disgust with himself that I don't even know what to say to him to take everything back. I can't just up and say "Oh, Kyle that was just a joke. I didn't mean anything by the kiss." because it wasn't a joke. It wasn't a fucking joke. He looked so sad and depressed that the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss him and make him feel better. I wanted to do what I couldn't do five years ago and let him know that I'm here and will always be here to catch his tears when he is down on the dumps. But now, I think that that was a bad move on my part; a really bad move especially because _I'm_ the cause of his tears.

Being a good person sure blows.

Big time.

"Kyle?"

"..."

"Kyle?" I move my hand towards him to calm him but he flinches and swats my hand away from him. I pull back from the impact that left my hand slightly stinging as I watch him failing to regulate his breathing. Kyle was always known to hit anyone who aggravates him hard, I guess I'm no exception.

"Sorry..." he mumbles without looking at me. His gaze seems to be fixated on something on the floor, but I know that he isn't focused on any particular object; just a way out.

"...what?" I ask him with confusion. Sorry? Sorry about what? He wasn't the one that did anything wrong. I should be the one apologizing for being so reckless with him in the first place. No scratch that, I should start by apologizing for being a coward five years ago when I left. That was what brought us to where we are currently after all. This isn't like him. Kyle would never apologize for something he didn't do wrong. His constant fights with Cartman were enough proof and I'll be damned if I'm the reason that even his personality is this fucked up right now. Unless there was something else in the work here that is screwing up his thought process; something terrifying that has caused all his common sense to dive out the window.

"This is a mistake." he breathes out as he grabs his red locks in frustration and yanks on them. "I...I...I have a girlfriend."

I knew it.

That is a more than valid reason on his part.

"Yeah, I know." I reach out and brush away a loose strand of red hair from his face and ignore the pang in my chest. "I'm sorry for that...I just-."

Again he swats away my hand and looks at me angrily.

"How could you...?" his voice shivers as he pulls away from me while I stare at him with even more confusion. "How could you do this to me?"

I take a step forward. "What are you talking about?"

He takes another step back and cringes, grinding his teeth. "You left me...then come prancing back into my life and confuse me with your whole friendly attitude...and then you...kiss me without any warning." he stated angrily as he finally look up a look of pure anger instead of fright. From my peripheral vision, I notice a number of people staring as they pass by with their shopping bags, but that is the least of my worries. I'm just more focused on how I could have royally fucked up everything with Kyle; fucked up everything for him.

"Stop confusing me!" he shouts in what I'm imagining is five years worth of frustration and anger bottled up and suddenly bursting out to the surface.

"Kyle! Listen to me!" I plead and he shakes his head and steps further away, evading my touch.

"I...I can't do this anymore." hr huffs as he starts backing away. "Five years Stan...Five fucking years I've been living my life without worrying about more confusion with you. And now..." he chokes out. "And now...you're back...I don't even know what to do anymore." he mumbles in a low voice that can only mean he wanted out of this situation now and fast.

"No, Kyle!" I step forward quickly but he retreats just as fast. "Let's talk about this!"

Kyle shakes his head again. "I have a girlfriend...a normal life I need to get back to...I need to go." he turns around and quickly heads to the direction of the mall's exit.

I start to chase after him but stop myself when I realize the dirty looks coming from the people nearby. I even hear a woman whispering to a man (probably her husband) next to her about whether or not they should go get security because I looked trouble and was probably going the guy that I was just talking to. I sigh to myself. For now, I'll leave it for the sake of both our sanities and the public that could trash my reputation at school if word got out that I was a psycho teacher who chased Mr. Broflovski down the mall to beat him up or something like that. No use in causing Kyle more pain; no use ruining his "normal life." Plus, I would be saving myself of the embarrassment from the crowd if I didn't run after him.

"Fuck..." I mumble to myself as I watch him disappear amongst the crowd. This definitely was not what I was expecting out of our day together.

And worse yet, why am I not included in his so-called "normal" life?

**XXX**

"I hope he's home." I say to myself.

Rather than going home, I decide to head up to Kenny's room for the rest of the day. It's not like the guy doesn't know what's going on anyways. I'm pretty sure he was aware of what was going on ever since I came back and obviously even before that. And plus, it's not like there's anyone else who I can talk to. The only other person is Kyle and he's part of the problem. I can't talk to Craig or Token because I barely know those guys anymore and the former can be a bit of a dick. And definitely not Tweek either because it would be way too much pressure on his fragile little mind. Besides, Kenny had always shown to be quite insightful ever since we were young, so his opinion is something extremely valuable to me right now. And I really need someone with their head on their shoulders; someone to tell me the way things are right now and not mask it up with an "it'll be alright" speech when things are clearly not alright.

I sigh to myself and knock on his door and not too long after, the door swings open with Kenny wearing some old clothes covered with splotches of paint. I can only guess what he was doing.

"Stan...um...surprise much?" he laughs as he brushes a smear of yellow paint off the side of his cheek which didn't do much other than smear the splotch even more. For some reason, the paint adds a bit of a youthful charm to the man.

I glance in his place and notice the covered up furniture and other objects moved out of the way for painting. "If you're busy I can always come back later." I shrug.

Kenny examines me for a second and then smiles. "No. You know what? Come on in. I was taking a break anyways." he beckons and I close the door behind me. I wrinkle my nose from the paint fumes that always made me nauseous when I was a kid.

"Something's wrong, right?" he pulls off his bandana and runs a hand through his golden locks, which have a few flicks of paint on them. "And I don't mean the fact that the fumes are making you want to hurl." Typical Kenny. Already knowing what's going on just from studying my body language. But then again, that's what I like most about him; that's why I came up here in the first place.

"Are you alone?" I ask cautiously.

"Dude. Stan, I'm married."

"I'm not here for that!" I retort.

"Alright, I'm kidding!" he laughs and backs away a bit. Although a part of me doubts that he was joking. I take a seat on the covered up couch and sigh with frustration, showing that I'm in no mood to take any of his bullshit right now. Even if said bullshit was meant to make me feel better. The covering makes a wrinkling sound as I shift my body on the seating.

"Stan, what's wrong?" he sits next to me and all I hear is a louder wrinkling sound of impact on the couch.

"I fucked things up, Kenny." I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh again.

"How?" he raises an eyebrow.

I explain everything from the beginning of my hangout with Kyle all the way until the kiss and Kenny just nods with the occasional "Oh really?" as a response. Nothing along the lines of yelling or an overly surprised reaction from him. He just listens and responds accordingly. It reminds of the talk I had with Kenny five years ago right before our graduation. And all I can say is that it's nice to have someone so understanding and surprisingly mature; even if his normal demeanour speaks otherwise.

"I think I might have weirded him out with the kiss." I add.

"Yeah."

"Most people don't rush things. They start out as friends and go from there, right? But I jumped the gun and I haven't even been back for that long of a time."

"Yeah..."

"But I should've let our friendship play out a bit longer..."

"Yeah..."

"Are you even listening?" I ask as I was beginning to doubt Kenny's attention since he is also known to lose interest when the person he was listening to starts to rant rather than getting to the main point.

Kenny groans in annoyance. "Yes. And do you think if you left it going on the way it was when you first came back it would have changed on its own over time?" he questions. Only it wasn't a question in which he did not know the answer to. He's asking me to reflect on the situation at hand, and I'm left thinking hard about this. I go quiet and as I was caught off guard of his question that triggered some sort of epiphany inside of me.

"Uhh...I'm not sure..."

"The answer is _no_, Stan."

Kenny sits up more and turns around to face me, with his legs crossed in front of him on the couch. "Stan, I don't think he has ever stopped loving you."

I look up at Kenny and he is staring at me intensely. "How do you know that?"

"Obviously I just do. Kyle's not the type to initiate things unless you give him a push. And I'm sorry to say you're the same way." he replies matter-of-factly.

Even though what Kenny says is optimistic and is also bringing more hope than ever, I still feel slightly doubtful of his explanation. It's true that Kenny is always right about certain things because he can read the atmosphere better than any genius that I know. But there are times where he does let his ego blind him from the obvious. He lets what he thinks is right dictate his perspective on the situation and that in turns warps his opinion into something completely opposite of what he usually says. In other words, he'll analyze the situation the way that favours what his ego is telling him. Unfortunately, that is his only downfall and I can't help but think that maybe that is the case right now.

I don't say anything but nod, trying to figure out if he is indeed letting his ego cloud his judgement on this. But then again, it's not his obligation to analyze my situation for me and tell what to do like a parent. It's my problem afterall. Not his.

"Why else do you think I was kicking your ass to get him back from that bitch?" he adds and something inside of me triggers. I look up at him and he stares back with a questionable gaze.

"What?"

For someone who claims he has nothing to do with my problem, he sure comes off as taking it quite personally too; especially since a normal person could care less about someone else's problem, at least not to the same extent as Kenny. I know Kenny is sympathetic and would probably kill for his friends, but something just seems a little off. He seems hurt by this problem as well and I can't figure it out; there seems to be something else going on.

"Okay, now I have to know." I finally confess and bring his attention to the issue at hand.

"What?"

"Seriously, why do you hate Wendy so much?" I say bluntly and I watch him falter a bit much to my surprise. I think this is the first time I have ever seen Kenny suddenly caught off guard. He's usually so stone cold with his poker face that he doesn't come off as the type who would be intimidated by anything.

"We're talking about Kyle here, Stan." he chuckles and tries to play me off but I get up and face him to show that I'm not going to take his bullshit. We're the same height so I have no problem making direct eye contact with him.

"No. I need to know whether or not you pushing me towards Kyle has some sort of hidden agenda." I point at him and he growls with irritation. He turns away and glares at the scattered pieces of newspaper on the ground splattered in paint.

"It's not what you think, you asshole. I really do want you and Kyle to be together. You guys just piss me off so much with your tension that it fucking hurts!" he yells back. "It's always been Stan and Kyle and will be that way!"

I back up a little and cringe at his sudden outburst that sounded borderline insane. But it still doesn't explain _why_ he hates Wendy so much. Normally people wouldn't hate another person for no reason no matter how much they wanted two people to be happy together. Things just don't work like that. You don't completely hate another person if they haven't personally hurt you in some way no matter how good friends you are with the victims. It's just not the same kind of hate because they didn't experience the same kind of hurt as said victim. The only thing they will feel is anger because someone has hurt their friends. That's it. Plain and simple. And if I remember correctly Kenny and Wendy were neither friends nor enemies in high school. They were close to nothing.

"Then why so much hate towards Wendy? Not that I'm defending anyone here, but ever since I came back all I ever heard from you was 'I hate Wendy blah blah, she's a bitch blah blah.' You guys barely talked in elementary school, let alone high school. I mean I don't think-."

"She broke my heart, Stan."

I don't know if I heard him wrong because of the fact that we were so caught up in the moment or maybe because I can't fucking believe what I just heard coming out of the mouth of Kenny McCormick, but it felt like the whole place went still for a second; as if everything just took a three-eighty degree turn and we're now in some opposite parallel world were Kenny would spew crap from his mouth that he wouldn't normally say. I hope that is the case anyways. If not, I'm going to be a little more than just surprised at the news.

"What?"

Kenny shrugs. "She broke my heart, okay? Ha ha let's laugh it up."

Now I'm the one caught off guard as I try to figure out what Kenny said is true. I study his face for any signs of lying but find nothing. So it is true afterall. No opposite parallel universe or lying going on. Everything is fact and true as scary as that sounds. But I guess studying his face would have been useless anyways. It's not like I would have been able to find anything hidden behind his expression because he's such a good liar. It was just out of instinct on my part. I should have known better than to try and read a sociopath's emotions.

"Kenny..."

"Nevermind that...it's not your problem." he places a hand out and interrupts me. "And before you say anything, I don't want to talk about it now." he rubs his eyelids, looking like he's the one who is frustrated. "It's a story for another time, ok?"

I don't say anything and nod in return. Knowing Kenny, once he says he does not want to talk about something, he won't no matter how much torture you inflict on him. He's not the type to kiss and tell. And he's right. It's his story and right now, mine and Kyle's story is what he wants to focus on.

Kenny looks at me briefly then clears his throat to break the awkward silence. "So what made you kiss him anyways?" he asks.

Yeah, why did I kiss him anyways? The only explanation I can think of is that it was purely on impulse. I had wanted to connect with him so badly that when he started to cry I just couldn't take it. It just reminded how sad he looked that time when I went back to South Park to visit. He had on that same forlorn look on his face that all I wanted to do was make it go away. And it hurt me even more that after all these years of watching him hurt and being unable to do anything, that I just snapped. He may have thought I was pushing my feeling onto him, but that was far from it. I just wanted him to stop crying.

"He was crying...and..."

"He was fucking crying?"

"He was crying," I repeat with a stern voice. "and I didn't know what else to do." I sigh. It was true afterall. It wasn't a romantic kiss or anything despite how I feel about him. At least it wasn't romantic on my part. But then, the only question was why did he pull me back for a second kiss if he was so bothered by it afterwards? It doesn't make sense.

"So you _kissed_ him?" Kenny says sarcastically. "Oh, that was just genius Stan, why don't you try fucking him in public the next time he has a breakdown." he blurts out coldly.

There's the old Kenny again.

"What's your problem?" I ask with disbelief.

Kenny runs a hand through his blond locks. "Sorry, I'm in a bad mood right now." he mumbles into his hand. "My wife's gone on a trip with the daycare for a couples of days and mentioning Wendy did _not_ help my mood."

I sigh tiredly. "Sorry." Looks like I'm not the only one who's negatively affected by another person.

"It's alright." he goes around the sofa and opens the door for me even though I didn't say anything about leaving yet. I could tell that he just can't wait for me to leave so I don't even try to protest. Just the way he is staring at me practically screams "Get the fuck out now or I'll kill you."

I nod again and start heading for the door. In total, I think I've been here for only ten minutes, which is the _shortest_ time I've ever stayed with someone whom I was planning to have a _long_ talk with. "See you later then?"

"Yeah..." he sends me a nod and before I can even turn around to take another glance at him, he shuts the door in front of me and locks it. The whole ordeal leaves me feeling as though I've wasted my whole day away with my stupidity being the source of misfortune. First Kyle, then Kenny. What next? I piss off Craig by walking pass him?

And I've only been back in Colorado for how long?

**Kenny**

I shut the door after Stan leaves and listen through the doorway until his footsteps completely disappear. I hear the elevator ding and then the sound of the doors closing. He's gone for sure now. I know it. Otherwise, he would flip if he found out that I wasn't exactly alone when he came barging in. Not that I would be afraid of his angry side. It just would have made things more complicated than they already are. It would have been a funny ordeal if I wasn't the type who hated drama happening in front of my face. If I loved drama, I would've called him out in the middle of mine and Stan's conversation and just let the two go at each other's throat while I watch from the sidelines.

I bet Bebe would have loved that. Fucking drama queen.

"Did you hear that?" I call out after knowing for sure that no one is on the other side. The bathroom door unlocks with a simple click.

"Yeah..."

"Well?" I turn around and he comes around the corner and stands in the middle of the living room. I place my hand on the door behind me and drum on the wood as I look at his gloomy face quizzically.

"Well what?" Kyle asks.

"Do you feel like a dumbass now?" I raise my eyebrow. "I told you he didn't mean anything by it. And you still freaked out."

"But-."

"Not only that, but you freaked out so much that you literally came running to me while leaving him behind. Why didn't you just stay and talk things over with him?" I shake my head at the absurdity behind Kyle's logic sometimes. He's the smartest out of the whole group, and yet, he can be such a dumbass sometimes that he lets his impulse take over and acts without thinking. Like today for example. I could just imagine how much of a dumbass he must have looked in front of the public and Stan.

At the comment, Kyle glares at me. "Don't push me, asshole."

The phone rings and Kyle and I jump but don't bother to pick it up since we both know who it is. After all, Kyle _did_ turn his cell phone off because he didn't, no, _couldn't_ speak to Wendy. So naturally she started calling here. It's been like that since they started dating. Whenever Wendy isn't able to get a hold of Kyle she immediately calls me to find him.

"So what now, Kyle?" I ask as both of us sudden remember a certain piece of information involving Wendy and I that I blurted out only minutes before. I guess I shouldn't be calling Kyle and Stan impulsive when I'm just as guilty of that vice at times.

"So..." he swallows so hard that I hear the gulp sound in his throat. "You and Wendy...?" he asks but doesn't sound mad at all. More like...concerned.

Typical Kyle.

"Forget that..." I wave off the question and point out the door since it would be useless discussing business between Wendy and I now anyways. "Not you and Stan's story, remember? I think you need to catch up with a certain someone." I point towards the door.

"But..."

"Fuck! Just go! I'll tell you later, okay?" I pinch the bridge of my nose the way Stan does to get my point across. The last thing I want is to be here all day arguing over this with Kyle. All I want to do is get back to painting the fucking wall before I get so high from the fumes that I neglect everything and lie there giggling like a hippy on acid.

"Jesus Christ! I'm going!" he grumbles and hurries out the door after I do not hesitate to swing the door open as fast as I could and smash it against the wall behind it. I needed fresh air into the place anyways. The paint smell is beginning to make me want to vomit.

Without wasting a moment, I immediately follow Kyle downstairs to make sure that he goes to Stan instead of chickening out. That guy has chickened out more times than necessary and it had caused him(not to mention others) more problems than they asked for. Besides, it was about time Kyle needed to grow a pair.

I practically fly down the stairs by skipping three steps at once as I head down. And being careful not to slip on the tiles, I dash down the hallway and stop when I approach the corner. I lay low and stand in a safe area just enough to see Kyle at Stan's door. Good, so he went afterall.

Kyle knocks a few times and Stan answers almost immediately. He probably thought it was me or something. I don't see another reason why he would answer so eagerly. Unless he was hoping it was Kyle for some reason, but I doubt Stan would be expecting him out of all people after what happened.

"Kyle!" Stan says with surprise. No, sorry, more like with dread. The look on his face practically screams "Oh shit, he's going to not want anything to do with me anymore." But Kyle only smiles slightly as he releases a small breath from his mouth and looks up at Stan. He begins to talk but Stan stops him before anything is said.

"Before you say anything," Stan begins as he places a hand in front of Kyle to shush him up. "I just wanted to say sorry."

"Sor-?" Kyle asks but Stan silences him once again.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. You just looked so upset that I just wanted to comfort you like we did when we were little." Stan scratches the back of his head awkwardly and clears his throat. "I really just want to be friends again, dude. I didn't mean to freak you out like that."

"So the stuff in high school..."

"All water under the bridge dude." Stan grins and pats Kyle on the shoulder as a friendly gesture to reassure him that he could take him word for it. "Just friends, okay?"

Liar.

What a fucking liar. It's written all over his face and yet Kyle doesn't even notice.

After Stan releases Kyle's shoulder, Kyle merely nods unsurely and for some reason looks almost disappointed with Stan's proposal. Happy? Far from it. But he looks as though he is willing to accept that fact because it complicated things less. It's so typical of him to want something but when he is about to get it, he freaks the fuck out and ends up without it in the end anyways because it was "too complicated." And in the end he ends up even far less happier than before. It's things like this that always gets the guy in trouble all the time.

"So are we cool now?" Stan shifts his feet in front of him and asks cautiously as if he is trying to not to have a repeat of the today's incident.

Kyle falters a bit but then nods with a smile despite my internal protest. "Y-yeah. Of course!" he forces on a grin that's almost too painful to watch but can be described with one word.

Pathetic.

Stan in turn smiles half-heartedly and also nods. "Good. So I'll see you on Monday then?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Okay. Bye then." Kyle turns to leave and I'm able to catch a glimpse of his saddened state before he disappears through the door that leads to the foyer of the apartment. I step out of my spot and eye the direction he left in as I shake my head at Stan. Instead of angrily asking me what the fuck I was doing just standing there watching their little private moment, Stan merely sighs when he notices me.

"What? This makes things less complicated okay?" he sighs to himself. "Besides, I'm fine with being his friend. That's all I am to him anyways." he grumbles the last part and shuts the door to his apartment, leaving me standing there without even a "Goodbye, I hope you have a nice night." As soon as I hear the lock, I decide to head back upstairs.

It's strange how the last thing I thought would resurface for me ended up coming back to haunt me today because of Stan and Kyle's idiocy in regards to their relationship. Stan seems like he is pretty sure of how he feels about Kyle. But it's Kyle who needs to stop running away and just face the music. It's obvious the love never went away for either of them when they were separated, so then why is there so much trouble? Don't they understand that they don't need to act like strangers to each other when they were never strangers to begin with after their reunion? The whole concept just baffles me to the point where I'm ready to give up on them altogether.

But then again, I shouldn't be talking.

I have my own problems to sort out and I think I can say that I'm no better than Kyle from my position with Wendy. I did everything except solve things with her and I'll be damned if I can go on without this resurfacing and possibly be destructive to my relationship with my wife. And if Kyle doesn't deal with his shit properly soon, it will be just as destructive to his relationship as well; his relationship with Stan not with Wendy.

I re-enter my apartment and close the door behind me while thanking whatever deity was nice enough to prevent someone from robbing everything I had in there after I completely forgot to lock the door. I may seem down to earth and focused when dealing with other people's problems, but when those problems involve me, I lose my cool and become a scatter brain. Especially if those problems involve my first love who left me heartbroken for years. I lean against my door and sigh, wishing my wife would hurry up and come home to remind me that I have a new life now with a new love; to remind me that I _did _move on. Or at least allow me to continue believing that I did. The phone rings again and catches my attention. I take a quick glance at the caller I.D. before picking up.

Speak of the devil.

I pick up. "Wendy we need to talk..." I sigh into the phone and prepare myself for a long conversation that might go well into the night.

Dear Lord.


	23. Someone Willl Always Get Hurt

Chapter 23

Someone Will Always Get Hurt

**Kenny**

"_He was considered a reject. A good for nothing poor piece of trash that didn't deserve any better than the ghetto part of town. The boy who was always looked down upon because all hope for a bright future for him seemed almost impossible for such an unfortunate soul. No, it wasn't "almost" impossible, it was flat out impossible for him to redeem anything about himself. His grades were below mediocre, he was considered nothing but a perverted bastard, and was overall the worse out of all his friends. What did he have going for him? What did he have that made everyday full of hope and happiness? Who did he have to console him when he cried at night with no one there but what little possessions he had in his room to witness those unnoticed tears?_

_No one."_

_I read the first passage of the book our class was assigned to write an essay on while munching on the half eaten sandwich that Kyle shared. Oddly enough, this seems a bit too familiar to a certain guy I know a little too well. Damn author has everything down to the last detail in this book. Although I don't see the imagery, symbolism and whatnots that our English teacher pointed out to us, I do like the first page. I don't know what it is about the book that had me inclined to read it in the first place. Normally, I wouldn't even touch the books we are to read for class and hence, I always fail the assignments based on them. But this book, there's something about the title that grabbed me in. "Bittersweet." I don't know if there's a significance in the title choice or if the author was just hungry for dark chocolate while coming up with the title, but I like it. It...describes... me._

_And pretty well too. _

"_Are you actually reading?" Kyle leans over from his lunch and takes a peak at the item in my hands._

"_Yeah, and?"_

"_Well, you never read the material we're given." He shrugs._

"_Well, it's...kinda interesting." I reply as I flip to the next page._

"_You're only on the second page."_

"_Shut up."_

_Kyle shrugs again and turns back to face Stan to talk about whatever the hell they always talk about. Although I don't think they are talking about their daily escapades like they usually do because Stan and Wendy have broken up for the I-don't-know-illonth time this week, and Stan has been nothing but a crying pussy over it since. So I can only assume that's what they are quietly jabbering away about. I do wish he would stop with the whining because it's not like he really gives a shit about her anyways. Half the time he's with Kyle and the other half he's with Wendy...talking about Kyle. It's no wonder their relationship is like a fucking rollercoaster. It's always the same anyways: Wendy dumps Stan, Stan cries, and then Kyle soothes him. Fuck, their relationship is so messed up that even I can predict when the next breakup must take place. And when the next soothing session from Kyle will take place. Sometimes I think Stan purposely cries over Wendy just to get attention from Kyle._

_I brush a strand of hair out of my eyes and stare from the bench I am seated on with my friends. I've been around these people practically my whole life and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what distinguishes me from these smiling faces other than my economic status. _

_Happiness._

_They're all happy._

_They're all so fucking happy._

_In this big ass group that I've always resided, everyone seems to be paired off one way or another. Stan and Kyle, Fatass and Butters, Craig, Tweek, Clyde, and Token. Okay so maybe the guys from Craig's group aren't exactly "paired off" but that's not the point here. My point is that everyone always has "someone" while I just drift here and there or am just the guy one runs to when he's gotten into a spat with his best friend or something. I guess my point is...I'm never the "best friend." I'm always the secondary guy who gives advice to comfort someone until they got back to whoever was their first choice. I'm always the listener, never the one people listen to except when they need advice. _

_The second choice._

"_That's it, I've had enough. She's always breaking up with me anyways. So I don't care anymore." Stan complains into his hands as Kyle comforts him from the sidelines. I scoff to myself and close my book. I don't get why that bastard even bothers to pretend that he's upset with the breakup because everyone knows that him and Kyle are the gayest things in the world. It seems like everyone knows except them. I get up and shove my book into my bag to leave._

"_Where are you going, Ken?" Kyle looks over from Stan and asks. _

"_Away from you whiny assholes." I think to myself. "I'm going for a smoke." I say instead even though really just want to be away from them; away from Stan and Kyle in particular._

"_Okay then. See you back in class." Kyle smiles and I nod in acknowledgement._

_He doesn't care. As long as it has nothing to do with Stan, he could care less. But I do envy them. I envy them more than anyone could ever imagine. To be lucky enough to have someone close like that must be nice. But I could never bring someone into the kind of life that I have. If that person were as close to me as Kyle and Stan are, then I can't even bring myself to involve them into my shitty life. They'd be too good for that. At least I wish that is the only thing I have to worry about. It's so easy for me to just fade out of my place with everyone and watch things as a person who does not belong in anywhere. They're not the ones who have to deal with people who constantly remind you what a piece of shit you are and how much better off they would have been if you weren't born. They're the ones who have someone they can come home to; someone who they can share every aspect of their life with...someone who makes them feel worthwhile._

_I step out into the cool weather and light a cigarette near the back of the school building. But to be honest, I could smoke right in front of the school and the teachers could care less. I would probably get a short lecture about how smoking is bad from the guidance counsellor and that's about it. It wouldn't make me smoke any less or feel guiltier about doing it on school property so it would just be a waste of his breath and my time. _

_I lean against the concrete wall of the building and pull out the novel. I might as well continue reading while I'm out here since I have no plans on going back into the school and there is still half an hour left for my lunch. Not that I care about doing well in English, I just really want to see what happens later on. Perhaps this guy can get a happy ending._

"_Oh, I'm sorry!" a surprised gasp from above grabs my attention as I feel a light bump against my leg. I look up annoyed until I saw who it is. _

"_Oh hey, class president." I smirk at Wendy who still looked apologetic. "No need to apologize." I took another drag on my cigarette. _

_Before I know it, my cigarette is taken out of my hand and thrown to the ground and is stepped on. _

_Now I am annoyed._

"_What the hell?" I gesture towards my hand were the cigarette once was._

_She sits down next to me and not too long after, the principal walks by and greets us before disappearing around the corner. It is then I sigh and ask myself how did I forget that the principal does her checkups around the school every Friday. Getting in trouble with a few teachers is nothing but getting into shit with the principal is another story._

"_Thanks." I say to her and she nods._

"_I don't care what you decide to do with your health, but I would hate to see you kicked out of school and not have a future." She replies with a smile as I roll my eyes. "Plus, I don't think Stan and them would be too happy if you were gone." She smiles weakly and can see that there is something bothering her. I can only guess what it is._

_I take out another cigarette and stick it my mouth. "You know, why put yourself through all that heartache with Stan? You two break up and get back together more times than Bebe and Clyde." I pull out my lighter and lit the cigarette. I take a long drag before puffing out with the feeling of complete bliss._

"_I'm not upset about that, Kenneth." She mutters under her breath. "I'm so used to it by now that I expect it to happen as soon as we get back together..." she rests her chin on her knees._

"_Then why the long face?"_

_She sighs and shrugs. "I suppose I just don't know where we stand anymore. The uncertainty, you know?" She replies and I nod. "Ever since we were kids, I always picture myself and Stan living happily ever after like in those unrealistic fairy tales. It was what I was comfortable with. But now..." she bites on her lower lip. "...I don't know anymore and it's scary."_

"_Do you still love him?" I ask while flipping the pages in my book but not really reading them save for a few glances at the first word on each page. The previous word was 'shit' and the current word now is 'fuck.' _

"_I'm not sure." She chuckles. "Does it mean anything if I'm not upset when we do breakup?"_

"_Probably because you know that will get back with him once you breakup."_

"_Maybe..."_

"_So you guys always get back together because you feel comfortable? Boy, that's a little dumb. Especially for you." _

"_Ken-!" she starts angrily but I stop her before she even begins yelling. _

"_Look," I took one more puff on the cigarette before putting it out to save it for later. Not that I'm intentionally trying to cut down I just can't easily afford cigarettes. "you shouldn't be with a person just because you feel it's a safe haven. Someone will always get hurt." I have a feeling that that is why Stan is always getting back with her as well. There is no way that having a homosexual relationship with his best friend is something that he would be comfortable with right now."Personally I'd rather be alone than live my life like that." I add._

_As I expect her to stand up to leave, she nods and pushes herself off the ground. "I think you might be right, McCormick. I will take your word for that. Thank you." She smiles proudly down at me. For some reason, it makes my chest tremble a bit; a feeling I am definitely y not used since I barely get caught off guard. _

"_You're welcome?" I say not sure if that was the appropriate response._

_In return she bends down and picks up my bag and swings it on her shoulder. "Coming to the library?"_

_I sat there looking up at her as I try to find an answer. Library? Me? Since when did school flunk out Kenny McCormick ever go to the library? And to possibly study of all things? The only time I ever went there was to sell cheat sheets for the exam we had last year. I could have made a lot of money too if I hadn't been caught by the principal because of Cartman. I'm just surprised they didn't kick me out on the spot. _

"_Don't look at me like that." She laughs. "I know your marks aren't that great and if you keep that up you won't get to graduate with all of us when the time comes. Just let me help, okay? It's the least I could do to pay back the advice you gave me." She smacks my shoulder playfully to gesture me to get off my lazy ass and go with her. _

"_Seriously? What makes you think the school president can change the likes of me?" I tease as I get up to follow behind her._

"_You just answered your own question. I'm the school president." She smirks back and at that moment my respect for Wendy increases by a hundredfold._

_**XXX**_

"_So if you look over these notes even a week in advance it should help you remember all the writers and the significance of their work by the time we have the exam." Wendy places down a binder of the notes I took in class and what she added in to help me understand the material better. Oh, and if one asks why I actually have a binder full of notes instead of nothing like I usually have, it's because ever since Wendy agreed to 'tutor' me, I've been forced to go to class on a regular basis for the past year now instead of skipping them and going whenever to my convenience like I did before. And since we have the same classes, she had been watching me like a hawk to make sure I was actually doing my work. Before I knew it, I had full binders of notes in ALL of my classes which was a little scary at first because of all the material I have to remember. But actually paying attention in class helped me remember the majority of it. All I have to say is: I had no idea I was so good at math and tech class._

"_Ah, no sweat. I remember most of it." I brag proudly and she scowls at me. _

"_I'm serious Ken! It's the end of the year and you can't afford to mess this up. You've been doing so well that I would hate to see all of that go down the drain because you got cocky!" she warns me but I roll my eyes. _

"_Yeah yeah. I'm not THAT stupid. You really think I would throw away all that effort? I'm not Cartman." I say and she snickers. But I would never tell her that I do not want to disappoint the only person in the world who recognized that I am more than just trailer trash; that I am capable of more than what I let on. She's the only person who ever made me feel proud of merely passing a test. Of course, like I said, I would never tell her that._

_Yet._

"_Speaking of Cartman." She closes the binder and slides it towards me. "Can you believe he almost won against me in the student body election? I'm not saying I deserve the entitlement or anything, but I would have feared for the school if he did."_

"_Yeah." I nod and place the binder back in my bag along with my other textbooks. "I made sure to vote for you. You're definitely a more promising person than fatass."_

_Wendy suddenly looks at me with surprise. "You voted?"_

"_Yeah..."_

"_But I thought you didn't care for all that 'political bullshit' as I would always hear you say to Stan and Kyle whenever there was an election?" _

"_I don't..."_

"_Then why...?"_

"_Because you deserved to win." I reply quickly and we both stop and stare at each other for a long while, knowing that my answer was not complete bullshit to get on her good side or anything. Despite the kind of history I have had growing up in a piss poor neighbourhood where I had to do some 'unethical' things to scrape by in life, I never lie. I hate being lied to and I hate lying. Lying breaks all trust and that as a result breaks what was a strong bond between people. It's what breaks families apart. _

_Families like mine._

_So that's why I would never give anyone a false impression. I would rather people take me as I am and not some false representation of myself that I put up to impress others. I'd rather be kicked to the curb for who I am._

"_T-thank you..." she replies nervously and I could see a hint of redness run across her face. My heart starts to race as I feel my nerves creeping up to me too._

_This isn't like me._

_This isn't like me at all._

"_So anyways!" she staggers up quickly while gathering her books and whatnot. "We better get to class before the bell rings." She says without making any eye contact. "You know how mad Mr. Garrison gets when anyone is late!" she laughs and pushes her chair back under the table quickly. _

"_Yeah, definitely!" I say back to her feeling equally awkward at the situation as I mentally punch myself for saying such a thing to her. I knew I shouldn't have said it and yet it just came out. The only reason why I said it was because we have been spending so much time together that I wanted to say something better than the usual 'thank you for helping me' or 'I owe you one big time' whenever we're done our study session. Now that I think about it, Wendy has pretty much spent all of her free time with me to the point where we're together as much as Stan and Kyle. If we're not at the library we're at her house or somewhere that isn't my house. She's offered many times to come over to my house but I always declined because I did not want to expose her to that environment. Plus, we wouldn't get much studying done around that place. _

_Also, the more time we spend together, the more I can't imagine being without her._

_As we both quickly pace to class with me following right behind her, I make a decision that would probably change our relationship from here on out. Without caring who is in the hall or who the fuck would be looking in our direction, I reach out and take hold of her hand. Even if she pulls away or slaps my hand off, at least I got to hold her just this one time. _

_Her hands feel warm and soft as expected. I savour the moment as much as I can before I lose that contact. I give her hand a squeeze before I proceed to release her hand, but as I loosen my grip, she pulls my hand back in place and tightens our hold much to my surprise. _

_This is nice._

_**XXX**_

_Two months after our exams had finished, Wendy and I started secretly seeing each other. The reason why we decided to keep it a secret? It was simple. People would never accept the fact that the poor kid whose future is doomed to failure is with the school president with a bright future ahead of her. They would talk; they would say things like how I would bring her down or how she's too good for me, which is true. There isn't a single day where I don't think that she is out of my league and also wonder why she would agree to be with me out of all people. I always asked her if the reason why she decided to be my girlfriend was because she pitied me but she would always reply no and that she would never waste her time with someone she had no interest in. _

_Then she would tell me how much she loves me._

_And nine months later, we were the happiest we've been in a long time. That is, until just a week ago her parents decided to get a divorce a couple of days after we made love for the first time. We were so happy that we were actually planning on telling everyone and not giving a shit about who had a problem with it or not, but then everything just came crashing down. After she was told that the divorce was final she hadn't been the same since. And I think it's safe to say that it has taken a toll on our relationship._

_I turn over to her and stroke a few strands of hair out of her face. "Are you okay?" I ask as she keeps her gaze on the sheets between us. _

"_I'm fine..." she mutters quietly as she lets go of my hand. _

_Fine my ass. She has been like for a week and getting progressively worse. The only thing we ever do now is have sex. I know most guys would think that I'm crazy for thinking it was a bad thing, but whenever I try to console her or ask if she wants to talk about it, she quickly tells me she wants to have sex. There have been many times were I try to say no because even I know that sex shouldn't be used to sooth the pain, but she would always get angry or sad so I have no choice but to agree since I hate to see her cry. _

"_You only made love to me because I cried when you said no, didn't you?" she asks quietly._

"_I didn't want you to..."_

"_I don't need your pity!" she sits up and buries her face into her knees. "I don't need anyone's pity!" _

"_Wendy..." I swallow and wrap my arms around her shaking body. I'm starting to feel as though no matter what I do, I can't help her. I can't do a fucking thing but sit here and watch her suffer from the sidelines. I'm so pissed at her parents that I want to give them a piece of my mind. But if I said anything they would know we are together; they would know they we are each other's firsts. As bad as my reputation is, I have actually never had sex with anybody before Wendy, which is one of the reasons why I cherish her all the more. It just feels so right to be with her. I've had plenty of opportunities to have sex with other girls before, but neither of them felt right. Even thought I am perverted with my friends, I don't fuck around with true love which is why I didn't feel right about giving up my first time to people I was not really invested in before. It's also the same reason why Wendy did not have sex with Stan. _

_Who would have though?_

_I rub her back and watch as her breathing steadies itself and calms her whole body. "It's okay. I'll always be here for you. I love you, Wendy." I gave her a peck on her left shoulder as she holds me back._

"_I love you too, Kenny." She sniffles as I wipe away a tear running down her cheek. She looks up at me and we engage in a passionate kiss. _

"And then the next day you suddenly broke up with me, telling me that you loved Stan all along. You didn't even tell me why or when you started to feel that way." I say into the phone after checking the time and realizing that we have been talking for almost four hours already. "Do you realize how hurt I was seeing you two back together after almost a year of telling me you love me?" My breath shakes into the speaker of the phone as I relive the pain that Wendy inflicted on me. I know it sounds selfish since she was going through a rough time back then, but leaving me out to hang and dry without much of an explanation was not fair to me as well.

It hurt.

"So why, Wendy? After all these years I still don't think I have closure."

"Why are you doing this to me now, Kenny?" her voice cracks, showing that she is equally hurt from reminiscing. "...you don't understand."

"Don't understand what?" I ask irritated at the same response she gave me all those years of asking. "That while I was trying to help you pick up the pieces from your parents' divorce you decided to bail without telling me why?"

"I needed a stable family!" she yells into the phone. "Stan was my place of comfort and Kyle is everything I've always wanted in a family, Kenneth!" she starts crying into the phone again as I try not to express how shocked and speechless I have become. "And you did not have that! Your family was just as horrible as mine and I wanted to be happy." She swallows. "... I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to be with someone without so much baggage as did I."

"Then..." I begin but am cut off.

"No, don't even..."

"...that means you don't really love Kyle."

"Stop it, Kenny..."

"So that also means..."

"Please...just..."

"...you still love me?"

I flinch when I hear the sound of a loud click on the other end and then a steady dial tone. So the truth is finally out. After all these years, that's what was going on without anyone knowing. Everyone thought everything was all roses and shit when Kyle and Wendy became a couple; everyone was so fucking happy for them without reading between the lines. No one actually knows how fucked up everything really is and once again I am overwhelmed with the same feeling I felt on the day Wendy broke things off with me. What does this make us now? Are we still Wendy and Kenny well known enemies in the group who will always hate each other for eternity, or are we Wendy and Kenny two people who have rekindled their feelings and are ready to start over again? I scratch me head in anger as I finally slam the phone back onto the charger.

"_Someone will always get hurt." _

I knew I was right.

But the question now is, can I forgive her?

**Stan**

Things have been relatively normal and that's the way it is going to stay from now on. It's been almost a month since the mall incident and after the talk, Kyle and I are back to way we were when I first came back to Colorado. Not only is it less stressful for him but the both of us are also able to focus on our jobs better. Rather than worrying about this and that going on between us from high school till now, we are just neutral to one another. So it was a good thing that I kissed him; it was a good thing that something horrible was able to make us realize that this just wasn't going to work out. He has a girlfriend while I am here to make the most out of my career. Everything worked out for the best.

Right?

I scribble a few lines on a student exemption note and hand it over to the same girl that sprained her foot on the first day I started in this school. She's been coming here a lot and according to her records even before I was here, she always visit the infirmary on a regular basis with some kind of excuse. It makes me wonder if she is just accident prone or she purposely hurts herself just to be excused from class. But her grades do say otherwise though.

"Thanks, Mr. Broflovski." she smiles at me and I chuckle.

"It's Mr. Marsh." I correct her as I pat her head. She blushes quizzically.

"I thought you and the other Mr. Broflovski were-."

"That's just a misunderstanding." I laughed again as I stand up to put away her files in the adjacent cabinet. The cabinets are so full that I literally have to jam them in with full force. Hopefully, I can get Mrs. Johnson to order me a few more of the same size if not a bigger one. But I have a feeling I'll be buried under heaps of paperwork before that will even happen.

Cheap-ass school.

"Did you two have a fight?" she asks with concern. I turn around to look at her and she only flashes me a look telling me that she won't tell a soul if I am to confide in her.

"No...why do you ask?" I raise an eyebrow.

She shrugs before swinging on her backpack. "Just a feeling, sir."

I shut the cabinet and stand up to stretch a kink in my back. "Don't go imagining things now." I joke but she doesn't even crack a smile as she continues to stare at me with a serious look.

"You just look sad lately." she replies and starts heading for the door. "I have to get to class now. Bye, Mr. _Marsh_."

This is the first time I've been called Mr. Marsh and it leaves me feeling even more down than I initially was. Perhaps it reminded me that Kyle and I are no longer in the same type of relationship that we had when I came back to Colorado let alone what we shared in high school. At least the new relationship we had when I came back felt like a fresh start; a clean slate where we both didn't have to worry about the past and just establish a new road that could lead us back to the bond we had back then if not more. But can I really call it a clean slate when what I felt for him in the past never changed till this day?

"Bye." I say back after she had left.

Who am I kidding? Regardless of how I feel, everything is out of my control now. Every day it feels as if nothing has happened between us at all. We still go to lunch together and greet each other whenever we run into one another in the halls. It was as if nothing had changed at all. Nothing. And that is what scares me the most. The fact that Kyle doesn't even want to acknowledge what had happened makes me seem like an insignificant aspect in his life.

I check the clock on wall of my office and sigh. Six more hours until the end of the day...I want the day to be over, and yet I don't because it would mean I'd be stuck alone at home for the rest of the night wanting to see Kyle who probably doesn't even want to see me. Also if the day was over it also meant that I would've missed another chance to sort things out with Kyle.

But if Kyle doesn't want anything to do with me then that means I don't have to worry about anything to do with him, right? And if that's the case then I'm actually living a carefree life without a relationship to worry about. I remember my roommate once told me that even though not having anyone makes a person feel absolutely empty on many levels, he would rather have that over constantly having to worry about maintaining a relationship that could be over in a matter of a few years. "It would be a waste for both parties" he always told me, but for some reason it felt more like an excuse than reasoning. I'm practically using the same excuse now.

I glance up from y desk and curse my luck as I see a blob of red hair pass by the office door window. My first instinct is to run to the door, open it, and invite him in since he's probably on break. But considering our situation, I slouch back down on the chair, making the metal material under the cushioning squeak.

It was the most depressing sound I ever heard. Almost as depressing as watching his red hair disappear from sight.

Another knock of my door and I am ready to tell whoever was on the other side to screw off because I was not in the mood to be dealing with people let alone concentrate on my job. But I know that that wouldn't look too good considering my position at this school. With me being a nurse and all I need to be a people person. At least act like one if I can't be one at heart.

I push back my office chair and make my way to the door, expecting another student trying to use some lame excuse to stay in the office to get out of class. When I swing open the door what is staring back at me is not a student clenching his/her stomach while faking some sort of made of illness that not even I have heard of. Instead, it's the last person I want to talk to.

Craig always have and always will be the last person I want to talk to when I'm upset.

"What are you doing here?" I ask without as much of a greeting. Right now I could care less about greetings.

"Harsh, man." He replies and refrains from flipping me off as he can tell there's something bothering me. But he doesn't ask.

"Why are you here so early?" he pinch the bridge of my nose to get rid of the sleepiness in my eyes. Sleeping doesn't seem to come easily nowadays with Kyle on my mid almost all the time. The only times when he isn't in my thoughts is when I'm either lucky enough to not to be dreaming about him or if I'm with a patient.

Craig holds up his hands in defence. "Whoa. I'm not here to cause trouble. Kenny had a party last night and I ended up crashing at his place because I was piss drunk. He sent me over here to tell you to come up to his place after work."

"Why couldn't he tell me himself?"

Craig grinned. "The no personal calls policy in your school and he's hung-over." He snickers to himself while I roll my eyes and sit down again so I could go back to the work I have to finish before the next bell.

"Yeah, I'll be there." I try to sound as uninterested as I could so he would fuck off. Before I know it, I see a shadow hover above my desk and I look up seeing Craig staring over me and looking at my papers.

"What's the matter with you, man?" he asks with his eyes still glued to the form I'm filling out to inform the girl I just saw's teacher that she had permission to come to my office.

"Nothing. Why?" I sign the paper and keep my eyes on the desk.

"No reason." He shrugs even though I could tell he is concerned. "Just be at Kenny's place later." He pushes himself off the desk and heads for the door.

"Later." I say back after hearing the door click shut behind me. Spending some time with Kenny and his wife doesn't seem like such a bad idea, but lately it seems as though no matter what I do my mind is preoccupied with thoughts about Kyle. And no matter what I am doing with other people, my mood is always brought down because of those thoughts. Even Kenny has said that I am becoming more and more obsessed over Kyle and that maybe it I would have been better off not coming back to Colorado. But that was just Kenny's way of giving a kick in the ass. He knows better than I do that I wouldn't have been able to stay in New York for long. Everyone who knew me back in N.Y.U. always told me that there just always seemed like something was on my mind trying to draw me back to Colorado. And when I found out there was an open position at this school, my first instinct to grab the spot proved they were right all along.

Too bad my reason for taking this job wasn't a calling to help the people at this school.

**XXX**

After I finish work I run back into my own apartment to change into something more comfortable before heading up to Kenny's room. To say I had a good day at work was a complete lie. Not only did I not see Kyle the entire time I was there because I was swamped with students, but at the end of the day I saw Kyle walk right by my office without stopping by to say goodbye like he usually does. As soon as I saw that red blob of hair go by, my heart sank. I grabbed my paperwork and decided to just do the rest at home since I didn't want to stay at that crappy school any longer.

I toss aside my dress shirt and pants and pull on the sweats I usually wear around my apartment and to bed. Whatever Kenny wants to talk to me about I have a feeling it isn't going to be a short visit, so I might as well get comfortable if I'm going to be there for the night.

I grab a quick drink of water from my fridge and head out, closing and locking the door behind me. As I jog up the stairs and knock on his door when I reach up there, I start to panic. I start to dread going to work the next day with the thought of never seeing Kyle anymore. The way I didn't see him at all of today really scared me and I'm not too sure if I can bear to work in a place that reminds me so much of Kyle. To be honest, Kyle is the only reason that keeps me coming to work as bad as that sounds.

"Door's open!" comes Kenny's voice from the other side. I take that as an obvious invitation to enter and let myself in. But what I find is not the Kenny I would have expected to be in front of me. I was expecting him to be in stained up clothes painting again, not...

"Dude! What's the matter with you?" I quickly approach his body lying face down on the couch. I shake him and pull him up in fear that he was going to suffocate himself.

"Are you still hungover?" I sit him up and wave my hands in front of him to get his attention. No, he isn't hung over, he looks exhausted. Very un-Kenny-like.

"No, dude." He rubbed his head and reached for the painkillers he must have had out for a while now.

"I thought you had a party last night?"

"What?" he looks at me with confusion.

"Craig told me you guys had a party!" I defend when he starts giving me the you-are-crazy look.

"What party? What the fu-? Fuck Craig!" he throws the painkillers across the room with anger and cups his face with his hands.

Now I'm getting worried.

"Kenny! What's the matter? Did you have a fight with your wife?" I sit down next to him and try my best to calm him. Even when we were little, I've never seen him like this except for one particular time in high school. I remember he had a freakout and didn't come to school for a week for some reason. And when he came back he told everyone there was nothing wrong and that he was just really exhausted from studying so much for exams and that we should all fuck off and stop asking him.

Somehow I didn't believe him. And I'm not going to believe him now if he gives me some shit excuse. It must have been something really big to make Kenny (who is usually never lets anything faze him) react like this. Maybe he'll tell me what happened to him back in high school as well.

"Kenny! What's the matter?"

Finally he looks up from his hands and tries to rub the tiredness from his face but does so in vain. The dark circles around his eyes are very visible and makes him look absolutely terrible.

"Stan..." he begins.

"Yeah?" I sit closer to listen.

"What if I told you that everything you once knew was complete and utter bullshit?"

"What..?" I ask with confusion.

"Bullshit Stan! Every fucking thing is bullshit!" he kicks the coffee table in front of him so hard that it knocks off the remote and breaks it. The remote batteries drop out of the casing and rolls across the room, leaving me wondering what the hell could have possibly happened to Kenny that left him like this. Plus, I don't think his wife will be too happy to come home to find a broken remote.

For once, my problem seems less important right now.


End file.
